User Panel
Posted: 8/17/2005 5:58:00 PM EDT
I'm not making it up!
She had an electrical contractor over today to install some canned lights in her house - but she had bought these fancy-schmancy 4-inch canned lights herself, with integral transformers (or something like that), that worked really well for the application she need. Apparently, they were quite unusual, and really cool, and the contractor thought they were awesome. So, fortunately I did not need to drive 350 miles to kick his ass. |
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Good thing, I bet an asskicking is hell in those wooden shoes. |
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Splinters man! |
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When did you get married? I guess I don't pay attention too well...
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dude dont ask, i asked the same thing the other day in another one of his wifes other house thing. |
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Good point!!! BTW - just in case you missed it or I forgot, Best Wishes to you both on the marriage!!! |
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You used the word cans in (not necessarily) polite conversation. Congratulations DK_Prof! You're nolonger Dutch! Welcome to being an American.
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I guess I need to watch more TV or something. All these sexual references are lost on me. |
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Plus, you can't sneak worth shit wearing those shoe .... clop, clop, clop. |
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As long as he didnt say he was going to put his bike in her trunk
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I told my sister inlaw's sister that I loved her CONES. How big they were, etc....
She had a basket of pine cones, which she thought I was talking about. Everyone in the room knew what I was talking about, except her. She's blond. |
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OK, were needing an English to horn dog translation key here.... |
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Cones = boobs never heard that one before? |
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Some of us electrical contractors have guns too...
The white light you get from low voltage (12volt)"can lights" is great. Very bright when the high beam is on get your self a good dimmer for the cans for real. Lutron makes good ones for low voltage |
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You're old. We'll get you through the language until you rot away at your computer though. |
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Not so much.... Yabows, devil pillows, hooters, sweater puppies, zoomers, but not cones. Cones are found at Baskin Robbins or placed on the side of the road by the DOT. |
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Us old farts are MUCH more direct and unambiguous about our sexual references. Life's too short to be playin' games. |
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Well, remember, Denmark used to known as "the Lowlands" because of the at or below sea level elevation of much of the country. So I would guess that they work fine for clandestine ops over there, what with the muddy ground and all. |
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JOE BOB'S CANONICAL "HOOTER" LIST JOE BOB'S CANONICAL "HOOTER" LIST The following is the world's most complete list of synonyms for the female breast. Got one that's not listed here? Drop an email to Joe Bob at [email protected] and we'll get it added. ----------------- A-B-Cs Abbott and Costello Airbags Alaskas All Day Suckers Alpha Betas Alps Amazons Ample Supply Amortisseurs (shock absorbers) An Bord Bainne (Irish-language; literally, "The Milk Board", The organisation which oversees the dairy industry in Ireland) Angel Cakes Annette Funicellos Ant Bites Appalachians Apple Dumpling Shops Apples Arthritis Artichokes Assets Atom Smashers Attic Aurorae Australis Avant-postes (Outposts) Avant-scenes (Apron - of stage) Avanteges -Advantages Avocados Awning B-52's Babaloos Backbreakers Baby Baits Baby Feeders Baby's Best Friend Baby's Dinners Baby's Public House Babylons Back Rubbers Bag O' Groceries Baggies Baggos Bags Bagungas Bait and Lure Balboas Balcon - Balcony Balloons Baloobas Banana Squeezers Bangers Bangles Banzis Baps Barbeaus Barnacles Barnes and Noble Basketballs Bassoons Batons Baubles Bazongas Bazonkers Bazookas Bazoomas Bazooms Bazoombas Beacons Beanbags Beautiful Eyes Bebops Bedtime Beach Balls Beestings Begonias Bejonkers Ben and Jerry Bert and Ernie Berthas Best Friends Betty Boops Bettys BiBs (bigger is better!) Big Bazooties Big Berthasa Big Boppers Big Brown Eyes Big Foot Radials Big Sacks of Jugs Bigguns Bikini Stuffers Billibongs Bio Domes Biscuits Bits Of Tid Bizcochos BJ & the Bear Blenders Blimps Blinkers Blockbusters Blouse Bunnies Blue Ridges Bob & Doug Bob & Ray Bob & Tom Bobolas Bobos Bodacious Ta-Tas Boingos Boites-a-Lait (Milk Bottles) Bolshy Groodies Bombastic Mams Bombers Bombshells Bonbons Bongos Bonkers Bonnie and Clyde Boobage Boobalicious Boobers Boobies Boobs Bookends Bookrests Boomers Boom-Boom Rockets Boons Boops Boosters Bosom Buddies Bosoms Boston Wobbelers, The Bottle Boulderados Boulders Bouncers Bouncing Beauties Bouncing Bettys Boy Bait Bozos The Boys Bra Buddies Bra Busters Bra Fight Bra Stuffers Brad Pitts Brail for "Suck me" Brain Busters Braunsteins Breakfast Tray Breast Friends Breastages Breastaurant, The Breasteses Breastest Friends Breasticles Breasts Breed Winners Brisket Bristol Cities Bristols BRitney's Assets (BRAs) Bronskis Brown Speckled Pups Brownies Brustwarzes Bubbas Bubbies Bubble Cups Buckets Buds Bugs Bulbs Bulges Bullets Bumper Cars Bumper Guards Bumpers Bumps Bumps In The Night Buoys Bushell-Bubbies Bust Busters Busties Butter Bags Butterballs Buttons Caboodles Cachongas Cadillac Bumpers Cafe La Mama Calabazas Cams Cannisters Cannon Balls Cannons Cans Cantaloupes Capitol Domes Car Waxers Carachas Cargo Caricatures Carumbas Casaba Melons Casabas Castinets Castles in the Air Cat Heads Cha-Chas Chachabingos Chalky Cliffs Chalupas Charlie's Angels Charlies Chaw Cheek Warmers Cherry Cakes Cherry Caps Chest Hams Chest Meat Chest Ornaments Chesterfields Chesticles Chestnuts Chet-Flasted Chi-Chi's Chickadees Chickaroonies Chihuahuas Chimichangas Chimpanzees Chiquitas Chock Blocks Chockey-nips Choochoos Chombalonies Chubs Chumbawumbas Chungas Chopons Cinch Sacks Circus Tents Claire-de-Lunes Clams Cleft Udders Coconuts Cold Weather Indicators Combreastables Commode Cloggers Concitas Cones Congas Conundrums Corkers Countess and The Lady Cowabungas Coxcombs Creamers Cream Pies Creampuffs Cruise Missles Cubs Cuddly Dudes Cuhuangas Cupcakes Cup-Runneth-Over Cups Curves Cushions Da-Das Dactylic Delights Dagmars Dairy Dairy Makers Dairy Pillows Dandies Danglers Dangling Participles Danny Devitos Davey & Goliath David Duchovneys Dead Heat in a Zepplin Race Demigods Dennis DeYoungs Desperados Dessert Deux Oeufs Sur La Plat Devil's Dumplings Diddies Ding Dongs Dingers Dinghies Dinglebobbers Dingos Dinners Dirigibles Dirty Pillows Distributor Caps Dolly Partons Domes Donkey's Ears Doodads Doorbells Doorknobs Doozers Doozies Dopplegangers Double Dribbles Double Ds Double Trouble Double Whammies Doudounes Doughboys Droopers Dual Air Bags Dual Floppies Duckies Duece And A Halves Dueling Banjos Dugs Du monde au balcon (French; size-dependant; ; literally, "to have the world on one's balcony") Dum Dums Dumbells Dumplins Dunes Durante's The Dutch Alps Dynamic Duo Dynamite Earmuffs Eartha Kitts Eclairs Eggplants Eggs Egos Eigers Eisenhowers El Primo Torpedos Elephants Ellby and Arb Emerson Bigguns Emmersomes Empress and the Queen Enchiladas Epcots Epees Eric and Lyle Ericas Everest and Kilimanjaro Ewers Exegeses Explosives Eyes Fahrphegnuggens Fahrvergnugens Feedbags First Base Flapjacks Flappers Flat Plains Flesh Bulbs Flesh Fillets Flesh Fujis Flesh Melons Floaters Floats Flopdoodles Floppers Flotation Devices Flotteurs - Floaters Flowers of Attitude Fly Swatters Fly Tetas Fog Lights Footlights Fred and Ethyl Fried Eggs Friends Front Bum Front Porch Frontal Elevation Frontal Female Water Wings Frosties Frybabies Fujiyamas Fun Bags Fun Domes Funnel Cakes Gagas Gajoombas Garbage Bags Garbonzas Garbos Gazingas Gazelles Gazongas Gazoombas Geminis Genaustahagens George and Gracie Geraldos The Girls Girlie Bumpers Girlthangs Glad Bags The Gland Canyon Glands Glandular Endowments Glass Cutters Globelets Globes Glockenspeils Gnugens Gob Stoppers God's Greatest Creation God's Milk Bottles Godzillas Golden Bozos Golden Domes Gongas Goobers Good Bits Goodies Goodyears Goombas Goonas Grab-Ems Grand Jeans (French) Grand Tetons Grapefruits Gravity Magnets Great Galloping Galoogies Great Wobblin' Wazoobies Grillwork Groodies Groupies Guavas Gubiczas Gumballs Gumdrops Gunboats The Guys Hakuna Mutatas Hallelujahs Hammocks For Two Handfuls Handle Bars Handholds Handsets Hand Warmers Hangers Hanging Cucumbers Happy Bags Happy Pillows Hat Hangers Headbangers Headers Head Lamps Headlights Headphones Headsets Heavers Heavy Duty Honeydews Hefties Heifers Helicopters Hematomas Hemispheres Hercules and Achilles Hershey Kisses High Beams High Pockets High-Rise Weather Balloons Hills Hindenburgs Hinderbinders Hippos Ho Hos Hobey J's Hogans Holmes & Watson Home Sweet Home Honey Dews Honkers Honorarium Hood Ornaments Hoohas Hoosiers Hooters Hoovers Hoppy and Bob Horns Horrorshow Bolshy Groodies Hot Air Balloons Hot Commodities Hotcakes Hottentots Hounds, The House of Lords How's Your Father's Howitzers Howlers Hubba Bubbas Hubcaps Huffies Hug Bumps Huge Maguffies Huggy Bears Hugh Jooters Human Tetherballs Humdingers Humonganoids Humpin' Hooters Hurricane Lanterns Hush Puppies Hypnotizers ICBMs Ice Caps Ice Cubes Idahos Igloos Il y a du beau monde (said of a genreously endowed woman - literally "there are a lot of people there") Implants Inflatables Ios Ipsedixits Isaac Newtons Itty Bits Itty Bitty Titties I-Want-Thems Jackanapes Jaggers Jahoobies Jambalayas Janet Jacksons Jawbreakers Jelly Bells Jemimas Jerry-Bilts Jersey Cities Jets Jibs Jigglies Jigglers Jiggly Wigglies Jobbers John And Paul Jordans Jubblies Juggernauts Juggies Jugglies Jugs Jukes Jumblies Jumbo Chickpeas Jumbos K-12 & Everest Kabombas Kabukis Kagemushas Kajoobies Kalamazoos Kanchenjungas Karl Marx and Joseph Stalin Kawangas Kayaks Kazongas Kazoos Keepers Kettle Drums Kiwis Knicknacks Knobbers Knobs Knockers Kongas Kukla, Fran, and Ollie Kumquats La Breas Lactating lungs Lactic Lobes Lacto Grenades Lactoids Lampoons Launch Codes Laurel and Hardy Lean-To's Lemons Lethal Weapons Leverage Lewinskis Lewis and Witties Lightbulbs Lindas Lip Fodder Little Duckies Llamas Load Stones Loaves Loaves fo love Loblollies Locklears Long Range Tanks Lollies Lollipops Lollos Lookers Lost Sheep Love Handles Love Jugs Love Lumps Love Melons Love Muffins Lovlies Low Riders Lucky Charms Lug 'Ems Lulas Lulus Lung Covers Lung Hammers Lung Nuts Lungwarts Luscious Lip-smackers Macaroos Mackerels Madonnas Magnates Magnets Magnificent Pontoons of Love Magookins Maguppies Maharanis Mahatmas Majestic Mountains Major Dongs Major League Mammaries Major Motion Picture Material Male-Madness Inducers Mamacitas Mambazos Mammalian Protruberances Mammarambas Mammaries Mammary Lane Mammies Mams Man Magnets Man Puppets Mangos ManNIPulators Mappemonde (those old fashioned maps showing two hemispheres) Maracas Marangos Maraschinos Margaritas Marimbas Marshmallows Marx Brothers Massage Pillows Matching Headlights Mau Maus Mausers Mazongas McDLT's McFloppities Meatbags Meatballs Meat Loaves Melon Patch Melones Melons Mesmerizers Mickey and Minnie Mike and Ike Milk Bags Milk Bottles Milk Cans Milk Duds Milk Fountains Milk Jugs Milk Makers Milk Melons Milk Shakes Milk Towers Milk Wagons Milky Sacks of Calcium Milky Moos Minarets Minesweepers Minneapolis and St. Paul Minnebagos Missles Mobutus Mogambas Mojuba's, The Mole Hills Mommas Mondos Moneymakers Monroes Montezumas Moo Moos Moogies Moon Pies Moonlight Sonatas Mosobs Mosquito Bites Mother Loads Mounds Mounds of Jello Moutain Peaks Mountains Mount Fujies Mouthwatering Scoops Of Flesh Moveable Feast Muchachas Muffins Mulligans Murphies Mushmelons Mutt and Jeff Nancies National Geographics Nature's Founts Nature's Little Thermometers Naughty Bits Nay-Nays Nectarines Neeners Nenes Nevernevers Nibards Niblets Nibs Nice Pair of thru'pennies Nice Set Of Hands Nice-uns Nichons Nin-Nins Ninnies Ninny Jugs Ninth and Tenth Wonders of the World Nippeloons Nippelos Nippers Nipples Nipple-Caddies Nipple Sundaes Nips Nodes Nodules Noochies Noogies Norks Northern Neon-Beamed Headlights Nortons Nose Cones Nubbins Nuclear Wareheads Nukes Num-Nums Obelisks Oblations Oboes Off-On Volume & the Channel Selector Omigods Oompas Oppenheimers Oracles Oranges Orbs Ostrich Eggs Ottomans Overhang Overstuffed Cushions Overstuffed Pillows Owls Padding Paducahs Pagodas Pair Pair of Problems Palms Palookas Pamelas Pancakes Papayas Parabolas Pare-chocs (bumpers) Parrots Part Numbers, The Party Bags Party Hats Party Passes Pastor Baiters Pastries Paw Patties Peaches Peacocks Peakers Peaks Pears Pebbles Pects Peepers Pencil Erasers Pendulums Penis Pillows Perkys Perpetual Entertainment Personal Flotation Devices Pert and Perkies Pete and Repeat Pia Zadoras Pick & Peck Pies Pike's Peaks Pillows Pimples Ping Pings Pink-nosed Puppies Pinkies Pinky & Perky Pips Pirate's Dream Planetoids Pleasant Eminences Pleasure Mounds Pleasure Peaks Plentifuls Plucktifuls Plums Pneumatic Bliss Pods of Lust Pointer Sisters Pointers Points Pokers Polygons Pom Poms Ponderosas Pontoons Poppinjays Portable Typewriters Potatoes Presidential Pair Pretty-Pretties Pride And Joy Professors Proof That God Exists Protuberances PT Boats Pumpkin Patch Pumpkins Pumps Puppies Pushmatahas Push-Ups Pyramids Quakers Quantities Quantum Heaps Quasars Quit-its Quonset Huts Rack Rackage Radar Domes Radials Ragtag and Bobtail Raisins Ralph Waldo Emersons Rangoons Raquels Raspberry Ripples Reasons To Live Red Carpets Rib Balloons Rib Bumpers Rib Cushions Rib Flaps Rivets Roberts Rockets Rockies Romans Roploplos Rosebuds Rositas Rotors Rotundas Grandes Roundabouts Roundies Roundtrippers Ruby Reds Rudolphs Running Lights Saggers Saggies Salamanders Saline bags The Saline Solutions Salt & Pepper Sams Sandbags Sapphos Satellites Schmeebs on those Nortons Scones Scoops Scud Missles Scylla & Charybdis Searchlights Set Shabba-dos Shakers Shebas Shelf Shermans Sherman Tanks Shimmies Shirt Potatoes Shirt Stuffers Shivarees Shlobes Shmozobs Shock Absorbers Shock And Awe Shoe Buffers Show Stoppers Sierra Madres Sigfried And Roy Silicone Earmuffs Silicone Sisters Silicones Silicone Suprise Supremes Silos Silver Stars Sir Galahad and King Arthur Skeeter Bites Skeeter Chews Skin Sacks Ski Slopes to Heaven Skooners Slappers Smart Set Smith and Wesson Smoothies Smuggling Raisins Snack Rack Snorbs Snow Cones Snow Tires Snowy Prominences Snuggle Pups Sockdollagers Sopapillas Space Aliens Spark Plugs Specials Speed Bags Speed Bumps Spheres Spic And Span Splazoingas Spongecakes Spontaneous Combustibles Spuds Sqaushers Squaw Valley Squeeky Toys Stacks Stanley and Livingston Stash in the Dash Stocking Stuffers Strap Hangers Stratus-spheres Stress Busters Stripper's ATMs Stuff Stuffing Stun Grenades Sturgeons Sucklebags Sugar Cubes Sugar Plums Super Droopers Supernauts Sultanas Sweater Bumpers Sweater Kittens Sweater Meat Sweater Melons Sweater Mittens Sweater Puffs Sweater Puppets Sweater Puppies Sweater Stuffers Sweat Glands Sweetrolls Tahitis Talents Tallapoosas Tamales Tambourines Tango & Cash Tankers Tartugas Tassles Tastykakes Tatas Tater Tots Tats Tatties Tattlers Teacups Teatolas Teats Tee Pees Teetees Teeters Tentacles Terrible Twos Terrible Twosome Tetas Tetons Thangs Thank Yous Thelma And Louise Thingamajigs Thingamajugs Thingies Thousand Pities Thwackers Ticket Punchers Ticket Sellers Tidbits Tiddly-Winks Tig Bitties Tig Ol' Bitties Time Zones Tippers Tishomingos Titbits Tits Titskis Titter Titties TNT's Tobacco Pouch Tomatoes Tom-Toms Tom & Jerry Tongue Depressors Tongue Twisters Tonsils Toolbags Tooters Tootsie Pops Top Bollocks (or Top Bollox) Tora Boras Torpedoes Tortillas Tortugas Totos Totties Towers Towering Twin Peaks Town and Cities Tracts of Land Tribbles Turaluras Twangers Tweakers Tweedledee & Tweedledum Tweekers Twin Cities Twin Peaks The Twins Two Eggs, Sunny Side Up Two Puppies in a Burlap Bag Twofers Tympanies Type 2s Uberalles U-Boats Udders Uhurus Umbrellas Umlauts Upper Karoos Upper Ten USDAs Utopia Van Dorens Victrolas Volcanoes Volksvanins Volumes Volvos Voos Wa-wa pedals Wahwahs Waldos Wallace & Grommit Wally and the Beav Wally Wispoppers Walters Wanna Bs Warheads Warts Water Balloons Watermelons Weapons Wedding Tackle Whammers Whapoons Whatchacallems Whim Whams White Rabbits Whole and 2% Whoopies Whoppers Wibbly Wobbly Wonders Widebodies Wigglers Wigwams Willie & Waylon Wilsons Windbags Windjammers Windmills Windshield Wipers Winnebagos Wipers Wobblers Womanhood Wonder Twins Wonderments Wongas Wonkas Woodymakers Woofers Wookies Wopbopaloobops Workbench World Trade Centers Wows Wreaths Xenoliths X-Rateds X-Ray Glasses Xylophones Yabbos Yabos Yahoos Yams Yayas Yazoos Yeast Dough Ying Yangs Yippie & Yahoo Yippies Yolandas Yomamas Yowsers Yubees Yum-Yums Yummies Yugos Z-bras Zagger & Evans Zeppelins Ziggurats Ziggys Zingers Zippys Zoom Zooms Zoombas Zoomers Zwiebacks ZZ Tops |
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I tried being direct and unambiguous about sex one time. Still have a loose tooth from that one. |
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You getting used to saying, "My wife" yet?
Just married joke.V Conversation overheard in the grocery store between two nubian goddesses. First goddess, "I hear you got married last week, is it so"? Second goddess, "Sista, it's so so I can't hardly touch it with a powder puff"! |
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+1 What did I miss? |
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So I guess I was the only one who thought this was about silencers....
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It's a career thing. It's not that we don't WANT to live together, it's that not a lot of research universities have two openings in the same department in any given year PLUS we would have to be the two best qualified people in the country. So we are both going to play out our tenure clocks at our current universities, and see what happens when we both go up for tenure in the next year and a half. Either way - it will almost certainly be resolved within the next two years - and then hopefully we'll end up in the same city. If either of us gets tenure at our respective universities, then we will end up in the same city - we just don't know which city it will be. But after living in separate cities for seven out of the last nine years, you get used to it. Oh - and all you jokers. You're ALL on my list! ETA: And an ass-kicking with clogs WOULD hurt! |
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Hey, it's always fresh, exciting, and joyous to see each other. There are worse ways to preserve a relationship. |
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It IS getting a little old, but it's also nice (in a way). We usually get to see each other every three week (for a long weekend), and we hang out for much of the summer in one city or the other, and we go to a lot of conferences (and vacation) together. Plus, I get to live exactly the way I want, with my house exactly the way I want. Wake up when I want, eat when and what I want, watch TV all I want, stay up as late as I want, etc. It's a half-empty, half-full cup kind of deal. |
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Almost 3 week ago. Pictures and everything - over in the girley forum: www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=71&t=378769 |
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Oh! I'm soooo scared! Even I can outrun someone is wooden shoes! Vulcan94 |
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Yeah, but eventually you'll trip over a strategically-placed 200 lb. wheel of Gouda, and then your goose is cooked. I understand that was DK-Prof's granddad's contribution to the war effort during WWII: he was a member of the intrepid "Edamkommando," helping to install Gouda barricades and Schmearcase pits along the "Leidenline" between Venlo and Tegelen on the border with Germany. Rommel is said to have remarked "Auf Maginot, auflachen; auf Leiden erschrecken." (At the Maginot [line], we laugh; at the Leiden [line] we tremble.) Thanks to the efforts of the Edamkommando, Holland's windmills were preserved for the Allies' use in the post-Normandy invasion and occupation of Europe. |
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Oh, and to add a little more: the ivory tower can be a hard master. That's where my wife and I are at right now. She took a "quasi-faculty" position at a community college, and I am still working in a support role in my field, so that we can still live in the same town (we don't *work* in the same town, but that's another story). I have turned down three excellent positions in the last three years (still kicking myself for two of them) because of this phenomenon. You would be surprised at how many academic couples don't live in the same town/area, or even state! It just [almost always] comes with the territory. Jake. |
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"Girley??""" Who you callin' girly clog boy? The pics are lovely...as is Mrs Prof...I have no idea about her cans.... |
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