Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when  the Darwin Awards are

bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then,  are the glorious

winners.



Darwin Award Winners:



1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at  his intended victim during

a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber  James Elliot did

something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the  barrel and tried the

trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the  honorable mentions:



2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger  in a meat cutting

machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim  to his insurance

company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its  men to have a look

for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The  chef's claim was

approved.



3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a  space for his car during a

blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find  a woman had taken the

space. Understandably, he shot her.



4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a  Zimbabwean bus driver

found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be  transporting from Harare

to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his  incompetence, the driver

went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting  there a free ride. He

then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,  telling the staff that

the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre  fantasies. The deception

wasn't discovered for 3 days.



5. An American teenager was in the hospital  recovering from serious head

wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked  how he received the injuries,

the lad told police that he was simply trying to  see how close he could get

his head to a moving train before he was hit.



6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a  $20 bill on the counter,

and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash  drawer, the man pulled a

gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which  the clerk promptly

provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,  leaving the $20 bill on

the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the  drawer...$15. (If

someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime  committed?)



7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty  badly. He decided that he'd

just throw a cinder block through a liquor store  window, grab some booze,

and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it  over his head at the

window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be  thief on the head,

knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of  Plexiglas. The

whole event was caught on videotape.



8. As a female shopper exited a New York  convenience store, a man grabbed

her purse and ran. The clerk called 911  immediately, and the woman was able to

give them a detailed description of the  snatcher. Within minutes, the police

apprehended the snatcher. They put him in  the car and drove back to the

store. The thief was then taken out of the car and  told to stand there for a

positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,  that's her. That's the lady I

stole the purse from."



9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a  man walked into a Burger

King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun,  demanded cash. The

clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the  cash register without

a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk  said they weren't

available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.



A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man  attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

Seattle Street, he  got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the

scene to find a very  sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled

sewage. A police spokesman  said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline

and plugged his siphon  hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle  declined to press charges, saying that it was the best

laugh he'd ever  had.

Oh please Not again!