ETA: Passing this on from our OIC.

Used to be known as Space Shuttle Door Gunner Program (SSDGP)

Beside the name change the there are a few up dates that have been implemented to increase the safety of the gunner and all personnel on the craft.

01. No longer will the door gunner trade with the ball turret gunner unless you are crossed train in the operation of the turret and articulated arm mounts of the door weapon..  The tail gunner and door gunner may trade since the nomenclature is the same.

02. No more alcohol  on flights. We have had to many gunners fall out of the door trying to reenact tricks seen in the different shows put by various media.

03. If it has not been taught to at your initial training or in-services do not do it.

04. Do not beg the driver to do over flights of your ex-girl / boy friends house at 0’dark 30.  This waste fuel that could be better used in the support of the space rangers and the Lunar Marines.

05. No more free fall drops from orbit to ground when the mission is over and the craft is RTB.

06. All personnel must stop trying to use the force when engaging enemy targets.  Use the targeting computer or the metal targeting recital that is what they where made for, it works better.

07. No more jerking off in the shower while on mission.  You are in zero-g the stuff gets every where and smell up the cabin.

08. Satellites are not for target practice use designated targets.

09. When boarding the International Space Station the crew will refrain from playing the boarding music from Star Wars episode IV.  Also the chocking of the crew members is forbidden (See Rule #2).

10. All craft are no longer to  have “Nose Art” depicting “Star Trek”  themes. The use of half naked women is still on the approved list.

11.  Water balloons are now on the approved listed of field expedient munitions.

12. All female gunners are to stand down during their “PMS” cycle.  To many of the male gunners are ending up being shot or with gun barrels stuck in their pooper.

Any more changes will be addressed in future memo’s or edits to this document.

That is all.
Regards,
Col. W. Dearing

I have a question on #10. If the half-naked chick is green, does that automatically ban her under the "Star Trek" clause?

Quoted: I have a question on #10. If the half-naked chick is green, does that automatically ban her under the "Star Trek" clause?

Only if she looks like the Star Trek chick.  Also if you notice it does not say what half can or can't be naked.

Bump for the rest of the crew.

Thanks for the list, Wilma.

Does this mean I'm out of a job? (Currently a Space Shuttle Plumbing Engineer in the NASA Reserves - they don't trust me with the guns.)

Quoted: That is all. Regards, Col. W. Dearing

God, I loved that woman.

Excellent.
Udated my ops-spec manual!
Glad to see that item #12, the PMS rule has finally been enforced.
That has led to uncomfortable situations in the past.

Quoted: Thanks for the list, Wilma. Does this mean I'm out of a job? (Currently a Space Shuttle Plumbing Engineer in the NASA Reserves - they don't trust me with the guns.)

This was given to me to pass on.  I'm just a shuttle driver.


Your job is safe.  Those trigger pullers are having a hard tim flushing.  They can't seem to get it right twice in a row.

#7 & #12

Quoted: Quoted: That is all. Regards, Col. W. Dearing God, I loved that woman. www.omzigsgraphs.50megs.com/images/ErinGrey.jpg

<Twiki> BeDeBeDeBeDe ... Nice ass, Colonel! BeDeBeDeBeDe </Twiki>

Well fuck, guess I'm gonna have to kick it.

Bump