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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:41:14 PM EDT
A bit of backstory:
My girlfriend is a freshman at Emory University and is forced to live in the dorms this year. She was paired up with the sterotypical uppity rich spoiled bitch roommate. She really needs to be taken down a peg or two. After thinking about it, I came up with a couple ideas, one naturally being to stuff it in her pooper and post pics (got a Cassanova from my unit trying to do just that), and second to kidnap her prized stuffed duck. So I have aquired said duck and intend to send it travelling to exotic locales with pictures being sent back and posted to a website I will construct. The question is how can I make this better or raise the humor value? To whom can I send this duck?  (image taken from an Ebay auction as I would never own sheets like that) Currently one of the guys I work with is trying to take pictures of it on a Russian missile launcher where he works. I believe he was told any pictures of this thing were for FOUO so they couldn't be released. Anyway, I should get the duck back at drill this weekend so I need to come up with new interesting places to send it. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:42:18 PM EDT
[#1]
You could stuff it the ducks pooper and.....
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:42:45 PM EDT
[#2]
Tie it to a stake on a firing range and get a picture through the scope.
Go to a shop and stick it on a press like it's going to be crushed. Bandsaw, drill press, etc.... Find a place that is laying cement or pavement and put it in the path. The middle of traffic would be fun |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:44:10 PM EDT
[#3]
I want to draw this out for as long as possible and eventually return the duck to this girl. Blowing it up may be an option at the end of the tour of duty depending on how bitchy she gets.
I know it is a bit juvenile, but its funny. Would anyone be willing to recieve it, take pictures of it with local landmarks and e-mail pics back and send it on? |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:45:42 PM EDT
[#4]
I could put on the end of a 75' arial ladder. Burn it too!!
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:45:51 PM EDT
[#5]
I will take high resolution pics of the duck with the space needle in the background, and then forward it to someone of your choosing!
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:51:32 PM EDT
[#6]
A friend of mine from Holland is coming to visit this Christmas, I'm taking him to the grand canyon. Maybe a pic from there, or we could forward it on to holland with him and see if we could get a pic in front of a windmill Chris |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:54:00 PM EDT
[#7]
now there is an idea. I intend to send it around the sandbox when I can get a good connection there as all the people from my unit have returned. Another idea is if anyone else has a daughter with a similar duck, take odd pics and e-mail them to
[email protected] |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:54:03 PM EDT
[#8]
Don't damage it, just threaten it.
Iraq! You need to send it to Iraq! |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:54:17 PM EDT
[#9]
I'll play. Could get some pics of it near the NASA Johnson Space Center near Houston....
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Posted: 12/8/2004 1:58:50 PM EDT
[#10]
Too bad theres no nationally recognizable landmarks in Tucson
If you want me to stick it to a cactus I could however. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:02:22 PM EDT
[#11]
How about the big green road sign that says "Tuscon"?  |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:04:32 PM EDT
[#12]
One Word. PHOTOSHOP.
seriously, why ship the stupid thing around? Some of the photoshoppers here made some hemp and levi jean lowers. It could be in Iraq, France, Antarctica,... 
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:07:49 PM EDT
[#13]
True, I will post some good pics of this thing in the photoshop forum. Good idea.
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:09:50 PM EDT
[#14]
But that isn't as cool. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:14:18 PM EDT
[#15]
You need to find a duplicate duck and send it home in pieces -or- document a tannerite 'test' with the dupe duck. Then you could give back the 'real' duck and the end of the semester. No harm no fowl!
ByteTheBullet (-: |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:16:06 PM EDT
[#16]
+1, and it would make for a GREAT website. Photoshopping isn't the answer on this one. I want it! I can take pictures of it in situations GUARANTEED to make a spoiled bitch cry. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:17:05 PM EDT
[#17]
Good ideas like this have an unnatural ability to go to shit. Don't do anything like this. She could file some sort of action against you or your GF that would cause all kinds of problems.
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:20:11 PM EDT
[#18]
Tag...
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:20:12 PM EDT
[#19]
If you roll back to plan 1, I can help with sunny beaches and maybe some other stuff....
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:21:20 PM EDT
[#20]
Are you sure their is only one spoiled rich girl at this place?
SGatr15 |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:22:31 PM EDT
[#21]
Yeah - mail it to trustworthy arfcom members and have them take pictures of it from different landmarks around the country. Or - ship it to Iraq and have someone send her a picture of it mounted on the front of a Humvee or APC. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:22:49 PM EDT
[#22]
Btw, is this the girls duck?
Did you steal it from her? Sgatr15 |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:24:13 PM EDT
[#23]
True, that is why I am not sending it to Afghanistan with Air Force personnel. It would point directly to me. That is why I wanted to get ARFCOM involved as there are a lot of people that don't look like me. She just knows that the duck disappeared. I has been kidnapped once before by some of the girls in the hall as a joke so I just made it look like round two. Oh I will send the duck out and photoshop it at the same time. If anyone is really motivated, the duck is like 10 bucks at Linens and Things. Take photos and then give it to a niece or to Toys For Tots. [email protected] |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:25:46 PM EDT
[#24]
ACK! Why didn't I think of that? LOL I'll seriously help. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:26:43 PM EDT
[#25]
Technically.... yes. I have purchased an identical duck that I am sending around while keeping the original safe. I will return it to her eventually. She has been making my girlfriend's life a living hell. And no, she isn't the only spoiled bitch there by far. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:27:27 PM EDT
[#26]
I meant in the room SGatr15 |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:29:38 PM EDT
[#27]
Pay attention Sarge! 
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:29:55 PM EDT
[#28]
You could also take it up to Four Corners if you're inclined to take a road trip. Good opportunity to buy some stupid Indian rocks made into a necklace and get your pocket picked by 5 y/o redskins. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:31:29 PM EDT
[#29]
Get some pics with a nasty looking hooker or a bum hugging on it.
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:32:46 PM EDT
[#30]
Yeah I can guarantee that she is the only spoiled bitch in the room. My girlfriend is from the backwoods of Tennessee from a disfunctional home. The only reason she is going to Emory is because she got a full scholarship from them. Her father is an abusive asshole that collects social security as his only income. She is anything but spoiled.
ETA: Well maybe I spoil her a bit, but only because she deserves it and I love her. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:36:05 PM EDT
[#31]
Send it to me . . . I will take it to the Patton museum at FT Knox and take pictures of it in Heavy Armor!
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:37:56 PM EDT
[#32]
The duck with the Las Vegas skyline in the backround?
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:38:43 PM EDT
[#33]
Okay, if anyone is interested send me addresses to the wandering duck e-mail. As soon as I get the duck back from my buddy, I will send it out. Who do you think the cheapest carrier would be to ship this thing from point to point?
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:39:14 PM EDT
[#34]
Once again...it isn't what is written...it is what is not written that is often important. Sir. Sgtar15 |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:44:22 PM EDT
[#35]
I could see about jumping with it from a C-130....
It'd be hard to explain why I have a duck stuck in my harness though. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:44:48 PM EDT
[#36]
Dress in Full Mall Ninja or Combat Casual, put on a mask hold a gun to it's head and demand ransom, take a picture of it near a duck blind, making sure to get a shot of your Federal Migratory Waterfowl stamp with it!
 Oh Yeah! Take a picture of it on a platter at the end of a Chinese Buffet table! |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:45:45 PM EDT
[#37]
I could take the duck and take it's picture:
1) Disneyland (seated in a ride...!) 2) In front of Grauman's Chinese theater.  3) In the hands of a pole-dancer in a stripclub  4) on the ledge of a tall building seemingly jumping to it's death...  5) In front of a firestation (on a truck) 6) In my car, with Los Angeles freeway signs in the background. |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 2:51:00 PM EDT
[#38]
Well I could get a picture of it riding a stuffed buffalo.
Or tied up on a track with a steam engine like the old 30's movies. Pic with it visiting grave marker for Civil War General Grenville M. Dodge's wife.  |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 3:05:36 PM EDT
[#39]
Color me motivated. I'm digging around the linens and things website though, and not finding a duck. Any leads? |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 3:09:57 PM EDT
[#40]
it is made by Moshi. I looked around on their website, and I can't find it either. They had plenty in the stores. Hmm. More to follow.
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Posted: 12/8/2004 3:14:52 PM EDT
[#41]
If I can find one, I'll get pics in the jail holding cell with some drunks.
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Posted: 12/8/2004 3:17:21 PM EDT
[#42]
If you can get it to me in the next week, I can take a photo of it on the sign for the continental divide on Monarch Pass in Colorado...
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Posted: 12/8/2004 4:56:38 PM EDT
[#43]
Scribble a note that says:
" I have kidnapped myself. Send $5,000 to (Open a P.O. Box) or you will never see me again. -Donald" May as well make a little cash right?
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Posted: 12/8/2004 5:00:43 PM EDT
[#44]
Hide a hand grenade underneath it.
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Posted: 12/8/2004 5:06:57 PM EDT
[#45]
 You're going to hell for that one.
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Posted: 12/8/2004 6:15:11 PM EDT
[#46]
 Tell your buds it's all part of a gag. Which it is. Tell The Powers That Be and they might let you. They might even let the duck earn a Paratrooper Badge. The Duck with a Red Beret. That would be interesting. They might go for it providing the Duck goes back to its original owner. 
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Posted: 12/8/2004 6:23:37 PM EDT
[#47]
Without us finding copies of this damn duck, I would not do cheapest, but most likely to get there. We all know UPS loses guns, sorry looses ( ), so I would personally GO POSTAL with Priority & shippng confirmation.NO DUCKS SHOULD BE HARMED IN COMMISSION OF THIS PRANK. ANY HARM TO DUCKS EITHER LIVING OR DEAD SHOULD BE PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
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Posted: 12/8/2004 6:24:41 PM EDT
[#48]
Id be up for it, Ive done things like this before, they get absolutely hilarious if they work... I have a cabin in the Black Hills, Mt. Rushmore or Crazy Horse monuments sound good? 
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Posted: 12/8/2004 6:40:20 PM EDT
[#49]
Okay so far we have:
Space Needle Tucson Grand Canyon Johnson Space Center Cape Canaveral Ft. Knox with tanks Las Vegas (with go-go girls? come on wolfpack we need gogo girls) On an Airborne jump Grauman's Chinese theater Riding a buffalo In a drunk tank holding cell Continental Divide Mt Rushmore Excellent start. Now I just need addresses so I can get this out next Monday. And any timeframes that would be pertenant to this. Email me for this idea at [email protected] |
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Posted: 12/8/2004 6:46:29 PM EDT
[#50]
Just emailed.
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