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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:14:01 PM EDT
[#1]
I wouldnt do such a thing myself but YMMV
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:15:18 PM EDT
[#2]
If you don't trust your wife enough to think that she's telling you the truth, you got bigger fucking problems than worrying about the validity of a lie detector test.
Marriage counseling NOW and start covering your ass with respect to (from what it sounds like) the impending divorce. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:15:59 PM EDT
[#3]
hmm
I'd say that if your at the point where you want your wife to take a lie detector test, the marriage is already over. good luck to you man |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:17:07 PM EDT
[#4]
I have a little experience with polygraph exams. If you get a good polygraph examiner AND your wife doesn't know how the polygraph works, its over 99% correct. On the other hand, the less experience/intelligence your examiner has and the more your wife knows about how it works, the lower its accuracy is. Thats why the first question an experienced polygraph examiner asks is "what do you know about the polygraph exam".
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:17:13 PM EDT
[#5]
Asking her to take the test is just as bad as acusing her of something. I think that's about how it would go over, I think. It will cause problems.
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:17:22 PM EDT
[#6]
+1 "Dump that bitch"~ Tom Leykis |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:18:35 PM EDT
[#7]
I agree. If you have trust issues, you have problems. A marriage doesn't work without trust. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:19:04 PM EDT
[#8]
As I was reading, this is exactly what I thought. But, I guess it depends what you think she may be lying about. What do you think she is lying about? |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:19:11 PM EDT
[#9]
Lie detectors for the most part are bullshit (IMHO)
I'd say that you need to confront whatever is going on NOW! Don't play games with shit like this. If you're wrong about your assumptions then apologize. If you're right then you need to cut to the chase and deal with the problem NOW! Letting something like this eat away at the foundations of a relationship will do nothing except destroy that relationship in the long run. Better to figure out what's going on now rather than let it fester. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:19:31 PM EDT
[#10]
What would you think if your wife asked you to take one?
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:21:59 PM EDT
[#11]
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:22:36 PM EDT
[#12]
Thats just it we have ALWAYS had trust
Thats why now everything seems fishy. I want to know whats going on before she gets the upper hand if you know what I mean. Before today I would have laughed at anyone wanting to put their wife on a lie dectector test. But this is serious enough to have to know the truth I have ALOT to lose if the truth comes out down the road Shadow |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:26:04 PM EDT
[#13]
If your serious about a polygraph, you need to save the money and put it towards a divorce lawyer.
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:26:41 PM EDT
[#14]
P.I.
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:27:29 PM EDT
[#15]
"If your serious about a polygraph, you need to save the money and put it towards a divorce lawyer."
divorce her w/o the facts huh? |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:30:30 PM EDT
[#16]
I hope your not married to my sister, she has the ability to evade polygraph machines, she has done it twice, she could tell the examiner her hair was blue with pink polka dots and the machine says she is being truthful. I do not know how she does it, she jutt says that once you know that the machine can't catch you, it can't catch you anymore, whatever that means.
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:31:05 PM EDT
[#17]
NO LIE DETECTOR TEST. They are not accurate. I've lied on a lie detector test and not been caught. They don't work well on people who can remain cool under stress. Plus, if she's not lying, it'll ruin your marriage.
If you REALLY think she's doing something wrong, you'll just have to catch her. There are numerous ways of catching people doing wrong things. For example, you can buy a simple discrete device to record key-strokes on a computer. They even have software that will do this. These things are very inexpensive, like under $100. This can help you figure out if she's communicating with someone on email or the internet somehow. You can also discretely record telephone conversations that occur while you are not home with some inexpensive devices readily available on the internet. The next best thing is to hire a P.I. If after that, you still cant find any wrongdoing, then she's probably not doing anything wrong, and it's all just in your head. DO NOT DO A LIE DETECTOR TEST! If the lie detector says she's not lying (and she still could be), you'll look like an ass, and you'll cause her to be more cautious, making it harder to catch her red handed. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:32:45 PM EDT
[#18]
What, specifically, has she told you that sounds fishy? Give us more facts so we can make some kind of assumptions on whether she is screwing you or if you are just over-reacting!
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:38:45 PM EDT
[#20]
Good advise NICEGUYMR
What if she just did it once w/ the intention to never do it again or the ability? I belive the calls were from work, if any. She has been around me long enough to know how to perfectly cover all trails, to even lay booby traps to see if anyone is on your trail. The issue is that now that I might be on her she would stop anything she is doing, or lay low for along time so a PI would be ruled out |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:43:49 PM EDT
[#21]
Maybe a dumb suggestion but why don't you just ask her. Tell her you have some issues and would like the truth. Ask her to look you in the eyes during the conversation. You will be able to tell from that alone. If she has the ability to look you in the eyes and lie without you knowing she is some sort of sociopath and you dont need her. You might end up looking like an ass though if your wrong.
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:46:58 PM EDT
[#22]
I have asked her, she has amitted to some wrong-doing
But its the details that really matter now at this point. I think she is tring to hide some of the details to make it less of an impact. She knows some of the details could ruin everything |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:47:42 PM EDT
[#23]
Women lie? say it ain't so......
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:49:43 PM EDT
[#24]
I hope for you that this does not involve a friend or family member. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:51:46 PM EDT
[#25]
no friend or family member
just someone w/ a few missing teeth |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:53:12 PM EDT
[#26]
Ask her WTF is up. Keep in mind the following:
1. If she loves you, she will not be upset. 2. IF she is guilty, she will either admit it (least likely), or act offended and accuse you of being a possesive, jealous creep, therefore turning the situation around to be YOUR fault (likely), or just deny it and try to obfuscate by diverting your attention to something/somebody/someplace else (most likely). For example, my ex was dating the guy she would up leaving me for well before she left. She started spending a lot of time with her youngest sister and her fiance', and she told me that's where she was going. However, it was well established that she didn't like this fiance' very much. So when she started going there a LOT, I got suspicious and questioned her about it. She got defensive with me. A few weeks later when she was still leaving a lot, I questioned her again. She started dropping bombs like "I am going to so and so's (friend) place to go drinking". She didn't drink much, and she never hung out with this friend that she worked with. The friend also lived 30 miles east of us. In reality, she was still going to her sisters place (20 miles south), because she was dating her sisters fiance's cousin. Tread carefully. I hate to say it, but on one hand you should talk openly with her and try to find out exactly what is happening. On the other hand, you should probably hire a PI to find out the truth, as it doesn't sound like you have any trust happening. This makes everything suspect. It's too bad a woman can fuck up a man's life so much, a lot of this CYA crap wouldn't be necessary. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:56:10 PM EDT
[#27]
Is this person the same race as you? I'm only wondering because it does make a difference. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 4:58:00 PM EDT
[#28]
Magnus357
yes same race so what is the reason for the question? |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:02:07 PM EDT
[#29]
the best thing to do would be to volunteer to take the test as well. then she doesnt feel so alone and accused.
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:02:16 PM EDT
[#30]
Some white girls (maybe other ethnicities? I don't have too much experience in other areas) have a fantasy about sex with a black man. That is why I was wondering.
If it was something like that, then maybe just maybe it would be a one time thing. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:02:35 PM EDT
[#31]
im all for it
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:03:02 PM EDT
[#32]
I agree that with trust issues as you have, the marriage is over. Save yourself a lot of heartache and move on.
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:03:17 PM EDT
[#33]
thats funny magnus real funny
you sure thats not your fantasy? |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:09:59 PM EDT
[#34]
I didn't say your girl had that fantasy. I just asked a relevant question. I wish you best of luck though all of this, but my advise is to cut your losses and run as long as there are no kids in the equation.
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:11:52 PM EDT
[#35]
no kids
just 7 years of my life and everything I have ever worked for |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:15:46 PM EDT
[#36]
Purdy girls are a dime a dozen. If she is playing the head games it may be a form of payback to Her . If she is covering, forgive her and move on and live with it or start over with a new relationship and try not to make the same mistakes again . If I was you I would move on unless your head over heels over her .
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:20:09 PM EDT
[#37]
+1. No matter if she is telling the truth or not you are in a LOT of trouble. My guess is your instincts are probably correct and you are in a lot of trouble. But even if you are wrong, you are still in a lot of trouble. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:27:22 PM EDT
[#38]
WTF?  |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 5:39:32 PM EDT
[#39]
Trust your instincts. If you think there is more than meets the eye- there probably is. Lie detector is a bad idea. Have a heart to heart with her. She is probably trying to spare your feelings. It is also possible that you would be better off without the truth. Use the next couple months to verify, to hide your assets, and to lay the groundwork for leaving her, or forgiving her. Good luck
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 6:32:57 PM EDT
[#40]
Someone on here had it right a while ago. The line went something like this: "Every women is a liar, except your mother and she lies to your father."
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Posted: 10/9/2004 6:34:49 PM EDT
[#41]
+1 sory to say it but.... |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 6:40:48 PM EDT
[#42]
Shack... |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 6:45:38 PM EDT
[#43]
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Posted: 10/9/2004 6:50:31 PM EDT
[#44]
LOL- BAIL OUT!
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Posted: 10/9/2004 7:20:10 PM EDT
[#45]
Is it feasible to find someone with voice stress analysis equipment. Supposedly extremely difficult to fool, albiet expensive, and possibly only available to .gov types...
No, seriously, if you are thinking of having her take such a test, the marriage is pretty much shot. Get your ducks in a row for the inevitable divorce. Hide your guns, and stash some cash; you'll need it. |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 7:22:34 PM EDT
[#46]
bad idea 
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Posted: 10/9/2004 7:26:07 PM EDT
[#47]
what planet is this? |
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Posted: 10/9/2004 10:06:15 PM EDT
[#48]
You know, Im gonna go out on a limb here and just tell us SPECIFICALLY is the deal. Stop with the beating around the bush. Was she cheating?, did she do something criminal? Just come out and say it. You never know, someone on this board may have already either done it or knows someone who has.
Specifics son, SPECIFICS. |
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Posted: 10/10/2004 12:13:28 AM EDT
[#49]
If you're at the point of seriously considering a lie detector or a PI then trust is already gone. If that's the case, what's left?
If it looks like a duck... |
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Posted: 10/10/2004 12:15:50 AM EDT
[#50]
I wondered the same thing. |
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