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Posted: 9/29/2004 3:48:53 PM EDT
[#1]
I'm surprised nobody's said it yet, but...........
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Posted: 9/29/2004 3:49:21 PM EDT
[#2]
From what I have read I would bet she dumped you. (It wasn't mutual, you would never had left except she "need time to sort herself out"???) This is code for "she has found someone better than you" Eric. Your mistake was answering the phone in the when you saw it was her on the caller Id. When a woman dumps you, ... you should give her NOTHING. You are clearly lost my friend. You need to learn about women and the GAMES they play. Go to ASKMEN.COM and read everything Doc Love has ever written there. He gives the best council on women I have ever seen. And he will clear up what women are really up to when they do these things. The women you describe is just about like every internet girl I've ever heard of. Unmarried with two or more kids. She no catch. And you can do better. Let me guess, ... you met her through a personal ad on the internet? She has lots of male friends hanging around her? (that she swears are "just friends") Whom she will never give up for you? Her kids are #1 with her and you take a back seat at all times? She likes spending money? Expecially your money? This girl was using you Eric. And she thought she could "better deal" you with some other guy, but for one reason or another that didn't work out. So now she is back to sponge off "old dependable" (you) again. She's a user and a poor catch. You sound like you have some things going for you in life. Go out and find a woman of good character who is worthy of you and a relationship. Good luck. Zen "This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine" |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 3:54:13 PM EDT
[#3]
Might I say........ DUH!! That one should apply to any good parent. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 3:57:51 PM EDT
[#4]
That's not what I am talking about. Kids should be number 1, but there also needs to be time for the adults too. Zen |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 4:03:35 PM EDT
[#5]
I wholeheartedly agree with that and adults can schedule time for it but should something pop up that the children need, they come first. That's always been a problem with me and the husband is that there was no time set aside just for us when someone responsible was available to watch the chlidren. I'm sure she wouldn't have a problem scheduling time for just her and him either though. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 4:22:22 PM EDT
[#6]
I kid comment was about how some single moms start dating a guy and by the third date, the're bringing the kids along and very soon start expecting the guy they are dating to act like a surrogete dad. That is totally inapropriate. And I see it all of the time. Zen |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 4:30:12 PM EDT
[#7]
Sounds great if you want to be raising teenagers when you should be retired with the difficulties of parenting in the rearview mirror. That is harsh, but it seems to describe the situation a number of my friends are finding themselves in in their 50's and 60's. (That is, raising teens when they should be enjoying life more.) I don't envy them a bit. It sounds like you've done your duty with your own kids and grandkids and you should be proud of that.
I'm not a big fan of "entitlement", but those two children of your lady friend deserve a dad who's actively engaged in their lives and who will love/discipline them. You deserve a time in your life to enjoy the fruit of your many years of labor. If you think those two are compatable, go for it. If not, break the date and flee the temptation . In any event, I hope things work out for the best for all concerned. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 4:33:30 PM EDT
[#8]
If my child has a father I don't expect anyone else to act as a surrogate. If my children never see their father and the man I am deeply involved in (I'm talking extreme months to years of involvement) wishes to assume the roll I see no problem with it. On the other hand I also feel it's important that the children meet a romantic interest if you consider making it a serious relationship. Otherwise, I agree it's inappropriate to expect so much from someone like that. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 4:41:47 PM EDT
[#9]
Quoted:
Eric, when she stated she missed you, you should have taken control of the situation and turned the tables on her. exactly...do a Han Solo and say "I know"... |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 4:50:32 PM EDT
[#10]
If you can get some pie off her without any emotional attachment then by all means go for it.
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Posted: 9/29/2004 4:54:34 PM EDT
[#11]
Eric,
Stay out of the bedroom with her. You do NOT want to be her banker or inherit all the insanity of her past mistakes UNLESS you truly LOVE her, not lust after her, but LOVE her, as in step in front of a bullet for her sort of thing. I'd say you are a long way off from that based on what you have written so far. Right now you sound more lonely and maybe a bit horny. Considering that she broke it off over a timetable, I'd say you BOTH need some real time to work things out in your heads and hearts before trying it again, IF you try it again. Resisting the temptation to get some warm and fuzzy time in is gonna be harder than hades, but...the ability to resist temptations that may not be good for us both from a practical stance and from a moral and ethical stance is what makes us moral human beings. As a new Mason, consider what the precepts of your order would have to say on the subject and take that as a guide to your personal behavior. Then consider what Jesus would say on the subject and take that as priority one. You already know the answer, it's just HARD. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 4:59:19 PM EDT
[#12]
Damn, ETH. I am thinking I should start looking at law school.
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Posted: 9/29/2004 4:59:24 PM EDT
[#13]
Holy smokes SGatr15, that was cold....... And bloody fucking spot on. EricTheHun If you love this girl, get on with it and be fucking happy. If you don't, get on with finding another girl. In any event, take off the sundress and hit the range with 1000 rounds.  |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 5:00:27 PM EDT
[#14]
Isn't that reason enough to tell her to piss off? |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 5:06:29 PM EDT
[#15]
You see Eric, it doesn't matter if you love her or how much you love her. What it important here is how much she loves you. If she loved you as you loved her, would she have dumped you the way she did? Would you have done that to her? I bet you would never have treated her the way she has treated you. Seems like a pretty shallow reason to dump you. And it proves to me she was using you. Do you want to be in an unequal relationship like this? With someone who doesn't care for you the way you care for her? With someone who will dump you and break your heart at a whim because she doesn't care for you like she should? You should find someone who cares for your heart the way you do for hers. Your feelings in this matter aren't the ones you should be looking at. It is her feelings you should be scrutinizing. If you let this user back into your life, it will only be the first step on the road to pain. Zen "This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine" |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 5:15:59 PM EDT
[#16]
hmmm.
Well she's probably figured out you were serious about the pressuring she did. So she might back off on that a bit now. She's 24. Law down the law about engagment and marriage if you two are starting over. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 5:30:21 PM EDT
[#17]
Eric.
My GF of 4 1/2 years left at the beginning of this month. She will be 25 this January. I will be 48 this November. We had the identical outlook on life, same goals, same dreams. Somewhere along the line all that stopped mattering to her and she now "needs to make it on her own", hence I'm continuing on my path while she is eeking by in a small 1 bedroom apartment on her own. We are still friends. This circumstance may be a bit different than yours but the fickelness of youth is the same. Someone that young WILL change. Someone that young WILL decide that a different path in their lives will be the right one to take. I knew in my heart that when we began that if ANYTHING would cause us to break up, it would be that journey from youth to adulthood on her part. I've been around the block enough to have a far clearer idea of what I'd like to be doing with my life. Someone in their 20's doesn't. While your ex-GF is looking for a particular mate at this stage of life, that WILL change as her kids grow. While enjoyable now, can you really tell us with all honesty that, given your age, you'll be willing to deal with the changes that this relationship will undergo, because of her needs, 1, 2 or 5 years from now? If you can honestly answer "yes" to that, you're a bigger and better man than I am. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 5:36:40 PM EDT
[#18]
Tough one Friend! but if you both still have feelings and were not at a same point relationship wise, a seperation might have been good. I would talk honest with hert, see if you both miss each other for the same reasons and if anything...go at the speed your heart tells you. One thing Iam certain is you are agentleman and wouyld not hurt anyone.
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Posted: 9/29/2004 5:43:29 PM EDT
[#19]
Thats cause you got all them dolls and probably a few more you haven't told us about. 
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:14:35 PM EDT
[#20]
I understand that it can hurt, but it is time to move on. I also know that it is hard to say no and that that feel of longing is hard to resist, but time will ease that. I can tell you that from experience with a younger woman.
The way she pressured you over a short time line is a warning flag. Something here is wrong and is not healthy . Returning will only give opportunity to further problems. Friend, keep on looking. When the right woman comes along, it will all seem easy by comparison. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:16:18 PM EDT
[#21]
I haven't read through the whole post, but I had to rebut this. WRONG Your MATE comes first, then the children. It is a given that the two parents together hold children as a priority. But your mate MUST come first, because keeping the family unit intact is predicated on this, and keeping the husband and wife together is at the top of "important things to do" for the children. Priority list should look like this: God Wife/Husband Kids family If you don't believe in God, then this: Wife/Husband Kids Family Some people think it should be this: Kids Wife/Husband Family Or, Kids Family Wife/Husband Either way is still wrong. The best chance for raising children safely and successfully is through an intact original family unit. The way to do that is to put God first, then your mate, then your kids. Again, if you don't believe in God, leave Him out. But my point is the same. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:20:47 PM EDT
[#22]
Awww fuck, I just agreed with the town fool on a serious subject, shoot me now.......  You are right on the money with that one sarge. Guys that feel less manly without some poontang at their beck and call drive me nuts. Don't be a slave to your dick! [Ladies Man]You cannot blame the wang[/LadiesMan] |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:21:06 PM EDT
[#23]
If I recall it was "As your lawyer I recommend you take these two pills and call me in the morning" RIght?? SGatr15 |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:23:12 PM EDT
[#24]
Yes, lovely Annette, the 26 year old Latina! She and I are still dating...a lot. But I haven't really pushed the relationship any harder than it already is. I might just be bringing lovely Annette to Gunstock! Although she has the usual (or so I've found) Hispanic chick antipathy towards firearms!
That's precisely what she wants, and it is precisely what we have discussed a million times. Makes me no nevermind, as we say in West Texas. With what she has to offer me, is more than sufficient to what I have to offer her. A little quid pro quo, tit for tat, if you know what I mean.
I've been through enough romances to make Zsa Zsa blush, and handled as many divorces as there are Nascar fans in Georgia, so I'm not much of an idiot about women. Just this woman!
Done!
Nope, I won't be anyone's second choice, for certain. What I bring to the table is at least as valuable as a perfect 10, size 4 figure, with an ex-husband-paid-for enhanced bosom, and greenish-blue eyes.
Actually, I love the enhanced bosom aspect of the young lady. Especially since I didn't pay for it and they've 'settled' by now. Eric The(StillAHorn-DogAtHeart)Hun 
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:24:58 PM EDT
[#25]
May we see a picture of the young lady?
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:25:03 PM EDT
[#26]
With all due respect ETH. It sounds like she wants a Daddy for her kids and for herself.
If you want a stable non-marriage relationship you will need an older woman. SGatr15 |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:30:37 PM EDT
[#27]
ETH,
For what it's worth, I suggest you be very careful. She definitely wanted to play the field. If she didn't, she would have never left. Now she wants back, she found the grass isn't necessarily greener. The problem is, it sounds like she isn't old enough to truly learn that lesson. I predict that she will fall back into that trap again if you rekindle the relationship, even if you do get married. Marriage doesn't seem to mean much to a lot of people anymore. If she was older, I would say there is a better chance that she may have learned something from her exodus. I will repeat the advice I was given when my wife left me: It is stupid to love someone, who won't love you back. You have much more to give to this girl than she to you, and also much more to lose. The odds are stacked against you, and just by telling us her situation, I can tell that a man of your intelligence, wisdom, faith, and wealth (emotionally and financially) could likely do much better. A relationship with a girl like sounds like it would be quite a one way street. Find a woman you can be on more of an equal footing with as a person. Might I suggest that you stay away from the phone, turn it over to God in prayer, and wait on the Lord? |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:41:19 PM EDT
[#28]
And for my serious reply to Eric.......
If you get back together, you are inviting disaster. Steel yourself against this! To me it sounds like you find her appealing for the wrong reasons (marriage wise anyway), i.e. attending social functions (trophy wife), beautiful, big boobies.....yadayada. These are not reasons to marry someone. Especially someone who wants to marry you for the reasons she does. You are a PERSON, not a bank account/security blanket. Thats what she should love. Marriages aren't business arrangments. Not a slot machine either (what I get is worth what I had to give/provide). Move on. No shortage of hotties for you now, you old horndog. Don't let this one break your heart again, when it sounds as though her best qualities are horizontal ones. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:49:07 PM EDT
[#29]
Nope. You guessed wrong on this one, Brother ZEN. I was hurt when we decided to break it off, but, according to her girlfriends at work...it's amazing what ladies will tell on each other...she missed almost a week of work. Her girlfriends all like me, so they tell me everything. I just haven't asked since we broke up back in July. They call me at my office, though, since my title company handles closings for their bank.
Why? I'm not afraid of her....why shouldn't I talk to her?
Well, since I don't consider myself to have been 'dumped' in this case, I will take your advice at face value. It depends upon the girl. I was 'dumped' by the last Ex-Miz Hun, and I still continue to give her things. And she still continues to give me things, as well. "Once you've had the Hun, You're never done' is my motto. And hers.
That's what I was doing with the two 20 year olds, the 21 year old, the other 24 year old, and, now, the 26 year old - playing games with women. And I play well with others.
Thanks, but no thanks. I would rather exprerience life to the fullest, with all of the bumps and grinds, and inevitable disappointments, than listen to the ramblings of someone else's views taken from their own miasmic world view of women.
My, my, is that from the ASKMEN.com website? Sorry, but there is no such thing as a cookie cutter one-size-fits-all approach to love. The girl is delightful, and the children, while not a plus, are surely not sufficiently negatives that would make me think twice about it. The last Ex-Miz Hun had two children from a previous marriage that I was proud to raise and their children call me 'Granddaddy' still! I would never say no to marriage with a young lady over something so shallow and vapid as the fact that the young lady had children from a previous marriage or relationship.
Wow, if we were playing baseball, you've just gone down swinging. The young lady in question works at a bank that my title company represents on occasion. I met her at a Garland Chamber of Commerce meeting in mid-June at the Outback Steakhouse on President Bush Turnpike in Plano, Texas. She was introduced to me by the President of the bank where she works. I bought her a Down Under Rita, frozen, no salt, and we were infatuated with each other to begin dating within the week.
Uh....yes. She does. As do I. As did every woman that I've ever met, including my mother, sister, and aunts, and both the Ex-Miz Huns. As do my daughter and granddaughter.
Well, I do have some money, and I've never been miserly with any of the ladies, including my mother, sister, aunts, et al.
Quite possibly, as I was likewise using her.
Well, I haven't talked to any of her girfriends over the past month, but I think IF she had started dating again, I would surely have heard about it from them! But maybe it's a big conspiracy, and they have kept her new status hush-hush from me. You think? Hah-hah! Then it's YOU who don't know women, my friend!
If she offers what she offered in the past, i think it's a very good bargain. A very fine bargain.
Nonsense.
Thank you, but I don't believe that this young lady has shown me that she is unworthy of me, at all.
Thank you so very much! Eric The(WellCentered)Hun
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:55:09 PM EDT
[#30]
You sound like my cousin, also a lawyer. He liked being married but two women so far have taken advantage of this. His present wife is 10 years younger so not such a big difference. No kids even with science. Still I can see that guys like you are attractive to a wide range for an equally wide range of reasons. Can't blame her if she wants security and a future for her kids that's better than she's had. Dr. Laura would probably tell her to concentrate on the kids so it's important to see how she is doing that or is she sacrificing their lives to get her own in better order.
Tough call, 24 is pretty young nowadays, kids or not. Doesn't look any better than 50/50 to me. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 6:55:22 PM EDT
[#31]
Well, for what it's worth, her two kids were never an issue with us. Her mother lives about two miles from her apartment and whenever I'm coming over, or we have a date, her mother cares for the children. Sorry, but children are a treasure in my world and I would never become involved with a woman who didn't put her children before any other concern. Eric The(Paternalistic)Hun
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:03:35 PM EDT
[#32]
What happened? Did the next guy get tired of her shit too?
Run, Forest, Run!! Bob |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:04:07 PM EDT
[#33]
Man. I didn't realize that ARFCOM has a lot Ann Landers and Dan Landers here.
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:06:17 PM EDT
[#34]
I had already moved on, by the time I received the phone call this afternoon. If for no other reason, I am flattered that a good looking 24 year old still remembers my number!
It was disquieting to say the least, but thoroughly understandable from her point of view.
It could be. That's why I kept my appointments for this evening and didn't rush off for a few hours of physical bliss.
Well, at the very worst another emotionally charged breakup. And I have gotten used to that in my life. Unfortunately.
I am. I'm calling up lovely Annette tomorrow for a date this Thursday-Friday! Eric The(MyOvernighterIsPacked)Hun
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:11:15 PM EDT
[#35]
Hmm, there's nothing in your quite well-reasoned post that addresses my need for a pretty young thing with whom to spend the twilight years of the remainder of my life. If the young lady happens to have children, it is NOT my first wish, but it is NOT a disqualifier by any means. Eric The(BetterLateThanNever)Hun
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:17:25 PM EDT
[#36]
Hmmm. I suppose so. I have posted a few on the Board in the past and took all of them down from the Server when we broke up in July. There is one left on the AR15.com photo server, though.  This pic was taken in front of the Texas Land & Cattle Company steakhouse on Hwy 75 in Plano, Texas. When I saw her girlfriend begin taking pictures, I attempted to pull the young lady's pants off. She was attempting to pull mine off when this particular pic was snapped. Hey, what do you think of the '70 pounds lighter' Hun? Thank you Dr Atkins wherever you are! Eric The(IncrediblyShrinking)Hun
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:23:10 PM EDT
[#37]
Duh! No shiite Sherlock! And all I'm looking for is a sweet piece of yummy PIE! And the problem with either of our desires is......?
I know precisely what a stable relationship with this young lady would require...and I'm not ready for marriage at this point in my life. If she can accept that, then giddyyap go! If she can't, then giddyyap gone! Eric The(Simple,Eh?)Hun |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:23:46 PM EDT
[#38]
wow, teach me the way O great one! ( I could appreciate a ~24yo hottie)
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:28:26 PM EDT
[#39]
Just don't take any of the advice given here to heart and you will do great! I know that matters of the heart are a very difficult issue to give advice on in the first place. There are as many variations in such matters as there are hearts in the universe. And there are very few general principles. Eric The(Philosophical)Hun
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:29:52 PM EDT
[#40]
I was a bankable commodity that could be reasonably counted to take care of her and her two children. We have a winner. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:30:12 PM EDT
[#41]
DOH!!!!!!!!!
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:33:11 PM EDT
[#42]
Pussy is sweet, so is honey.
Beat your meat and save your money... |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:36:26 PM EDT
[#43]
Bahhhhh !!! Thought that WAS the "Lovely Latina Annette" Sorry,... Just NOT possible to form any sort of opinion without a pic of the competition Get back to us
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:49:28 PM EDT
[#45]
Brother mojo! You've been here a month longer than I have, and you must surely know that this Board is a sounding board for all sorts of personal griefs, triumphs, epiphanies, defeats, agonies, and highs! Ann Landers got NOTHING on the General Discussion Board, baybee! Eric The(Dignified,ButOnlyToAPoint)Hun
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:58:05 PM EDT
[#46]
Post from JB69 -
Naw, strangely enough, I don't have a pic of 'Lovely Latina Annette', as yet! But I will make certain to take one this weekend, or tomorrow night, or whenever. I have a few pics of the 24 year old, with a Hun Farm t-shirt on, in bed. Shall we have one of Lovely Latina Annette in similar en deshabille condition? Dream on! 
There may be one of us together at Gunstock ~ stay tuned! Eric The(PlayingTheLatinFieldsPresently)Hun
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Posted: 9/29/2004 8:02:02 PM EDT
[#47]
You HAVE lost weight! (probably even more than that, since that's not a recent picture)
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Posted: 9/29/2004 8:02:25 PM EDT
[#48]
Thanks, Hellboy! I concur wholeheartedly. Eric The(GratefulAsAlwaysForThatWhichWeAreAboutToReceive)Hun
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Posted: 9/29/2004 8:05:29 PM EDT
[#49]
I told y'all I would! It helps when you are chasing some pretty young things around the MetroPlex to have your traps as well oiled and prepared as possible. And dropping 70 pounds is always a good idea! Eric The(IncrediblyShrinking)Hun
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And you're obviously not an idiot about women..