By Brian K. White

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Penny King has only worked at Central Fabrication & Machining since last Monday but has already managed to draw admirers throughout the small company. Though not interested in dating anyone in her workplace, Ms. King has definitely drawn physical attention from coworkers.

"Dude, I'd F the S out of her. I'd F her hard, man," said Jimmy from warehouse. "She's got tight T and A. Gawd, I can just imagine what her V is like." Jimmy visibly drifted off a moment imagining the scenario and clearly enjoying the fantasy.

Human Resource director Cheri Allen admits, "We never should have hired her. She does good work but all the guys stare at her fantasizing about F'ing her and C'ing all over her T's."

While the consensus among shipping workers is that they want to F her up the A until she Os, most of the salesmen just wanter her to S their Cs, Ds, PRs and BSs, Bs or Ns, depending on who answered (though all indicating the same kibbles and/or bits).

The three senior directors of the company were split with their fantasies. One said he'd been preoccupied with obtaining a BJ, another an HJ, while the third, a female wanted only an RJ, which visibly disturbed the other two nearby directors, one of whom offered, "Yuck, you got her there, go for the G-spot not the A-spot."

While the middle-aged divorcee ladies of customer (dis)service debate whether Penny is a real B or pretty much a C, all of them are at AA during lunch when most of the awkward behavior takes place. "She probably has an H disease," reported one.

Ms. King claims no awareness of why she's so coveted but regretfully reports, "These guys are too tame for me anyhow. I like to take MDMA or LSD and get into some light S&M or B&D. My DM would laugh his A off if he knew these F'ers wanted to C on me with their blue-collared PPs."

While it's completely unclear what this article is about, one thing is certain, despite Ms. King and her coworkers accounts of her being total fabrications I just invented in the last hour, she will certainly be the object of this reporter's fantabation tonight.


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F the S out of her V

Could you stop with the worthless "news" posts, please?

Quoted: Could you stop with the worthless "news" posts, please?