THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL
The following is an actual question given on a
university of Washington chemistry mid term. The
answer by one student was "so profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues,
via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure
of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law,(gas cools off when it expands and
heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass
of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate that
souls are moving into Hell and the rate
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world
today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of
these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially
Now, we look at the rate of change
of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand proportionately as
souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature &
pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate
faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
Morrison, during my freshman year, "...that it will be
a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations
with her, then :
#2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and will not freeze.