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Posted: 8/26/2004 4:10:58 PM EDT
[#1]
YOUR failed marriage
which one? why did it end? she wanted more money. how long did it last? the first one...9 months. did you see it coming? nope. i was too busy having fun. should you have? dunno. don't care. could it have been made to work? no. it takes two to tango. are you amazed it lasted as long as it did? no. time flies when you are having fun. what did you do to try and save it? not a damn thing other than start dating an old flame. that didn't work. oh well. |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 4:51:14 PM EDT
[#2]
From my other thread http://www.jobrelatedstuff.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=258343 It lasted 5 years I suspected it was coming never could have worked after what she did to me I was not really surprised it lasted as long as it did cause I always tried to make it work Tried to save it many times when she went crazy, and I finally gave up on her |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 4:54:12 PM EDT
[#3]
why did it end? It became too tiring to deal with her BS.
how long did it last? 6.5 years did you see it coming? Yes. should you have? HELL yes. could it have been made to work? I doubt it. Only one of us (me) wanted it to. are you amazed it lasted as long as it did? HELL yes. what did you do to try and save it? Everything short of suicide, and even that, almost. |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 4:55:11 PM EDT
[#4]
Sounds vaguely familiar! 
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Posted: 8/26/2004 4:57:38 PM EDT
[#5]
She fucked somebody else and yes I saw it coming.
Tried to save it, didnt work. I got the house and the cat. Bitch was stupid. Her best friend took the guy from her. Karma is a bitch. |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 5:01:03 PM EDT
[#6]
You don't even want to know...
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Posted: 8/26/2004 5:13:21 PM EDT
[#7]
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Posted: 8/26/2004 5:14:13 PM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 8/26/2004 5:16:42 PM EDT
[#9]
The relationship had degenerated to that of bad roommates after only a year. It got to the point of literally months between sex. I was miserable because I was unwilling to cheat on her, so I bailed to look for something fulfilling.
I stuck with it for 6 long years.
Yep, it "came up" fairly often and more than once I told her that if things didn't change, I was outta there.
That depends on your definition of "work". We certainly could've stayed bad roommates, but that's not my idea of marriage. I'm much happier single than I was after our first year and I still believe I can find the ideal marriage.
Not amazed, regretful. Life is too short and I stuck with it for too long.
Marriage counseling about 14 months in. I went to the guy with an open mind, but after he told her that my sexual urges were not her problem, I walked out of his office and never went back. Some marriage counselor...he had just sealed the deal on our split. |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 5:21:18 PM EDT
[#10]
why did it end?
she fucked her supervisor how long did it last? ~12yrs. did you see it coming? no should you have? no could it have been made to work? with kids sometimes you try the extreme are you amazed it lasted as long as it did? no what did you do to try and save it? too much, glad I got over it - very fucking glad! |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 5:22:28 PM EDT
[#11]
why did it end? She was jealous of my computers, a spendy wench, nuts, and oh yeah had a kid that demanded that she sleep with it instead.
how long did it last? a year did you see it coming? kinda, knew it was time when she started deleting names out of my phone. should you have? yeah she was nuts. could it have been made to work? Nope, she drove me into the arms of another friskier woman. are you amazed it lasted as long as it did? yup what did you do to try and save it? Nothing, any woman who does not like computers does not need to be around me. |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 5:22:46 PM EDT
[#12]
Same here. |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 6:00:25 PM EDT
[#13]
Fuck it . We have been divorced for years . She is still trying to fuck with me because wehave a daughter together , but I even though I might not have all of the money I had , and I put up with a whole bunch of shit regarding my daugher , I still came out ahead . |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 6:01:40 PM EDT
[#14]
for you sexless marriage guys.........................
was it like that way to start or did she continually regress into asexuality? |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 6:07:11 PM EDT
[#15]
My wedding night involved travel for over two hours. When we arrived, I wanted to take a shower, and did so. When I emerged (at age 19, after waiting for marriage for sex) my new bride wanted to finish what she was watching on television before engaging. From the start, "foreplay" consisted of approx. two months of begging--and I was a horny 19 y/o.  Edited to add: I no longer post about my present situation, as the Mid MO guys kept making comments about my impending "accident" and how they were going to split up my guns and play poker for my wife. Bastards all. 
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Posted: 8/26/2004 6:12:10 PM EDT
[#16]
And once again Arfcom helps convince me that I have NO desire to EVER get married.
I should save links to all of these divorce threads - and if I ever start getting the nesting urge - I can just start reading them again! |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 6:25:49 PM EDT
[#17]
why did it end? -- Both in the military we were together 11 months out of 3+ years. how long did it last? -- 3 Years and 6 months did you see it coming? -- Sure should you have? -- could it have been made to work? -- Not without one of us giving up their career. are you amazed it lasted as long as it did? -- No, we were both independent people what did you do to try and save it? -- Talked to detailer about coolocation - no joy Divorce was mutually agreed upon, cost was split and we both are still best friends. Reading about all the other divorces here on ARFCOM, I have the sudden urge to fly up to my woman, fall down on my knees and thank her for being such a great ExWife. Fritz |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 6:41:30 PM EDT
[#18]
1- I didn't get out when I had the chance.
2- too much pride, I didn't want to be a failure... I failed, I was a failure for not doing what's right. 3- you can take the woman out of a white-trash zone, but you can't take the white trash out of them. 4- the longer you stay in a marraige thats not working, the more it will cost you! I've learned alot from my experince, I'm very choosy and intolerant of stupid crap. (I'll drop bad womenz like a hessie receiver) THINK about what you're doing, a piece of pie isn't worth the stupid shit we men do. |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 6:41:54 PM EDT
[#19]
1. Her actions 2. 5 Years 3. Yes, but not the way she carried it out in the end. 4. NOBODY should have to endure what has happened to me over the last year. 5. We tried (more like I tried) for 5 years. 6. Everything and then some. If I have my way, she will end up serving time. 'nuff said - won't talk about it again 'til its over. |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 7:08:15 PM EDT
[#20]
Wise words from Red_5!
+1 |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 7:36:14 PM EDT
[#21]
Started out OK, the first year. Then started sliding downhill. The fifth year was once every six months. |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 7:41:07 PM EDT
[#22]
<--- Goes to get beer(s)x12+ 44
Semper Fi |
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Posted: 8/26/2004 7:51:56 PM EDT
[#23]
Which one you want to talk about - there's been three.
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Posted: 8/26/2004 7:54:16 PM EDT
[#24]
Ok...(head hung low)not proud of it, but it if stops someone else from the same mistake....
why did it end? I drank too much how long did it last? 14yrs did you see it coming? yes should you have?yes could it have been made to work? Maybe if I quit drinking sooner are you amazed it lasted as long as it did?In retrospect, I'd have kicked my butt our a lot sooner what did you do to try and save it?Don't remember. Probably got drunk. |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 3:48:59 AM EDT
[#25]
why did it end?
I was taking care of EVERYTHING while he was underway and he wasn't pitching it anymore when he got home i.e. "I didn't pick up any dog food like you asked because I don't know what kind you want." Um... read the bag next to the dogs' bowls.  Final straw was when I got out and started making good money. He said he would be willing to get out of the service and stay home. I said, "So we'll have children and you can be a stay at home dad?" Him: "No... I really don't want kids. I just want to stay home while you work."  how long did it last? Four years.... almost 5 1/2 after the divorce was final. He was a freaking martyr during the divorce.... I took all the debt minus one card and still had to cut him a hefty check. He took everything that wasn't nailed down.. I had to sit on the floor for months until I saved up for a couch. did you see it coming? He used to say early on that he could see me leaving him. I think it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.... he told me later that he didn't want to try very hard because he was worried that I would make him look like a fool if I cheated or left him. Irony is we were friends first and he KNEW that I have never nor would ever cheat on someone. should you have? Yep. Some of the same stuff that happened while we were dating and almost broke us up continued to hurt the relationship after we were married. People don't change but I was too young to know that. could it have been made to work? I don't think so. Too young. Too insecure. Too much hurt. Too much anger. are you amazed it lasted as long as it did? No... because I bent myself into a pretzel trying to figure out how to make that man happy. Took me 2 1/2 years to "straighten" out afterwards...  what did you do to try and save it? Counseling. Should have been a clue when we were discussing a fight we had with the counselor. He was on 30 days leave and I was running late for muster so I asked him to clean the litter box. I got home and he had fielddayed the apartment... top to bottom. NEVER touched the litter box. When asked why by the counselor he said he didn't want to be controlled. I actually loved being married... the idea of having someone in your corner, the same person to come home to. The only reason I will EVER get married again is to have kids.... a family. Other than that a piece of paper and a ring won't make me more committed or faithful and it's just a financial pain in the ass to dissolve. 
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Posted: 8/27/2004 3:54:17 AM EDT
[#26]
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Posted: 8/27/2004 4:03:58 AM EDT
[#27]
NOOOOOOOoooooooooo.......... |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 4:11:25 AM EDT
[#28]
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Posted: 8/27/2004 4:55:30 AM EDT
[#29]
I had two boys with my nutzo - "the boys are a string I can ALWAYS pull you by!" Boys now 22 and soon 20, I refuse to talk with her now OR accept her calls - once the younger turns 21   !!! I was / am as involved with my boys as much as they will let me. They don't know how lucky they really are. Maybe some day before I am dead they will know that. |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 5:34:46 AM EDT
[#30]
why did it end? Because she found a boyfriend and left. She was a headcase. I was less than a great husband; I could not deal with her insanity. Think of PMS x 1000.
how long did it last? WAY TOO LONG. 1st time 2 years. 2nd time 8. (Knew the 2nd time was a mistake within a year.) did you see it coming? Yes, but I think of marriage as forever. should you have? Yes could it have been made to work? No. Should have run years earlier. are you amazed it lasted as long as it did? Yes what did you do to try and save it? Everything, including things I am not proud of. Kiss ass, give up my interests to cater to her, counseling (BIG mistake) married her a second time. (Yea, it says IDIOT on my forehead!!!) Been divorced 19 years. Highly unlikely to ever stick my head in the marriage noose again. I for sure was not blameless but she was a headcase. Before we married, her dad warned me that if she were to appear in his court he would commit her for treatment. I asked why he had not done so as a parent. Said her mother was just as bad and he valued his job too much to endure the scandal. (ie, HE was less than perfect as well!) He was a very sad and bitter man and I see why. Kinda felt sorry for him. |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 6:09:06 AM EDT
[#31]
Its good to hear it from both sides of the fence.....It helps!
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Posted: 8/27/2004 6:31:26 AM EDT
[#32]
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Posted: 8/27/2004 6:38:39 AM EDT
[#33]
Not married yet, but lived together for a few years. She was determined to be unhappy; too much princess shit in a young gals head. When she cares about the ice makers portion of the electric bill, hates her job but refuses to even apply for another or take up my offer to go jobless a while to clear her head while I support her, and her dog likes me better... I never loved her, she loved me, I tried to make it work since I saw more potential than reality. See it coming? Several hundred dollars changed hands in my neighborhood when I moved as a betting pool had been going for months. Now I have several households to visit with good women (who know each other), good kids to play with, and a fine holding pattern until a keeper somehow happens. |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 8:21:34 AM EDT
[#34]
One of the best ideas I have heard of. |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 8:33:08 AM EDT
[#35]
Keep in mind there ARE marraiges that work. We married in 1992, had some problems when wife found out she could not have kids, but are just fine now. There are more upsets on the horizion, (Wife's health problems) But we'll get thru those too.
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Posted: 8/27/2004 8:41:46 AM EDT
[#36]
Several hundred dollars changed hands in my neighborhood when I moved as a betting pool had been going for months.
tell me about it! i had you leaving on thursday afternoon at 4pm. cost me $20! why couldn't you have held out for two more days, damnit?!?! |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 9:11:13 AM EDT
[#37]
She cheated on me. She met a guy over the internet, made up excuses to go meet him at a hotel in Tahoe. Actually new him about two hours before sucking him off. I'm still a little bitter. LOL! We were married for 17 years. Two beautiful kids who are now taking it remarkably well. I never suspected a thing, I trusted her. I guess that I should have seen it coming but I really did trust her. I tried individual and couples counseling. I moved out. I moved back in. I foolishly tried to make it work anyway that I possibly could. I didn't know or suspect it but she was lying to me and continued her online affair with the turd. She filed for divorce. We will be final on 9/11. Oh well. She called me up a few weeks ago and said that she wants to try to get back together with me. As much as I want to do it, I told her no. Turns out that her "romance" with the asshole didn't quite work out the way she planned. She......caught him cheating!!! LMAO!!! Karma's a bitch! Edited to add that I still believe that marriage is a great thing. I loved being married. I do not know if I will ever do it again though. |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 9:25:49 AM EDT
[#38]
Close, was a Wed morning. And the single gal with the "I take candy from strangers" bumper sticker on her Cavalier won the pot. I was told months after moving that many noted the loud discussions, followed by quiet, followed by me walking the dog. Either I needing harping to do my share of doggy care, or I was moving out. |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 9:33:33 AM EDT
[#39]
why did it end? She was sleeping with someone at work (I assume that, she is married to him now). I was the degree husband, he is the house husband. how long did it last? 4 years total of eight did you see it coming? Nope, absolutely blind should you have? No way could it have been made to work? Nope, one weekend and it was OVER are you amazed it lasted as long as it did? no I wanted forever what did you do to try and save it? Nothing, I just got a new apartment THAT day and moved I traded up!!!!!! |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 1:11:45 PM EDT
[#40]
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Posted: 8/27/2004 3:54:23 PM EDT
[#41]
Being married and divorced are just like being in the Military and Combat!!
Either you have been or you have not!!! There is nothing anybody can tell you to prepare you for what you are about to experience,and no two peoples experience will be the same!!! But we can post the same kind of feelings that we have experienced through it all!! I've been married and divorced twice,and am still young(59) but really would hope that I never go through that again!!! I feel like Grouco Marx any body that would really want me for a mate,I wouldn't want anything to do with! Bob |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 4:06:50 PM EDT
[#42]
I really don't know. 14yrs, & 2weeks. I kinda saw it coming but I was still caught off gaurd. I should have been more aware of the situation. Yes it could have been, but she wouldn't let it. I'm not amazed. I had planed to be married to her till I died, & I would never have left her, or cheated on her. To bad she can't say the same.h I was in shock for the 1st 3 days or so, & then the tears started, now I'm doing all right most of the time. I cried the other night on the way to work when a country song about "There was this man, & there was this woman" came on & ruind my ride to work. Hard not to cry at some things. Random things set me off now, & I never know where I will be whipping my eyes, & nose. It truly sucks big time, to be the one left behind. |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 4:19:46 PM EDT
[#43]
why did it end?She moved out and in with her boyfriend rather than try to work things out
how long did it last?11 years 10 months too long did you see it coming?knew something was up but didn't think she had a boyfriend should you have?was too blinded by trying to do the right thing could it have been made to work?not unless she got years of intense therapy are you amazed it lasted as long as it did?do now what did you do to try and save it?tried marriage counseling for the last 6 months, guess it made her decide to move in with her boyfriend wganz ¶ |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 5:05:51 PM EDT
[#45]
LIved with her for 2 years before getting married. She changed as soon as we got married.The marriage lasted a year One big issue was that I wasn't able to discipline her kids. I would tell them to do something and they would turn and ask her if they had to. She was 10 years older than I was, and although the gap wasn't something we always thought about, there were times when it reared its head. One issue was that I was husband number 4 for her. She went on to at least one more failed marriage, and as a friend told me afterwards, anyone who is on spouse number 4 isn't as likey to put as much effort into making things work as they might with spouse 1 or 2. Once it was over, it was over. Split up and were better friends than spouses. Marriage number two has had some problems, much of which has been related to her use of depo provera as a method of birth control. Lots of problems which have gone away since she went off the stuff. In general because it is marriage 2 for both of us, we have put a LOT more effort into working out the problems that have cropped up as we mature and change as individuals within a relationship |
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Posted: 8/27/2004 5:07:16 PM EDT
[#46]
Why did it end? I couldn't take it anymore, the credit cards, the staying out, the driving drunk convictions. How long did it last? 7 years #1, 22 years #2 Did you see it coming? Yes, but hoped it would get better. Should you have? Yes Could it have been made to work? Sure, if I kept her in drugs and money and accepted her being gone all the time. Are you amazed it lasted as long as it did? Yes, but 3 kids had to be raised somehow. What did you do to try and save it? Learned to cook quite well, do laundry, pay all the bills, bail her out of jail and took care of her financial problems until the "quicksand" overwhelmed me. I had no idea about her credit cards beforehand, their calls just kept coming as she ignored them! Everyday for years, I had to "field" those threatening calls when she was not home. The years of deceit took it's toll on me and I am still trying to recover, I don't think I ever will. And she still thinks she did nothing wrong! Be wary, she's looking for the next victim! |
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