One way to get the teller at Borders to look at you funny - Page 2

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - One way to get the teller at Borders to look at you funny (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 8/25/2004 7:28:35 PM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
I once bought a Guns & Ammo mag at Barnes & Noble and the
asshat at the register asked me if I was the kind of person who
murdered people.
I just said no.

Should have said no, but I have beat the living shit out of smartasses behind registers.

Posted: 8/25/2004 7:38:37 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I once bought a Guns & Ammo mag at Barnes & Noble and the
asshat at the register asked me if I was the kind of person who
murdered people.
I just said no.

Should have said no, but I have beat the living shit out of smartasses behind registers.

I would have at least got that ass wipe fired.

Posted: 8/25/2004 7:49:52 PM EDT

[#3]

Before I got Shotgun News and YM at Barnes and Noble, every employee there cracked jokes about it

Posted: 8/25/2004 7:52:30 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Hit Borders after work today to pick up some reading material for the ~~bathroom~~ library. The girl at the register kept giving me funny looks as she scanned each item, although I'm not sure why.
This is what I bought

The Horse (underground biker mag0
Iron Works (another biker mag)
Architectural Review

Anthem by Ayn Rand
For Whom the Bell Tolls by Hemmingway
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Basket Case by Carl Hiaasen

I shoulda picked up a rap album while I was at it but I forgot they had CDs upstairs.

I notice that you made proper use of italics and underlining there. Very impressive. Very un-arfcommer-like.

no shit, where's your non grammer?

Posted: 8/25/2004 8:01:25 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Only thing better are the jackoffs at Blockbuster who critique my movie selection.

"Oh good a minimum wage flunkie likes it so I'm sure to enjoy it."

You are not a movie critic, you get paid to put the movie in the bag.

Thank god for Netflix.

You're missing the logic at work behind the commentary.

Quentin Tarantino (sp?) was a video store clerk.

Quentin Tarantino's opinions are valued by vast numbers of people. ()

Therefore, the opinions of video store clerks are valued by vast numbers of people.

I work at a liqour store and sometimes people ask me for recommendations about good types of liqour. And I know dick about alcohol. But last week a lady was "looking for something different" so I told her, "Well, if you want something you can light on fire you could go with Everclear."

Posted: 8/25/2004 8:37:14 PM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
I once bought a Guns & Ammo mag at Barnes & Noble and the
asshat at the register asked me if I was the kind of person who
murdered people.
I just said no.

Response ( to a chick): "Are you a prostitute?"

Response (to a guy): "Are you one of those guys who likes gay sex?"

You also might want to point out their stupidity in pissing off someone who THEY thought to possibly be a murderer.

Posted: 8/25/2004 8:44:18 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
I once bought a Guns & Ammo mag at Barnes & Noble and the
asshat at the register asked me if I was the kind of person who
murdered people.
I just said no.

I just straight faced with this: "No, ma'am. Murderers work for dirty,lying, cheating,criminal organizations. I work for the United States Governmant."

Posted: 8/25/2004 8:47:31 PM EDT

[#8]

Go buy the biggest thing of Vaseline the store has and a Ski mask that will get you a strange look.

Posted: 8/25/2004 8:48:04 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Last time i went to Borders the guy thought i whas ether a Gaurdsman or a crazed milita member, proley becus i got this stuff:
Soldier of Forchen
PC Gamer
SWAT

A History of the Wafen SS
Janes Modern Guns
Janes Modern Fighting Vehicles
and a set of the SAS suvival guides

Music:
Ballads of the Green Berets

You might try picking up a dictionary the next time you visit

Posted: 8/25/2004 8:50:12 PM EDT

[#10]

I think if you had a Maxim in your hand and asked where the vaseline or KY was, you might get a few odd looks. Not that I've ever done this before. Damn perverts.

Posted: 8/26/2004 1:23:30 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Basket Case by Carl Hiaasen

I have read all of Hiaasen's books and have really enjoyed them. I was walking though an airport last week and in a book store I saw that he has another book out, which is still only in hard cover. I will buy it soon.

Unfortunately I hear he's a flaming left winger, but as a native Floridian, his books sure do make me feel good. Now if somebody would just take Tourist Season and use it as a blueprint.....

Posted: 8/26/2004 2:18:07 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I once bought a Guns & Ammo mag at Barnes & Noble and the
asshat at the register asked me if I was the kind of person who
murdered people.
I just said no.

Response ( to a chick): "Are you a prostitute?"

Response (to a guy): "Are you one of those guys who likes gay sex?"

You also might want to point out their stupidity in pissing off someone who THEY thought to possibly be a murderer.

Uhm dude....if he was male...working in a borders around hear, odds are he does like gay sex...hence why I go to barnes and noble three blocks down from borders

Posted: 8/26/2004 2:30:53 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
I once bought a Guns & Ammo mag at Barnes & Noble and the
asshat at the register asked me if I was the kind of person who
murdered people.
I just said no.

I would have said " Why don't you keep flappin your cock hole and find out"

Quoted:
I once bought a Guns & Ammo mag at Barnes & Noble and the
asshat at the register asked me if I was the kind of person who
murdered people.
I said " Why don't you keep flappin your cock hole and find out".

I think it works.

Posted: 8/26/2004 2:48:34 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
I once bought a Guns & Ammo mag at Barnes & Noble and the
asshat at the register asked me if I was the kind of person who
murdered people.
I just said no.

I might have said, in a strange voice that I sometimes used from the Time of the Telemarketers, "No, are making me an offer?"

Posted: 8/26/2004 2:50:54 AM EDT

[#15]

Last week:

1. They Call Me "Tater Salad", DVD, Ron White
2. Four Wheeler Magazine
3. Bach "Goldberg Variations", 1956, Glen Gould. (replaces the cd I "donated" to a poor piano major)

The third one threw the clerk for a loop.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - One way to get the teller at Borders to look at you funny (Page 2 of 2)

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