I may be in fear of having a kidney stolen. (My new disappointment on p.3)

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - I may be in fear of having a kidney stolen. (My new disappointment on p.3) (Page 1 of 4)

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:01:01 AM EDT

The last month or so I've been seeing the same flirty 20-something girl taking money outside the payment window at the McDonald's near my office. I've flirted back, and yesterday she leaned towards my window and told me she was my 'private dancer.' There weren't any cars right behind my truck, and as I slowly rolled toward the payment window she did one of those 'wall dances,' seductively turning and shaking her hair around.

I got to the window and the cutie inside leaned out and holla'd back at her: "Girl, you ain't all that!" Then she looked me dead in the eye and said, "Let me put on my schoolgirl outfit and I'll show you both how it's done."

They both looked at me invitingly, and I had visions of a threesome with two beautiful young women who, except for the fact that they were black, could have been my grandchildren . At 60 years of age I don't have real-life Penthouse Forum fantasies like that pop up every day.

On the one hand, I want to bring them home with me for a night of incredible sexual adventure. I have a good stash of Viagra, and a few toys handy.

On the other hand, I wonder whether they might just want to drug me and remove one of my kidneys, leaving their jobs at McDonald's for a lateral move to Burger King (where I never go.)

Should I take a chance?

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:01:59 AM EDT

[#1]

YOLO

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:03:26 AM EDT

[#2]

You only need one kidney to live right?

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:03:35 AM EDT

[#3]

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:03:40 AM EDT

[#4]

Did the OP get a visit from the Ambien Walrus?

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:03:52 AM EDT

[#5]

Vivid dreams are awesome

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:04:43 AM EDT

[#6]

No. No. NO. HELL TO THE NOOOOOOS

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:04:56 AM EDT

[#7]

Bang them behind the dumpster so they don't know where you live.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:07:16 AM EDT

[#8]

Quote History

Quoted:
Bang them behind the dumpster so they don't know where you live.

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see, GD ALWAYS delivers solid advice.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:08:25 AM EDT

[#9]

Wait! You have toys at home? New in package or used?
That seems weird.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:10:30 AM EDT

[#10]

Everybody needs to have at least one threesome in their life......

Gotta have something to remember when you are old and sipping whiskey in the rocking chair.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:12:24 AM EDT

[#11]

"I need Dollar 50 to make you holler, I get paid to do the wild thing"

Try some:

Tone loc - funky cold medina

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63ZIf2H9S0E

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:12:33 AM EDT

[#12]

They're gonna get in your house and while one is calling you daddy, the other is unlocking the door for their boyfriends who will come in and rob you at least and likely torture you to death.

OR

For a couple hundo bucks you'll get fucked and sucked all night.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:16:53 AM EDT

[#13]

While on trips out of town I've stopped many times for a McMuffin and a coffee at McD's.

I've never run into anything I would want to pile up with working at a McD's. Just my .02

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:18:07 AM EDT

[#14]

What confuses me is why eracer ~~thinks~~ assumes he'd wake up with even one kidney.....

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:19:03 AM EDT

[#15]

As Shawnofthedead would say.....FO!

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:19:06 AM EDT

[#16]

His name was eracer.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:20:42 AM EDT

[#17]

Quote History

Quoted:
As Shawnofthedead would say.....FO!

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Do it!

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:20:53 AM EDT

[#18]

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:21:26 AM EDT

[#19]

Lot of ways that can go wrong. Few ways that can go right.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:21:39 AM EDT

[#20]

FPNI!

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:25:56 AM EDT

[#21]

Quote History

Quoted:
Bang them behind the dumpster so they don't know where you live.

View Quote

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:27:31 AM EDT

[#22]

Old guys can be studs until it's time to do studly stuff! ??????

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:28:14 AM EDT

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:
Bang them behind the dumpster so they don't know where you live.

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I fucking love this place.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:30:38 AM EDT

[#24]

I Am in Love with the Mcdonalds Girl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9DLemzc29o

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:31:05 AM EDT

[#25]

Just think of the beautiful mocha colored babies you could have.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:31:23 AM EDT

[#26]

the next time you visit this mcdonald's....you better get some pics, dammit!

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:32:38 AM EDT

[#27]

OP is 60 and this happened.

Conclusion:

OP was driving a rolls royce.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:35:21 AM EDT

[#28]

Personally, i'd invest in a drum of Plastidip, apply liberally all over my body, then fo.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:35:29 AM EDT

[#29]

Cock says, DO IT!

Brain says, IT'S A TRAP!

Who do you listen to?

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:38:22 AM EDT

[#30]

I doubt the pie is any better than the food there.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:41:05 AM EDT

[#31]

I really really like this feel-good story

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:41:57 AM EDT

[#32]

Quote History

Quoted:
Bang them behind the dumpster so they don't know where you live.

View Quote

And the dumpster will resemble their cardboard box on the sidewalk, so they'll feel at home.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:42:57 AM EDT

[#33]

F5 F5 F5 F5 F5

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:44:43 AM EDT

[#34]

What could possibly go wrong?

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:45:31 AM EDT

[#35]

Quote History

Quoted:
Wait! You have toys at home? New in package or used?
That seems weird.

View Quote

They probably smell like shit.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:46:31 AM EDT

[#36]

Once you go black, you never get your kidneys back.

Or something like that.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:49:22 AM EDT

[#37]

I wouldn't say I'm that classy of a dude but I think even I would turn down a threesome with two hoodrat Mickey D chicks.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:49:32 AM EDT

[#38]

Remember to make your last post "Fuck it I'm Foing!"

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:51:30 AM EDT

[#39]

Quote History

Quoted:
I wouldn't say I'm that classy of a dude but I think even I would turn down a threesome with two hoodrat Mickey D chicks.

View Quote

Depends what they look like.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:53:54 AM EDT

[#40]

Ask yourself what would Frank Reynolds do?

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:57:00 AM EDT

[#41]

OP, two condoms and the Kidney Blocker 2000 and you are good to go.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:57:41 AM EDT

[#42]

Fo OP. You wont be the first ARFCOM I have donated to the Kidney Society for.

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:58:23 AM EDT

[#43]

Quote History

Quoted:

I fucking love this place.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Bang them behind the dumpster so they don't know where you live.

I fucking love this place.

For me, it's the McChicken

Posted: 11/1/2019 10:58:53 AM EDT

[#44]

Taking money outside the payment window? Like the guys at in and out going up the line taking orders?

Gonna need MS paint to help understand.

Posted: 11/1/2019 11:01:14 AM EDT

[#45]

This is when you should throw your inhibitions to the wind.

Take them out for a night.
Get a nice hotel room.
Don't take them to your house, for the love of God fo not take them home.

Romp them both til your heart gives out.