Thats the thing that I think would be the hardest, I know I would probably get pretty damn home sick during boot camp.

Do you just get over it after a while?

I haven't been away from friends for that long so I don't know how I would feel.

Maybe I should take a vacation by myself in the middle of no where. ;)

Letters.

In boot camp, it never crossed my mind as I don't think I ever had time to think about home.

I did miss home the few times I went on deployment. The key is too always be occupied with something, reading, lifting weights, TV....sleeping.

I'm in the Navy and seperation is just a way of life. You become numb to short stints of 5 to 7 days. Two week jaunts suck the most. After about two weeks you normalize being away from your loved ones. You still get homesick now and then, but you get used to living without them.

Letters, phone calls, and emails are a double edged sword. They feel good while you are reading them/talking to them and when you're done the emptiness comes back for a short while.

The best antidote is to keep busy, and when you're not working the horizontal time accelerator (your rack) helps tremendously.

yeah I guess if you are really busy you will hardly think about it, but when you get some free time thats when things go to shit.

[rolleyes]

ooookay.  Your battle buddy must have ended up really strong.

Letters for basic.  That and current news mags if you could get them mailed to you somehow.

It's your job, it shouldn't be an issue.

I went to basic after my first wife and I had ended it, so it wasn't a problem. My current wife tells me that she'll put up with all of the deployments , state duties, AT's, etc, but as soon as I hit my 20 years and get my letter, she says I have to be out. No thirty year guy here. I guess I can do that for her.

  I suspect that the Guard, in the 6 years I have left, will be radically different than the first six years I was in. I dunno how a kid just starting out their first enlistment will make it to 20 without getting at least 4 or 5  Federal activations under their belt. If they wanted to be active THAT much, they'd be better of going Active right out of the starting gate......

Ding Ding Ding


quite frankly, you suck it up. It's sometihng we knew up front. Jsut like all things.....make the best of it.

Like the other posters said suck it up. But if you start to think about it now you will start to worry about you being worried or nervous later, how dumb does that sound!

I would just deal with it day by day.

I am leaving for 14 weeks for basic and there is a pretty good chance that after that I am going to be deployed for a while. I am the kind of person that wants to plan everything out, but when the situation arises I just do my job. So I think I will be ok.

I agree with all of the above, plus heavy doses of whisky seem to help also if you can get it [ROFL]

If you're  a young single guy with no wife or kids then you shouldn't even miss a beat.

When I was a young single Marine I never missed my folks or school friends at all.  I always looked forward to chances to go home, and I enjoyed the time I spent with them, but I can't recall one second that I ever spent pining away for loved ones while I was traing or deployed.  You're going to be too busy doing interesting things of your own to worry about what your Mom is doing at home or to think about how much pussy your buddy is getting or not getting at college.

If you're an older guy with a family it's much tougher.  

Try to include your family in the service and your unit.  The wife and kids should feel that they are part of the service, and that the seperation for deployment is something they are doing for our country, and not something that the Corps/Army/Navy is doing to them.  Military families also serve.

Its also important to communicate with the family as much as possible, by every means you can.  Especially E-mails, calls, etc; because of the real time element involved.

Make sure that your significant other knows how to handle all the responsibilities in your absence.  You don't want to be sitting in the desert worried about whether your young wife has enough sense to keep the car insurance payed up and the lights on.

Mostly you just tough it out and do your duty.

The people making the sacrifices are the kids who have to give up  their Dads for big blocks of their childhood.    Did I mention military families also serve????

Another good piece of advice is this:  if your not an E-5 or higher with more than 6 years of service don't get married.  Never get married because you want to draw the housing allowances and live off base.

The deployments are the best part of military service.  Very few other people are so priveleged as to be the ones who build history.  Live it and love it.

Shiiit. [:)]

Being away was more peaceful alot of the times than my home life is. I really got in more trouble for smiling at the DS's than for anything else because I'm like "You can't phase me, I've been married for ten years!".

Truely, you'll be too busy most of the time to think about such things. For the other times you'll have mail to get you through.

Oh, and spanking the monkey helps alot too.[bounce]

I was single when I was in the military. Hell, it was fun to go places, one of the reasons I joined.  Now? I would cry like a baby!! [>(] LOL! Seriously, mail was like gold on a deployment, everyone looked forward to it! Had a gal who wrote everyday, sometimes the mail would get backed up and I would get 5-7 letters in one mail-call. ahhhh... I can still smell the perfume!

It's just the life you lead. You put yourself into a different world, a different mindset.  Letters, email when you can, but you have to withdraw from all that, and keep your head where you are at: in your military unit on your assignment.

you suck it up and drive on!

basic not enough time to think about home,
school not enough time enjoying some of those lost freedom from basic!

duty station to much freedom after getting off work!

deployed as in combat to much else going on as in keeping your ass down!


but in other down time reading, writing letters, watching tv, or playing spades or hearts!

my family and friends were always right there with me.

Yup.  You make new friends.  The friends I had in the Army are way better than any I had in high school.  I would trust my life to my Army friends.  I did tend to miss Ma and Pa from time to time, but you "suck it up and drive on" as others have said.


The Pig.

Write letters to the family, and make new friends while you're there.

Thats what I've been doing at basic.  Works just fine.  I go back tomorrow... 10 weeks to go.

one word....masterbation

My son got homesick during Basic, but his timing sucked, gone over Christmas and he got Dear John'ed.  Plus he had allergies and sinus infections that for whatever reason (mostly didn't want to be seen as a slacker) he didn't get taken care of adequately.

He has yet to get any deployments, one of his HS classmates in on his second tour to the sand box.  He fears he will be shoveling shit in South Carolina the entire war.

As noted It's your job.  You and your family need to realize that you have taken a job that requires travel and separation.  You and your family need to get to the point real fast that they can do things without you.  If they can't you will get an extra layer of frustrations to deal with, while gone and while back.

If your girl/wife doesn't understand that you are going to be gone your marriage will not last.  It's hard enough being a military wife, even when well adjusted to that world.  If she won't or can't, it's all over.  My brother's wwife couldn't.  She ended up in Japan going to the club every day getting loaded and taking part in the My Husband the Rat he did this to me Club.  Ma Danby, on the other hand, had a 30 year USMC Stepgrandfather, a retired GMC (EOD/Diver) Uncle, and knew what was coming when we began dating in College (me) and HS (her).

I went to Pensacola and she stayed home to finish her degree.  I flunked my fifth Flight Physical (probably should never have gotten into NROTC with a chronic ear drum rupture).  So I spent 8 months waiting for orders, should have been 2 weeks, but that threw a big wrench into any plans we had.  You can't plan if you don't know where you will be. Lots of letters. Then I got orders finally and I ended up 30 miles from home.  Had about 7 months (seeing her very frequently) until we got married and then about 5 months until the ship left the yard.  Then for about 6 months, out Monday back Friday, then operations. Several several week cruises, I spent our first anniversary in Hawaii.  The flower store misdelivered my peace offering over that.  A mini deployment for 4 months back for 3 WesPac for 9 months.  All told our first 2 years of marriage I was gone a cumulative total of 17 months.  I got out, stayed Reserves. 2-3 weeks overseas annually except for 4 schools, one of which I was an Instructor.  After 10 years usually 2 overseas 3 week trips a year.  (I was in a Reserve Community that paarticipated in JCS exercises twice a year, and fell on our anniversary or her birthday and Thanksgiving every year, great timing hunh?) And 11 months overseas for Gulf War 1, leaving when she was 7 months very pregnant with our youngest.  She still speaks to me on occasion, we have been together for 30 years now.  My civilian job had some travel, including a 2 week trip that turned into 3 months in New Jersey.  So I can tell you from many long years of experience, 2 weeks away is a piece of cake.

I missed one boy starting to walk (I was on Guam), a broken arm (I was at White Sands) and a broken ankle (New Jersey).

Learn to write informative and entertaining letters.  DON'T BITCH OR GRIPE IN LETTERS OR PHONE CALLS.  You can solve problems long distance by trying, you can fuck things up pretty easily too.  Lots of letters.

(By the way, drinking your way to fun is not a good idea.)

Remember the old slogan "Join the Navy and See the World."  It was and still is a truism.  If you join the military, your family more or less joins too.  AND you will travel.  If you can't do that. Don't join.

When you get someplace, (assuming a friendly visit) go out and see the world, don't stick to the immediate area and drink.  Check out the historical sites.  In the States visit Civil War or Revolutionary War battlefields, National Parks, anywhere museums, eat on the economy, join activities or clubs.  Don't vegetate.  It can be the greatest thing you ever do, take advantage of what you can. You'll find travel is (usually) exciting but separations aren't.  Just make an effort to enjoy things.  

You will get over it.