Ok I finally met a "normal" girl. Talked to her at church yesterday during singles class.

She's not past 30. She's cute. And she's a doctor. Not a resident, but a full-fledged physican in neurology.

We talked. I like. What next.

Talk again, ask her where her ex-husband lives, and if he's sane...

[img]http://www.pre-ban.com/forums/html/emoticons/post-26-1062127620.gif[/img] [):)]



Okay then try lunch instead.

Tell her you hang-out on a website devoted to those "evil" assault rifles and watch her run like the wind...


Seriously. If this woman is a doctor, take it slow and natural. She's not stupid. She's a woman who knows that she can take care of herself darn well, which is a good thing. But it will also mean that she will be less willing to put up with crap. Many women are raised thinking that Cinderella is a real story, so they will often delude themselves into staying in a bad relationship to try to force it to work, or at least to make others think their marraige is perfect. I know I married one of those. I am trying to raise my daughters to have enough self-esteem and confidence not to put-up with crap from a man. Anyways... this girl is most likely of that type. And if you two are able to "gel" then you may have a winner. Plus, she'll make good $$$ and buy you lots of good toys that go "bang" (if she doesn't run-off as mentioned above).

go for it.

Being a doctor she will probably hate guns, though. But on the other hand she is from Oklahoma and likes country music.

You are young.  You will bore her quickly.

So get involved for sex reseasons only.

Then hang on.....

Sgtar15

Uhhhh, how about going on a date?



Jeeez.....

What next?  'splain to me what "singles class" is?

If she's a neurologist, she should have a line on scoring some human andrenal gland.  That, a pint of ether, and a room at the Motel 6 is all you'll need.

Yeah, you're rolling the dice on the gun question. But the indicators are good. Would wait for a little bit to lay that on her. A lot of people are somewhere in the middle on guns, and if you had become important to her she would be more willing to see things the way you do.

Good luck man. Wish I had a shot at a young, cute doctor. Doctor is good -- she can take care of you physically AND monetarily. Lawyer is bad -- she'll take everything you have. Of course, she might do that anyway. [;)]

This thread is worthless without pics!

if your serious, some compatability and compromise issues need to be thought out first:
high maintenance/low maintenance, income amounts(yours vs. hers), social considerations, (being a physician usually requires certain visible atributes, ie: lifestyle, appearance, who she socializes with, some of wich is pre-determined by her place of employment) and the inevitable fact that her career comes first (it has to)
the rewards could be tremoundous, as would be the amount of effort on your part.  

whatever you do, do not mention guns or shooting yet.

Don't let he see the rolls of duct tape and plastic bags in your trunk, until the moment is just right.

adrenochrome..that's what you're after.

She's also a very conservative fundamental Christian. Comes from a Southern Baptist family - deeply religious, I gather. I am a Christian also, so that was what we talked about mainly.

Being a doctor, I hope she is intelligent enough not to equate gun ownership with serial killer mentality.

I'll try to cultivate a good friendship first. The other guys seem to be a little intimidated by her; I was at first. She's pretty and quiet and smart.

A "class" in my church is an adult version of the Bible study class you used to go to as a kid. Same thing, just add 20 years. Basically a place to meet other singles and get hitched.

Tell her to grab the viagra samples, take a week off work, and meet you at the motel 6

Confused huh ! [>:/]

Just give me her phone number I'll take it from here .[;)]

If she's board certified neurology, you're looking at at a 29year old at least. Unless she is one of the rarities that get in without completing a senior year in college.
18yo High school + 4 years college + 4 years med school + 3 years residency= 29yo.

She may be 30 if her residency program was 4 years like it is at my school.

Of course all bets are off if she graduated High school or college early. [smile]
good luck,
tony

She said she finished her residency in Memphis, TN. She [i]looks[/i] like she's around 25, though. Either she's got good genes in the looks dept., or she was a child prodigy.

Doctor = $$$$ = Marriage material = Lot's of cool toys![heavy]

If she's pro-gun!

Heheh. You [i]don't[/i] have to tell me twice.

the fact she has the money to do what she wants and yet seeks out other singles in church is very cool.
if you're both sincere in your beliefs then she should be able to see the 'real' you and your personal hobbies shoudn't interfere.

being from oklahoma,and liking country music can't hurt either.

I just checked, and Memphis is a 3 year program. Not that this really matters for you. [;)]Good catch.
tony

Are you a doctor? Rich? Famous?

If not, she's probaly out of your league. Women dont appreciate guys who haven't achieved equal or superior stations in society.  For men, that's not as important as other things.

But I wouldn't be intimidated, just realistic about long term prospects.  She might be not looking for anything serious at the moment.
[edited: reading this again, I see you met her at church.  Safe to say she's probably not trolling for casual sex]

Yeah, anyway, thanks for all the responses so far. It was run reading them, and for those who recommend the heavy sexual approach, let's just say I won't be taking that. [:D]

I'll let her decide if she's out of my league or not. She may be...[shrug]

My last GF was a doctorate in mathematics at Rice U. I must have a thing for intelligent women (who really aren't that smart once you get to know them).

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.  WTF?  If you have to ask, I don't think we can help you much.

Good plan.  You're both Christians.  Keep it that way.  Become good friends.  Keep the relationship focused on the Lord first, then each other and yourselves.

Guys are stupid.  We tend to do stupid things like fall for girls.  Sometimes even girls we're not supposed to.  She might be your future wife, she might be someone else's, or she might be single the rest of her life.

None of that matters.  Right now, she's your sister.  She will remain your sister up until the day you get engaged.  Until then, do not let yourself get convinced that she even *might* be your future wife.  She's your sister.  Treat her and think of her as such.

Oh, and keep the friendship focused on the Lord.  If she's the one, it'll happen.  If she's not, neither of you will be hurt if you keep His will before your own.

Oh yeah, keep the friendship focused on the Lord.

clean_cut, what do you do for a living?

I agree with raven.  Sorry.  If she doesn't work in some inner city clinic for minumum wage then she will be looking for at least a financial equal when looking to settle down.  At 30+ (even thought she looks 25), that biological clock is ticking.

She could have been any type of M.D. but chose neurology - one of the highest paid specialites in the business.

I already know what to do (for me). I wasn't [i]really[/i] asking; just throwing this out there for GD fodder. [:D]

Voilsb seems to be thinking what I'm thinking.

I'm an architect. I work on airports. I told her that and she still seems friendly, so...

George, George Castanza!

LOL!

On the weekends, I'm a marine biologist, and I saved a whale.

Great, a well respected field.  Then you are in like Flynn.  

Unfortunately, it can be really hard advice to follow.  Again, I place the blame squarely on the fact that we, as guys, are stupid when it comes to girls and hormones.

Actually, what she does for a living doesn't mean a thing to me. I don't care if she's a doctor or a Walmart checker - what really counts is if she is a good person - a good heart and a strong faith are my only requirements for marriage. Of course, I have to find her somewhat physically appealing.

I also hope a woman doesn't fall in love with me because of what I [i]do[/i], but who I [i]am[/i]. [:)]

She's in a 'class' where you have defined some of the objectives as hanging around with singles, 'getting hitched'... hmmm, I'd take that as she's probably looking.

Secondly, you're in a high prestige profession, and so is she - sounds like it's worth seeing where it would go.

Just follow the advice given by voilsb - sounded good to me.

As for being a George Kastanza type - he was an Accountant - not an architect... your in, "dude"...[:)]

Good luck

Picking up girls at church...

Foreign concept to me, can't help ya.  Way too wholesome for my character.  I'd freak out.  That...or the ceiling would fall on me not too long after I stepped foot inside.

Either way, this church chick seems to be right up your bowling alley.  Good luck to ya and may your first date be fun.[:D]

You must've missed one of the hundred episodes where George either professed his desire to be an architect, or outright impersonated one. And lied about being a marine biologist too. He also liked the name "Art Vandalais" too.

Anyways... sounds like you have the right ideas clean_cut. Keep it up. She could be the right one for you. If not, don't settle. She doesn't seem like the type to settle for 2nd best anyways. If she chooses you, then it will be because she wants YOU -- profession aside.

My deal with all the girls I dated that fit into working in the medical field:  Remember my  "Found out my X is a porn star"  thread a while back.  Yea.  Enough said.

Uh oh.... looks like missionary position only.[rolleyes]

The difference between God and a doctor is God does not think he/she's a doctor.

I could become a financially kept man. Some men's ego would not allow that. Check your ego and see if it qualifies to be the homebody to her bread winner.

A quick test would be to ask her if she would take her husband's name, or do some combination of both name thing, or make her husband take her name?

Copies of her last six months bank accounts! [:D]




[devil]

I had a lot of funny commentary at the ready, but as far as real advice goes... yeah, what Voilsb said.

DrMark

I'll second what [b]voilsb[/b] said...

Clean Cut have you ever read any books buy Joshua Harris? Check them out sometime.

Brick

Show her your rash and see if she can prescribe somthing for it.


Bobwrench

Actually, she is a child neurologist - meaning she treats patients up to 18 years old for central nervous system disorders like epilepsy, etc.

I have a lot of respect for her because of her accomplishments. All relationships are built on respect - without respect, there is no relationship. All I can offer is me - if someone like her goes for money, then so be it. But anyway, it's a little premature. Just saying she's more my style than some of the other women I have met. Thanks for all your comments.

What voilsb and HillBillySaquatch said.

But of course, I'm probably the only male here who is currently married to a doctor, so I'll throw in my two cents' worth.

[b]One:[/b] she will be busy and away from you and unavailable for you (esp. when she is on 24hr. call) A LOT..and I do mean: A LOT!!! Better get used to it, and make sure you have lots of consuming hobbies and understanding friends.

[b]Two:[/b] The guns you own and will own are non-negotiable.

Period.

Guns are a symbol more to women than they are to men. If you draw the line in the sand on this, you will get respect. Or the boot. But the boot would have happened anyway, but there won't have been any spine left for her or anybody like her to step on with, by that time, capiche? Guns are the ultimate Rohrshach test of a potential mate, but the timing of the presentation and the step-by-step introduction of them are very importatnt to get the woman used to them, if they are not already. She might be, you never know- get to know her family- see what their attitudes are- hers might be similar. She's conservative, religious- she might be positively attuned to youir addiction....[:)]

[b]Three:[/b] unless you plan to let other people do it, you will be the one spending more time raising the kids, since doctors' schedules, esp. that of specialists' , are so full, all the time. They EARN their pay, every last %#*ing dime. My wife just got home from a twelve-hour shift and collapsed asleep on the couch behind me as soon as she finished dinner. The kids and I ate dinner three hours ago. Then she'll wake around midnight to try and catch up on her dictations and paperwork. A typical evening at the 95thFoot house....

Staying at home to raise the kids: I do that, but it's not for everybody (it took a LOT of adjustment for me). Since I was home with them so much and my wife was so busy as a doctor (family medicine), I stopped trying to juggle a career and three kids. I sorted out my priorities, and, since I was a schoolteacher, and she was a doctor, we did the math: one cannot raise a family on a teacher's pay. But we are both conservative enough to know that it should be us raising the kids, not some day-care someplace.

But that's how it was for us. YMMV.

Also: I'll bet the barn, but not the farm, she's been so darn busy in medical school, residency, etc., she probably has never dated much, or had any time for much non-career stuff. She probably intimidates most guys she meets, because of her career. Don't get intimidated, but do remember this: her career will drive how your lives will proceed if you get together- that's just how it is.