Funny Ancestry DNA test. Wife and her SJW Mom

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Posted: 8/21/2017 10:30:08 PM EDT

Tldr: Wife was led to believe her entire life she was Native American by crazy mother... Ancestry DNA test says "that is a lie"

Ok, here's the long version. My wife has been hounded relentlessly by her Obama loving, Trump hating, Socialist mother to fill out an application to be accepted to the local spin off tribe of the Cherokee's. Her main reasoning behind this is so that she can "get a check" when there's finally an Indian casino here ????.

We generally try to overlook the MIL's crazy, but I saw the perfect chance to shut her down...and the gamble paid off. The wife's DNA results came back today and guess what?? NONE, NOT ANY Native American DNA. 55% Scandinavian, 14% Ireland, 11% Italy/Greece, 10% Iberian Peninsula, and 9% Great Britain. Oh what a happy day! Her mother is a "card carrying" member of the tribe and goes to their pow wows and assorted other shenanigans.

Just had to share one of my small victories tonight, and yes I know the rules... So I've posted a picture of her cracker ass below. She would have been the whitest Native American I'd ever seen ??

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Posted: 8/21/2017 10:33:34 PM EDT

[#1]

Now to trick MIL into doing the same thing and get her kicked out of the tribe!

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:34:03 PM EDT

[#2]

Her shirt sleeves are torn

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:34:43 PM EDT

[#3]

So I am guessing that this test invalidates her mothers claim as pure bull shit! Sounds like a letter needs to get dropped to the Cherokee council

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:36:00 PM EDT

[#4]

Does the tribe not check or something? If she's a card carrying member of their tribe, and it can be proven a lie by a DNA test, how did she get in?

Could always make an anonymous call or something.....

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:36:28 PM EDT

[#5]

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Her shirt sleeves are torn

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Indian tradition ??

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:37:05 PM EDT

[#6]

Quote History

Quoted:
Now to trick MIL into doing the same thing and get her kicked out of the tribe!

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No need to, just tell them her daughter showed no DNA at all. Stands to reason mom has none either.

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:38:08 PM EDT

[#7]

Quote History

Quoted:
Her shirt sleeves are torn

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She's a traitor to the fake Cherokee nation. Traitors have their sleeves torn.

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:39:07 PM EDT

[#8]

Quote History

Quoted:
Does the tribe not check or something? If she's a card carrying member of their tribe, and it can be proven a lie by a DNA test, how did she get in?

Could always make an anonymous call or something.....

View Quote

There's actually a genealogy requirement before the tribe elders will consider your application. Her and her mother both passed that requirement. Just goes to show that great grandpa chief 10 beers may have just been full of shit.

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:40:16 PM EDT

[#9]

Quote History

Quoted:
She's a traitor to the fake Cherokee nation. Traitors have their sleeves torn.

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Quoted:

Quoted:
Her shirt sleeves are torn

She's a traitor to the fake Cherokee nation. Traitors have their sleeves torn.

Makes sense

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:40:58 PM EDT

[#10]

In the South, everyone seems to think they are at least "1/8th Cherokee". Very few DNA tests bear that out.

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:43:02 PM EDT

[#11]

Quote History

Quoted:
There's actually a genealogy requirement before the tribe elders will consider your application. Her and her mother both passed that requirement. Just goes to show that great grandpa chief 10 beers may have just been full of shit.

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Quoted:

Quoted:
Does the tribe not check or something? If she's a card carrying member of their tribe, and it can be proven a lie by a DNA test, how did she get in?

Could always make an anonymous call or something.....

There's actually a genealogy requirement before the tribe elders will consider your application. Her and her mother both passed that requirement. Just goes to show that great grandpa chief 10 beers may have just been full of shit.

My family had to show we were direct blood descendants of someone on the Dawes scrolls.

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:45:56 PM EDT

[#12]

There are a lot of phony American Indian groups that issue worthless "cards".

If the mother in law isn't an actual tribe member her bullshit card is meaningless anyway.

She needs to prove her family's heritage to be accepted as a real member of an actual tribe.

https://www.archives.gov/research/native-americans/dawes/tutorial/intro.html

http://www.cherokee.org/Services/Tribal-Citizenship

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:50:33 PM EDT

[#13]

My wife's best friend when she was younger is the whitest woman you will see.

What's funny is that her Dad and family are 100% Indian and she was born on the reservation herself. But she grew up with her mother and never had any association with that until she was an adult and she met her Dad for the first time since being an infant.

I think their reservation actually was partly in Canada and partly in the U.S.. She had a real problem getting a passport because she had no birth certificate. It was really kind of a screwed up situation.

Another guy was in my platoon and he was just some white dude as well. But he kept having to go to dental for some sort of work. One day we asked him why and he told us about some genetic disorder that only affects Indians. We were blown away as we had no idea this guy was a Native American. We actually had a number of Native Americans but most were obvious.

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:54:01 PM EDT

[#14]

Same with mine. Some funny stuff.

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:54:20 PM EDT

[#15]

Why is it always Cherokee?
There are other tribes.

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:55:40 PM EDT

[#16]

OP, that is funny. Most morons in the South do say the are part Native American, but none have proof.

Cherokees are only in NE Alabama, that I know of. Are they close to getting a casino? The Poarch Creek have two near me. I think you have to be 1/16 for the Creek to recognize you.

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:57:35 PM EDT

[#17]

Wait. So your mother-in-law is Elizabeth Warren?

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:57:50 PM EDT

[#18]

Drop the dime to the tribe on her SJW fauxcahontas commie mommy

Posted: 8/21/2017 10:59:32 PM EDT

[#19]

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:00:34 PM EDT

[#20]

Quote History

Quoted:
Why is it always Cherokee?
There are other tribes.

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I think it has to do with that song by Paul Revere "Cherokee Nation"

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:01:07 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Tldr: Wife was led to believe her entire life she was Native American by crazy mother... Ancestry DNA test says "that is a lie"
Ok, here's the long version. My wife has been hounded relentlessly by her Obama loving, Trump hating, Socialist mother to fill out an application to be accepted to the local spin off tribe of the Cherokee's. Her main reasoning behind this is so that she can "get a check" when there's finally an Indian casino here ????.
We generally try to overlook the MIL's crazy, but I saw the perfect chance to shut her down...and the gamble paid off. The wife's DNA results came back today and guess what?? NONE, NOT ANY Native American DNA. 55% Scandinavian, 14% Ireland, 11% Italy/Greece, 10% Iberian Peninsula, and 9% Great Britain. Oh what a happy day! Her mother is a "card carrying" member of the tribe and goes to their pow wows and assorted other shenanigans.
Just had to share one of my small victories tonight, and yes I know the rules... So I've posted a picture of her cracker ass below. She would have been the whitest Native American I'd ever seen ??
https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/116858/received_10213720074137396-286968.JPG

View Quote

Well, you've proved that your wife doesn't have Native American DNA. What did the mother say about the results?

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:01:22 PM EDT

[#22]

next move....daughters of the confederacy application

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:02:49 PM EDT

[#23]

My mom is like your mother in law. I decided to have fun and roll the dice and get her and I tested. For my amusement. She was 54 percent and my cracker ass was 27%.

I stopped teasing her about that one thing after that.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:03:26 PM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:
Why is it always Cherokee?
There are other tribes.

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Agreed. It always seems to be Cherokee. My great grandmother was full blooded Creek. Creeks had a bad reputation in south Alabama.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:03:30 PM EDT

[#25]

Quote History

Quoted:
Now to trick MIL into doing the same thing and get her kicked out of the tribe!

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You do know how DNA works right?

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:06:39 PM EDT

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:
Does the tribe not check or something? If she's a card carrying member of their tribe, and it can be proven a lie by a DNA test, how did she get in?

Could always make an anonymous call or something.....

View Quote

slippery slope - if they check every member and some of them don't have the right DNA do they get booted from the tribe?

what does the tribe then do when people with no affiliation test higher percentage than card carriers for native american dna?

political train wreck

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:06:56 PM EDT

[#27]

Quote History

Quoted:
Her shirt sleeves are torn

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Pointed elbows do that. Shall I say, not guilty.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:07:58 PM EDT

[#28]

Switched at birth?

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:09:34 PM EDT

[#29]

Quote History

Quoted:
Why is it always Cherokee?
There are other tribes.

View Quote

Easier most likely? Between my wife, 100% Blackfeet, and her extended family of Puyallup, Nisqually and Colville Indians, it seems pretty fucking hard to "get registered" without the proper degree of blood. You can't just show up with "indian DNA" and say hand me that percap' check. You have need to have a proper 50% or more degree of blood [depending on the tribe], and that be from verifiable and already recognized members of the tribe.

ETA: And all Native Americans don't get "checks" and other free money. As I said, the wife is Blackfeet and she may get a check at Christmas from the tribe for $75.00. She calls that her Christmas ham fund.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:10:01 PM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:
Why is it always Cherokee?
There are other tribes.

View Quote

Trail of Tears. That's why.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:10:19 PM EDT

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:
Why is it always Cherokee?
There are other tribes.

View Quote

Two reason. 1- Cherokees were larger and more willing then other tribes to intermarry with whites so a lot of mix race marriages happened. 2- Cherokee was a SouthEastern tribe so it was a convenient excuse for mixed race Southerners to claim to be part Cherokee to avoid being considered black ("I can vote and own land. I'm part Cherokee, not black"). More socially acceptable to say Great Grandpa married a indian princess then to admit that he was fucking his slaves.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:10:22 PM EDT

[#32]

Not every tribe has a blood quantum requirement for membership, now, and certainly not in the past.

But having a DNA component that matches other documented tribal members adds some validity to family rumors.

Congratulations on your "Indian Princess". She'd be on my 'capture' list.

(Her mom, on the other hand, well, COC and all that.)

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:12:15 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Tldr: Wife was led to believe her entire life she was Native American by crazy mother... Ancestry DNA test says "that is a lie"

Ok, here's the long version. My wife has been hounded relentlessly by her Obama loving, Trump hating, Socialist mother to fill out an application to be accepted to the local spin off tribe of the Cherokee's. Her main reasoning behind this is so that she can "get a check" when there's finally an Indian casino here ????.

We generally try to overlook the MIL's crazy, but I saw the perfect chance to shut her down...and the gamble paid off. The wife's DNA results came back today and guess what?? NONE, NOT ANY Native American DNA. 55% Scandinavian, 14% Ireland, 11% Italy/Greece, 10% Iberian Peninsula, and 9% Great Britain. Oh what a happy day! Her mother is a "card carrying" member of the tribe and goes to their pow wows and assorted other shenanigans.

Just had to share one of my small victories tonight, and yes I know the rules... So I've posted a picture of her cracker ass below. She would have been the whitest Native American I'd ever seen ??
https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/116858/received_10213720074137396-286968.JPG

View Quote

Your wife would win second place. This ~~would be~~ is the whitest Native American (ever!):

Attached File

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:12:46 PM EDT

[#34]

Quote History

Quoted:
Why is it always Cherokee?
There are other tribes.

View Quote

They are the most famous of the civilized tribes.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:12:54 PM EDT

[#35]

Quote History

Quoted:
Well, you've proved that your wife doesn't have Native American DNA. What did the mother say about the results?

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Tldr: Wife was led to believe her entire life she was Native American by crazy mother... Ancestry DNA test says "that is a lie"
Ok, here's the long version. My wife has been hounded relentlessly by her Obama loving, Trump hating, Socialist mother to fill out an application to be accepted to the local spin off tribe of the Cherokee's. Her main reasoning behind this is so that she can "get a check" when there's finally an Indian casino here ????.
We generally try to overlook the MIL's crazy, but I saw the perfect chance to shut her down...and the gamble paid off. The wife's DNA results came back today and guess what?? NONE, NOT ANY Native American DNA. 55% Scandinavian, 14% Ireland, 11% Italy/Greece, 10% Iberian Peninsula, and 9% Great Britain. Oh what a happy day! Her mother is a "card carrying" member of the tribe and goes to their pow wows and assorted other shenanigans.
Just had to share one of my small victories tonight, and yes I know the rules... So I've posted a picture of her cracker ass below. She would have been the whitest Native American I'd ever seen ??
https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/116858/received_10213720074137396-286968.JPG

Well, you've proved that your wife doesn't have Native American DNA. What did the mother say about the results?

This just keeps getting better.. she's not returning texts about the matter at this point. The BEST part is now that we are digging into the website a little deeper, it actually "links" her to her queer uncle that has pushed all this bullshit. His ancestry profile seriously has a picture of him in his damn Indian costume and his DNA results listed... Non of which show Native American. Here's a screenshot of "Chief Big Lie".

Attached File

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:15:06 PM EDT

[#36]

Your MIL may need to join Chief Dirtyass of the Nowipee Tribe.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:15:15 PM EDT

[#37]

My wife is 50% Native American, but she is from South America

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:16:46 PM EDT

[#38]

Quote History

Quoted:

This just keeps getting better.. she's not returning texts about the matter at this point. The BEST part is now that we are digging into the website a little deeper, it actually "links" her to her queer uncle that has pushed all this bullshit. His ancestry profile seriously has a picture of him in his damn Indian costume and his DNA results listed... Non of which show Native American. Here's a screenshot of "Chief Big Lie". https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/116858/XCamera-20170821_221027-287001.JPG

View Quote

Clearly he's a member of the Irish Indian tribe....

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:19:04 PM EDT

[#39]

Quote History

Quoted:

You do know how DNA works right?

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if daughter has no NA Dna, mom doesn't either

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:20:11 PM EDT

[#40]

Quote History

Quoted:

This just keeps getting better.. she's not returning texts about the matter at this point. The BEST part is now that we are digging into the website a little deeper, it actually "links" her to her queer uncle that has pushed all this bullshit. His ancestry profile seriously has a picture of him in his damn Indian costume and his DNA results listed... Non of which show Native American. Here's a screenshot of "Chief Big Lie". https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/116858/XCamera-20170821_221027-287001.JPG

View Quote

Seriously trace their family back to Confederate veterans and sign all their asses up for the sons and daughters of the CSA respectively. Give them the acceptance letter and a folded battle flag for Christmas

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:20:26 PM EDT

[#41]

Awkward.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:20:32 PM EDT

[#42]

Jokes on you guys when MIL starts getting her checks lol

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:22:38 PM EDT

[#43]

Bro, I've got bad news.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:23:21 PM EDT

[#44]

Quote History

Quoted:
Bro, I've got bad news.

https://media1.giphy.com/media/tYligZtoDB6N2/200_s.gif

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Posted: 8/21/2017 11:24:13 PM EDT

[#45]

Quote History

Quoted:
Makes sense

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Her shirt sleeves are torn

She's a traitor to the fake Cherokee nation. Traitors have their sleeves torn.

Makes sense

I finally understand Larry the Cable Guy...

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:24:24 PM EDT

[#46]

You sure OP? She has high cheek bones, just like Elizabeth Warren.

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:25:36 PM EDT

[#47]

Quote History

Quoted:
Bro, I've got bad news.

https://media1.giphy.com/media/tYligZtoDB6N2/200_s.gif

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Holy Shit

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:27:35 PM EDT

[#48]

Quote History

Quoted:
Why is it always Cherokee?
There are other tribes.

View Quote

Posted: 8/21/2017 11:29:11 PM EDT

[#49]

Oh Lord, I see your in Bama. Is the tribe in question the Echota "nation"? They are notorious for signing up anyone that wants membership. Everyone in Alabama thinks their grandmother was full-blooded Cherokee and these yahoos are more than happy to capitalize on that to fund their Indian LARPing.

Of course they're not federally recognized and their response to that is that the federal government wants to save a buck and therefore doesn't want to give them their benefits.