Here’s what happened at a local Taco restaurant today when I went out for lunch with some co-workers:



Me: "I'll have a small BBQ beef taco, mild; a large steak fajita, mild: and a small Pepsi [b]with no ice.[/b]"
Girl behind the counter "A small BBQ taco and a chicken fajita ?"
Me: "No, a steak fajita please"
Girl: "Did you want ice ?"
Me: "No thanks"
(This should have been my first warning)

I get my food and finish the BBQ taco first. So far so good. I get about a third into my "Steak Fajita" when I realize it's a "Chicken Rostito", so I head back to the counter.

Me: "Excuse me, I ordered a Steak Fajita, but I got a Chicken Rostito"
Girl: "NO ! You told me Chicken Rostito !"
Me: "No, I said Steak Fajita. I get the same thing every time I come here.
Girl: "You did not ! You told me Chicken Rostito !" (Turns around in a huff)

Manager making tacos whispers to her "Ask him if he wants a cookie"

Girl (dripping with contempt): [i]"Would you like a cookie ?"[/i]
Me: "No thanks"

I get my replacement Steak Fajita and join the others at the table. I take a few bites and realize I'm the proud owner of a CHICKEN Fajita.

Incredible.

Your first mistake was eating mexican garbage, the nastiest tasting accumulation of disgusting semi-digestible substances given the malapropism of "food".

Having worked fast food while in high school, I can sympathize with these losers.  When you spoke to the kid, here's what she heard:

"I'll have a (blah, blah, blah, blah) and a small (blah, blah, blah)".

And, while you were standing at the counter, she was thinking about:  sex, makeup, boys, painting toenails, (tacos), calling her friend, calling her boyfriend, emailing her friend, emailing her boyfriend, (tacos?), sex, shaving armpits, Britney Spears, that little drop of spit at the corner of your mouth, (tacos), sex, cigarettes, math test, boy my feet hurt, boys in general, buying a new purse, (ice in Pepsi?), whateverrrrrr, when do I get off work, boys.

All this in 2 minutes.  Just remember, they don't hire brain surgeons to work at Taco Hell.
Extra hot taco sauce, please.

I can also understand your side, I once threw a bag full of bean burritos at the assistant manager of a local Taco Bell after they had screwed up my order for the 3rd time and I had driven back for the 3rd time.

I've been to Taco Bell exactly two times in my life (because my idiot friend from Denmark thinks it's cool when he's visiting [:)] ).  

I got sick both time.

Now why did BOTH you and I go back a second time after we got sick the first? Same thing happened to me... GEEZ we're dumb sometimes.

How about this one Taco Bell Classic:

CUSTOMER: I will have 2 tacos with 'minimal' lettuce.

(Dork behind the counter looks confused, goes back to the manager and then 3 minutes later comes back to the customer.)

DORK BEHIND COUNTER: I'm sorry sir, we just have 'iceberg'

I'll have to let Taco Bell off the hook on this one. It was a local taco chain. However, here’s another one. This conversation occurred recently between one of my co-workers named Peter and a fine young lady at McDonalds:

Peter: "Could I please have the 4 cheeseburgers 2 fries for $2.99"
Girl: "Individually or do you want the value meal?"
Peter: "Is the $2.99 for the value meal?"
Girl: "Yeah"
Peter: "I'll have that, could I please have 2 hamburgers instead of 2 of
the cheeseburgers?"
Girl: "Yeah, but it will be more expensive"
Peter: "Why is it more expensive?"
Girl: "Because I'd have to charge you for hamburgers which are $.89"
Peter: "Yeah, but if you give me hamburgers instead of the cheeseburgers
you are saving money"
Girl: "No, we are losing money"
Peter: "So, if I buy a cheeseburger for $.49 without cheese, you save the
cost of the cheese but it's more expensive?"
Girl: "Yeah, because we are losing money"
Peter: "How!?"
Girl: "Because a hamburger is $.89, if I sell it to you for $.49 we lose
$.40".
Peter: "But you are keeping the cheese, you have a lower cost"
Girl: "Yeah, but we are still losing money"
Peter: "Ok, how about this, give me the 4 cheeseburgers, only put the
cheese on the side for 2 of them, then before they are wrapped, leave the
cheese out and don't give me the cheese".
Girl: "Then I'd have to charge you for a hamburger"
Peter: "Just give me the cheeseburgers !"

went to a steak house one night right at closing time with a buddy.  ended up taking the waitress out to a club with us that night and she blew me afterwards.  does that count?

One time I had all you can eat soft shell crabs.  I was in heaven!  Never found them all you can eat since[:(]

Hey, Valk, did you charge her extra for the 'cheez'? [;D]

i was actually surprised!  i asked if she wanted to go and she was cool.  so we went.  she had like 4 drinks and my buddy drove his own car.  we got in mine and thats how it went.  i saw her once in a while when i went there to eat and asked her out again but ended up blowing her off for another chic.  then when i tried to call her she wouldn't answer so i satyed out of that steak house for a few months.  she quit or got fired because she was gone like 4 months after that.  she was ptretty hot.  

BK in Gorham, NH.

So, a few weeks prior, my truck broke down in Maine.  I left it with a mechanic in the local area (~350 miles from home).

A buddy of mine drives me up to the shop early on a Saturday morning so I can pay and pick up my truck.  We leave the shop and cross into NH about lunch time and we agree on BK.

I order my burger and request no tomato or ketsup.  Invaribly, they screw it up.  I go back up to the counter and speak with the drone behind the register and let her know of their mistake.  She tells me, get this, "I didn't do it."  I was amazed and almost at a loss for words so I tell her again the mistake.  Same response.  I blow a gasket, "I don't give a shit who did it - FIX IT!"  Now, Mrs Manager comes over to ask the problem, I explain and she asks me who prepared the burger.  I further explain that it isn't my effing job to know who did prepared the food, as she was the GD manager, not me.

"OK, Enough - give me my money back."
"What?"
"You heard me."
"I don't understand the problem."
"Look, I explained it three times and now I am too disgusted to eat.  Money. Now."

I produce the receipt for the lunch that has both mine and my buddy's meal on it.  He has almost finished his meal so I tell her to deduct the cost of mine and I will go elsewhere.  Man, the confusion behind the counter trying to give me the money back for my portion of the meal, while I still pay for what my buddy ate.  I counted three more customers who were waiting to order, leave.

I was still a bit hungry, but we laughed our asses off at the looks on the drones' faces trying to explain the problem and trying to do higher math.

Stupid people are alive simply because it is illegal to shoot them.

-934

Union steward of my local in New Orleans stood in line in a New Orleans East Burger King for about 10 minutes. When he gets to the counter, Shaniqua gets a surley look and say's, "dis regista close". My bud just side steps into the next line. The new Shaniqua say's, "you can't cut line like dat". My bud grabs the mike and calls out his order to the back his self. Levon, de manager, comes over and listens to my buds story and tells him that he can't cut line. He goes out and starts to drive away and stops his truck behind the BK, jumps out and get's a bigass pipe wrench out. The hoodlum riding with him is thinking that these extras for the Tarzan movie are fixing to get their teef knocked out when my bud stops at the back of the place and turns off the gas main. He then goes across the street and watches the pissed off customers come filing out without their food. The lesson to be learned here is don't get between a Ninth Ward savage and his Whopper®!

Not a story per se, but after eating at various places in the Chicago area, going out to eat in Wisconsin is extremely disappointing.  I know Illinois sucks, and Chicago in particular, BUT, the resteraunts really rock!  You may spend a little bit more than in Wisconsin, but you invariably go home with enough really good food to eat for another two days!

Went to a local hipster cafe after the lunch rush, I'm like the only person there. I order some food and a beer.  Waiter (wearing a brand parody t-shirt with a Hershey bar on the chest that says "HASHISH") takes my order, comes back with my beer.

So I'm sitting and reading, but after a half hour, no food or waiter to be seen.  Walk up to the counter

"Hey man, where's my food?"

"Oh, did you order something?"

"Yeah."  

"Oh!!!  Sorry!"

dipshit looks through his check pad, walks over to the cook and gives him my order.  Sheesh.

Me and they guys were at one of the local Fridays last week, and our waitress was quite the little hotty.  I tried to turn on a little charm and when I was departing our conversation went something like this.

Me: "Hey, I was wondering if I could give you a call sometime and take you to diner?"

Her: "Uh....Uh....yeah, dinner's good, here's my #."

Why can't I pull shit like that off all the time?

was she a [i]big-un[/i], mmmm...diner

I must attract these people like magnets.

I was out of town on a business trip a while back. My flight arrived in the evening, so on the way to my hotel, I stopped at what appeared to be a nice  local restaurant for a late dinner. The polite young waitress came over and took my order.  I ordered my meal which included a salad with French dressing but NO onions.  After about ½ hour (which I couldn’t understand, because I was the only patron in the place) my food arrived. Of course, it included a salad LOADED WITH ONIONS.

Me: “Excuse miss, but I ordered a salad with no onions.”

The waitress looked down at my plate and said “Oh, OK” as she proceeded to dig through my salad with her unwashed fingers to remove every last onion. Yummy.

So I'm in a Pizzeria Uno's, and there is about a half-hour wait. I put my name on the list of course. After about 50 minutes of waiting, and watching people that came in [i]before[/i] me get seats, I mosey on up to the hostess station and look at the seating list (she wasn't there). I notice my name is crossed off. So, when she comes back, I politely ask "Hi, when do you think I'll get a seat." She asks for my name and then looks at the sheet for about 5 minutes. She looks up and says "I'm sorry sir, you've been seated." My jaw drops at the stupidity of that comment. I then go into "irritated customer" mode and proceed to tell her she better get me the next available table or I'm talking to her manager. I got seated [i]immediately[/i]. I think she was quivering too. I soooo should have requested a free appetizer or something.

2 diff stories

1)When we first get back from Germany wife wants to go to braums for some of ther good ol crinkle fries. First when we get our orders we find out they dont serve the crinkles anymore(but since then have gone back to them) and then she bites into the chicken sandwhich and immediately spits it out on the table and I am like what the hell. It was RAW a breaded chicken fillet totally not cooked as in the chicken was cold pink slimy jigly! I took the sandwhich to the counter and asked for the manager and went off on him asking if the were retarded or inbred or just purposely trying to poison my wife? The kid att he grill starts snickering so i nail the kid square in the chest with the sandwhich oooooooooh I was pissed the manager is all like no need to get violent and of course I am like you havent seen violent yet. We got free food there for a month so I went there every day at least once sometimes twice a day and would get like 10 2/3 pound cheese burgers large fries and shakes and take them home and pass them out to everyone even to neighbors if I had to i just made sure they paid at least a small price, if I hadnt been enroute to another mil school I would have gotten a lawyer and sued.

I was sooo pisssed remembering that I forgot to tell the other story which is a cooler one.

A friend and I were at the Golden Corral I think it was or the other big steakhouse typre rest. in Lawton by Ft. Sill anyways my friend is one tabbed out fool as in SF, Ranger, Pathfinder he was Airborne, Air Assault anyways we are sittin there and his girlfriend worked there as a waitress and was at the table getting our orders when a guy walked in from behind me and as he got next to our table my friend jumps up lightening quick and has the guy slammed and pinned to the floor with his arm cranked behind his back and a small revolver stuck in the back of the guys head. My friend had noticed it stuck in the front of his pants sort of concealed by his open jacket. This was way before Ok had ccw and when the cops got there the guy was wanted for several other roberies of restraunts and gitngos and cirkle k's. His girlfriend was freaking out the whole time screaming and freaking but the customers just sat ther lookin on like cool whats going on?