Shop Shop Shop
Know you have a deal when you see it.  Buy something sentimental and easily affordable.

Remember to shop again after 29 years.
Buy the BIG rock as celebration of the past 30 years.

Best wishes.

know what she wants in design and setting and band, have her draw it out or go shopping together. i think you can buy the diamond seperate (from a real diamond jeweler) and have the settings and ring made later, might be cheaper too.
the whole 2-3 months salary is BS, IMO.

if your an average joe working stiff then dont feel bad spending between $1-3k.
always go for quality over quantity.

i think there might be a website or 2 out there where she can design her own ring, you can print it out and shop based on that info.

i dont agree with just going and buying a ring and hoping she likes the looks of it, but then ive never been married. if you go this route be sure to get a RETURN POLICY on the ring.

i see your in AZ, downtown LA has a famous jewelry/diamond district, people i know that have gotten jewelry have gotten good deals, and the stuff Always appraises for much more than they paid. i dont know if AZ has a jewelry district like this, if not its not too far of a drive or plane ride to hit the one in LA.

[center][b][size=6][yellow]PRECIOUS METALS[/YELLOW][SIZE=6][/b][/center]

The 3 metals you should choose from for the ring are as follows.

1) White gold
2) Yellow gold
3) Platinium

About the metal, white gold is yellow gold mixed with a harder nickle mix & tends to be stronger because of that. All diamonds should be set in a white gold head even if the ring is yellow gold for 2 reasons. Strength, & the reflection of white instead of yellow behind the stone, which may cast a yellow color to the stone.
Yellow gold is gold mixed with brass and is softer than the white.

When buying gold in jewelry it is important to know what is what. 24kt gold is as pure as it comes, but is way to soft to use as jewelry. It will wear out very quickly, & that is why it is mixed with a hardner. 18kt gold is 18 parts gold, & 6 parts hardner. 14kt is 14 parts gold to 10 parts hardner. 10kt is less than half gold & should be avoided at all cost, as it is junk to tell the truth.

There are many types of ring settings, & it is best to find out what she really likes, & better still to have her go with you when shopping.
Platinium is the heavist of the 3 metals, & by far the rarest, & hardest, & thus the most expensive. It will take more abuse and hold up. But it is much harder to have pollished, & way more expensive to have a new shank put on in the event it gets worn out, or to have resized as her hands get puddgy.[:D] The shank being the part on the bottom of the hand that gets the most wear.

Also for yourself, when the time comes, stay the heck away from the titanium mens rings, bassicaly an expensice peice of junk. Can't be sized, polished, or sold for gold scrap. It's light & hard, whoopie ding. I have had customers tell me they scratched the paint of new cars just touching the ring to opening the door. Don't get yourself anything nut white, or yellow gold.

Don't pay extra for a diamond certificate, waste of money unless the stone is envestiment grade Flawless, to near flawless, perfect color, & is going in your safe to appreciate for a while. Don't waste money on laser ingraving the stone. Ask yourself if you will likely ever see the stone again if it is ever stollen. Instead have your stone charted. A jeweler should provide this service for you. It is a map of your stone to check it by after it has gone out for repair or any kind of work you may have done. It is so you can confirm you got the same stone back you sent in. They do get switched by less than scruples folks, & you must protect yourself in this case like so many others. Buy only from a bonded jewler. [:D]

If I can think of any other good advice I will likley post it for your help.

So if we already own two houses....does your advice hold up? [;)]

My answer?

DON'T DO IT!!

My wife wants guns rather than rings!

Yes, she DOES have a sister!
But the sister is a DIP$HIT!....and likes to stay pregnant!

Take your time, shop around. Decide on the style you want, round, teardrop,etc..that will help to thin the choices a bit.

Quality vs. Quantity: You can buy a $10,000 dollar .10 carat diamond or a $100 dollar 1.5 carat diamond. Best to get something in between. If its too small, it won't matter if you paid $25K for it...she won't like it--its a "braggin' rights" girly thing.

Cubic Zirconia: NO NO...not unless you tell her upfront. Hell hath no fury as a fiance' who finds out it ain't a real diamond from a jeweler or someone who knows, in front of her friends.

Most Important Part:  HAVE IT INSURED !!  You can pay a small appraisal fee, then have a jewelry rider put on your homeowner's policy for little to nothing. Good appraisal's even microphotograph the stone ...those tiny carbon bits are as good as a fingerprint if its stolen.

Buy the highest quality stone you can afford.  Not the size but the quality.  Paid $1,200.00 for a half carat 24 years ago and bride still gets compliments on the "fire" from the stone and everyone seems surprized that it is a half carat.  My wife once made a smart remark about it only being a half carat until her family checked it out.

This is another really good idea I just remembered. You would also be better off to buy a loose stone & pick out the mounting together.
It's really the only way you can get a good look at the quality of the stone itself.
Don't by a Pegasus diamond, or any stone that has been treated to make it appear whiter, as the heat treatments cause the stone to become brittle. Like I said before NEVER,NEVER buy from a mall. Just to clue you in. I wasn't in management, but I was trying to get a stone reduced in price to help a young cow hand get a better deal. I went to talk to my Manager & she looked the cost of the $1,600 stone in the computer, & I saw the stores cost was around & 250. I felt guilty for selling him the stone even though I got the price dropped by 15%.

This is a really important issue to remember.

Most diamonds in stores will not just say for instances. 1.25ct SI J, but rather will say something like this. 1.25ct SI1 to SI2 J,K,L.

the 1st number is the carat weight, 2nd is clarity, & 3rd is color. Notice the actual tag will probably read like the second example, & is allowed by law to be upgraded 1 level from what it actually is, because ALL grading is based on a persons opinion via a somewhat hazy guideline.
The dealer should be able to give you the exact weight,clarity, & color of your stone. They do the second example to through of the customers perception as to what they are really getting.
If I held an envelope up & said, inside is a $100, or a $50, or a $20 dollar bill. Would you like to buy this envelope for say $75 dollars? It's probably a 100 dollar bill inside!I darn sure would want to know exactly what I was getting, & you have a right to know what you are really buying from them! Now is that diamond still worth buying if it is the low end of the scale presented on the tag? probably not.

The reason you don't want to wear an investment grade diamond is pretty simple.
Say you buy a 1ct Flawless D color stone that cost you 10,000 dollars. Now while wearing the stone one day your sweetie bumps her hand, & causes a tiny chip in the girdle of the stone. Now you have a 1ct Internally Flawless D color that is worth $7,000 dollars. You just lost 3 grand baby![>(]

[b]IT IS THE LEADING CAUSE OF DIVORCE IN THE COUNTRY!!![/b]

Don't forget...

[url]http://mywebpages.comcast.net/hoplophile/SheWillHaveTo.jpg[/url]

Edited 'cause the link didn't work.

anybody know what a moiseneit (sp) stone is?  I have a friend who went shopping for a diamond and came back with one.  My exact wording was, "you got a moisen-what...  What the hell is that?".  He then told me about how they're harder and clearer than a diamond.  

Buy from a diamond dealer, not just a jewelry store.

Size is nice, but quality can be seen by those in the know.

Platinum settings/bands cost more, but are stronger.  My wife's is a platinum setting/yellow gold accents on a white gold band.  Saved a bit on the band - want to keep the diamonds where they are.

If you don't see a setting that's exactly what you want, it really doesn't cost that much to get a custom setting done.  You can pick and choose portions of various settings and say "I want this and this and this".  A good jeweler can do just about anything you want.  My wife's is not jaw dropping, but is very nice and very unique - she gets compliments on it all the time.

If you decide to invest in a sizeable stone(s) of quality - for goodness sakes, insure it.  Reasonably priced pease of mind.  We have filed a claim with our jewelry insurer and it was handled without any problems.  All they require is annual inspections by one of their authorized jewelers.

[url]http://www.jewelersmutual.com/[/url]

Wow!  Thanks for all the advice and knowledge guys.

What do you think about the setup here?  Is it a nice enough diamond for the size? Is it too small?

What about price for such a setup?
[url]http://www.shaneco.com/BYOR/Builder.asp?step=3&ProductID=16222&size=6&PageLevelID=135&byo=&shape=9&weight=141&color=5&clarity=6&loc=BR/pc_threefourths.gif[/url]
[img]http://www.shaneco.com/images/BR/pc_threefourths.gif[/img]

In my opinion it's too much for to little. I hope your not thinking of buying off the computer.

More affirmative:

DON'T buy off the internet....[:D]

"Don't buy off the internet" is not correct.  "Don't buy sight unseen." is the correct advice.  Some internet places will ship it registered mail to your local jeweler and allow you to look at it/have your jeweler give theor own appraisal of it before you have to pay for it.  If it's a bad deal then just have your jeweler send it back and look somewhere else.  

Yes, this is better, more detailed advice...[:D]

I bought mine over the phone...I'm in VA -- jeweler was in CO.

Hell, my guarantee is still in effect 6 months later....she could still return it for a full refund. [:D]

Let me repete this, with an explanition. Don't buy from the internet! Not just because you haven't seen the stone, but becuse the person your dealing with might not be lagitimate. It is not uncommon for a dealer who sells you the stone, to not be the person who really owns the stone. If you buy it, & he disapeers without paying the owner who gave him some diamonds on credit, or consignment. It will be turned over to the FBI who in turn will quite possibly show up at your door to retreave the stone, & even if you have paid for it, now you have to prove you did in court, & then you still won't get to keep the stone.[:(]
That's why I say don't buy from the net. Go to a well establishe brick store, not a mall, not the internet.

So you can pay their overhead, facilities and rental costs with the price of the already likely inflated price.  The same scenario you describe has happened with people going to brick & mortar establishments.

It actually happened in the diamond district in NYC...shop wasn't there by the time the diamonds were tracked down, neither were the guys who owned the shop.  I got this same warning from a friend of mine who is still in the business in NYC.

You will [b]still[/b] lose the diamond...

Here is some life advise about womens and the rings they get.

She must know you pretty well by now. Do you know her ?

Go shopping with her and tell her to pick out the ring she wants. She will say how much can I spend, tell her what ever she wants because this close to a wedding the money is really OURS anyways.

If she picks a ring you think is TOO much , think twice about a wedding to a women who you dont really know.

If she picks out a ring TOO cheap, keep her and get to know her more. There is such a thing as being too cheap.

If she picks out what you were going to spend or what you think is cool, guess what. Its love at least for now.

Yeah, but in the case of marriage, the effect is often the same.

I used to work for an insurance company as an adjuster, paying homeowner's claims. Replacing lost rings -- invariably supposedly of great value -- was something that occurred daily. Often times the claimants would supply one or more appraisals of the ring from various sources.

Bottom line -- not one of the rings was worth the supposed value. All could be replaced with equivalent rings from a cooperating wholesale jeweler at about one-fourth or less of what the people had paid for them. Furthermore, appraisals generally weren't worth the paper they were written on in terms of determining actual value (i.e., what you could get for it if you had to sell it).

There is a HUGE markup on jewelry and, since it has no functional value and very little real competition in the marketplace (that the average consumers could fairly judge, anyway) the price the jeweler charges is whatever he thinks he can get out of you. And, despite all the good tips from others -- no, you won't find any real bargains unless you find one laying on the street. Look at the display case at your local jeweler and do a quick calculation of how many he has to sell, and what the markup has to be, before he breaks even on rent, salaries, etc. Notice that despite relatively low numbers of sales, the jeweler is probably driving an expensive car, dressed very well, and owns a better than average home. (But the advice not to take your girlfriend is good because her presence definitely will increase the price.)

As far as appraisals go, the appraiser will generally try to flatter you. After all, it doesn't promote repeat appraisal business when people walk away knowing they got an ordinary rock. Everyone wants to think they have something valuable and happy customers come back. If you want a real test of the value of an appraisal, offer to sell it to the appraiser for the appraised amount, or something close to it. You will find that he is not really in the market right now. Ask him if he knows anyone who will actually buy it at that price. Don't hold your breath waiting for a long list of possible buyers.

Appraisals are good for determining the actual quality of the stone, but that means very little in terms of resale versus what you paid for it.

As for buying it as an investment, don't kid yourself. I just inherited a really stunning ring that was bought by someone in the wholesale diamond trade at prices you would never see. It was appraised for a sizable sum way back in the 60s. I still could not sell it for the appraised value.

Diamonds are entertainment for your girlfriend, nothing more. Use that as your primary criteria in selecting a ring.

You can get a special rider on your homeowner's or renter's insurance policy to cover such things. It is all-risk so it covers damage or loss by any cause. (As opposed to your standard policy, which will only cover specified losses such as theft or fire.)

There is a better reason not to buy them as in investment -- they have no real value. The only value is your girlfriend's perception of what you need to do to make her happy. The value is maintained entirely by the DeBeers monopoly which puts huge pressure on other sellers not to sell them at less than monopoly prices. As soon as someone discovers another big diamond deposit and decides not to listen to DeBeers, the price will drop like a Scud missile.

Yes, that advice still holds up. Things that are better investments than diamonds include guns (you can use them for years and still sell them for about what you paid for them, sometimes more) and new cars. Buy new cars fresh off the lot and sell them as used as soon as you get them. You will lose money hand over fist, but not as fast as buying retail diamonds.

And, BTW, if you talk to people who were in Europe during WWII, you will hear lots of stories of people trading handfuls of jewels for a single loaf of bread. A loaf of bread has real value. Diamonds don't.

Put it in your entertainment budget and regard it as such. You will be happier in the long run.

Wow...funny you should mention this story...

When we had it appraised we brought the ring to a "nameless" GIA certified lady who did appraisals.  We brought it in the box so as to keep oils off it...

She worked on it and spec'ed it out, found it matched grade.  Looked up the serial number and matched it out and asked my fiance if she could buy [b]just[/b] the diamond as she had a customer looking for one just like it...of course my fiance was not about to part with it and declined.  GIA lady had prepared the appraisal @ $XX,XXX...way higher than I needed for insurance purposes [:)]...she said she could offer me $X,XXX for the diamond, which happened to be the amount I paid for the ring with the sapphires and custom band/setting.

I had her adjust the appraisal to $500 over my purchase price and went on my way.  She commented that I would have been wise to take her offer on the diamond.

BTW, at true dealer cost from DeBeer's, I could not have gotten this particular diamond at less money.  My "friend" who sells to insurance companies and chain stores, not retail, offered me up an E color diamond of similar cut and weight for $750 more than the D color diamond I bought.[>:/]

I guess maybe all my "homework" paid off and I have just gotten lucky in my dealings with folks in the diamond business....my dealings obviously are not typical.  I'm shocked, as I thought they were....[:(]  

I have heard stories about how they have a customer who wants one just like it. I never quite believed them, because you can go down to the jewelry mart in downtown LA and see them, of all types and sizes, literally by the bushel. They are -- quite literally -- piled up in the windows. Why is it so hard to find one just like another?



Note that your insurance policy probably says the insurance company has the option to either give you the cash for the ring, or to replace it with one of like value. If the appraisal value is way out of line with what they can buy one for -- guess which option they will choose. Therefore, while the huge appraisal may be tremendously flattering (and even get you laid numerous times), it doesn't mean much in terms of the insurance -- except that you will pay a premium based on the inflated value (about 4 bucks in annual premium per thousand of appraised value, as I last recall). Therefore, a high appraised value may actually work against you.

Note also that some people who have had rings stolen will claim that the ring has huge sentimental value because it was handed down from their grandmother or something. (Noting, of course, that the cut and quality of older diamonds often doesn't match more modern diamonds.) The insurance company will tell you that sentimental value is not part of the policy.

BTW, another item of jewelry with which this same thing occurs is old inherited pocket watches with the gold and silver cases. People invariably think that because they are old and gold they must be worth big bucks. As my claims supervisor showed me, you can go down to any good pawnshop and see piles of them in the display case for twenty bucks each.



That's a good indicator that you got a good deal. But even that leaves you with a break even situation, at best. (On the other hand, I know people who have bought relatively ordinary guns who have sold them years later for twice what they paid for them.)



And you would be wise to sell me your gun collection at the value I determined, too. If you do, I will praise your wisdom until the day you die. All things considered, it sounds to me like you are adequately wise without her advice.



I would agree that, based on this story, you are indeed a lucky guy. But don't buy diamonds often, lest your luck not hold up.

A few more pieces of good advice about insuring your jewelry.

If all you have is a standard homeowner's or renter's policy, they generally cover only losses from 17 specific perils. Payment for jewelry, cash, and similar items of high value will generally be limited to 500 dollars in total, unless it is a "scheduled" item (i.e., you bought special coverage just for it.) Thieves could take a million bucks in jewelry and you will get only 500 -- and I saw similar things happen with fair regularity.

In addition, they will only pay losses from the covered perils. For example, one of the perils is theft. "Theft" means that the object was taken from a known place at a known time under circumstances that indicate a theft.

For example, if someone breaks into your house, leaving a cut screen and broken window, and takes the ring along with other stuff, and you file a police report -- that's theft.

If you go to the beach and put the ring in your shoe and find it missing later, that is probably not theft. Why? Because there is a good possibility that it just fell out in the sand and you lost it. They don't cover "I just lost it."

If you go to a public bathroom to wash your hands and leave your ring laying on the sink and come back five minutes later to find it gone, that's probably not "theft", either. It could have been that you or someone else just accidentally knocked it into the garbage can and, again, it is just lost, not stolen.

If you leave it laying in the driveway and your car runs over it, that might be covered under damage by vehicles. If your 400 pound friend walks on it and crushes it into powder, that's not covered.

If you get an additional rider to cover the jewelry that will generally require an appraisal and possibly pictures, and will cost you about 4 bucks per thousand of value, IIRC. Note my earlier comment that, whatever the "appraised value" might be, they will pay the lesser of the appraised value or the actual replacement cost. Therefore, it doesn't do a lot of good to pay extra premiums for highly inflated appraised values. The appraisal is good for determining the quality of the stone, which can then be used to help them determine the fair replacement cost.

As a "scheduled" (specifically listed) item, it is covered for all risks, including losing the stone from the setting, a fractured or broken stone, or just dropping it in the sand at the beach. If the claim is for a fractured or broken stone, then they will probably want the old stone for salvage value if they have to pay you for it.

just back away slowly.  keep your hands in plan sight, and after your at least 25 yards away run as fast as you can!!

My first wife taught me all about the 4 C's. For our 5th I bought her a very nice ring.

When she divorced me, she gave the ring back to me. It was a pretty good investment. [coffee]

Pissed her off, but good. [argue][furious][cuss]

ED