Well, maybe it isn't wrecking it, but it does put a dull/numbness sensation in the back of my brain. Number 38 will not be remembered as one of my best.
Anyway, just past the 3 month mark of the required 6 months to get divorced. Tomorrow, have to go to Friend of the Court with my attorney and meet the wife with hers. Will hopefully get the child support matter settled. I'm actually looking forward to this (I think....depends on how it turns out) since my wife is asking for more money than what the State says she has coming to her. With a 50/50 joint physical custody case, the State says she should be entitled to $24/week; she wants $100/week. I don't know how she can get it, but you never know how these things will go.
Am still having a great time with the kids. Went bumper bowling last night with my sister, her husband, and their two kids. Had a blast. Thank God I get to see my two kids everyday, all day long (I fly at night so my days are totally open for the kids. Wife works during the day) and get them every other weekend for the full weekend.
Am still running 3 miles every other day and lifting weights the other day. Feel guilty if for some reason I can't get my work out. Guess it's a part of my life, now. Can't get over how many people have said, "Wow, you really look great!!"......wish I could make faster progress on my heart vs. my body. Oh well. Working out I know is definately helping my mental outlook.
I'm pretty sure my wife is seeing someone else, now. This is the hardest part of the whole thing, wondering if your wife is screwing someone else. About drives me crazy sometimes. Living across the street from her folks is a pain in the ass sometimes, since I have a constant reminder of my wife. Although, it could drive them crazy once I start bringing home someone else to my house, too!!
For now, I'm creating the illusion that I'm in a great mood to my wife and her parents, that this isn't getting my down, that I'm happy and doing fine with this, etc. Can't let them see how much this hurts me. Working hard to stay focused on the positive, to pick up the pieces, to be the best Dad I can to my kids. Need to stay focused.
Anyway, didn't mean to whine on my birthday. Just that Christmas and my birtday are/were tough times for the first time not having my wife. Thanks for listening.
vmax84