Yes, I know, it's a waste of time and I'm going to lose money.

I just want to figure out how to do it before I worry about that stuff.

HOW the hell do you get it to mine?

I've downloaded the miner from this site:

http://sourceforge.net/projects/cpuminer/files/pooler-cpuminer-2.3.2-win64.zip/download

I'm using this batch file:

minerd.exe -o stratum+tcp://doge.scryptpools.com:3333 -u USERNAME.WORKER_ID -p PASSWORD

Yet I get error messages saying it failed to connect to the server or some garbage.

What gives?

Bro, what kind of GPU are you using? The first thing I see wrong is that you have no values for your input. Also, do you have a wallet? This guy provides excellent tutorials via the youtubes-

tutorial, bro

Eta- Many bros attempt to discourage me in quest to mine glorious crypto currency. According to halal calculator, I am currently breaking even at current market value with a Nvidia GTX 660, and I'm not even overclocking (mining dogecoin). Inshallah you will find great success.

Values for my input?

You mean the username, worker name and password?

I just left them out for obvious privacy reasons.

I'm also not using a GPU, just the processor from my laptop. I know that is bad. I just want to figure out how this stuff works.

ETA:  I do have a wallet.

http://www.reddit.com/r/litecoinforbeginners/

http://www.reddit.com/r/litecoinforbeginners/

Damn, I can't much help you there then. I haven't been playing around long enough to figure out non-GPU usage.

When I said input, I mean this:

minerd.exe [certain variables that tell the mining program what to do with your GPU/CPU] -o stratum+tcp://doge.scryptpools.com:3333 -u USERNAME.WORKER_ID -p PASSWORD

I can't tell you off the top of my head what those variables would be, because idk how to mine with just a CPU. It is also very dependent on your personal setup from my understanding.

Maybe try googling "CPU mining bitcoin/dogecoin/litecoin" whatever it is you want to mine. I am currently mining dogecoin and litecoin, it seems that those are the only two you will get any return out of unless you have a Hulk smash gaming rig.

Try using the prompt for a CPU (make sure you add .exe to minerd, idk why it leaves that out) here

That config is designed for mining in a pool with other members of that site, but you can replace the info with the server you have.

Make sure you save the notepad file as a .bat file once you are done editing the configuration.

Inshallah this helps you.

Also, mining dogecoin may be worth it for you with a CPU at this point (depending on what type of processor your laptop has)

Remember bro, bitcoin wasnt worth shit either until about 3 years ago.