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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:18:33 AM EDT
My girlfriend is not great with money; she's getting better, but she's still stuck in a bad mentality.
Here's a recent example: She needs tires on her car. We were holding off while looking for a new car, but snow is upon us and she HAS to buy tires now. Last week she got a Christmas bonus check. I told her to go buy tires. She decided to send the money to her family in Mexico instead  That's all fine and dandy, but you can send them money AFTER you buy tires, I tell her.  The other day she asks me if she can use my Sam's Discover to buy an elliptical machine they have and says she will pay it off next week (I'm sure she would, she pays her bills no problem). I ask her if she has the money for tires put aside and she gets angry  I tell her I'm not going to argue with her, but she needs to purchase the tires before a fucking exercise machine. She stays mad, then, calls me from work yesterday (after having braved some un-plowed roads on her way in) and says she's going to buy tires Saturday  I mean c'mon. Tires are cheaper than the deductible on her insurance. WTF good is an elliptical if you can't go to work and pay for it? She has a decent salary and usually has some cash in her savings, but I guess she blew it all on Christmas...now she wants to just keep buying crap It's like she's a junkie. I had her responsible for a while and Christmas caused her to relapse Speed |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:20:19 AM EDT
[#1]
Sounds like a bad decision maker
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:21:04 AM EDT
[#2]
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:22:51 AM EDT
[#3]
Give her all your money to invest right fucking now.
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:23:06 AM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:
Sounds like a bad decision maker yep Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:23:29 AM EDT
[#5]
Quoted: Sounds like a bad decision maker Well, she's with me so... She had a real spending problem before we got together. She racked up credit cards on stupid shit and ruined her credit. I watched her walk into a grocery store and just grab whatever she wanted off the shelf and I about had a heart attack  I got her using coupons and shopping sales for groceries. I got her to budget her cash and save money, she got a couple small credit cards and pays them off every month to build her credit back up, but I haven't really been riding her for a while and I think it all went out the window with Christmas  Speed |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:25:04 AM EDT
[#6]
It's a woman and a car. As long as it starts every time you turn the key and the wheels (no matter the condition) go around, everything is fine.
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:25:27 AM EDT
[#7]
F5, waiting to decide
Rules man! |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:25:32 AM EDT
[#8]
Women would rather skid into a bridge abutment then spend money on 4 rubber doughnuts for a car. Just the way it is.
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:25:42 AM EDT
[#9]
Most people never have a person in their life that shows them how to make a budget.
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A BUDGET. Money comes in and gets allocated to various different budgets on a monthly basis. For instance: Income (after taxes) = $2000 [MONEY IN] ------------------------ Expenses: [MONEY OUT] Groceries = $500 Car Expenses = $250 Rent = $500 Utilities = $250 Spending/Hobbies = $250 ------------------------ Savings = $250 [WHAT'S LEFTOVER] |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:26:41 AM EDT
[#10]
Once you get married and she lets herself go, that elliptical machine will be the best investment you can make.
If my wife ever lets herself go, I will try to be subtle by having random exercise equipment just show up in the house. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:28:24 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
Last week she got a Christmas bonus check. I told her to go buy tires. She decided to send the money to her family in Mexico instead Call me a heartless bastard, but that right there is an eject-level red flag. A person who sends money overseas to their family is going to be at least one of two things: 1) Married, with one or more kids that they're not telling you about 2) Expect YOU to help out while they continue to send money there after you're married. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:28:27 AM EDT
[#12]
Quoted: Once you get married and she lets herself go, that elliptical machine will be the best investment you can make. If my wife ever lets herself go, I will try to be subtle by having random exercise equipment just show up in the house. Lol, I think it's ridiculous in itself. I mean, we live in a town full of hills and steps; just go for a fucking walk Speed |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:29:49 AM EDT
[#13]
Sounds like marriage material. Tell us how it works out.
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:31:18 AM EDT
[#14]
Sounds like she should never be upgraded to "wife" status IMO
Money problems are the #1 relationship killer. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:31:27 AM EDT
[#15]
Can she afford a camera? |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:33:22 AM EDT
[#16]
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:33:22 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted: Sounds like she should never be upgraded to "wife" status IMO Money problems are the #1 relationship killer. I know. We keep our money separate, and if we get married, it will stay that way. Actually, we have a pretty god division of labor going on in the house as well; we rarely argue, if at all. She has made a lot of progress with the money stuff, but it's disappointing to see her fall back into this mentality. Speed |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:33:25 AM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
My girlfriend never understood why the JiffyLube guys told her "The oil was off the dipstick" whenever she took her car in for its annual oil change. She drove ~15k/yr on that car. It's a woman and a car. As long as it starts every time you turn the key and the wheels (no matter the condition) go around, everything is fine.
Kharn |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:33:48 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
Can she afford a camera? This |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:33:50 AM EDT
[#20]
eject?
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:34:59 AM EDT
[#21]
I helped my gf buy a new car ( 'new' used car / 2008 Toyota Camry - her $4K my $8K = total $12K ) a few months ago and then I promptly replaced the 4 balding tires with 4 brand new Michelins from Costco for around $700.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to help them out. Mine is not the avg gf. Lived together 8yrs - bought a house together etc ... basically we are married / just not married yet. Was planning a wedding in Phillipines ... her mom passing last year kinda delayed that and I haven't brought the subject up again. For the leg humpers ... I have posted pics before ( you wanna see ??? you do the searchin'  )
ETA Be thankful she works and has a job in this economy |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:36:37 AM EDT
[#22]
Where the hell are the pics?
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:37:29 AM EDT
[#23]
So buy her some tires.
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:37:48 AM EDT
[#24]
I have never yet been with a woman in the past 30 years that was good with money. They were all broke and in a lot of debt. I'm still looking for one that is actually good with money.
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:41:09 AM EDT
[#25]
Most make the mistake "Once we get married things will get better" It wont. You are not helping her by bailing her out. Let her figure it out.
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:42:04 AM EDT
[#26]
Take it from a guy married three times - this will not get better.
My dad told me many years ago that good credit is the most valuable asset you can have, and you should do whatever you need to protect it. A woman who doesn't understand the value of a dollar is trouble. I'd be looking around for greener pastures if I were you. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:42:11 AM EDT
[#27]
if you must be her daddy now,you will be a hated stepfather later on...she will resent you and you will resent her for being an airhead...
find a girl with appropriate life skills that you can respect as an equal TRUST ME ON THIS...many years of being a slave to my pecker and many insane females have imparted wisdom upon me.. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:42:57 AM EDT
[#28]
Pretty much this. Find one less crazy. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:43:11 AM EDT
[#29]
Quoted: Most make the mistake "Once we get married things will get better" It wont. You are not helping her by bailing her out. Let her figure it out. Lol, I'm not bailing her out, and I'm not buying her tires . I don't really lend her money, or buy her things unless its a birthday or something.I'm not going down the road of "buy me this", or "can you lend me X"...I know where that leads Speed |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:43:58 AM EDT
[#30]
Quoted: My girlfriend is not great with money; she's getting better, but she's still stuck in a bad mentality. Here's a recent example: She needs tires on her car. We were holding off while looking for a new car, but snow is upon us and she HAS to buy tires now. Last week she got a Christmas bonus check. I told her to go buy tires. She decided to send the money to her family in Mexico instead That's all fine and dandy, but you can send them money AFTER you buy tires, I tell her. The other day she asks me if she can use my Sam's Discover to buy an elliptical machine they have and says she will pay it off next week (I'm sure she would, she pays her bills no problem). I ask her if she has the money for tires put aside and she gets angry I tell her I'm not going to argue with her, but she needs to purchase the tires before a fucking exercise machine.She stays mad, then, calls me from work yesterday (after having braved some un-plowed roads on her way in) and says she's going to buy tires Saturday I mean c'mon. Tires are cheaper than the deductible on her insurance. WTF good is an elliptical if you can't go to work and pay for it? She has a decent salary and usually has some cash in her savings, but I guess she blew it all on Christmas...now she wants to just keep buying crap It's like she's a junkie. I had her responsible for a while and Christmas caused her to relapse Speed Dude, I hate to say it, but this one is about good for just one thing. You oughta move on. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:44:39 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
Last week she got a Christmas bonus check. I told her to go buy tires. She decided to send the money to her family in Mexico instead
If my wife did that I would have a coronary. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:44:42 AM EDT
[#32]
Quoted: So buy her some tires. Says Dr. Moneybags. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:45:14 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted: Quoted: Sounds like she should never be upgraded to "wife" status IMO Money problems are the #1 relationship killer. I know. We keep our money separate, and if we get married, it will stay that way. Actually, we have a pretty god division of labor going on in the house as well; we rarely argue, if at all. She has made a lot of progress with the money stuff, but it's disappointing to see her fall back into this mentality. Speed  |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:45:39 AM EDT
[#34]
btdt i tried to help by setting up budgets and priorities and call in creditors, even lent her some money. got a slap in the face by the chick trying to steal money from me... that relationship cost me more than it was worth in both time and money... chick would borrow money for her bills then spend all sorts of cash on her niece...
if you get into a relationship with someone that has money problems it will be your problem regardless of how you handle your money... |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:45:50 AM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
Where the hell are the pics? ? |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:46:00 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted:
So buy her some tires. Or at least show her where the rubber meets the road. 
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:46:10 AM EDT
[#37]
So you are sticking with the relationship hoping and expecting her to change for you. Guess what, people don't generally change. Go read some of Swingset's posts about finding someone all the reasons he lists when it comes to people to avoid. Poor decision making in the past is one of them and guess what, you both are doing it. It almost seems like you want to be her white night, which means you aren't happy with everything in your own life so to feel better about yourself you try to fix someone else. I know that feeling because I used to be that way. It took a lot of bad relationships and counseling to figure that out. Do you find that most of your girlfriends typically need help or guidance? Guess what, that is because you seek them out. Fix yourself first before trying to fix someone else.
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:46:19 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Most make the mistake "Once we get married things will get better" It wont. You are not helping her by bailing her out. Let her figure it out. Lol, I'm not bailing her out, and I'm not buying her tires . I don't really lend her money, or buy her things unless its a birthday or something.
I'm not going down the road of "buy me this", or "can you lend me X"...I know where that leads
Speed I hope things work out! |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:48:14 AM EDT
[#39]
Quoted: btdt i tried to help by setting up budgets and priorities and call in creditors, even lent her some money. got a slap in the face by the chick trying to steal money from me... that relationship cost me more than it was worth in both time and money... chick would borrow money for her bills then spend all sorts of cash on her niece... if you get into a relationship with someone that has money problems it will be your problem regardless of how you handle your money... When he said "send it to Mexico", that was it for me. Money problems are one thing, money problems AND sending your money to Mexico??? |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:48:42 AM EDT
[#40]
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Sounds like she should never be upgraded to "wife" status IMO Money problems are the #1 relationship killer. I know. We keep our money separate, and if we get married, it will stay that way. Actually, we have a pretty god division of labor going on in the house as well; we rarely argue, if at all. She has made a lot of progress with the money stuff, but it's disappointing to see her fall back into this mentality. Speed Pretty funny him thinking finances separate after marriage is going to leave him all hunky dory no matter what she does on her side. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:48:52 AM EDT
[#41]
Quoted:
Women would rather skid into a bridge abutment then spend money on 4 rubber doughnuts for a car. Just the way it is. You must not have lived in the Rockies. The weekend warriors with their shitty tires trying get up the passes were almost always male. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:50:39 AM EDT
[#42]
I'm sure you care for her very much and she's probably a lot of fun and you think these things are just overlookable annoyances and it's really none of my business but...
It is NEVER a good idea to get a "fixer upper". As a person who has prided myself on being able to learn most of life's hard lessons by watching other people make them, so as to save myself the hassle and pain, this is one at the top of the heap: People don't change (almost never). The very best way to have a good mate and marraige is to find someone who already is, the way you'd wish them to be. It pays to be very picky, judgemental, and firm in your expectations/goals. It is far better to be lonely than to be miserable. (and broke). |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:51:20 AM EDT
[#43]
If she needs a spare tire, just drink more beer.
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:56:55 AM EDT
[#44]
I would suggest some financial/credit/budget councilling.
If she is not in agreement i would eject before a mistake is made and she accidentally winds up pregnant. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:57:50 AM EDT
[#45]
Quoted: Quoted: Sounds like a bad decision maker Well, she's with me so... She had a real spending problem before we got together. She racked up credit cards on stupid shit and ruined her credit. I watched her walk into a grocery store and just grab whatever she wanted off the shelf and I about had a heart attack I got her using coupons and shopping sales for groceries. I got her to budget her cash and save money, she got a couple small credit cards and pays them off every month to build her credit back up, but I haven't really been riding her for a while and I think it all went out the window with Christmas Speed Christmas can do that to Women. I haven't ask my wife for the Christmas accounting yet this year but when I do, That will be how the fight started. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:58:37 AM EDT
[#46]
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:58:44 AM EDT
[#47]
This relationship has fail written all over it.
Granted, we only have one side of the story, and only what you're telling us. But based off of only that, she sounds irresponsible. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 6:59:27 AM EDT
[#48]
Quoted:
I can personally testify to that. What you are seeing in this girl is best that it is going to get, and will probably get worse as time goes on.
I'm sure you care for her very much and she's probably a lot of fun and you think these things are just overlookable annoyances and it's really none of my business but... It is NEVER a good idea to get a "fixer upper". As a person who has prided myself on being able to learn most of life's hard lessons by watching other people make them, so as to save myself the hassle and pain, this is one at the top of the heap: People don't change (almost never). The very best way to have a good mate and marraige is to find someone who already is, the way you'd wish them to be. It pays to be very picky, judgemental, and firm in your expectations/goals. It is far better to be lonely than to be miserable. (and broke). |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 7:00:12 AM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
Sounds like she should never be upgraded to "wife" status IMO
Money problems are the #1 relationship killer. I read / heard recently that some people are verifying the credit score of a potential SO before they proceed past a certain point. |
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Posted: 12/28/2012 7:08:08 AM EDT
[#50]
I had a girlfriend like the OPs, would spend wildly on useless crap, she to needed tires on her car,she was riding on baldinis and told me it was no problem. Long story short, I pulled the eject lever on the relationship, less than1 month later
she wrecked due to hydroplaning in the rain on the highway, once she was out of the hospital I had to be a dick and tell her I told you so. Pulling the eject lever is a lot cheaper than a divorce lawyer . |
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