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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:13:28 AM EDT
[#1]
Assuming you want to die slow: directly
Assuming you want to die quickly: VERY carefully Assuming you want to live: NEVER |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:15:16 AM EDT
[#2]
In what way? In her physical appearance as far as weight? if so, BOTH of you join a gym. If it is the clothes she wears, be a nice guy and tell her she gets the weekend off from chores, YOU do the laundry and throw in a RED sock or two and make sure the washer is set to "HOT."
Clothes will have to be replaced. Simple solution. One thing I have learned about women. If you insult them, they NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER forget it.... EVER! Like the one time I called my EX FIANCE a "Fat Butterhog" ... Did I mention she was my "EX"? Kidding I never called her that... Although she did earn the term "MEGABITCH" and she knows it...she even admitted it too. [BD] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:15:28 AM EDT
[#3]
Quoted: Assuming you want to die slow: directly Assuming you want to die quickly: VERY carefully Assuming you want to live: NEVER Amen to that!!! |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:16:56 AM EDT
[#4]
Try reverse psychology. Dress like a slob yourself on the weekends. Do what you perceive she's doing, but just a little worse. Do it for a while... then dress somewhat nicer one weekend and make the overt comment that it feels nice to look a little better than a slob.
;) |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:18:32 AM EDT
[#5]
honestly, you don't. you accept her as she is or you decide to find someone else (assuming she's just a gf) to fit your requirements.
i'll tell you what made me start dressing up again: i got lots of compliments when i looked good and none (obviously) when i was more casually dressed. she notice the compliments, believe me. she'll dress up more to get them, but also (and this is generally a bigger reason) to please you because she knows you like her dressed up. compliments work wonders. criticism, no matter how nicely you try to phrase it, tends to backfire. just a note though: have you thought about what you're doing now that is different from what you were doing when you first met her? perhaps you aren't exactly the same man either. it's perfectly okay to want her to be something she was, but at least be honest about where you are too. i think both partners in most couples "casualize" their relationships. |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:20:28 AM EDT
[#6]
"Hey, Mike's wife has the same exact outfit!! Makes her ass look big too!"
[BD] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:22:50 AM EDT
[#7]
If you want to remain with her and, assuming that it is only the way she dresses, just keep cleaning your weapons and say nothing. If it is a cleanliness thing, offer to shower with her, if she refuses begin looking elsewhere...
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:23:04 AM EDT
[#8]
Quoted: honestly, you don't. you accept her as she is or you decide to find someone else (assuming she's just a gf) to fit your requirements. i'll tell you what made me start dressing up again: i got lots of compliments when i looked good and none (obviously) when i was more casually dressed. she notice the compliments, believe me. she'll dress up more to get them, but also (and this is generally a bigger reason) to please you because she knows you like her dressed up. compliments work wonders. criticism, no matter how nicely you try to phrase it, tends to backfire. just a note though: have you thought about what you're doing now that is different from what you were doing when you first met her? perhaps you aren't exactly the same man either. it's perfectly okay to want her to be something she was, but at least be honest about where you are too. i think both partners in most couples "casualize" their relationships. ARLady is right. (Who am I to disagree with an armed female? [;)]) All joking aside, she really IS right, you know. Perhaps I should do the same thing she suggests... |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:24:24 AM EDT
[#9]
Definitely a tough one. Like DrFrige, it's important to know whether you're talking about clothing, etc. or physical shape.
Here'e a suggestion though. You dress nicely and keep your appearance up and try to get as many pictures of you together as you can. Then maybe when she sees the pictures, she'll realize how much better you always look. Good luck, and make sure if you say anything to her about it you do it in a public place with plenty of witnesses. I suggest a police station or hospital. |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:24:50 AM EDT
[#10]
How about swapping her in for a newer model.
[;)] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:28:15 AM EDT
[#11]
ARLady is right. You'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar....
(when I say that in my head is comes through in my dad's voice for some reason.) CrashBurnRepeat PS-Oh another thing, like one of the posters mentioned, if you say anything negative or to hurt her feelings, she'll NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER forget it and she will ALWAYS AND FOREVER use it against you. So just don't or you'll be [BD] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:31:35 AM EDT
[#12]
My advise, is you don't say anything.
I have been in a similar situation. My live-in g/f of 6+ yrs gained a lot of weight due to depression, medication and inactivity. She knew that she was heavy and needed to improve her health and habits. Any comment from me would have not helped the situation one bit. She changed medication, her disposition and attitude has been much better and she has taken the time to head to the gym, modify her habits and thanked me for my support. Since 1Jan02, she has lost 35# and 15 more to go to hit her goal. Be supportive and let her know you love her, unconditionally. She doesn't need her b/f guilting her to lose the weight. Best of luck; -934 |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:35:56 AM EDT
[#13]
My wife of 10 years, does that as well, but the difference is that I know how much she hates to have to wear pantyhose and have perfect makeup 5 days a week, so I feel that she DESERVES a couple of days off...
Women have a lot more "primping" to have to do, and therefore you need to take her reasoning into consideration as well. Before you begin to judge her appearance, YOU wear pantyhose and makeup for awhile, and then compate results with her. Personally, I have no problem with my wife opting for the "relaxed" look at home, because she should be allowed to feel relaxed in her home! |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:38:11 AM EDT
[#14]
Let me add that you should be pleased that she is comfortable enough around you, to let her hair down, so to speak... Not all women are like that, and [u]they[/u] tend to have issues that will preclude them from doing so!
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:44:12 AM EDT
[#15]
Quoted: Before you begin to judge her appearance, YOU wear pantyhose and makeup for awhile, and then compare results with her. I cannot let this opportunity pass!!! anti is this personal experience talking here? [}:D] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:46:55 AM EDT
[#16]
It's interesting how so many of you seem to referring to this as a weight issue, but "lojack" never once mentioned weight in his post!
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:49:21 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted: Basically, how do you tell your gf or wife that they are not keeping theirself up like they use to when you first met them. I dont want to hurt feelings, but i am tired of my woman always dressing way down at home and looks all nice for when she goes to work and on the weekend looks like hell warmed over later lojack Maybe she's trying to tell YOU something about your appearance![:P] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:57:48 AM EDT
[#18]
IF it is the way she dresses:
-Just talk to her. IF it is the fact that she has packed on a few extra pounds: -Ask her if she would like you to work harder at your job, which would give you a raise to better provide for the family. (Her answer: yes) -Ask her if she would like you to change the oil in the cars every 3000 miles or every 678,000 miles. (She'll probably like the 3000 mile thing...) Now, the tricky part: Ask her WHY. Her answer will be so things last longer, and you both can live better and last longer. Now that she has shot herself in the foot, tell her her obsity is going to vause her to not live such a healthy, long life. Ergo, she will die earlier than a healthy, skinny person would. Tell her if you were overweight, you would die sooner, and wouldn't be around to serve each other. (The whole marriage vow thing...) |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 9:59:45 AM EDT
[#19]
Maybe she's having an affair at the office (that's a joke!!!!)
On a more serious note, try taking her out to nice places. Then she'll have to dress up a bit to conform. If that doesn't work, try the red sock in the wash.... [;D] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:00:35 AM EDT
[#20]
The answer is: you don't. [:D]
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:07:02 AM EDT
[#21]
Clothes don't mean squat. Just keep remembering what's UNDER those garments.
AB |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:13:02 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted: IF it is the way she dresses: -Just talk to her. IF it is the fact that she has packed on a few extra pounds: -Ask her if she would like you to work harder at your job, which would give you a raise to better provide for the family. (Her answer: yes) -Ask her if she would like you to change the oil in the cars every 3000 miles or every 678,000 miles. (She'll probably like the 3000 mile thing...) Now, the tricky part: Ask her WHY. Her answer will be so things last longer, and you both can live better and last longer. Now that she has shot herself in the foot, tell her her obsity is going to vause her to not live such a healthy, long life. Ergo, she will die earlier than a healthy, skinny person would. Tell her if you were overweight, you would die sooner, and wouldn't be around to serve each other. (The whole marriage vow thing...) oh, yeah, manipulate her into one correct response. that's sure to work. [;D] i'm telling you guys, if it is a weight issue, which i'm not so sure it is, even hinting that it's a problem is going to make things worse, not better. the first four years of our relationship, matt pestered me about my weight. my reaction: "screw you pal. you'll either love me as i am (extra pounds and all) or not at all." i never lost the weight. then wham. he moves his skinny butt out to phoenix and we don't see each other for months on end. funny how my weight no longer seemed important to him. and the minute he stopped making my weight a deal maker/breaker, i wanted to lose it for him. and i did. and you guys say women nag about things! [;)] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:14:51 AM EDT
[#23]
As long as she is still putting out, be greatful.
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:18:16 AM EDT
[#24]
I not saying that she is all fat now. She is phat. But now she just pulls her hair back in apony tail and calls it a day. No make up, no tight jeans, no sexy skirts or dresses, just the same ol crappy shorts and shirts on the weekend. An no i am not looking like a slob myself. I get my hair cut every 2 -3 weeks (short hair, i have to do it, nails clean, body clean etc. I might wear jeans and a t-shirt to the mall, but it is a nice t shirt and nice jeans. I just think that she is letting herself go. I personally think that if she is suppose to dress up for anyone it should be me and not just the people that she works with.
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:18:33 AM EDT
[#25]
My first wife went down that path.....I divorced her.....not just for that...but it contributed to it..She didn't get fat, she just quit fricking trying..
I don't know what it is with them some times.....some women just say, to hell with it and quit grooming. My bride (now and forever) can't believe that when we take my daughter home, that the ex doesn't get dressed up and fixed up..she says "If my ex was coming over, I'd make sure he knew what he divorced, and if his new girl was there with him, I'd really go for it!" |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:19:41 AM EDT
[#26]
Quoted: I not saying that she is all fat now. She is phat. But now she just pulls her hair back in apony tail and calls it a day. No make up, no tight jeans, no sexy skirts or dresses, just the same ol crappy shorts and shirts on the weekend. An no i am not looking like a slob myself. I get my hair cut every 2 -3 weeks (short hair, i have to do it, nails clean, body clean etc. I might wear jeans and a t-shirt to the mall, but it is a nice t shirt and nice jeans. I just think that she is letting herself go. I personally think that if she is suppose to dress up for anyone it should be me and not just the people that she works with. I think you need to re-read my first post! |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:33:46 AM EDT
[#27]
Offer to take her clothes shopping.(ARGH! I know)
Works every time. Give a little to get a little. Go into the dressing room with her and complement her when she tries things on. |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:49:21 AM EDT
[#28]
dude, give her a reason to look good. tell her you are taking her to a nice dinner. when you first see her after she gets dressed up, act like she is the most beautiful thing you ever saw. give her almost constant attention to how good she looks. she'll feel so much about the good attention.
every time she's dressed nice, give her tons of compliments. If she's not dressed up, don't say anything. She'll figure it out. most women love positive attention, so use this to your advantage. |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:50:52 AM EDT
[#29]
OH MY GOD!! i had the exact same problem.
Welp, this is gonna sound mean but hear me out. this will solve your dilema. after months of hints to look nice. then several additional months of offering to take her shopping for clothes and buying expensive exercise equipment, then finally all out brutal truthfull assualts-i did the unthinkable. i simply cheated on on her... and had ZERO regrets about it! if my cheating meant the breakdown of commitment, then her commitment broke down long before mine did. contrary to female beliefs, commitment isn't just keeping both partie's naughty bits to eachother. commitment means far more than that. she lost her commitment to keep me happy! i was totally turned off by her and she new it, and did nothing to turn things around. so i cheated (not sex, but some serious heavy petting) on her with a very classy sharp looking girl. IT WAS AWESOME!!! we broke off our 4 year relationship shortly after (she never found out). when i date girls now, i simply tell them that i will do everything to keep them happy & satisfied, and give them my total devotion. but: "if you let yourself go, don't be surprised if you see me out on the town with some girl that resembled YOU when we first started dating!!!!" now go kick some ass!!! |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:51:08 AM EDT
[#30]
Absolute cold fricking truth...that's what every
woman tells you they want...but why listen to me...I am divorced...although my new girlfriend is the sun and the moon and the stars...so I did something right.... |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 10:58:02 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted: dude, give her a reason to look good. tell her you are taking her to a nice dinner. when you first see her after she gets dressed up, act like she is the most beautiful thing you ever saw. give her almost constant attention to how good she looks. she'll feel so much about the good attention. every time she's dressed nice, give her tons of compliments. If she's not dressed up, don't say anything. She'll figure it out. most women love positive attention, so use this to your advantage. gee, that sounds familiar! [:D] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 11:34:47 AM EDT
[#32]
Ok, the dinner or going out thing is out the window. She has 2 kids from a previous marriage and the father is a total loser. anyhow, it is extremely and i do mean extremely difficult to find a sitter. and when we do, we cant have a good time cause she is totally freakin about the kids.
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Posted: 8/2/2002 11:56:22 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted: This is a touchy subject that most of us have wanted to say at one time in their life. Basically, how do you tell your gf or wife that they are not keeping theirself up like they use to when you first met them. I dont want to hurt feelings, but i am tired of my woman always dressing way down at home and looks all nice for when she goes to work and on the weekend looks like hell warmed over. Im not asking her to be a super on the weekends, just look nice. later lojack are we talking looking nice phyisically? or just the way she dresses. if you talkin about she needs to go run the track, then dont say it directly....just go outside one day and ask her to go on a walk. get behind her and slowly start jogging. this will eventually get her to go faster and before you know it, you'll both be running. then the pounds will come off of both of you. now if your talking about clothing style, i cant help you |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 11:59:28 AM EDT
[#34]
Quoted: Ok, the dinner or going out thing is out the window. She has 2 kids from a previous marriage and the father is a total loser. anyhow, it is extremely and i do mean extremely difficult to find a sitter. and when we do, we cant have a good time cause she is totally freakin about the kids. i don't remember where in my suggestion you are required to have a dinner outside of the home. pay off the kids to behave in their rooms while you cook a romantic dinner for her at home. on the flipside, i love excuses because i love to find solutions to them: no grandparents? (with at least 3 parents--2 biological and you) there aren't any grandparents that would take them for an evening? no other family members? do your kids not have friends whose parents might be willing to take them for the evening (you know, pay their way and a little more for a movie and dinner at a burger joint and then pick them up around 10) or have them over night? i guess i should ask how old the kids are. as for her freakin' out: tell her that she's allowed to call to check up once during the night to help alleviate her fears. but other than that, she's supposed to focus on having a good time and enjoying herself! of course, it's not a demand, it's just trying to help her focus on the good time without telling her she can't worry about the kids. that's why you build in the "one call to check up". you're validating her parental concerns. (on a more serious note: sounds like she suffers from separation anxiety. the kids are young but not babies, right? less than 10 or 12? sounds like getting out is just the thing she needs to help her overcome that. ) geez, am i the only one who sees an endless list of positives that could happen here? |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 12:02:36 PM EDT
[#35]
Quoted: Quoted: This is a touchy subject that most of us have wanted to say at one time in their life. Basically, how do you tell your gf or wife that they are not keeping theirself up like they use to when you first met them. I dont want to hurt feelings, but i am tired of my woman always dressing way down at home and looks all nice for when she goes to work and on the weekend looks like hell warmed over. Im not asking her to be a super on the weekends, just look nice. later lojack are we talking looking nice phyisically? or just the way she dresses. if you talkin about she needs to go run the track, then dont say it directly....just go outside one day and ask her to go on a walk. get behind her and slowly start jogging. this will eventually get her to go faster and before you know it, you'll both be running. then the pounds will come off of both of you. now if your talking about clothing style, i cant help you will never work because she's being "forced" or "manipulated" into doing it. and it's only a one time thing. she has to want to do it herself (without him pushing her from behind) in order to keep it up so that there are results. besides, depending on how overweight a person is, jogging can terrible stress the joints. that's a lot of weight bouncing on knees and ankles and it isn't a good thing. |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 12:14:18 PM EDT
[#36]
Wow, ARlady you have some good advice. Well stats:
Kid 1: 5 Kid 2: 2 Grandparents live in other states. Her friends all have 2 kids and around the same age. It would be a lot to have them stay over. Father never sees the kids or does anything with them. We do not have family here. Im gonna have to have to use that one call rule too. thanks |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 12:19:48 PM EDT
[#37]
Quoted: Kid 1: 5 Kid 2: 2 Grandparents live in other states. Got Fed-EX..? At that age, they should be small enough to ship in the same box, thus cutting down on expenses! [}:D] |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 12:33:34 PM EDT
[#38]
Well my wife and I tend to sort out our clothes every few months. If we haven't worn something in months it goes to goodwill. If its torn broken or stained, into the trash it goes.
Then we go out and buy something new (not expensive) or even go to Goodwill or Walmart and see what they have. I tell her I like to watch her try on clothes (its the truth) and she asks does this work and I say yes or no. My guess is she likes to garage sale as much as my wife does... use that to your advantage. And don't forget, we all like to feel comfortable during the weekend. :-) Talk to ya later... PS: If the father won't pay child support, turn him over to child services (or whatever they call it there) |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 12:36:46 PM EDT
[#39]
Funny you should ask. Just tell her. I actually was wishing my wife would lose some weight after having our kid, but I know having a kid is hard plus taking care of it and all. But sheesh, after over a year later, still the same. So I cut down on the sex I gave her. When she complained, I said she should lose weight and that would help. She has lost over 30 lbs so far!!! Woo hoo. And yes this method only works if you are good in the sack suckaz [:D]
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Posted: 8/2/2002 12:41:53 PM EDT
[#40]
This is officially the most depressing thread I've ever read on ar15.com. How exactly is she dressing that's bringing you down, hoss? Is she dressing in a moomoo and curlers with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth while around the house?
Sounds like you need to dump her and go find a complicated high maintenance woman that would be more to your liking. Sheesh. Do you know how hard it is to find a woman that isn't so caught up in pretense that she feels comfortable being around you? And yet all you can do is say "She dresses up for work and not for me!" You sound like a child. Grow up and quit being a baby. From the way it sounds, you could honestly give a crap about her. You just care that she doesn't dress up like a Barbie doll for you. And that is truly sad. Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas... |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 12:57:04 PM EDT
[#41]
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: This is a touchy subject that most of us have wanted to say at one time in their life. Basically, how do you tell your gf or wife that they are not keeping theirself up like they use to when you first met them. I dont want to hurt feelings, but i am tired of my woman always dressing way down at home and looks all nice for when she goes to work and on the weekend looks like hell warmed over. Im not asking her to be a super on the weekends, just look nice. later lojack are we talking looking nice phyisically? or just the way she dresses. if you talkin about she needs to go run the track, then dont say it directly....just go outside one day and ask her to go on a walk. get behind her and slowly start jogging. this will eventually get her to go faster and before you know it, you'll both be running. then the pounds will come off of both of you. now if your talking about clothing style, i cant help you will never work because she's being "forced" or "manipulated" into doing it. and it's only a one time thing. she has to want to do it herself (without him pushing her from behind) in order to keep it up so that there are results. besides, depending on how overweight a person is, jogging can terrible stress the joints. that's a lot of weight bouncing on knees and ankles and it isn't a good thing. ya...your probly right. considering i am not marred and have no g/f right now....what the hell do i know ? |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 1:02:00 PM EDT
[#42]
Stop beatin 'round the bush, GBT - say what ya really mean [:D]
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Posted: 8/2/2002 1:07:36 PM EDT
[#43]
Quoted: ya...your probly right. considering i am not marred and have no g/f right now....what the hell do i know? well, i wondered, but didn't want to say anything. [:D] i didn't dispute it for argumentative purposes. i just know from experience that she has to do it for her own reasons and can't be "tricked," "forced," or "manipulated" into doing it. |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 1:08:47 PM EDT
[#44]
It might be me, but I'm not seeing the problem here. If I have a complaint with the way my wife dresses, it's that she wears too much!
Her idea of casual is a lot nicer than mine - but my casual is often found underneath houses and trucks. I have (count 'em here) ONE suit, my tux, and ONE set of Class A's for occasionas requiring it. Dressup? I'm actually tired of hearing compliments when I have to dress for a formal or an interview - I LIKE wearing what I usually wear. What do I usually wear? Shorts, sandals, no shirt - until it dips to about 40. Then I look for a shirt. I guess I'm a nudist at heart. I get complaints when I go somewhere that I didn't button up my shirt (be happy I'm wearing the damn thing - it gets in my way,) at which point I usually turn around and leave. I'm talking about places like parts houses and hardware stores, here... The ones that I go to are the ones that don't kvetch about my appearance. Meanwhile, I need to get some people out of my house so I can go nude for a while (I find clothing draining...) FFZ |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 1:09:44 PM EDT
[#45]
just let her know where she stands:
"Close your legs, Maw, so's I kin smell if ol' Spot needs a bath." |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 1:14:05 PM EDT
[#46]
Quoted: Stop beatin 'round the bush, GBT - say what ya really mean [:D] I do try. [;D] On a serious note, it just irks me. I dated all types of high maintenance women who made my life hell. Then I met my wife, and it was the most comfortable I've ever been in a relationship. Sure, we still have our problems as any normal relationship will, but ultimately I'm as happy as can be with my marriage. She loves me because of who I am and the way I act, not the clothes I wear. She's given birth to our beautiful children and asked for nothing but my devotion in return, which I gladly give. It doesn't bother me she still carries some of the weight from our second child. Hell, she got it by giving me the greatest gifts ever! And I know that if I lost an arm, or was horribly disfigured in an accident she'd still love me, and I feel the same way about her. She feels like home. So when I hear some guy complaining because his wife/girlfriend dresses down on the weekends, I can only believe that he's not concerned with anything important in his relationship. If you want a Barbie, then go play with the dolls in the toy store. If you want love, you need to start looking deeper than shorts and a t-shirt. If you watch all the crap she has to go through to dress up like that for work, you begin to understand what a pain it is. I can shit, shower, and shave, then put a 3 piece suit on and be ready to go out the door in about 30 minutes. It takes my wife that long just to do her hair! Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas... |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 1:14:12 PM EDT
[#47]
I told my wife before I married her that if she got really FAT I would still love her.......but I wouldn't live with her.
As far as a woman keeping herself "made up", she needs to feel wanted, romanced and special. Do you put the same effort into romancing you wife as when you were single? Of course you don't. Does she look as good as when you were single? Of course she doesn't. See the trend here? Put the kids to bed early one night, get dressed up and go sit on the back porch with a bottle of wine and some flowers. Savor the moment. Talk a little, tell her how much she means to you. Let your macho guard down a little and say nice stuff that is HARD for you to say. Marriage is not easy brother but divorce is harder then staying married. The best of luck to you and your wife/gf. |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 1:50:07 PM EDT
[#48]
And don't forget, we all like to feel comfortable during the weekend. :-) Very true. lojack, are you sure she feels ok? Is she more tired on the weekends than she used to be? My wife never complains, and about 15 years ago, she started letting herself go on weekends. My wife used to dress-up on Saturdays and Sundays just in case someone stopped by. After several months of it getting progressively worse, I finally found-out that she hadn't been feeling well. After a trip to the doctor and a quick blood test, we found-out that her hemoglobin was dangerously low. After having a female problem fixed and taking iron, she was back to normal. So, are you sure it isn't something physical that's not right? If she doesn't feel well, she isn't going to do to any extra work. If it isn't something physical, then just give her a reason to dress-up. Sitting at home watching TV isn't going to work. Also don't tell her "I don't like it when you wear clothes like that." Tell her what you do like. I noticed a long time ago that my wife figured-out that trick. No longer does she tell me she doesn't like a particular shirt. Now when I wear something she does like, she tells me.z |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 1:59:09 PM EDT
[#49]
Just tell her what is on your mind. You will hurt her feelings no matter what, who cares about that, feelings come and go, this may sound cold, but dont let the mindset of that you are afraid to say something because you are afraid to hurt her feelings. She is a women, she will have her feelings hurt, so what, strap on a pair of balls and let her know how you feel. In a relationship women should be just as concerned about mens feelings on issues, just as men should be to womens feelings on issues. But if you dont talk about the issues, well after a period of time you wont have a relationship.
Me personally I am all for the upfront and just tell it how it is approach. This is my personality, I dont beat around the bush about things, I have learned over time that this offends some,I dont really care, it is better to tell it how it is, tell the truth, then not say anything at all. I have learned how to try to be soft about saying things and this has helped, but I still am upfront and tell it like it is. People who know me know that if something is on my mind I will let them know. In todays world men need to grow up and be men. If women cannot handle this, so be it, dont be with that women, find another. I know if I had to date in todays market of women, I would probably not date. Women today are to self centered and full of arogance. Young women today in my opinion dont know how to take care of a man. They are not interested in meeting the needs of the mate, they are to interested in fullfililng there own desires.Our culture has produced a generation of women who are so self centered and careear minded that relationship prioritys seem to take a back seat. Just be up front and honest with her. Or go find another women because if you cannot be honest with her then she is not worth being with period. |
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Posted: 8/2/2002 2:13:40 PM EDT
[#50]
Quoted: Just be up front and honest with her. Or go find another women because if you cannot be honest with her then she is not worth being with period. i think is more appropo: "go find another womAn because if he cannot be honest with her the [i][red]he[/red][/i] is not worth being with?" why blame her for his inability to communicate? disclaimer: i do not think lojack is not worth being with. |
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