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Posted: 7/9/2002 8:02:45 AM EDT
This is related to another thread but I didnt want it to get buried on pg.2.
A friend of mine told me this so take it with a grain of salt or any lawyers out there want to comment?
When he was about to get hitched, he was having dinner with a lawyer buddy. The guy asked him if he thought it would last and how long. My Bud says about four years.
This lawyer guy advises him not to have a big wedding but to elope and get married in the Carribean. He does.
Two years later, the bitch decides to leave and take his shit. He says no and she says watch me.
Well, as it turns out, whatever State he was in will recognize a marriage from another country and will allow you to divorce BUT will not allow you to contest it in court. So she gets a divorce but not his shit.
Not real sure of the details, he told me this story over a couple beers.
Any lawyers care to comment?
BP
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 8:31:51 AM EDT
[#1]
Im no atty.But I have a good one.I have been told there are some states better to get hitched (for US guys)in than others though.PRE_NUP PRE_NUP PRE_NUP,who in their right mind would get married with all it entails for a expectancy of 4 years?
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 8:39:27 AM EDT
[#2]
Let me get this straight...Your buddy intentionally entered a marriage thinking it would last only 4 years max?  What a freaking moron!!!  He should give her everything based on his sceer stupidity.  Marriage is a vow...it's for life.  WHy enter marriage if you plan to end it?  I just don't get it I guess.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 9:21:39 AM EDT
[#3]
Quoted:
Let me get this straight...Your buddy intentionally entered a marriage thinking it would last only 4 years max?  What a freaking moron!!!  He should give her everything based on his sceer stupidity.  Marriage is a vow...it's for life.  WHy enter marriage if you plan to end it?  I just don't get it I guess.

Sgtar15
View Quote


I have to agree with Sgtar15 on this one.  I would check the laws in my state before considering this.  In MI, when a couple divorces, the division of assets has to be equitable, not equal.  If you marry some rich guy for a few years, sit on your ass, and divorce him, you probably won't get much.  You certainly won't get half.  

BTW, not a lawyer, but a law student, so I am sure there are others that can explain this far better.
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 9:26:13 AM EDT
[#4]
Well, I AM a lawyer, but not a divorce lawyer, too dangerous for me.

Smells like BULLSHIT to me, but that's not surprising since the guy also claims to have gone into a marriage expecting it to last only 4 years.

You know the guy, we don't, but you should ask yourself if ANYONE ever thought they'd be married only 4 years, but still went through with it.

Sure, now that she dumped his ass, it's easy to say he knew it was coming, but why would he even bother?

I don't believe any of it.
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 12:58:45 PM EDT
[#5]
I think the divorce rates are somewhere around 50%. I think the average failed marriage also lasts about 4 years.Just by the numbers, everyone who gets married is looking at a 4 year stint then divorce, half the time.
Why would anyone get married? We do a lot of things in the name of love...most of them not really smart.
Your living in a fantasy world if you dont at least ask yourself the question. What you do with answer is up to you.
How would you ever know, if you didnt risk it?I figured mine would last 8 or 10 years. It lasted 4. MY vow was forever, HERS wasnt.Same in his case.
The guy is a realist,I think.
He's a pretty straight shooter, not a bulshitter.
BP
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 1:02:00 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
Let me get this straight...Your buddy intentionally entered a marriage thinking it would last only 4 years max?  What a freaking moron!!!  He should give her everything based on his sceer stupidity.  Marriage is a vow...it's for life.  WHy enter marriage if you plan to end it?  I just don't get it I guess.

Sgtar15
View Quote


I buy underwear planning on more than a four year relationship with it.

Tho not consecutively.
[BD]

Link Posted: 7/9/2002 1:03:24 PM EDT
[#7]
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 1:06:05 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
I think the divorce rates are somewhere around 50%. I think the average failed marriage also lasts about 4 years.Just by the numbers, everyone who gets married is looking at a 4 year stint then divorce, half the time.
Why would anyone get married? We do a lot of things in the name of love...most of them not really smart.
Your living in a fantasy world if you dont at least ask yourself the question. What you do with answer is up to you.
The guy is a realist,I think.
He's a pretty straight shooter, not a bulshitter.
BP
View Quote


Wait one.

There was a 50% divorce rate when I got maried, too, but I DID NOT think my marriage would end in divorce, let alone after only four years.

It's one thing to cite the statistics and be realistic about the odds, it's entirely another to tell someone, let alone think to yourself, that you feel a marriage you are contemplating will last "about four years."

Do you really think he was acting out of blind love when he married someone he thought he'd only be with for 4 years?

Sniff, sniff...

Edited to add, why would "anyone" get married?

I'd venture to say NOT because the thought it would last only 4 years.
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 1:38:34 PM EDT
[#9]
I don't think it matters if you were married in Vegas, Mexico, or a big cathedral, you are either married, or you're not.  

Some state's have common law marriages, some do not.  If you weren't married by an ordained minister, justice of the peace, etc., then either party may have grounds to contest they were actually married.  Once marriage is established you are; otherwise you're not.

Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, and Washington are community property states.  That means that if you are married, your spouse is considered to have earned 1/2 of your income and you are considered to have earned 1/2 of their income.  If your spouse is unemployed, then she gets 1/2 of your income and you get nothing.  Purchases (TV, computer, guns, etc.) made during the marriage are 1/2 hers and 1/2 yours unless they are a gift (the $2500 ring you gave her is hers alone; the $14 sweatshirt she gave you is yours to keep).

A home purchased during the marriage is 1/2 each, regardless of who actually pays the mortgage.  For a home purchased before the marriage, equity accrued during the marriage is shared.  Like gifts, inheritence is not subject to community property.  If you inherit anything, keep that money separate.  E.g., separate accounts, track and document the source of funds.  Keep the interest or income for your separate assets separate.  If you comingle your separate and community property, you have just given her 1/2 of what you had before the marriage.

Most important, posession is not 9/10th, but 10 tenths of the law.  If you get kicked out of your own home and she has posession of the guns, furniture, etc. she can steal your half and get away with it.  If you have guns given you by your father or gransfather when you were 11 years old and they are now dead, how are you going to prove you had them for 20 years before you were married?

My point is even your separate property acquired before marriage is not protected during a divorce in a community property state unless you have a prenuptual.  Even then, some women become greedy and will do and say anything to get as much as possible.  

Good luck.
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 1:42:15 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
 Marriage is a vow...it's for life.  WHy enter marriage if you plan to end it?  
Sgtar15
View Quote


I agree.  For some idiots though, everything is disposable.  I really dislike idiots like that.
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 1:47:11 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
Let me get this straight...Your buddy intentionally entered a marriage thinking it would last only 4 years max?  What a freaking moron!!!  He should give her everything based on his sceer stupidity.  Marriage is a vow...it's for life.  WHy enter marriage if you plan to end it?  I just don't get it I guess.

Sgtar15
View Quote


She must have been really hot, but a bitch. She probibly said, "no more poontang if you dont marry me"
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 2:24:10 PM EDT
[#12]
Right on stgar15! There has got to be a test developed for a marriage license. Question 1 "How long do you think it will last?"  Any answer under lifetime should void the right to marriage!
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 2:35:24 PM EDT
[#13]
Is there some protection for assets that you already had when you got married?  Basically, if I have $10,000 in guns, and I get married, and 4 years later get divorced, what was mine before marriage is STILL mine, right?


That's why I am in NO rush to get married... buy all my toys and not have anyone bitching at me for it.  :)

Link Posted: 7/9/2002 2:38:55 PM EDT
[#14]
With out a prenup all here becomes communal property, to include the before stuff. Hell a friend of mine lost the house his folks left him, and he had years before the marriage.
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 2:46:32 PM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
I think the divorce rates are somewhere around 50%. I think the average failed marriage also lasts about 4 years.Just by the numbers, everyone who gets married is looking at a 4 year stint then divorce, half the time.
Why would anyone get married? We do a lot of things in the name of love...most of them not really smart.
Your living in a fantasy world if you dont at least ask yourself the question. What you do with answer is up to you.
How would you ever know, if you didnt risk it?I figured mine would last 8 or 10 years. It lasted 4. MY vow was forever, HERS wasnt.Same in his case.
The guy is a realist,I think.
He's a pretty straight shooter, not a bulshitter.
BP
View Quote


Friend set himself up for failure. Need to take your time before you get married think with your brain.  You should get an idea or signs of what your future wife will be like.  People rarely change that much.  I think if most guys were honest they would say they saw some of those flaky signs in their girlfriends but they chose to ignore them. I think girls are probably worse at this though thinking "I can change him after we get married"
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 3:08:51 PM EDT
[#16]
Pull up a chair, [b]captainpooby[/b], you've come to the right place for divorce law advice!

I used to practice family law, for about ten years, until ten death threats and two bleeding ulcers brought me to my senses!

I still have yet to lose a custody case![:D]

But I don't do that any longer, it's too much stress on your own marriage!

After the divorce, EVERYONE hates you! The Kidz hate you cause you're the only reason Mom and Dad aren't still together (Kidz, do you know what 'oral copulation' means? Ask Miz Hardbody, your Dad's secretary about it someday and open your eyes!)[:D]

The Wife hates you 'cause you didn't gig her Hubby enough on the settlement!

The Husband's attorney hates you 'cause you were playing too hard in the case, and he didn't get paid for all that!

The Husband hates you 'cause you're sleeping with his wife! (Mr. Schmuck, your wife came to see me because [u]you[/u] weren't sleeping with her, what makes you think I would want to?)

Now, realize that I have only practiced in two states, Louisiana and Texas, and both of them have community property laws.  It matters not [u]where[/u] you were married, if you settle in Texas or Louisiana, the laws of those states apply to [u]whatever[/u] property you own! Period.

The result would be the same in any community property state, which are basically the states that used to be former Spanish possessions: Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, Aridzona, California, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington!

My understanding of 'separate property' state laws is not that keen, however, and so I am not certain what the result would be there.

But anyone is a fool to get married KNOWING it will not last, [u]unless[/u] it is to give a name to an unborn child!

You owe the kid [u]that[/u] much, for certain!

Eric The(Righteous)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 7/9/2002 5:49:17 PM EDT
[#17]
I dont think he married "knowing" his marriage would fail. He was asked a question and gave an honest answer.
Hell, if you asked me that question, I would have said "Four years, but I'm hoping for eight"
Not because I didnt hope it would last forever, but because I didnt think we fit the mold of the golden anniversary folks. Most people dont.Thats just being real.
I believe he was from Mass or Maine. Not one of the states you mentioned. It was my understanding that the court would not allow her to contest the divorce because it was a Jamaican marriage.
Maybe we should do a poll here. How many members are divorced/married, and how long were/are you married.
Next question: Honestly, did you think at any time before you were married that your union may not last forever?
BP





Link Posted: 7/10/2002 6:05:09 AM EDT
[#18]
The night I was married, my wife said "This is for life, Buster". Three children, a paid house, and a shit load of years later, it is still going. I guess she was right.

edited to read:

I'm in Vermont, about 1 and 1/2 hours from Maine. We have similar laws. If you want what you brought into the marriage, have a prenup, otherwise it will be a big piling party at the end.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 12:07:17 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
The night I was married, my wife said "This is for life, Buster".
View Quote


What an awesome thing for your wife to say.  
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