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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:24:41 PM EDT
There was a 1911 cocked and locked in my hands along with a M&P 9mm in my wife's hand.
Last night around 9pm I was watching TV in the family room and the wife unit was in the bedroom watching her shows when someone tried to open the door to my apartment which was all of 5 feet away from me.  No knock. No ringing doorbell. Just tried to open the door and walk in. Thankfully both deadbolts were locked.
I live in a pretty good area and I've never been super worried about home security but I do keep the doors locked at all times and there is a 1911 in the drawer of coffee table right in front of me. Grabbed the 1911 and walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. All I see is black.  This person trying to open the door to my apartment has apparently covered the peephole. This is where I get a little concerned. We just moved to the area and don't have really any friends or family members that would think it be funny to cover up the peep hole. In the moment I couldn't fathom any reason why someone would cover up the peephole and think that's proper etiquette.
I attempt to find my balls and drop my voice as low as possible and call out "Who is it?" No answer. Person again tries to turn the knob and open my door. I call out again. This point the wife comes into the room with her 9mm M&P as she can tell is something wrong. I again check the peep hole and see a young lady starts to walk away from the door and down the steps to the first floor. End of the situation. I waited by the door looking through the peephole for a few more minutes with no further interaction. Yea I know CSB and all and pics of wife are required per GD rules but I just wanted to share my 5 minutes of fun last night that got my blood flow moving a little faster. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:25:37 PM EDT
[#1]
My bad dude. I was one floor off from my apt.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:26:44 PM EDT
[#2]
rulez man. pics of wife did you pee yourself? |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:26:57 PM EDT
[#3]
She just wanted a threesome, dude. You lose.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:27:53 PM EDT
[#4]
Sorry dude I was kinda drunk.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:29:14 PM EDT
[#5]
Quoted: There was a 1911 cocked and locked in my hands along with a M&P 9mm in my wife's hand. . All I see is black. That's racist |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:29:47 PM EDT
[#6]
 |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:30:02 PM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
rulez man. pics of wife did you pee yourself? let's not devolve this into another pee pee thread. K? |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:31:46 PM EDT
[#8]
Maybe she really had to pee?
Decided the back yard or roof was a better option after you failed to let her in? ETA- Too late! |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:32:34 PM EDT
[#9]
This point the wife comes into the room with her 9mm M&P as she can tell is something wrong. I again check the peep hole and see a young lady starts to walk away from the door and down the steps to the first floor.
Was she hot? |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:34:10 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted: Quoted: rulez man. pics of wife did you pee yourself? let's not devolve this into another pee pee thread. K? but that would make me tinkle a wee bit in my dwares |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:37:11 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
My bad dude. I was one floor off from my apt. I shit you not, I did that once. Rode my bike home from a bar. Took it up elevator instead of stairs like normal. Must have hit 3 instead of 2. I was shaking that door. Putting my key in it. Then noticed the lock was upside down. I strted freaking out that someone had broke into my apartment, and had busted the lock. I crouched down to look under the door for feet. Then when I stood up, I saw rhe numbers. I got the hell out of there before I got shot. Lol. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:38:40 PM EDT
[#12]
That is when you quickly swing the door open and leave them staring down the barrel of a 12 gauge.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:39:10 PM EDT
[#13]
Quoted:
Quoted:
My bad dude. I was one floor off from my apt. I shit you not, I did that once. Rode my bike home from a bar. Took it up elevator instead of stairs like normal. Must have hit 3 instead of 2. I was shaking that door. Putting my key in it. Then noticed the lock was upside down. I strted freaking out that someone had broke into my apartment, and had busted the lock. I crouched down to look under the door for feet. Then when I stood up, I saw rhe numbers. I got the hell out of there before I got shot. Lol. This past August I moved into a new apartment. I lived on the 3rd floor. I tried to go into the apartment under me at least 3 times using the key, and once I actually walked right in because their door was unlocked. I gtfo instantly. This was all in about 4 months. 
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:39:56 PM EDT
[#14]
Call the 911 operator and ask permission if you can shoot.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:41:07 PM EDT
[#15]
Do you think it was an arfcomer? Then why did you write your post as if you were talking to the guy that tried to open your door?
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:42:39 PM EDT
[#16]
That is great your wife is aware. The other day I heard a noise and went out of the bedroom with pistol in hand. My wife walks in front of me to take our son to his room...
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:48:07 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted: That is when you quickly swing the door open and leave them staring down the barrel of a 12 gauge. That's a genius idea. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:58:17 PM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
My bad dude. I was one floor off from my apt. You look like a "young lady"?   
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Posted: 1/5/2012 6:58:59 PM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
Quoted:
My bad dude. I was one floor off from my apt. You look like a "young lady"?
Only when I tuck it under. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 7:04:08 PM EDT
[#20]
Least your weapons wouldn't have over penetrated..........The closest weapon I have to me usually is a FN.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 7:05:18 PM EDT
[#21]
open door 1911 pointed at face area say hi
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Posted: 1/5/2012 7:07:55 PM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
My bad dude. I was one floor off from my apt. You look like a "young lady"?
Only when I tuck it under.
Would you fuck me? I'de fuck me.... - Clint |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 7:49:38 PM EDT
[#23]
Dam, I was wondering why my craigslist hook up never showed.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 7:52:29 PM EDT
[#24]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
My bad dude. I was one floor off from my apt. You look like a "young lady"?
Only when I tuck it under. I wish you lived closer to me.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 7:59:43 PM EDT
[#25]
Smithers ... release the hounds.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:06:33 PM EDT
[#26]
Does the girl live in the apt complex?
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:06:55 PM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:
Call the 911 operator and ask permission if you can shoot. 
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:11:05 PM EDT
[#28]
Insert Smart ass response here______________________.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:17:59 PM EDT
[#29]
Describing somebody turning a doorknob as "forcibly tr[ying] to open the door to my apartment" is a bit of an exaggeration.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:19:06 PM EDT
[#30]
I used to always get people with mistaken addresses when I lived in an apartment.
Of course, YOU don't know that it is just a "mistake" when they are trying to get into your apartment. One of many things that make apartment living interesting, I guess. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:21:52 PM EDT
[#31]
So, you never got the Stripping Telegram that I sent you then? |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:24:54 PM EDT
[#32]
For you, this means Ann Margaret's not coming.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:26:17 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
For you, this means Ann Margaret's not coming. Margret. 
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:31:47 PM EDT
[#34]
blah blah blah buy a membership right.., thats the GD trend right?
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:35:41 PM EDT
[#35]
Was this the lady walking away?
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Posted: 1/5/2012 8:40:27 PM EDT
[#36]
Quoted:
Describing somebody turning a doorknob as "forcibly tr[ying] to open the door to my apartment" is a bit of an exaggeration. Leaving out the part about covering the peephole. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 10:13:25 PM EDT
[#37]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Describing somebody turning a doorknob as "forcibly tr[ying] to open the door to my apartment" is a bit of an exaggeration. Leaving out the part about covering the peephole. Meh, if she thought she was at the right place she could have been doing it to fuck with her friends. I've done it before. I know I'm not the only person. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 10:26:25 PM EDT
[#38]
That would be a time to unlock the 1911
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Posted: 1/5/2012 10:27:01 PM EDT
[#39]
Are you sure the previous renter didn't pull a Kramer and perform a tactical peephole reversal to prevent an ambush upon entering the apartment?
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Posted: 1/5/2012 10:44:05 PM EDT
[#40]
I hated living in an apartment community where all of the buildings and doors look the same. There wasn't uncommon to have a confused idiot think our door was theirs or their friend/familys. Wasn't worth getting the arsenal out over it though.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 10:50:19 PM EDT
[#41]
Quoted: Quoted: Describing somebody turning a doorknob as "forcibly tr[ying] to open the door to my apartment" is a bit of an exaggeration. Leaving out the part about covering the peephole. That's still not forcibly opening a door. You forcibly open a door by kicking it in, using a battering ram, prying it open with a crowbar, forcing the door-frame apart with a hydraulic jack, using explosives, and the like. Turning the doorknob is how you normally open a door. Covering the peephole isn't how you open a door, at all. I could see calling it forcing the door open if the terminator wrenched the door from the frame with the doorknob, but that's not what happened. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 10:54:26 PM EDT
[#42]
 Sees what you did there |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 10:59:19 PM EDT
[#43]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Describing somebody turning a doorknob as "forcibly tr[ying] to open the door to my apartment" is a bit of an exaggeration. Leaving out the part about covering the peephole. That's still not forcibly opening a door. You forcibly open a door by kicking it in, using a battering ram, prying it open with a crowbar, forcing the door-frame apart with a hydraulic jack, using explosives, and the like. Turning the doorknob is how you normally open a door. Covering the peephole isn't how you open a door, at all. I could see calling it forcing the door open if the terminator wrenched the door from the frame with the doorknob, but that's not what happened. Since you want to play the role of the obtuse douchebag, I'll join you, and note that force can be defined as a physical influence that tends to change the position of an object with mass, equal to the rate of change in momentum of the object. Gripping a doorknob and turning it requires force. Therefore, the person did in fact attempt to focribly open the door. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 11:08:25 PM EDT
[#44]
Quoted:
Do you think it was an arfcomer? Then why did you write your post as if you were talking to the guy that tried to open your door? It's kinda a craigs list thing, among others. Chill out, Noel. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 11:09:04 PM EDT
[#45]
Quoted:
Least your weapons wouldn't have over penetrated..........The closest weapon I have to me usually is a FN. FN makes a variety of weapons. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 11:11:28 PM EDT
[#46]
Next time nut up and call the chick out on her shenanigans.
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Posted: 1/5/2012 11:14:54 PM EDT
[#47]
Quoted: Somebody jiggled the wrong goddamned doorknob in an apartment complex. That's not force by any reasonable measure. The OP didn't foil a home invasion; that much is obvious. Probably all he did was remind Jackass McKnobjiggle that she was at the wrong door.Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Describing somebody turning a doorknob as "forcibly tr[ying] to open the door to my apartment" is a bit of an exaggeration. Leaving out the part about covering the peephole. That's still not forcibly opening a door. You forcibly open a door by kicking it in, using a battering ram, prying it open with a crowbar, forcing the door-frame apart with a hydraulic jack, using explosives, and the like. Turning the doorknob is how you normally open a door. Covering the peephole isn't how you open a door, at all. I could see calling it forcing the door open if the terminator wrenched the door from the frame with the doorknob, but that's not what happened. Since you want to play the role of the obtuse douchebag, I'll join you, and note that force can be defined as a physical influence that tends to change the position of an object with mass, equal to the rate of change in momentum of the object. Gripping a doorknob and turning it requires force. Therefore, the person did in fact attempt to focribly open the door. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 11:19:13 PM EDT
[#48]
Quoted:
I used to always get people with mistaken addresses when I lived in an apartment. Of course, YOU don't know that it is just a "mistake" when they are trying to get into your apartment. One of many things that make apartment living interesting, I guess. 30Cal story time... So I was a sophmore in college, really digging my town home. I had ole girl on the couch, in a celebratory fashion, hands tied and feet skyward. I have a bad habit of stacking shit in front of my doors, even when I forget to lock them. Long story short, There I am, 1911 in retention agan my chest, pointed at the 120 pound asian pizza guy who had the wrong place and tried the knob. I was trying to fit the dude through the crack in the door while the chick tried to get her pants on, sans hands. It all had a happy ending. I kept my finger along the frame. Got a free pizza. Dude came back for self defense advice. I did appologize alot. True shit. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 11:23:19 PM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
My bad dude. I was one floor off from my apt. I shit you not, I did that once. Rode my bike home from a bar. Took it up elevator instead of stairs like normal. Must have hit 3 instead of 2. I was shaking that door. Putting my key in it. Then noticed the lock was upside down. I strted freaking out that someone had broke into my apartment, and had busted the lock. I crouched down to look under the door for feet. Then when I stood up, I saw rhe numbers. I got the hell out of there before I got shot. Lol. This past August I moved into a new apartment. I lived on the 3rd floor. I tried to go into the apartment under me at least 3 times using the key, and once I actually walked right in because their door was unlocked. I gtfo instantly. This was all in about 4 months. My roommate back in college did the same a few times. We used to live on the second floor and moved to the third floor. A few times he accidentally just opened the door and walked into the apartment below. Once he told me him and his girlfriend walked into the apartment below and noticed a cat. He wondered when we got a cat then realized he was in the wrong apartment. Apologized to the neighbors and stepped out. |
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Posted: 1/5/2012 11:24:50 PM EDT
[#50]
When I was in the nav, I once found a naked drunk girl sailor in my barracks bunk.
Turns out the base had used only like 4 different cores in the entire barracks complex, we both had the same lock core and so and she and stubmled into my room drunk as a possom. Great, right? well... she was pretty pissed when i work her up. Insisted I get out of "her" room. 
Once I got her to understand she was in MY room she decided to leave. That's when I discovered she had pissed bed. She wasn't real happy when I made her replace my pissed on mattress with hers. (later, i realized hers was probably pissed in, too, but dried.)
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