Let's see if I understand how the world works lately...

If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, he blames the restaurant.

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.


If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender.


If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore. So, if I die while my lazy butt is parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates...okay?

Yup and I charge 1/3 of whatever you get after reimbursement of my expenses.