Dog Rules
1.  Dogs are never permitted in the house.  the dog
stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment
named, for very good reason, the dog house.

2. Okay, the dog can enter the house but only for
short visits or if his own house is under renovation.

3.  Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent
basis provided his dog house can be sold in a lawn
sale to a rookie dog owner.

4.  Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run
free and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal
cage.

5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal
in the lawn sale, and the dog can go wherever the hell
he pleases.

6.  The dog is never allowed on the furniture.

7.  Okay, the dog can get up on the old furniture but
not the new furniture.

8.  Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture
until it looks like the old furniture and then we'll
sell the whole damn works and buy new furniture on
which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.

9.  The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.

10.  Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed
only.

11.  Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's
not allowed under the covers.

12.  Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not
with his head on the pillow.

13.  Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, under the
covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores,
he's got to leave the room.

14.  Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have
nightmares in your bed, but he's not to come in and
sleep on the couch in the TV room, where you're now
sleeping.  That's just not fair.

15.  The dog never gets listed on the census
questionnaire as "primary resident" even if it's true.

That is excellent, [b]satcong[/b], both my king-of-the-house, sleeping 'twixt Miz Hun and me, snoring his tricolor ass off, burying his chew bones under my pillow, beagle-named- Scooter and I are ROTFLMAO!

Yup....That's pretty much how it goes....

[:D]

My dog is up to sleeping on the pilllow now.. [rolleyes]

When I get up in the morning, if I'm too noisy getting out of the bed he starts 'complaining' [rolleyes][rolleyes]

Sounds a lot like Shilo, if we do something he doesn't approve of, he barks and complains.

How true. You forgot one that i am about to experience. If you move and get all new furniture he is definately not going to sleep on it ;)

Here are the two women who take my bed from me
[img]http://www.poolleisure.com/images/carla_maddie.JPG[/img]

I guess we're lucky.  Our beagle, Bailey likes to sleep under the bed.  I think he believes it's his den.  He has full run of the house though.  Gee, do yall's beagles like to eat?

Ain't it the truth?
My Beagle sleeps at the top of the pillows, against the headboard. This is actually preferred. She has a very good appetite (I'll say she's big boned). When she used to sleep on top of the covers, she would literally pin me down so I couldn't turn over. I'm told that we would then snore in unison. [sleep]

Until a short while ago, we had four rulers of the house, and the rest of us were there to feed, water, pet, and otherwise tend to them. As I work nights, I am the only one home all day, and I am trying to sleep during most of it, however it is rather difficult when you have one against your back (25 lbs), one against your stomach (13 lbs), one across your legs (95lbs), and one on the pillow (9 lbs). rolling over is not an option, and if you move the big one by accident, you awaken to a growl like you never want to wake up to. Does that qualify as pinned?

Woohoo! [bounce]

Our dogs are just that: dogs.  They are not spoiled at all.

[img]communities.msn.com/_Secure/0RwB3BmsYXlgkBANbEFevn8PEr4*svllbjs*JUQBYEat29phqzQxMt9orreDB!mEQEpi88WeBU74dvfT5bS3AP0avlduKjtlPg8jbK2GDF9g/Spoiled-play-with-toys.JPG[/img]

BTW, wish the big one luck, were hoping to finish her championship this weekend, one point to go.

I can't believe how closely your joke mirrors my experiences as a dog owner.  Scout is snoring on the couch as I type.  Cleo is probably sleeping on my pillow next to my wife.

These dogs just walk all over me.

Thats funny sounds like my dog. I got him some poor sob goot my wife. The best trade ive ever made. Hes only bit me twice and I still trust him more than any women ive ever known.

Yeah no Sh1t Huh!
"Hank the golden Pheasant missile" is snoring his furry butt off next to me right now,and I can hear Daisy the wonder Lab/Mooch unit, snoring her butt off in the Bedroom with the wife!
It's the "Cave" from a couple Million years ago,and thanks to the Mutts not needing Cell phones,we are stuck with the original agreement!
Wouldn't have it any other way.

Two days ago I got the "Call" from these two.
Ya know,the incessant bark of the same tone that translates to "Hey, get the rifle and get out here".
When I put on the Rubber boots and trudged through the muck and mire,here's Hank and Daisy looking all proud of themselves,and up in the tree is this STUPID cat that has been trashing my Barn for the last couple of months.
Kitty only bounced once before the two put an end to the cats reign of terror...
The agreement millions of years ago was a good one.
Anybody got a good method of getting fur out of the carpet in a new vehicle?
Cheers!
E4E

Ratters, what kind of dogs are those?

"just shoot the damn dog"

[img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/TylerDurden%2FDebogator%21001b%26w%2Ejpg[/img]

Unless it is a head-shot, kiss your a@@ goodbye! [;D]

Great post, satcong!

Tyler

Funny.  Very good.  

I've got an Australian Shepherd, black with tan markings, named Sarah.   The funny thing about her is that you can INVITE her up onto the bed or couch or whatever, but she won't stay there unless you practically chain here there.  And in a mostly carpeted house, she prefers to sleep on the terrazo floor.

She's also the cleanest dog I've ever encountered.  At two years of age, her breath doesn't smell like dog breath, in fact her breath has no odor at all.   Isn't THAT odd?

I thnk she's smarter than we are, too.  She has us well trained to do her bidding.

CJ

cmjohnson,

I have an Aussie named Shilo, I concur on the aussies, smart dogs.

I suppose that's meant to be funny? ;)

[img]http://boards.rennlist.com/upload/slpngbty.jpg[/img]

That is a great post!

If it's my bed, then why does the dog always get more of it.  

Does yours also rest his/her head on your leg when you're eating and give you the most tragic "I'm starving!" look imaginable?   [img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/puppy_dog_eyes.gif[/img]

I swear, if I let that dog eat until she'd really had enough, she'd be spherical like a beachball with four legs sticking out a little, and even if her legs couldn't touch the floor, she's STILL be straining to get to a dropped crumb!


Anyone know of a free photo hosting site?  I'd post a pic or two if I had access to one.

CJ

Cmjohnson,

This one eats a lot.  Yes, he has learned the trick, sit at our feet during dinner resting his head on your toes, occasionally licking...but very patient...like a hunter....waits there and licks until you feel sorry for him and food he gets.  Ahhhh, I always said I would be one tough SOB when it came to training my dogs....little by little, he gains ground everyday...

Do your dogs like to eat cat shit?

I have a couple that love to get into the cat box and get themselves a hot treat.  Must be like doggie brownies or something?  If their breath doesn't give them away the litter stuck to their nose surely does.

Got another that hunts it down while we are out walking.  Weird.

LOL, never figured out what a Dog's facination with kitty shit was. My firends Rot will seek it out and roll around in it till it is covered head to tail.  

It's so true!

[img]www.picturelist.com/Images/picwhiz/Pictureford%20016.jpg [/img].

Dude, what's with the alien dogs?   [:D]

CJ

Things a Rottweiler Must Try To Remember:

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, squirrels, etc.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard
after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Dad's driver's license and car registration.

They are Greater Swiss Mountain Dogs.  Or Big Obnoxious Eat Everything Lazy Dogs as I like to call them.  Our fault for spoiling them though. The older one is just over two and they younger just over one and they are both about a hundred pounds.  They wouldn't harm a fly (I think) but their deep bark will scare just about anyone, helps a lot with the soliciters.

Here is the older girl at one of her majors last fall.  I really hope this weekend is the end of it, the showing thing gets really expensive.
[img]communities.msn.com/_Secure/0QwB3BlYX4wVPIimNRTlfIZXTbXwj3HdxquuWLA8FFIbdm7aonSujCWNv4X0pdMj4cOKJX8!5ri0V!RIIZQk7e*oebHVYTk8RDCMlk2GsuTc/Schatzi-major-Dixon2.jpg[/img]

Falcon2, are you raising reindeer or creating a new breed?

That is absolutely hilarious. We have a half Rot. half PBT and she is the most incredible dog. Especially when it comes to "finding things to do". She has eaten most of moms flowers, a couch, more socks that we can replace, and each and every toy she has gotten. Love her to death though.