User Panel
Posted: 9/20/2020 3:26:08 PM EDT
In a press conference Wednesday in Texas, Bay Area Unitarian Universalist Church declared God is discriminatory because The Creator doesn't approve of murder, robbery and adultery. They announced they will henceforth worship Satan, who encourages those activities.
The Unitarian Universalist movement has roots in early Protestantism. Today, it embraces a diverse range of spiritual practices and texts, and members are often involved in attacking Constitutional rights and promoting Communism. In a suit filed in Texas’ Southern District, Bay Area Unitarian Universalist Church and two local coffee shops allege that Texas’ current law violates their First Amendment rights. The suit says that Texas’ current laws unduly burden private citizens because of “arbitrary” requirements that make it difficult for sinners to hurt others without risking criminal prosecution. http://www.breakingnews247.net |
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Quoted: In a press conference Wednesday in Texas, Bay Area Unitarian Universalist Church declared God is discriminatory because The Creator doesn't approve of murder, robbery and adultery. They announced they will henceforth worship Satan, who encourages those activities. The Unitarian Universalist movement has roots in early Protestantism. Today, it embraces a diverse range of spiritual practices and texts, and members are often involved in attacking Constitutional rights and promoting Communism. In a suit filed in Texas’ Southern District, Bay Area Unitarian Universalist Church and two local coffee shops allege that Texas’ current law violates their First Amendment rights. The suit says that Texas’ current laws unduly burden private citizens because of “arbitrary” requirements that make it difficult for sinners to hurt others without risking criminal prosecution. http://www.breakingnews247.net View Quote Alrighty then......... |
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The websites some of y'all go to are the modern equivalent of Mad Magazine and the National Enquirer.
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Fricking goofballs?????? Attached File
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You can't make that sh*t up.
Guess it's OK for someone to massacre their entire congregation and they'd be OK with it. |
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These Onion type sites are fun. My favorite right now is "woman heroically fights off paramedics who try to saddle her with thousands in medical debt."
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Marx admitted to worshiping Satan so why not.
“Thus Heaven I’ve forfeited, I know it full well…My soul, once true to God, is chosen for Hell.” —Karl Marx, |
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Bullshit satire news site.
Unitarians wouldn't need to convert to satanism in the first place |
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Satanism and Communism sounds like a good fit...
Fuck those guys... |
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Quoted: The Unitarian Universalist movement has roots in early Protestantism. Today, it embraces a diverse range of spiritual practices and texts, and members are often involved in attacking Constitutional rights and promoting Communism. View Quote These aren't the Protestants I know. Sounds like they were always nuts and full of it. |
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Quoted: ‘Breakingnews247’ dot net. Seems legit View Quote This is actually based in fact. That church and their coffee shops are suing the state with the claim that the state's requirements for signage to criminalize possession of a concealed handgun by LTC holders are onerous, and they shouldn't have to meet any requirements. Absent is any reasoning around other ways to provide notification, such as handing someone a card or paper, or giving notice orally. Basically they want to either put up tiny signs that nobody would notice, or just start the squealing about how someone should know better than to carry a gun in their space. https://www.houstonpublicmedia.org/articles/news/politics/guns/2020/09/04/381230/houston-lawsuit-challenges-texas-law-regulating-no-gun-signs/ http://www.offthekuff.com/wp/?tag=bay-area-unitarian-universalist-church |
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Quoted: Yes, you can literally make this shit up and post it yourself on prank news sites. Which is what happened here. Some of you people will believe anything. View Quote The best part is I didn't have to change much from an article about them suing over the 30.06 notice requirements for signs. |
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Quoted: Yup. These folks were already satanists, but didn't know it. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Unitarian Universalist.....You can stop reading right there. Yup. These folks were already satanists, but didn't know it. Bingo. Nothing new, just out in the open about it |
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I'd like to see, "Satanist Church converts to Christian Church after realizing Satan is the loser"
A Satanist church in Bentonville, AR, has residents shocked and amazed at an apparent theological about-face. The Satanist church that has been a pillar of the community for decades has made an announcement that nobody was expecting. A spokesperson reported, "We started asking the question, Where did our knowledge of Satan come from? Paster Mark and Brother Ben did some studying, and we were shocked to find that Satan loses in the end. We thought he was the tougher god but it turns out he's a total loser pussy. We don't want to be associated with that." Church deacons will say goodbye to Satan and hello to Jesus, who, they say, unlike Satan, is a complete winner. Pastor Mark sat down with us and outlined his new strategy. "We want to be winners, obviously. Jesus has a lot going for him - he loves to fight, kicked ass with melee weapons in the Temple back in the day, and has a double edged sword that comes out of his mouth. Best of all, you can't kill him. He'll just lay there for a while, maybe playing possum for a day, but he'll come back" When asked about how that helps churchgoers, the pastor continued to explain, "Oh, there are lots of advantages. Jesus' followers also get resurrection zombie powers along with teleportation, invulnerability, and forever life. Satan just can't match that. Also, from what we're reading, the accommodations that Jesus provides are far superior." |
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UU don't believe in any deity
They are pragmatists They believe in whatever it takes to help you become a better person...psychology,Christianity,Buddha,American Indian religions,Islam,Hindu,Confucianism,Wicca,Satan makes no difference as long as you become a better person Just another Luciferian Anti Christ Religion |
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