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Posted: 6/22/2003 4:32:47 PM EDT
[#1]
Cops are civilians. I think you mean what do cops hate the most about serving the public.
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Posted: 6/22/2003 5:09:46 PM EDT
[#2]
"When do I get my free phone call, free food, free doctor visit?"
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Posted: 6/22/2003 5:27:14 PM EDT
[#3]
Idiot who got caught - " Why aren't you out arresting real criminals instead of messing with me?"
Answer - " Because some dumbass had to prove how loud his tires could screech and is taking my time away from more important things." |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 5:28:15 PM EDT
[#4]
This is my favorite:
"I Pay Your SALARY dont I?" |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 5:46:35 PM EDT
[#5]
Well, the one I used last time was "Really!? I had no idea I was going that fast!"
Michigan State Cop- wanted to talk about Sigs when I disclosed I was carrying. And no, had he given me the ticket, I wouldn't have thought him a dickweed. He was doing his job professionally and treated me with the same respect I gave him. (And I really DIDN'T know I was going that fast!) |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 6:36:11 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted: This is my favorite: "I Pay Your SALARY dont I?" Well....don't we? Sgtar15 |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 6:37:43 PM EDT
[#7]
"Why did you have to shoot my dog?"
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Posted: 6/22/2003 6:42:11 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted: Quoted: This is my favorite: "I Pay Your SALARY dont I?" Well....don't we? Sgtar15 Yes, the tax payer pays us to write them tickets. Ironic, huh? Art in KY Edited to add: How about a raise? $8.88 per hour starting out is not cutting it. |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 6:57:52 PM EDT
[#9]
Quoted: Yes, the tax payer pays us to write them tickets. Good one buddy! I'll remember that one. [ROFL2] [nana] [LOLabove] [ROFL] [bow] [banana] |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 7:00:03 PM EDT
[#10]
"Am I free to go?"
Bob |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 7:09:18 PM EDT
[#11]
(pointing to friend) "He doesn't have his green card".
Damn, that one gets OLD after about the sixth time each day. |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 8:12:43 PM EDT
[#12]
What I hate is that everyone seems to think you want to hear how they got screwed over or stopped or cited by some other cop 5, 10 sometimes 20 years ago. I could give a shit. If someone got arrested they most likely needed it. I have never made an arrest I did not have to and I have never seen an arrest made that was not legal and appropriate. Now if you ask the people who I arrested they may have a different story.
The one question that gets me is, "Did you start as a detective?" And "How can I become an LEO without having to work patrol?" Or when I tell people that I am a Deputy Sheriff and a Deput Coroner they ask me, "Like Quincy (sp?)?". I have to be very careful with my answer or my mouth could get in trouble. The "I pay your wage." getts under my skin. I pay more in taxes then 95% of all the Citizens I TALK to each day. I just want to scream, "NO MOTHERF___ER! I, AND EVERYOTHER WORKING MAN, PAYS FOR YOUR WELLFARE AND SSI SO YOU CAN BEAT YOUR WIFE, SMOKE YOUR DOPE AND WATCH CHILD PORN ON YOU 60 INCH TV. YOU SICK, LAZY, WALKING TALKING PIECE OF CRAP." I need a vacation sooooo bad. |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 8:46:36 PM EDT
[#13]
Quoted: The "I pay your wage." getts under my skin. I pay more in taxes then 95% of all the Citizens I TALK to each day. I just want to scream, "NO MOTHERF___ER! I, AND EVERYOTHER WORKING MAN, PAYS FOR YOUR WELLFARE AND SSI SO YOU CAN BEAT YOUR WIFE, SMOKE YOUR DOPE AND WATCH CHILD PORN ON YOU 60 INCH TV. YOU SICK, LAZY, WALKING TALKING PIECE OF CRAP." And you're issued a firearm?[:D] edit for smiley CHRIS |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 8:52:10 PM EDT
[#14]
Quoted: This is my favorite: "I Pay Your SALARY dont I?" I had a complete assclown use that line on me once. In response, I tossed him a quarter and said, "Here's your money back. Now go fuck yourself." |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 10:36:12 PM EDT
[#15]
Quoted: Quoted: This is my favorite: "I Pay Your SALARY dont I?" I had a complete assclown use that line on me once. In response, I tossed him a quarter and said, "Here's your money back. Now go fuck yourself." Good one! [:D] |
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Posted: 6/22/2003 11:14:24 PM EDT
[#16]
Other than "But Sgt. X or Lt. Y fixes my tickets, why can't you"
The one that used to really spin my Dad up was, "Gee Jack, It's New Years Day, aren't you off?" which was usually preceded by - "Hey Jack, I got some extra tickets for the Rose Bowl, you want to go?" He worked for South Pasadena PD for 34 years. He directed traffic at Orange Grove and the Pasadena Freeway for 30 years. New Years Day was one of the longest days for most Pasadena area LEOs for years. He'ld get up early so he was there for the pre-parade traffic, and then about the time the parade got started the game traffic started, and then they had the mad house when go to game traffic peaked with go home from parade traffic. Then after go home from game traffic ended he'ld swing by the house for a quick bite and then go over to Garfield and Monterey (on most direct route from track to Pasadena Fwy) to work go home traffic from Santa Anita. Add in the happy fact that a lot of the game attendees had been drinking, and oftern were unhappy about which team won, traffic congestion, and most of the pony players were blitxed too, made it a real exciting day. Putting the Foothill Freeway in calmed things down a lot. similar questions about other holidays ranked up there too. |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 12:26:19 AM EDT
[#17]
What kind of dumbass questions ya'll get while doin the job? Q: Have you shot anyone? A: Why, are you volunteering? A: Not today, but the day isn't over yet. |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 2:14:39 AM EDT
[#18]
Favorite #2:
But... I know the Chief (Enter mis-prononuced name and or the guy just retired.) He's a friend of mine! |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 2:18:05 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: Quoted: This is my favorite: "I Pay Your SALARY dont I?" Well....don't we? Sgtar15 I pay my salary too because I also pay taxes. As a taxpayer, I expect myself to earn my paycheck and that means writing tickets and arresting people among other things that I do on the job. My answer to that question..."Do they tax your welfare check?". |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 7:29:12 AM EDT
[#20]
Quoted: Cops are civilians. I think you mean what do cops hate the most about serving the public. Really? ci·vil·ian ( P ) Pronunciation Key (s-vlyn) n. A person following the pursuits of civil life, especially one who is not an active member of the military or police. A specialist in Roman or civil law. adj. Of or relating to civilians or civil life; nonmilitary: civilian clothes; a civilian career. |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 9:19:44 AM EDT
[#21]
Quoted: Quoted: This is my favorite: "I Pay Your SALARY dont I?" I had a complete assclown use that line on me once. In response, I tossed him a quarter and said, "Here's your money back. Now go fuck yourself." If I ever decided to become an LEO, I'm gonna use that line! [ROFL] |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 10:28:59 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted: Quoted: Cops are civilians. I think you mean what do cops hate the most about serving the public. Really? ci·vil·ian ( P ) Pronunciation Key (s-vlyn) n. A person following the pursuits of civil life, especially one who is not an active member of the military or police. A specialist in Roman or civil law. adj. Of or relating to civilians or civil life; nonmilitary: civilian clothes; a civilian career. Now you've done it! I made the mistake of posting that exact definition in "General Discussion" when that topic came up. I wasn't even taking a stance on EITHER side. The original poster was mad because he read a news article where the author used "civilian" for non-LEOs. I just pointed out that the author used the dictionary's definition - big deal. In response, I got all kinds of emotional rantings - stuff like "you base your beliefs on the dictionary?" and other assorted crap. CR edited to add: My favorites have been mentioned - "I know the Sheriff/Chief" and "I pay your salary" First, I seriously doubt the Sheriff/Chief would associate with 99% of the dopes that use that line. Even if he does, let him fix the ticket - least he knows I was working. Second, Funny how the people that "pay your salary" didn't hire you and can't fire you. And the same can be said about almost EVERY job - I pay the McDonald's cashier's salary every time I buy a burger - but I don't go around telling her that I pay her salary (like I have some authority over her). |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 11:07:57 AM EDT
[#23]
Yeah, I figured they would, that's why I picked it :)
I don't ususlly stir pots, but I couldn't resist. Now you've done it! I made the mistake of posting that exact definition in "General Discussion" when that topic came up. I wasn't even taking a stance on EITHER side. The original poster was mad because he read a news article where the author used "civilian" for non-LEOs. I just pointed out that the author used the dictionary's definition - big deal. In response, I got all kinds of emotional rantings - stuff like "you base your beliefs on the dictionary?" and other assorted crap....... |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 11:19:04 AM EDT
[#24]
how about Revenge of the civilian!
i got stopped on b-way 8 by a constable who saw my Thunder Ranch window sticker and wanted to talk about the class! he did a routine traffic stop, warrant search and then started asking questions 30 minutes later he let me go. |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 12:44:37 PM EDT
[#25]
On the "My taxes pay your salary bit"
We had a guy try that with us at an accident scene when he didn't like the fact we had traffic stopped while we did an extrication. He was late for a ball game. Our LT shot back "Well you are about 50 years past due, pay up and we will give a crap what you think!" Telling a volunteer FF that you pay his salary won't get you very far! |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 5:47:51 PM EDT
[#26]
Have you ever shot anyone?
OR I know the Chief personally, I'm not gonna pay or sign this ticket. (I like this one, If you don't sign the ticket you get a one way ride to the jail, you will be able to talk to the Chief of the Judge in the morning) Karl |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 6:29:33 PM EDT
[#27]
My response to "I pay your salary" is usually followed by me saying,"Well, the pay is pretty crappy,so can I have a raise?",or "Well you get what you pay for."
Not to be cheesey, but I really don't mind the questions as long as they don't interfere with my meal.My lunchbreak is the ONLY time(for the most part) that I don't have to deal with the scum of the earth.You could even call it sacred. Hell, I love to talk.But I don't go up to banker types or doctors and start asking them banking stuff or doctor stuff while they are eating.So why come to me on my 30 minute break out of 12 hours and ask me for free legal advice?Just my pet peeve, I guess. What about "I'll have your job/badge/whatever" I saw a small quip in Reader's Digest way back when,where a cop was told that.He politely stated,"Sir, you wouldn't want my job.The pay is low.The hours are long, and you meet some of the nastiest people." |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 6:30:42 PM EDT
[#28]
Just today:
Dork points to his coworker and say "He did it!!" when I walk into a store. Dear God, would you drop a piano on those people please? Idjit asks me that, since he has unpaid parking tickets, if he parks in the ambulance parking will they boot his car? That one really went downhill fast. I was asked by a 9 year old girl today if I was allowed to shoot people. I replied, "Yes, but I need a really, really good reason" Her reply? "I know that, I watch TV" Of course, there is always the old standby, "Why aren't you out catching REAL criminals?" Umm, I am. That would be you. My favorite of all time, "Don't you get tired of enforcing this family values, conservative republican crap on people?" He was walking naked around the pool bathhouse inviting little boys to touch his dick. Wrote a three page complaint on me too. |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 8:12:22 PM EDT
[#29]
My favorite one was....
"Well, I guess you got your quota now" My favorite replies were.... "No Sir/Ma'am, three more and I get a toaster. "No Sir/Ma'am, I can write as many as I want and then flip to the next page in the ticket book. My funniest one was after I arrested a guy for Burglary. He was sitting there in front of my desk in handcuffs before booking, making the usual threats to get me on my day off and so on. I finally got tired of listening to him and told him... "Look here partner, you can't call me anything that someone hasn't already called me, you can't threaten me any more than someone else already has and you can't do anything to me that my ex-wife hasn't already done, so you had just as well shut up". He looked at me and then opened his mouth as if to say something else, then never said another word after that. |
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Posted: 6/23/2003 10:53:47 PM EDT
[#30]
Sorta along the lines of the "he did it" dork thing, almost every public place I go in to someone has to put their hands up and shout "It was not me!!!" I still manage a chuckle and a "that's not what I heard" and go about my business, but i'm fading fast on that one and soon me response will be "your #15 so far today!"
Not a question but, lately as I'm cuffing some people, they suddenly spout off "ha! you did not read me my rights when you were putting the handcuff's on, by law you have to release me..............right? riiiight |
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Posted: 6/24/2003 5:42:45 AM EDT
[#31]
Jester...My answer to that question is...
"REALLY?!??...The prison is full of people who said the same thing". And my answer to the "You have to release me." I would either say.... "Nope...we don't do catch and release here." or "Nahhhh...you're big enough to be a keeper" or "HEY...You must have been watching the same TV show I was watching last night". |
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Posted: 6/24/2003 6:16:41 AM EDT
[#32]
"Have you ever shot anyone?"
"Do you guys really have quota's?" "Which way to the ...?" "I'm sorry to bother you while you are eating, but..." |
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Posted: 6/24/2003 10:02:03 AM EDT
[#33]
In answer to your original post. I think I hate one of my LTs the most. Second would be a sargeant who got fired, I guess the Lt hated him most. Most of the rest of the world I just pity. Too damn stupid to figure the drill out. The dumbest questions come from TV cops and TV lawyers. Watching Law & Order does not make you a real cop or a real lawyer.
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Posted: 6/24/2003 10:06:13 AM EDT
[#34]
Quoted: how about Revenge of the civilian! i got stopped on b-way 8 by a constable who saw my Thunder Ranch window sticker and wanted to talk about the class! he did a routine traffic stop, warrant search and then started asking questions 30 minutes later he let me go. Hopefully, he stopped you for something else besides seeing the sticker. Stopping you just because he wanted to ask you about a sticker on your car? Fuck that. (Edit, and hopefully not a post hijack) On the subject of quotas: I was driving on I35 South of Austin yesterday, and saw SIX cop cars just parked on the frontage road, right by a northbound entrance ramp. They were waiting in line to stop speeders. There was a troop of about 4-6 motorcycle cops doing the same thing, southbound. Now, call me insensitive/uninformed/asshole or whatever, but I think there are a BUNCH of BETTER things these guys could be doing, than sitting on a frontage road looking for someone that's driving too fast. Ri-goddamn-diculous. |
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Posted: 6/24/2003 6:13:18 PM EDT
[#35]
Glof - Probably not - the motorcycles are dedicated traffic guys. they'd just be doing it somewhere else.
Saturation patrols are better in many cases. you can catch ALL the speeders in a given time and really send a message. usually done AFTER there was a bad accident or a bunch of complaints from citizens re: a specific problem intersection, stretch of road. on the salary question.... my answer: I'm a reserve, I write these tickets for free. press hard. |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 3:22:06 AM EDT
[#36]
They were traffic guys; it is refreshing to see them out of the office and working. I wish I could get my traffic guys to get out of the office and go write tickets, so I could get to the copying machine, I wouldn't have to hear them whine anymore and they would quit trying to steal my unmarked car.
Oh, I always hate it when I was out in a restaraunt or other public area and people would tell their misbehaving kids that the Police were there to arrest them. |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 4:02:12 AM EDT
[#37]
Thats when you tell the kids.....I don't arrest kids. Just parents who don't take care of their kids and make them behave.
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Posted: 6/25/2003 8:17:58 AM EDT
[#38]
#1. "Does this mean I'm under arrest ?"...said by wealthy drunk woman as I removed the handcuffs during book-in.
#2. "Do you know you are making a big mistake? I'am a candidate for county commissioner."...spoken by the same wealthy drunk woman during field sobriety evaluation prior to her trip to book-in. Sad foot note: She is now a county commissioner. |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 8:34:27 AM EDT
[#39]
Quoted: Quoted: how about Revenge of the civilian! i got stopped on b-way 8 by a constable who saw my Thunder Ranch window sticker and wanted to talk about the class! he did a routine traffic stop, warrant search and then started asking questions 30 minutes later he let me go. Hopefully, he stopped you for something else besides seeing the sticker. Stopping you just because he wanted to ask you about a sticker on your car? Fuck that. (Edit, and hopefully not a post hijack) On the subject of quotas: I was driving on I35 South of Austin yesterday, and saw SIX cop cars just parked on the frontage road, right by a northbound entrance ramp. They were waiting in line to stop speeders. There was a troop of about 4-6 motorcycle cops doing the same thing, southbound. Now, call me insensitive/uninformed/asshole or whatever, but I think there are a BUNCH of BETTER things these guys could be doing, than sitting on a frontage road looking for someone that's driving too fast. Ri-goddamn-diculous. just the usual. speeding, expedition of power, reckless driving etc. what are you supposed to do when you have to go from a dead stop at a toll booth to merging into traffic that is doing 75MPH and the run up is about 200yds? either you punch it or you get run over. got to love houston. |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 8:36:04 AM EDT
[#40]
So let me see if I got this straight.
1. Cops don't like to be bothered at work. 2. Cops consider giving tickets as fighting real crime. 3. Cops get tired of dealing with the public. 4. Cops don't like it when citizens state their opinion. Did I miss anything?? SGtar15 |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 8:45:55 AM EDT
[#41]
1. Cops don't like to be bothered at work.
Um, no. Police officers prefer not to be bothered during lunch. Actually, MOST people don't LIKE to be bothered at lunch. 2. Cops consider giving tickets as fighting real crime. So when we get a request for traffic (people are speeding up and down my street, running that stop sign) ect, so its ok if I just ignore these complaints? Many serious arrests start our as just a traffic stop. 3. Cops get tired of dealing with the public. No, we get tired of dealing with non police matters when we should be working cases, traffic, answering calls of service, ect. 4. Cops don't like it when citizens state their opinion. And that’s our opinion, just like you have yours. Art in KY |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 8:54:45 AM EDT
[#42]
Quoted: So let me see if I got this straight. 1. Cops don't like to be bothered at work. 2. Cops consider giving tickets as fighting real crime. 3. Cops get tired of dealing with the public. 4. Cops don't like it when citizens state their opinion. Did I miss anything?? SGtar15 Nope, other than getting shot at, and #2, it's just like any other job. Oh, you forgot: 10. We always cover for each other. 9. We're all crooked. 8. We're out to get your guns. 7. All we eat are dougnuts. 6. We get cool toys you can't have 5. We have authority issues. 4. We are better than you lowly civilians. 3. We have no regards for the laws we enforce. 2. We never get speeding tickets And our number one answer for the night...... 1. We can't shoot worth a damn, (unless it's at a dog). Thank You and good night! [:D] |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 9:07:37 AM EDT
[#43]
Hay Firedog,
I would either say.... "Nope...we don't do catch and release here." It's funny you mention that. We nick named dealing with juveniles the "catch and release program". We cite them and release them to a guardian for misdemeanors, such as shoplifting. Art in KY |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 10:36:02 AM EDT
[#44]
Quoted: My favorite one was.... "Well, I guess you got your quota now" My favorite replies were.... "No Sir/Ma'am, three more and I get a toaster. "No Sir/Ma'am, I can write as many as I want and then flip to the next page in the ticket book. I haven't chased tail lights in a while, but my favorite reply was: "No Sir/Ma'am, I made my quota three hours ago. This one was for me." |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 8:04:08 PM EDT
[#45]
Quoted: So let me see if I got this straight. 1. Cops don't like to be bothered at work. 2. Cops consider giving tickets as fighting real crime. 3. Cops get tired of dealing with the public. 4. Cops don't like it when citizens state their opinion. Did I miss anything?? 1. No bother at all. I'll take the time to put anyone in jail. 2. Yes, writing tickets is fighting crime. I've had many felony arrests that started as nothing more than inoperable tag light bulbs. 3. The only public i get tired of dealing with is the ones who tell me that they pay my salary and won't give me a raise when i put them in jail. 4. Yes the public has the right to their opinion. What i don't like is when i voice mine, i get called in to the Chief's office. I have rights too. |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 9:20:45 PM EDT
[#46]
Quoted: Quoted: My favorite one was.... "Well, I guess you got your quota now" My favorite replies were.... "No Sir/Ma'am, three more and I get a toaster. "No Sir/Ma'am, I can write as many as I want and then flip to the next page in the ticket book. I haven't chased tail lights in a while, but my favorite reply was: "No Sir/Ma'am, I made my quota three hours ago. This one was for me." Thats pretty good! |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 9:56:30 PM EDT
[#47]
Quoted: Oh, you forgot: 10. We always cover for each other. 9. We're all crooked. I wouldn't be suprised if Az is drastically different than, oh, say NY, where around every decade at least there are major charges of corruption and graft. but there are evil people everywhere, and you shouldn't generalise, but i'm sure that there are corrupt policemen in AZ same as almost everywhere else. 6. We get cool toys you can't have YOU DO GET COOL TOYS I CAN'T GET dumbass. This pisses me off the most. AZ is probably pretty good for NFA weapons, but non LEO still have to pay the $200 tax. Why don't you think about all the NFA rules, and all the other firearm rules that LEO generally don't have to follow. we don't get light bars ( you said cool toys) 5. We have authority issues. I think some of this list shows that you have some gripe against the way your job works 3. We have no regards for the laws we enforce. 2. We never get speeding tickets there is a police woman that i ride my CBR with, we get pulled over as a group she talks to the policeman, we get off without a ticket. Everytime i get pulled over without her when i'm breaking the law, i get a ticket. (once, so its not really a big statistic) And our number one answer for the night...... 1. We can't shoot worth a damn, (unless it's at a dog). no comment on above Look, I don't think that LEO's are a bunch of lazy scumbags, i generally think they have to do a hard thankless job. And doing that job generally means grubbing with the worst of society. For that they have my respect. but that they don't mess up like the above list is just rediculous. Our Sherrif just got put away for something around two years for stealing from ME! and everyone else that pays taxes in our county almost from the time he started to the time he left office. And this is in rural Oregon. Well, it used to be rural. |
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Posted: 6/25/2003 10:05:38 PM EDT
[#48]
Quoted: I pay my salary too because I also pay taxes. As a taxpayer, I expect myself to earn my paycheck and that means writing tickets and arresting people among other things that I do on the job. My answer to that question..."Do they tax your welfare check?". Last time i heard, SS was taxed like most other income. What exactly are you refering to as welfare? |
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Posted: 6/26/2003 12:28:05 AM EDT
[#49]
Well gee whiz there danonly,
Haven't you ever heard of sarcasam? Getting mad at people trolling doesn't do any good, so I give it right back to them. Lighten up! BTW, SGTAR is notorious for his top ten list, so I was also doing a parody of his works. |
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Posted: 6/26/2003 5:22:03 AM EDT
[#50]
Quoted: They were traffic guys; it is refreshing to see them out of the office and working. I wish I could get my traffic guys to get out of the office and go write tickets, so I could get to the copying machine, I wouldn't have to hear them whine anymore and they would quit trying to steal my unmarked car. Oh, I always hate it when I was out in a restaraunt or other public area and people would tell their misbehaving kids that the Police were there to arrest them. God I hate that!! I was at a public pool yesterday talking to staff on a indecency with a child case, and in comes the YMCA summercamp with about 60 7-9 year olds. Twit at the front of the line yells "IF you don't form a straight line NOW I'll have the police officer TAKE YOU AWAY!! Pulled her to the side and had a little discussion about that. Probably will get a complaint out of it. Gloftoe, What you saw was the traffic and License and weight guys doing saturation. Motors for speeders, L@W for heavy trucks. We've had some really bad wrecks lately on I35 around the Onion Creek parkway. Had to shut down the North bound interstate for 7 hours just two weeks ago, one tractor trailer cut another one in half. |
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