I just went through this with my wife. She can handle the recoil, but not the weight of my full size pistols. The grips on the polymer's were too thick for her hands.
Go and find a Beretta 84,85, or 86. It is small enough for her hands, but not tiny, and the weight is good for her too. Hardly any recoil.
We got the 86 because it is the tip up barrel, since the blow backs are a pain to rack the slide on. About 500 bucks out the door, so it is a little on the pricey side, but it is worth it to have a gun she can actually practice with.