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Posted: 4/5/2006 2:25:54 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/6/2006 12:12:02 PM EDT by Dragonfly228]
A couple buddies and I came up with a list of what every man should know how to do. In no particular order we came up with the following list:

Start a 2-stroke engine
Carve a turkey
Operate a manual transmission vehicle
Handle a firearm safely
Make love to a woman
Ride a bike
Hang a picture (level and centered on a wall)
Know that a 2x4 is actually 1.5" x 3.5" in dimension
Siphon liquid (with only a hose)
Train a dog
Operate a motorcycle
Change a diaper
Hammer a nail, bolt a bolt and screw a screw (without injury)
Draw a map to your house
Hook up a computer
Cook at least one impressive meal (from scratch)
Swim
Tie a bowline, square, overhand and hitch knots
Tie a tie
Toss a baseball, baseball, and frisbee (and be able to catch one tossed to you)
Throw at least one effective type of punch and kick
Dress game
Start a roaring fire (gas grill not included)
Amended
Sharpen a knife effectively
Jumpstart a car
Shave
Spit
Fell a tree
Fold the American flag
Play chess, poker, black jack, and Risk
Read a map
Use a compass
Be polite
Administer basic first-aid and CPR
Basic sewing/mending
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:28:25 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/5/2006 2:34:12 PM EDT by JakeThePimp]
Chop down a tree.
Shave (even if you don't)
Spit
set points using a dwell meter.
load a trunk
jump start a car
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:28:32 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/5/2006 2:29:12 PM EDT by mjohn3006]
Gut something besides a fish, like a squirrel or a deer.
Change a tire
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:29:18 PM EDT
Eat pussy properly.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:29:43 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:30:16 PM EDT
Dress himself.
Wipe his ass.
Tie his shoes.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:31:08 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:31:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:33:52 PM EDT
Take any weapon apart even if they never seen it before
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:34:13 PM EDT
Read a compass;

Rede an spel gud
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:34:26 PM EDT
Change the oil in a car, basic car maintenance.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:36:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AcidGambit:
Eat pussy properly.



That should be number one.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:36:59 PM EDT
Drive a manual Transmission
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:37:03 PM EDT
Kill silently.

Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:37:28 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:37:30 PM EDT
Masturbate?
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:37:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Carhlr:
Drive a manual Transmission



I forgot to add, read.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:39:05 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/5/2006 2:40:05 PM EDT by Ndenway]
Fart and clear a room.
Make babies laugh.
wipe ass with leaves.
Ride fat chicks, get caught and still look cool.
Wreck on a motorcycle, and still look cool.
Cut down a tree with an axe.
Cut down a tree with an chainsaw.
Operate heavy equipment.
Drink all night, then go to work all day, then repeat.
Operate all hand and power tools.
Know what/where a clit is, and how to treat it.
Throw a ball.
Catch a ball.
read a map.
Read a compass.
Start a fire without matches.
Live off the land.
Unclog a stool.
Wire a house.
Fix a window.
Take care of livestock.
Butcher said livestock.
Hunt and fish.
Play golf.



EDIT: forgot to add, Smoke cigerrettes and cuss like mad.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:40:29 PM EDT
Fight effectively with his fists, a knife, sword, axe, pistol, rifle, and shotgun. (not saying you gotta be Rambo but you should at least be able to look like you know what you are doing.)

Navigate, or at least read a map and be able to find north.

Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:41:15 PM EDT
Shed a tear for a fallen comrade.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:41:33 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:43:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By JakeThePimp:

set points using a dwell meter.



Not to mention 'grease the axles on a Conestoga wagon'.

Setting points is no longer an "everyone needs to be able to do this so they can tune their own car" skill, it is a "very, very few people need to even know what this is, except for those who choose to drive classic cars" skill. I know how to do it, but I wouldn't include it on the list of things to teach my kid.

Jim
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:43:46 PM EDT
Cogito, ergo sum.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:44:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

No worries, we don't exclude wimminz from doing any of the things on the list.



lol, no no - I was just trying to figure out how to teach my son all of these things. No worries, he'll have to figure out the "Make love to a woman" on his own. I'm not that good of a scout.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:48:01 PM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

No worries, we don't exclude wimminz from doing any of the things on the list.



lol, no no - I was just trying to figure out how to teach my son all of these things. No worries, he'll have to figure out the "Make love to a woman" on his own. I'm not that good of a scout.



Judging from another thread, that might just be one of the things a female teacher instructs him in.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:49:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

No worries, we don't exclude wimminz from doing any of the things on the list.



lol, no no - I was just trying to figure out how to teach my son all of these things. No worries, he'll have to figure out the "Make love to a woman" on his own. I'm not that good of a scout.



Quick pass over the mountains, then concentrate your expedition in the valley.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:49:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Thuban:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

No worries, we don't exclude wimminz from doing any of the things on the list.



lol, no no - I was just trying to figure out how to teach my son all of these things. No worries, he'll have to figure out the "Make love to a woman" on his own. I'm not that good of a scout.



Judging from another thread, that might just be one of the things a female teacher instructs him in.



I'm afraid my son will be part of the 30 something crowd going "damn....none of my teachers wanted to teach me that"
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:49:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/5/2006 2:52:57 PM EDT by thebeekeeper1]
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:50:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

No worries, we don't exclude wimminz from doing any of the things on the list.



lol, no no - I was just trying to figure out how to teach my son all of these things. No worries, he'll have to figure out the "Make love to a woman" on his own. I'm not that good of a scout.



Quick pass over the mountains, then concentrate your expedition in the valley.



Better slow down at the pass.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:52:01 PM EDT
Drink 80 proof bourbon without mixing it.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:59:02 PM EDT
Obligatory Heinlein "What You Should Know" quote:


A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:01:03 PM EDT
Dunk a basketball
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:03:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By JakeThePimp:
Chop down a tree.
Shave (even if you don't)
Spit
set points using a dwell meter.
load a trunk
jump start a car



That's one I still haven't learned... and I have a new set of points to put in my Porsche... although I will probably switch to an optical trigger.

Points are SO 30 years ago!
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:06:54 PM EDT
Subscribe to threads without writing "tag"
Know what 87 means
RTFM
Clear browser cookies & history before his wife comes home
Encrypt .jpg & .mpeg files
Get free pron
Find a wife/gf/(both) that is "willing" without being "asked"
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:14:12 PM EDT
Make love with out the aid of a woman
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:19:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



Fag
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:19:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself".



Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:21:09 PM EDT
Fold the American flag
Discuss something rationally
Admit when he's wrong
Fight for when he's right
Be able to duct-tape someone to a wall, telephone pole, etc. without hurting them (unless intentionally)
Lead a snipe hunt
Tell a ghost story that will truly frighten the snot out of a bunch of Cub Scouts
Discuss the basics of using fire in any situation (camping, welding, cooking, grilling, shooting)
Belch
Be respectful of ladies, until they prove themselves to be otherwise


And lastly, be able to spell.

Originally Posted By Dragonfly228:
Know that a 2x4 is actually 1.5" x 3.5" in dimention



Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:21:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By simply_green:
Shed a tear for a fallen comrade.



+1
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:22:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/5/2006 3:26:32 PM EDT by m-dc]

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself".





guess I didnt even consider that option. I was thinking from a survival point of view.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:23:59 PM EDT
pray.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:24:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself".





guess I didnt even consider that option. I was thinking from a survival ponit of view.



ah...okay....just remember if we're stranded on a desert island together you sit over there ------------------->
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:24:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



You don't mean prison love do you!?
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:25:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself".





guess I didnt even consider that option. I was thinking from a survival ponit of view.



ah...okay....just remember if we're stranded on a desert island together you sit over there ------------------->



What, no hug?
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:27:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself".





guess I didnt even consider that option. I was thinking from a survival ponit of view.



ah...okay....just remember if we're stranded on a desert island together you sit over there ------------------->



What, no hug?



If it was cold we could cuddle.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:27:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself".





guess I didnt even consider that option. I was thinking from a survival ponit of view.



ah...okay....just remember if we're stranded on a desert island together you sit over there ------------------->



What, no hug?



You both know in no time it'll be:
"Okay, who's turn is it to be Pamela Anderson?"
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:28:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By NME:

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself".





guess I didnt even consider that option. I was thinking from a survival ponit of view.



ah...okay....just remember if we're stranded on a desert island together you sit over there ------------------->



What, no hug?



You both know in no time it'll be:
"Okay, who's turn is it to be Pamela Anderson?"




Hey now, I'll always be the bitch with the boobs.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:29:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By david_g17:
pray.



Amen.


I would add CPR and basic life-saving/first aid, for both adults and children/infants (very significant differences in some cases).
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:31:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By NME:

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself".





guess I didnt even consider that option. I was thinking from a survival ponit of view.



ah...okay....just remember if we're stranded on a desert island together you sit over there ------------------->



What, no hug?



You both know in no time it'll be:
"Okay, who's turn is it to be Pamela Anderson?"




Hey now, I'll always be the bitch with the boobs.



Improvised strap-on.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:31:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By NME:

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By m-dc:

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:

Originally Posted By m-dc:
Make love with out the aid of a woman



If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself".





guess I didnt even consider that option. I was thinking from a survival ponit of view.



ah...okay....just remember if we're stranded on a desert island together you sit over there ------------------->



What, no hug?



You both know in no time it'll be:
"Okay, who's turn is it to be Pamela Anderson?"




Hey now, I'll always be the bitch with the boobs.


Thank you darling.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:38:55 PM EDT
Play Chess
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