User Panel
Posted: 4/5/2006 2:25:54 PM EDT
A couple buddies and I came up with a list of what every man should know how to do. In no particular order we came up with the following list:
Start a 2-stroke engine Carve a turkey Operate a manual transmission vehicle Handle a firearm safely Make love to a woman Ride a bike Hang a picture (level and centered on a wall) Know that a 2x4 is actually 1.5" x 3.5" in dimension Siphon liquid (with only a hose) Train a dog Operate a motorcycle Change a diaper Hammer a nail, bolt a bolt and screw a screw (without injury) Draw a map to your house Hook up a computer Cook at least one impressive meal (from scratch) Swim Tie a bowline, square, overhand and hitch knots Tie a tie Toss a baseball, baseball, and frisbee (and be able to catch one tossed to you) Throw at least one effective type of punch and kick Dress game Start a roaring fire (gas grill not included) Amended Sharpen a knife effectively Jumpstart a car Shave Spit Fell a tree Fold the American flag Play chess, poker, black jack, and Risk Read a map Use a compass Be polite Administer basic first-aid and CPR Basic sewing/mending |
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Chop down a tree.
Shave (even if you don't) Spit set points using a dwell meter. load a trunk jump start a car |
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Gut something besides a fish, like a squirrel or a deer.
Change a tire |
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thats why we have wives |
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Fart and clear a room.
Make babies laugh. wipe ass with leaves. Ride fat chicks, get caught and still look cool. Wreck on a motorcycle, and still look cool. Cut down a tree with an axe. Cut down a tree with an chainsaw. Operate heavy equipment. Drink all night, then go to work all day, then repeat. Operate all hand and power tools. Know what/where a clit is, and how to treat it. Throw a ball. Catch a ball. read a map. Read a compass. Start a fire without matches. Live off the land. Unclog a stool. Wire a house. Fix a window. Take care of livestock. Butcher said livestock. Hunt and fish. Play golf. EDIT: forgot to add, Smoke cigerrettes and cuss like mad. |
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Fight effectively with his fists, a knife, sword, axe, pistol, rifle, and shotgun. (not saying you gotta be Rambo but you should at least be able to look like you know what you are doing.)
Navigate, or at least read a map and be able to find north. |
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Not to mention 'grease the axles on a Conestoga wagon'. Setting points is no longer an "everyone needs to be able to do this so they can tune their own car" skill, it is a "very, very few people need to even know what this is, except for those who choose to drive classic cars" skill. I know how to do it, but I wouldn't include it on the list of things to teach my kid. Jim |
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lol, no no - I was just trying to figure out how to teach my son all of these things. No worries, he'll have to figure out the "Make love to a woman" on his own. I'm not that good of a scout. |
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Judging from another thread, that might just be one of the things a female teacher instructs him in. |
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Quick pass over the mountains, then concentrate your expedition in the valley. |
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I'm afraid my son will be part of the 30 something crowd going "damn....none of my teachers wanted to teach me that" |
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Well, I'm good on all of those except I have no clue how to "bolt a bolt." Anyone?
Edit: I would add: a man should know how to build a house--at least the basics of concrete work, framing, wiring, HVAC (ductwork), how to sweat copper and figure out how to make shit run downhill in the DWV, siding, roofing, hanging doors, trim, etc. He should know how to sharpen a knife to "shaving sharp." He should know the various etiquette principals of being a gentleman. More to come. |
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Better slow down at the pass. |
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Obligatory Heinlein "What You Should Know" quote:
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That's one I still haven't learned... and I have a new set of points to put in my Porsche... although I will probably switch to an optical trigger. Points are SO 30 years ago! |
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Subscribe to threads without writing "tag"
Know what 87 means RTFM Clear browser cookies & history before his wife comes home Encrypt .jpg & .mpeg files Get free pron Find a wife/gf/(both) that is "willing" without being "asked" |
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If I were you, I would rephrase that to "by yourself". |
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Fold the American flag
Discuss something rationally Admit when he's wrong Fight for when he's right Be able to duct-tape someone to a wall, telephone pole, etc. without hurting them (unless intentionally) Lead a snipe hunt Tell a ghost story that will truly frighten the snot out of a bunch of Cub Scouts Discuss the basics of using fire in any situation (camping, welding, cooking, grilling, shooting) Belch Be respectful of ladies, until they prove themselves to be otherwise And lastly, be able to spell.
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guess I didnt even consider that option. I was thinking from a survival point of view. |
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ah...okay....just remember if we're stranded on a desert island together you sit over there -------------------> |
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You don't mean prison love do you!? |
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What, no hug? |
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If it was cold we could cuddle. |
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You both know in no time it'll be: "Okay, who's turn is it to be Pamela Anderson?" |
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Hey now, I'll always be the bitch with the boobs. |
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Amen. I would add CPR and basic life-saving/first aid, for both adults and children/infants (very significant differences in some cases). |
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Improvised strap-on. |
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Thank you darling. |
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