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Posted: 2/13/2006 2:27:00 PM EDT
Top 11 Reasons Dick Cheney Shot Harry Whittington

11. Whittington bears a remarkable resemblance to a quail

10. Just to watch him die

9. Whittington had just filled his SUV and Cheney wanted the oil

8. Cheney tired of Jesse Ventura's taunts about him for never having hunted man

7. Cheney thought Wittington was a major league a-hole, big time

6. Iraq war bloodlust no longer satisfies the Vice President

5. Cheney missed his own foot in a failed attempt to avoid military service

4. Wittington was putting the moves on Lynne

3. Flight path of the bird shot somehow altered by global warming

2. Wittington suggested to Cheney that they make the hunting trip "Brokeback Mountan" style

1. Cheney was offended by a cartoon Whittington drew
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:30:06 PM EDT
12. Whittington "Mad dogged" him and Cheney had to represent.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:32:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2006 2:35:26 PM EDT by HarrySacz]
Whittington shot a bird that Cheny thought was his,so Cheny choose to ''keep it real''
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:36:01 PM EDT

Originally Posted By HarrySacz:
He shot a bird that Cheny thought was his,so he choose to ''keep it real''



I didnt know the article called VP Cheney an aspiring rap artist.


lmao
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:36:02 PM EDT
Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
His whole world's come undone
From lookin' straight at the sun
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:39:56 PM EDT
Any chance this was a duel?
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:40:05 PM EDT
Having troubles laughing at this..
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:41:40 PM EDT
So you know that Leno is going to have some good one liners, Letterman is going to be a complete ass and base his entire show on it, John Stewart will be 1000 times worse and assfuckshitstain Bill Maher has probably stroked out over the possibilities....
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:47:06 PM EDT
Whittington was punkin' on W so Cheney busted a cap just to represent, see whatime sayin?
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:47:23 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:53:00 PM EDT
The bird was wearing an explosive vest, and Cheney destroyed it. It's not birdshot in the dudes face, it's the stuff from the bird-bomb. He saved the guys life.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:56:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By KA3B:
So you know that Leno is going to have some good one liners, Letterman is going to be a complete ass and base his entire show on it, John Stewart will be 1000 times worse and assfuckshitstain Bill Maher has probably stroked out over the possibilities....



Although to be fair, it IS comedy gold.


Even WE joke about Cheney's Haliburton Hurrican machine, after all.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:56:11 PM EDT
While Cheney's back was turned, Whittington yelled "Dick look out, it's Chuck Norris." Dick spun around and shot in self defense.

Who among us wouldn't have done the same thing?
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 2:59:56 PM EDT
CHENEY WAS WRONG SHOOTING THIS MAN!!!!!
WHATS WRONG WITH U PEOPLE?





­
everyone knows, the correct shotgun round for a LAWYER is a deer slug, or 00 buckshot, DO NOT USE BIRDSHOT FOR LAWYERS.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:01:56 PM EDT
how about that cheney just wanted to "draw down"
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:03:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2006 3:04:20 PM EDT by wildbill44]
Whittington is a organ donor.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:04:39 PM EDT
13. somebody yelled Quail and Cheney assumed it was Dan Quayle and just started blazing..


Again... Drum roll..

(0_o) Dan
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:07:14 PM EDT
And a lot of people think that birdshot is OK for self defense!
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:10:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2006 3:13:05 PM EDT by 50cal]
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:16:11 PM EDT


I heard Cheney spun around and yelled "IN MY COUNTRY I AM CALLED THE GOVENOR!! SEE HOW MY CLIQUE MOB WILL DEAD YOU!!"
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:17:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Having troubles laughing at this..



That makes two of us.

Nothing funny about a firearm accident.

Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:20:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Having troubles laughing at this..



That makes two of us.

Nothing funny about a firearm accident.

Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.




Goes to show you that it can happen to ANYONE.

I don't find a thing funny about it.

Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:21:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Stosh333:
12. Whittington "Mad dogged" him and Cheney had to represent.



What did he have to represent? Is he a lawyer? A stand-in of some sort?

White folk want to know!
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:26:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2006 3:29:50 PM EDT by lobsterman]

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Having troubles laughing at this..



That makes two of us.

Nothing funny about a firearm accident.

-Seems simple to me! I don't think that i want to shoot with most of you.


Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.educational thread. see you when i catch up




Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:28:06 PM EDT



1. Cheney was offended by a cartoon Whittington drew



Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:30:32 PM EDT



Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.



DICK CHENEY ??? A GREAT MAN???

Put the pipe down, and step away from it...

Cause by god... You must be High...

(0_o) Dan
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:32:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DanSharp:


Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.



DICK CHENEY ??? A GREAT MAN???

Put the pipe down, and step away from it...

Cause by god... You must be High...

(0_o) Dan



Whats wrong with Dick Cheney?
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:35:17 PM EDT
I thought Lawyers didn't come in season until March?
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:39:20 PM EDT
Well, this is just another example of how easy it is to get shot while bird hunting in groups of more than two. I refuse to take my chances anymore with upland game. Politics aside, Cheney is supposedly pretty handy with the steel, so it just goes to show it can happen to anyone.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:43:17 PM EDT
Must be ok out here, headline in local paper read: CHENEY BAGS LAWYER...
laughed my ass off!!
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:48:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Having troubles laughing at this..



That makes two of us.

Nothing funny about a firearm accident.

Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.



Agreed.

Who's a what now?
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:48:41 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2006 3:49:33 PM EDT by TheKill]

Originally Posted By DanSharp:


Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.



DICK CHENEY ??? A GREAT MAN???

Put the pipe down, and step away from it...

Cause by god... You must be High...

(0_o) Dan



Listen.....

When I was a younger man, and a lot more of a turd, I used to think "I could do what he does", or "I could do better". I used to always buck authority. I hated supervisors and managers. I always thought I knew the answers, and they were all full of shit. And I wasn't shy about telling people.

I was a touring musician, so I didn't have a real job until I was 26. When I finally went into the workforce, I started out being entrusted with millions of dollars or equipment and hazardous materials in sufficient quantities to kill entire towns.

I then moved into a supervisory role, where I had to make decisions that affected a lot of other people, and made a difference of hundreds of thousands of dollars a year plus or minus.

I then became a company officer, and was directly in charge of leading a group of people, interacting with officers, managers, and employees in other departments, forming effective working relationships, and keeping the company working safely, moving forward, and making money.

My point is, I have now actually experienced enough challenges to really see the forest instead of just a couple of stupid trees.

All of us have something in common....our best frame of reference is ourselves. And if someone asked me, in the career/leadership area, if I was a "great man" I would most certainly tell them "no way". I might call myself a "pretty good man" as we say in my field. Or an "experienced man". And I can tell you, that while I am no Cheney groupie, the man is indeed a great man. Hell, he wasa great and talented man BEFORE he became VP.

So, unless you can prove to me, right now, that Cheney is guilty of total and complete gross incompetence in his position, or that you are Donald F-ing Trump......STFU, and come back to this thread when you have either gotten out of college, broken out of your little world and taken on some challenges, or BOTH.


Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:43:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheKill:
So, unless you can prove to me, right now, that Cheney is guilty of total and complete gross incompetence in his position, or that you are Donald F-ing Trump......STFU, and come back to this thread when you have either gotten out of college, broken out of your little world and taken on some challenges, or BOTH.





Well said.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:44:23 PM EDT
Haliburton has the local Ambulance and ER room contract.

Cheney thought he was carrying weapons of mass destruction (Pepper spray).
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:46:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By quijanos:

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Having troubles laughing at this..



That makes two of us.

Nothing funny about a firearm accident.

Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.




Goes to show you that it can happen to ANYONE.



First of all its not an "accident." It's neglegence. Civil neglegence at least and criminal negligence if Cheney was impaired by alcohol or drugs wat the time of the shooting.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:50:42 PM EDT
I'll have to go with OP on the humor (or lack thereof) factor.

As for Cheney being a great man, I'll give you one thing that fucking sucks about that guy.

<­BR>

He isn't at the top of the ticket.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, libtard troll.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:52:18 PM EDT
I am not a hunter. However, well over 50% of the bird hunters I know have at least one garment (usually a ball cap or a jacket) peppered with and shredded by birdshot, which they keep handy to display and laugh over. I somehow don't think this is all that big a deal.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:52:52 PM EDT

Originally Posted By spartacus2002:

I heard Cheney spun around and yelled "IN MY COUNTRY I AM CALLED THE GOVENOR!! SEE HOW MY CLIQUE MOB WILL DEAD YOU!!"





Then he rifled his pockets as he lay wounded for the money he paid on his Anus computers.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:53:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2006 4:54:44 PM EDT by Old_Painless]

Originally Posted By AR15fan:

Originally Posted By quijanos:

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Having troubles laughing at this..



That makes two of us.

Nothing funny about a firearm accident.

Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.




Goes to show you that it can happen to ANYONE.



First of all its not an "accident." It's neglegence.



It was not an intentional shot. Therefore, it was an "accident".

Mr. Cheney made a mistake. No denying that. But what he did was just an accident.


Civil neglegence at least and criminal negligence if Cheney was impaired by alcohol or drugs wat the time of the shooting.


Now AR15fan, that's just pitiful.

There is no reason to even believe that "alcohol or drugs" were involved. No evidense or statements about that were even mentioned.

You know better than to do that.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:54:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Having troubles laughing at this..



That makes two of us.

Nothing funny about a firearm accident.

Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.



Same here. Not exactly comic material here fellas.....
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:57:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tromatic:
The bird was wearing an explosive vest, and Cheney destroyed it. It's not birdshot in the dudes face, it's the stuff from the bird-bomb. He saved the guys life.



Yeah...it kind of is a shit sandwich ain't it?
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 5:03:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:

Originally Posted By AR15fan:

Originally Posted By quijanos:

Originally Posted By Old_Painless:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Having troubles laughing at this..



That makes two of us.

Nothing funny about a firearm accident.

Nothing funny about ridiculing a great man that made a serious mistake.




Goes to show you that it can happen to ANYONE.



First of all its not an "accident." It's neglegence.



It was not an intentional shot. Therefore, it was an "accident".

Mr. Cheney made a mistake. No denying that. But what he did was just an accident.


Civil neglegence at least and criminal negligence if Cheney was impaired by alcohol or drugs wat the time of the shooting.


Now AR15fan, that's just pitiful.

There is no reason to even believe that "alcohol or drugs" were involved. No evidense or statements about that were even mentioned.

You know better than to do that.



I know some people drink while hunting. I have no idea if the VP is one of those slob hunters. I do know Cheney has heart problems which may require medication. I would have to know which meds to tell you if impaired judgment, coordination, motor skills or vision are amoung those sides effects.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 5:17:48 PM EDT
I heard he was just trying to conduct a test he referred to as:

The Lawyers O'Truth

(Sorry OP )
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 5:21:45 PM EDT

Bill Maher has probably stroked out over the possibilities....



silver linings, silver linings....
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 5:29:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2006 5:31:02 PM EDT by BushMeister]


Wittington is lucky Cheney didn't swing his donkey dong at him!
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 5:31:37 PM EDT

Originally Posted By spork:
Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
His whole world's come undone
From lookin' straight at the sun



I heard them singing that on the Bob and Tom show this morning!

I was laughing like an idiot the whole time.


- BG
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 5:35:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BushMeister:
picture.funnyjunk.com/pics/weird_cheney.jpg

Wittington is lucky Cheney didn't swing his donkey dong at him!



Jesus! Thats his concealed carry!
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 6:48:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:
I am not a hunter. However, well over 50% of the bird hunters I know have at least one garment (usually a ball cap or a jacket) peppered with and shredded by birdshot, which they keep handy to display and laugh over. I somehow don't think this is all that big a deal.



If their hat was shredded by birdshot then their head would have been shredded also if the hat was on their head when it was shot.

It is traditional for skeet and trap shooters to have their hat taken off and thrown on the ground and shot by their peers as a celebration of having broken 25 straight clay birds. That is probably what you saw.
Link Posted: 2/14/2006 2:25:53 AM EDT
I also heard that just before he shot, Cheney said "Yo homey.....that my briefcase quail?"
Link Posted: 2/14/2006 3:58:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:

Originally Posted By KA3B:
So you know that Leno is going to have some good one liners, Letterman is going to be a complete ass and base his entire show on it, John Stewart will be 1000 times worse and assfuckshitstain Bill Maher has probably stroked out over the possibilities....



Although to be fair, it IS comedy gold.


Even WE joke about Cheney's Haliburton Hurrican machine, after all.




No "Comedy Gold" in this thread so far.
Link Posted: 2/14/2006 4:14:38 AM EDT
I would still rather go hunting with Cheney than a long drive with Kennedy.
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