Nope. Looks may get my attention first, but brains/personality is what keeps me around.

Quoted: Quoted: Eh...Unless you can prove that this behavior is genetic and solely based upon the XX chromosome and life in America combo, it has no basis in fact. In my life, I've met alot of whacked women. I've also met alot of whacked men. The problem is, the ones who are whacked usually snag an un-whacked and convert him/her to whacked-ness. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. I WILL say that when I run into a whcked female, I hate her more than I do a whacked male: it's because of her that the rest of us females have to work twice as hard. YMMV I need not prove anything, actually. But I take your meaning.  Besides.  I seem to see you as the type that has a built-in aversion to the psycho bitches that Troy and I have met up with. It's one thing to be 'whacked' as you put it.  Quite another to be...out of touch, as it were.

Aversion? Honey!
I am doing a show right now at a local community theatre. First nite of rehearsals, I had my female co-star pegged as a loon after 3 minutes of conversation.
Sure 'nuff, she dropped out with 3 weeks to go before opening nite. AND (as I had predicted) sent a "heart wrenching Camille-esque" email to cast and crew.
I sent it to my male co-star with, "Frikkin Drama Queen" written on my reply.
Her husband (I've never met him) will be better off without her...but I fear he may have been assimilated into "whacked-dom.

Quoted: Quoted: Eh...Unless you can prove that this behavior is genetic and solely based upon the XX chromosome and life in America combo, it has no basis in fact. In my life, I've met alot of whacked women. I've also met alot of whacked men. The problem is, the ones who are whacked usually snag an un-whacked and convert him/her to whacked-ness. I never said that it was exclusive to women.  Tons of guys are whacked too, but this post was about women, not men (and the topic was chosen by a woman, remember).  I'm happy to talk about men, but let's make that another post. My point is: if you look at the pool of SINGLE women, 70% or more of them are psycho.  You may not see it that way, because many of those women are good at hiding it, so that you wouldn't notice it in casual conversation.  And, not being a guy, you aren't likely to try to "get to know her" like we would.  If you did, you might find that there are a lot of women who LOOK like they are normal, responsible people on the surface, but when you start talking to them about REAL issues, you quickly learn that they are batshit insane.  And full of denial. I don't say any of this to complain, and I certainly don't say it to belittle women.  I don't WANT them to be that way, and I've done what I could to help a few women through some of those issues.  But the question was asked "what do men look for in a woman?", and the answer, for a lot of us, is for those exceptions, who are sane, reasonable, responsible, and trustworthy. And, for many men, until they can find one of those exceptions, they will just look for women who will put out, because few men will let the fact that they can't find a relationship-worthy woman to stop them from having sex and companionship.  That's the cold, hard truth. -Troy

Your view seems disproportionately negative...and THAT will affect your search, no?
If you go into the pool thinking 70% of the swimmers have peed into it, what's the point of doing that awesome cannonball off the diving board, ya know?
Granted, as a married female, I see things differently:My single friends are still swimming while I am floating on an innertube sipping a martini.
I just think that you can't go into it negatively.

How Guys Select Gals

Well, I don't know about you folks, but for me it often involves liquor and/or a lapse in judgement.

I click on their thumbnail.

Allright, I will more than grant that a much humongously greater percentage of guys are what I'll subjectively phrase as "right-thinking, squared away" than gals.  

I mean, yikes, I just waited in line at the Subway between two of my humans of my own hormaonal configuration.  I so seldom among women in a "peer" capacity  that I tend to notice these things.  The one if front of me couldn't figure out what she wanted on her sandwich (but she was young and gorgeous) and the one behind me knew what she wanted but was about 80 to 100 lbs overweight.  

Just to theorise, let us say generously that perhaps 30% of women are halfway ("acceptably") right-thinking and squared away (don't go postal, gentlemen... I said "geneously" and reduced the qualifications to a low of "acceptable")  ...

... and let's be equally generous to those of the testosterone persuasion and grant that perhaps as many as 60% of men are "acceptably" right thinking, squared away.  

That still leaves only a gap of roughly 30% difference.  

Why in the world can't the squared away ones mate with the other squared away ones?  Admittedly that will leave 30% of guys out *ahem* shopping on-line or visiting places requiring industrial strenth solvents to detoxify the lingering melody.

So why do a lot more than 30% of the guys here have such horror stories, or chime in to commiserate that *all* women are "whacked"?

1) Is it one of our previous poster's theory that "whacked out " people pair of with non-whacked, and then bring them down to whackedness?

2) Guys' mating habits based upon visually oriented hormonal function cause them to pair off with long-term-unsuitable "gorgeous" chicks, then they find themselves stuck with some flaming lunatic douchebag?

I'm just wondering why so many squared away guys here have not found quality women?  

Is it that is the lust of youth (or of any age) they are so dazzled by hormones that they enter into the old shackle-ball-and-chain thing with The (long-term) Unsuitable?

Trust me gentlemen, it would be mighty hard to hurt my feelings on this, and I am definitely *not* sticking up for whack cases.  My business partner doesn't think I should even be allowed to vote, and I tell him, "Allrightey, you just go ahead and repeal *all* those other amendments, and I'll vote right alongside you for it"

Quoted: Why in the world can't the squared away ones mate with the other squared away ones?

That is pretty much what happens.  You hear from the others.
I would dispute your numbers just a little.

50-60% men are squared away

10, maybe 20%(generous) women are.

That is MO.

So why do a lot more than 30% of the guys here have such horror stories, or chime in to commiserate that *all* women are "whacked"?

WEll, how many do you think we have all dated?
And how many are we in contact with daily?
The normal ones don't pop up on the radar, the screwy ones wreak havoc wherever they go.

Quoted: How Guys Select Gals Well, I don't know about you folks, but for me it often involves liquor and/or a lapse in judgement.

No doubt.

Quoted: Aversion? Honey! I am doing a show right now at a local community theatre. First nite of rehearsals, I had my female co-star pegged as a loon after 3 minutes of conversation. Sure 'nuff, she dropped out with 3 weeks to go before opening nite. AND (as I had predicted) sent a "heart wrenching Camille-esque" email to cast and crew. I sent it to my male co-star with, "Frikkin Drama Queen" written on my reply. Her husband (I've never met him) will be better off without her...but I fear he may have been assimilated into "whacked-dom.

Fine, fine, you got me there.  But how many of them have played psychotic, emotional mind-games with you, after three years and a marriage propsal? I think we're looking at the same thing from different perspectives.

Quoted: Your view seems disproportionately negative...and THAT will affect your search, no? If you go into the pool thinking 70% of the swimmers have peed into it, what's the point of doing that awesome cannonball off the diving board, ya know? Granted, as a married female, I see things differently:My single friends are still swimming while I am floating on an innertube sipping a martini. I just think that you can't go into it negatively.

What if the water's a murky sort of yellow?

Quoted: A lot of women are insane. A lot of men are stupid and all men are horny. Throw the two together, and you're going to get a lot of poor choices, on both sides of the equation.

Man, if that ain't hitting the nail on the head.

Oh yeah... and the "baggage" deal.  

It's like guys carry their baggage in the little-used knapsack in the trunk of the car, where as *lots* of gals carry it around like Carmen Miranda with a fruit basket on her head.    

Quoted: What if the water's a murky sort of yellow?

That's what happens when ya swim with sharks....

This post contains two facts:

1.  There is a growth on my scrotum

2.  Women are crazy

Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe  

Well, I've read everything through the third page as I type, and I must say that I am yet another male confused by the female of the species.

I am an early thirties type single guy who has pretty much given up the chase.  One will have to fall into my lap.  Really.  I have a hard time choosing - simple fact is that I have been burned too many times.

I have tried the brains above beauty in my last two relationships - didn't work.  One was faking and the other was manipulative.

I have tried the beauty first many times and have walked away or been cheated on a couple of times.

Is it me?  Probably, but in most of my relationships I wind up walking away because I learn that the woman I am with is not one who can be a true companion and a mother to any children that may come along.  Bottom line is that I am a man (not a guy).  I went through the Army, worked my way through undergrad, and borrowed  money for law school.  Now I can work and enjoy life and give love, stability, and security to someone special.  I have always considerd myself stable and self sufficient.

Why do I elaborate so?  It's because most of the guys here have worked just as hard, but still have to swim through a lot of shit to reach a safe haven.  It's because every damn "woman" (read "girl") I've dated thought that she shouldn't have to work as hard to get what they want, much less what they need.  By the time you reach my age, the ones worth having are either 1.  Gone, or 2.  Already been had and now looking for the first "stable" guy they can find in an effort to solve THEIR problems.  (You know the ones I'm talking about either out at a bar looking for Mr. Right, or peering around under the pews at church looking for a fresh squirrel to pounce upon)

Don't get me wrong, I've chased tail plenty.  But I'm tired of chasing just ANYTHING (But not about to give up on the womenz ).  I look for all the attributes that make a good person, but they are hard to find nowadays in the female form, but I look for attractiveness too.  You can't judge a book by the cover, but the title and the picture on the cover is usually what makes you pick up a book you don't know in the first place  

Too many times I have been sold a bill of goods on items that do not come with the model or are not warranted.

Flame suit on.

I think everyone should get the baggage thing straight.  Both sexes carry baggage.  A man can say he doesn't want a woman with baggage but where does he drop off his bags before coming into the relationship?

Alot of them don't because they are also in denial of owning any (baggage, that is).  There are plenty of crazy guys out there too.  We have to remind ourselves that if a man isn't together he will most likely gravitate to someone that also has a few problems.  I don't know how it works out that way -- maybe problems are magnetic???

If both of you were sane to begin with (before baggage) chances are the road will smooth out eventually.  You have to think the person is worth the ride.  If you don't, by all means be honest with the person and move on.

It's not the baggage necessarily but how you carry it.  No one is immune.  Ask any woman married to a war veteran, they have boat loads of it.  No one walks off a battlefield without it unless they had no emotions when they enlisted (and that is just not true).

unacceptable baggage:

Kids
Being Divorced
"Reformed" whore
Coming from parents that got divorced
Having been in a abusive relationship in the past

Just my standards...

OK, guys...'fess up:  Do you end up with screwed up women because you get bedazzled by 'looks' and ignore the grey matter upstairs?

Basically........YES!

Young
Dumb
Full of cumb

Oh...to know at age 21, what I know now......

I'm now 46 and don't really focus on looks anymore.

She: better not be boring, must have a great (sick, demented, and twisted) sense of humor, must be fun to be around, must be smart.

Damn you, Troy.  You're making me blush!

Quoted: I find it interesting that the women who post here usually start out with "don't lump us in with the few bad ones" and then follow that with "I don't get most women either; they're whacked in the head."  The fact is that MOST women, in the US at least, ARE whacked.  They have completely skewed priorities, let their emotions totally run their lives, have little sense of personal or financial responsibility, and their relationships are an utter wasteland.  That's the sad truth, and no one wishes it were not true more than I do. Yes, we KNOW there are exceptions; many of us will only consider a serious relationship when we find one.  But many of the women here (perhaps Gabby aside) underestimate the percentage of women who are serious disasters. Any guy can tell you that the "good ones", those "exceptions", get grabbed up quickly, so it's rare to find one who is single.  Some of the greatest, most attractive (to me) women I've ever met were dating or married to guys I considered "good guys" that I would never do anything to undermine.  Most of the remaining pool of women, you know, the ones that are "single", tend to be psycho or are carrying enough baggage to fill the Titanic. Sure, there are plenty of crappy guys out there too.  I see women with them all the time, and know that those women must have had some serious problems growing up to put up with them. Anyway, to answer your question: the most attractive quality in a woman to me is ATTITUDE.  I look for a woman who tends to see the good instead of the bad (without ignoring the fact that the bad exists), and who is generally happy in life.  Bitchy, moody, or perpetually sad women are not attractive. Brains and beauty round out the selection.  A woman has to be able to discuss things other than shoe styles and who is banging who on Survivor.  She has to have some opinions of her own, even if I don't always agree.  She needs to be responsible to herself and for herself.  And then, looks will play a part, but I'm much more attracted to a "plain" girl with a great attitude than a "hot" girl who is a bitch or is irresponsible and needy. Finally, sex should be mentioned.  Most men want sex, and plenty of it.  And most men are willing to take some direction or work with their ladies to improve their sex life, if need be.  But if a woman has no sex drive, or tries to use sex as a weapon, most men are going to be gone.  If a woman has a sex-related issue, she's going to need to work it out before she can expect to have a healthy relationship.  I've seen a lot of otherwise good relationships destroyed because the woman would withhold sex, and then guilt the guy to death because he wants some. Don't take any of this stuff personally; if the shoe fits, wear it, and if not, ignore it.  I'm just telling you how it is. And given the above, when a man can't find a good woman, is it really surprising that they start playing the "Man-Ho" game?  Men aren't going to go without some companionship... -Troy

+1,000

Me, I want:  Non-smoking, non-prozac, non-felon, no kids, occasional social drinker, cute, 24-35YO, non-dysfunctional and financially stable.   I am all of the above only 38 YO.

I've got a good one now that's almost all of the above that I'm dating and marriage hasn't been ruled out.

But, the last one I thought was a good one was wearing that $6K rock while she was sucking the cocks of about six other guys (and eating at least two pussies -- and she didn't even have the decency to let me watch that!!).  Today, without the "love" blinders, I realize she was a shallow, gold-diggin' Barbie doll that was rude in bed (yeah, she looked nice, but that only lasts so long) and stupid too.

There are TONS of dysfunctional women out there.  I can't speak for the single guy pool, but the single women are, to me, strictly catch and release.

As for marriage, I think it's over-rated.

John

Quoted: A lot of women are insane. A lot of men are stupid and all men are horny. Throw the two together, and you're going to get a lot of poor choices, on both sides of the equation.

Pithy....very pithy.  I like it!

Quoted: Coming from parents that got divorced

That's unfair.  I know lots of good, conservative people who come from broken homes.  Many people of my generation rebel against our parents by being conservative.  

Gotta pass the Mark I eyeball test, at least.

I'm fairly flexible on the rest since I'm not looking for anything serious.

Brains or lack thereof.....that's a given.  

Quoted: Quoted: Coming from parents that got divorced That's unfair.  I know lots of good, conservative people who come from broken homes.  Many people of my generation rebel against our parents by being conservative.

Lots of doesnt equate to the majority of them.  They have skewed views on relationships and in my expirence seem jealous of my family.

This of course applies to women and not men.  I'm willing to bet boys from broken homes are less affected than girls, but then I'm only in the market for girls so...

I can see their body before I see their brain.  That is how male to female attraction works.

Women, get over it.  It's how we're wired, for better or for worse.




Caveat: The woman I want to fuck and the woman I want a long lasting relationship with are differant things.  I want to fuck Jennifer Love Hewitt until she's broken.  I'm interested in a relationship with a woman I know named Bri, who looks similar to Hewitt only in my eyes...and yes she does have good brain in her.

Quoted: Dang it, guys... seems like everytime I log onto here there are consistently new threads from guys griping about (us) gals, as a gender.  As if we were all general issue with same software to go with the hardware. Admittedly, I don't have many common interests with most women... but some of my best friends are gals.  Working in an all-male environment, I often find myself working as a "translator".  And I am as "out of the loop" about a lot of frequent female behavior as a lot of you guys.  It  doesn't make sense to me either. But I am wondering... how do you guys (in general) go about selecting mates? Do you look for beauty first and brains second?   Nothin' wrong with beauty, mind you.  But when one choose looks over brains... I mean you get predictable results.   Unless a gal really, really takes care of herself, those 'looks' our going to go lard-tub blimpo virtually overnight, and here you (I speak in a figurative sense) come whining to your buddies about why gals are so eff'ed up.   OK, guys...'fess up:  Do you end up with screwed up women because you get bedazzled by 'looks' and ignore the grey matter upstairs?

hmmmmm.....psyops4fun.........this must be a TRAP!

I would say that the trait I look for and is ever elusive in females today....

...is decency.  That is all.  Just decency.

Wow , 4 pages already , and I don't feel like reading
them . So I'll just toss in my 2¢.

How Men Choose Women :

1 . Yeah I'd do her .

2. She says yes

End of story .

The hard truth is that if women just gave most guys some sex on a
regular basis and didn't try to make us better by nagging us to death .
Then most guy's would be way more open to change , and happy to do things
without a fight

Quoted: Me, I want:  Non-smoking, non-prozac, non-felon, no kids, occasional social drinker, cute, 24-35YO, non-dysfunctional and financially stable.

If you want those things, you need to stick to 30yo+ women. they are more mature and sure of themselves. Just look out for the spinsters who are so set in their ways that it makes them completely freaking OCD nutty.

What a fucking catch-22: young women are immature and crazy; older women are obstenent and crazy.
::SIGH::

I guess it's back to hookers and blow.

My six steps to meeting a lady/women.

1st step.
Looks. If the lady has the personal hygiene thing down and takes some pride in herself, her looks will reflect that attitude. Personal pride is not to be confused with vanity.

2nd step.
Personality. Evaluate the personality and the role it plays with her looks. Some ladies are obviously vane to the point of self-destruction. As noted above, do not confuse pride with vanity. I've known ladies that were absolutly beautiful from a physical standpoint but their personality was such that they appeared ugly to me.
Personality is of most importance. I've known ladies who from their appearance took pride in themselves and took hygiene seriously but were not what one would ever consider beautiful. But what they lacked in physical beauty they made up for with a beautiful personality.
A lady who can tell a joke (funny or not), who can laugh at her own mistakes, is not too self critical, who is not overly critical of others, who has the ability to be silly and serious at the right times....
Compassionate without being a spineless whimp. Open minded but able to draw the line if someone tries to walk on her....

3rd step.
Responsability. The ability to be able to be self-sufficient, manage day to day event's but know how to have fun also. All work and no play makes for a unhappy life.
I've known ladies who put their careers/jobs 1st above EVERYTHING else. They were beautiful people but too tired to smile and too busy to stop and smell the flowers. I appreciate a women who is driven to succeed........BUT, there has to be some "me" time, or their will not be an "Us". On the opposite side is the lady who is waiting for someone to foot all the bills. You know the one.... You meet, she has a good job and is making a decent living. You get serious in the relationship, you combine households and together your living quite comfortably... the bills are paid you actually have extra money in the bank, then one day you come home and she says....... I quit my job since you make enough money and I'm going to clean house for "Us".....yada yada yada. We've all known one of these types. In my case, I came home to find everything I own.....gone. That's right! GONE!....EVERYTHING!

But I digress.........

Step 4.  
Compatability. This one is important. If your not compatable with your lady than be honest with yourself and her.
Do not stay around just to "Tap the keg". There are too many "kegs" that can be tapped and most likely you are compatable with one of them. Too many men and women stay in a relationship because their scared of being alone or aren't comfortable in their own skin. Once you become comfortable with yourself your life will be much easier. It's not fair to yourself or her and the longer you stay in an un-compatable relationship the harder it is to do the right thing.

Step 5.
Family. A lot can be learned from her family. If the family is great most likely it's a good indicator of what she's like. If the family is disfuntional..............than most likely your life will resemble that of a "bellhop". You know.........the guy who has to deal with all the baggage at the hotel. Do you work for a hotel........maybe, maybe not. But it's a sure thing that carrying her baggage will not earn you a tip.
This situation is NOT 100% accurate. I've met some fine ladies who came from dis-funtional families, but were smart enough to rise above her families level and lead a productive and confident life.

Step 6. Honesty/integrity. Need I say more.


YMMV.



PS: Sex.......Quality over quantity, but too little is still not enough!
As long as she understands the concept.........I'll teach her the rest.
Or at least share some ideas.......

Based on what 1jackal just posted, is it possible for two type A personalities to have a healthy relationship? I would think that when your partner understands the need to succeed, there is less emotional stress in the relationship.

Quoted: <SNIP> -Troy

Preach it, brother Troy! Lawdamercy, praise gawd.

Quoted: I guess it's back to hookers and blow.

Cheaper!
Trust me on that!

Quoted: Caveat: The woman I want to fuck and the woman I want a long lasting relationship with are differant things.  I want to fuck Jennifer Love Hewitt until she's broken.  I'm interested in a relationship with a woman I know named Bri, who looks similar to Hewitt only in my eyes...and yes she does have good brain in her.

for me, they are the same thing.  i don't have the two-level approach.  for me to be in a relationship with a woman, she has to be both physically and mentally attractive, as well as being a good person.  i don't settle for anything less.  

smart but no physical attraction--friend.

pretty but not mentally stimulating--fling.  (if i'm in the right mood)

Cliff Notes:

Look good (intangibles count)

Don't Nag

In a nutshell I look for a woman who exhibits most, if not all, of the following traits (listed in no particular order):



Personality-------I'm looking for someone who is outgoing and who likes to have fun. Someone who is personable but not necessarily a party girl. Going out every so often if fine, well and good but I don't want to spend every night or every weekend in some stupid club. I'm only 34 and I'm already getting cranky. If I can make it to 60, I'm gonna be a total ass.

Okay, back to the personality. Basically, I'm looking for someone who is sanguine and enjoys living life and who, for the most part, has a very positive outlook on people and life in general.


Attitude-------This is similar to the above personality traits but I want to make a subtle, yet important, distinction here. Others have already mentioned it but I will repeat it again. I don't want a woman who is bitchy and/or child-like. We ought to be able to have disagreements without being disagreeable and without trying to manipulate each other with selfish and spoiled attitudes. Relationships should be (at least partially) about compromise. I give a little, she gives a little and we meet somewhere in the middle.


Intelligence------This one speaks for itself. I'm not looking for the female version of albert eistein but, on the same token, I want my potential mate to have an above-average level of intelligence and common sense.  In return, I'll try my absolute best to provide the same. I'm not a complete idiot.


Looks-----Again, this should speak for itself. I'm not looking for the supermodel (or slut) look but, on the same token, I don't want to live with shamu the beached whale, either. Hair color doesn't really concern me to much one way or another. However, historically, I've been most attracted to brunettes and real blondes (rather than bottle/fake blondes). I don't anyone who's flat chested but I don't want dolly parton and/or the I'm-made-up-of-50%-silicone-look either. Please ladies, if at all possible, keep yourselves all natural because I don't want to marry a coke bottle. Basically, the typical, girl-next-door, look is good by me. Also, be a lady in public but a tigeress in the bedroom, if ya catch my drift.



Money-------Money is important and bills will have to be paid but I don't want our lives revolving around a constant lust and obsession over having it and pursuing it. I'll do my part and I expect her to do her part, as well. I promise to do whatever I can to make sure that our family has everything it needs and will attempt as best as I can to provide much of what it desires as well. I expect the same attitude and actions from my mate.



Kids--------I would like to have some kids of my own before I die and I don't mind being  somebodys step-father but me and the wife will HAVE to be equal partners in raising the children. I may not be the biological father but I will not tolerate being shut-out of critical decisions that will effect the childs upbringing. However, to be honest, I would like to have some of my own children, as well, so, obviously, my potential mate should have the desire and ability to have more children if we marry.



Sex------I think sex is a very important part of a relationship and, as such, it should be a regular, happy, fulfilling component in a marriage. All things being equal and okay, 2 to 3 times per week shouldn't be a problem. The husband and wife should have a natural desire to come together as often as possible. If they don't then, IMO, something is wrong about the relationship and it should be addressed and solved as quickly as possible. Also, neither sex nor children should ever be used as weapons in a marriage.



Religion---------I'm not perfect and there's no halo floating over my head but I still consider myself  to be a practicing christian and I want to marry someone who identifies themself as a christian also and not in just name only but in actions and attitudes, as well.  It's important to me and I try to live it out individually as best and as geniunally as I can. I'd expect the same from my mate, as well. Not perfection, mind you, but day-to-day consistency. I will do my best to return the same back to her and the children.

Quoted: The normal ones don't pop up on the radar, the screwy ones wreak havoc wherever they go.

I need to get new radar or update it.

Quoted: Values.  Priorities.  Relationships.  That kind of thing. -Troy

Problem is.. when I bring those subjects up, they don't want to talk about it.

Probably also has to do something with them being early/mid 20s. Or.. I am moved into the friendzone.

I'd agree with some assesments here, one has to be attracted to someone to have the desire to get to know her at all.  

Someone else also touched on this aspect:  There are two types of women men would be attracted to - the hot, good looking fuck-toys... the ones they'd want to bang, but not likely have a relationship with.  Then there's the ones we would want to have relationships with - more average, better (actual) personalities, etc etc.

Myself, I do dig women that are attractive.  I generally like petite women, and I prefer brunettes.  

Recently, I met a girl online, and went out with her a couple times.  Physically, she's VERY petite (4'7", and completely proportional... great little ass... ) but thought she was kinda hyper and a bit.  Then talking to her on the phone last week, she says she went to see her doctor.  I asked what was wrong with her, and she mentions she's bipolar.     RED FLAG!  RED FLAG!!!   I'll have to break that one off... even though I think it would be fun to see what she's like in the sack... I don't want to deal with psychological problems...

There is another young lady I know, whom I think very highly of.  She's sweet, beautiful (a little flat, but still very beautiful), smart, has a great sense of humor, and is pretty conservative.  However, I think she's the kind that is very much into her career.  She's working long hours, travelling a lot, and working long hours, and did I say, working long hours?   She'd be a great catch, and we're still talking.  Hopefully I'll get to see her soon and maybe see if I can set the hook.  

So I'll sum up what I look for:   Has to be attractive - TO ME.  I can be attracted to women whom most men would not think are very attractive.  This can be due to how she carries herself (how she dresses and grooms herself), or how she talks and laughs, and things like that.    I like women that either don't have a ton of baggage, or at least that don't carry it right in front of them.  Women that know how to take care of themselves, and are independant are good, but they also need to be at least a little vulnerable.  

Well, that's a little... it's hard to really sum it up...

I meet women on teh basis of brains first, looks second (I meet them at school, so I'm lucky)  personality comes third unfortunately!

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Eh...Unless you can prove that this behavior is genetic and solely based upon the XX chromosome and life in America combo, it has no basis in fact. In my life, I've met alot of whacked women. I've also met alot of whacked men. The problem is, the ones who are whacked usually snag an un-whacked and convert him/her to whacked-ness. I never said that it was exclusive to women.  Tons of guys are whacked too, but this post was about women, not men (and the topic was chosen by a woman, remember).  I'm happy to talk about men, but let's make that another post. My point is: if you look at the pool of SINGLE women, 70% or more of them are psycho.  You may not see it that way, because many of those women are good at hiding it, so that you wouldn't notice it in casual conversation.  And, not being a guy, you aren't likely to try to "get to know her" like we would.  If you did, you might find that there are a lot of women who LOOK like they are normal, responsible people on the surface, but when you start talking to them about REAL issues, you quickly learn that they are batshit insane.  And full of denial. I don't say any of this to complain, and I certainly don't say it to belittle women.  I don't WANT them to be that way, and I've done what I could to help a few women through some of those issues.  But the question was asked "what do men look for in a woman?", and the answer, for a lot of us, is for those exceptions, who are sane, reasonable, responsible, and trustworthy. And, for many men, until they can find one of those exceptions, they will just look for women who will put out, because few men will let the fact that they can't find a relationship-worthy woman to stop them from having sex and companionship.  That's the cold, hard truth. -Troy Your view seems disproportionately negative...and THAT will affect your search, no? If you go into the pool thinking 70% of the swimmers have peed into it, what's the point of doing that awesome cannonball off the diving board, ya know? Granted, as a married female, I see things differently:My single friends are still swimming while I am floating on an innertube sipping a martini. I just think that you can't go into it negatively.

I don't think Troy's view is disproportionately negative at all, he is looking at it from a completely factual and objective stand point. Letting emotions, even positive will skew your point of view, thats what happens when we "settle". Every guy here has either been in a situation or knows someone else  who lowered their standards trying to be positive. You think, "she wasn't a loon the first year we dated, maybe its just a phase". You start to make concessions to make the last year or two or ten not be a complete waste of your time, its a downward spiral. Troy's point of view seems to be, its either right or it isn't, and he's not settling

Quoted: Quoted: Values.  Priorities.  Relationships.  That kind of thing. -Troy Problem is.. when I bring those subjects up, they don't want to talk about it. Probably also has to do something with them being early/mid 20s. Or.. I am moved into the friendzone.

I've seen your pics and have read your posts...you'd NOT be in that zone if I were single and in your zipcode.

I dunno, there's been alot of humor, insight and downright madness in this thread. I have learned that all men don't want Pam Anderson types and that is a GOOD thing, I've also learned that when it comes to attracting the opposite sex, everybody's different in their definitions of what makes a person attractive.
Which does make it harder for the single ones out there.
We've been married so long it's hard to say what the initial attraction was (we dated on and off thru high school and married soon afterwards) but I can tell you that Mr. PMM likes the nape of my neck and my hip flexors. (he's a bit of a freak)
He also likes that I am fearless...well, most of the time he likes it. The time when we were in the biker joint, he wasn't the least bit approving.
For those of you searching, all that comes to mind is what my gram used to say:
Ya gotta kiss alot of toads before you find your prince.
I suppose men must do the same before they find their princess.




Chapstick anyone?

To answer your question:

1. Personality
2. Brains
3. Looks

I'd date an ugly chick, as long as she wasn't too chubby, if she could meet 1 & 2.  It's very hard to find someone you can talk to, and 20 years down the road, I'll be glad I have that instead of a looker anyway.

I evaluate based on the following criteria:

- How much would I like to hit it from behind?  [ETA, this is not as simple as it sounds.  There is a multi-faceted rating system.]
- Can I stand to be around her for more than 2 hours straight?

Quoted: Wow , 4 pages already , and I don't feel like reading them . So I'll just toss in my 2¢. How Men Choose Women : 1 . Yeah I'd do her . 2. She says yes End of story . The hard truth is that if women just gave most guys some sex on a regular basis and didn't try to make us better by nagging us to death . Then most guy's would be way more open to change , and happy to do things without a fight

dead on accurate...

The only perfect woman I ever met (beautiful, smart, kind, generous, patient, never makes love without a heart-stopping mating of souls, hard-working, even-tempered, et c., et c.) ended up married to a fat, hard-drinking, opinionated, sociopathic bastard. OTOH, she's sleeping in my bed about 25'away, and will kiss me before my eyes open in the morning, so I guess it's OK.

Nice ass.
Comfortable/fun to be around.
Nice ass.
Likes guns.
Nice ass.

Really, though, its just not something you can put on a checklist.  It's kind of a "whole woman" thing.  Physically, there is almost always SOMETHING to like.  If her head is screwed on right, it all comes together nicely.  Even if there are a couple of bolts missing in the brain housing group, it's ok, if it feels right.  It might even be a benefit since it keeps things interesting.

It's not the selection process that yeilds results, it's the ability to make it through the tough times that produces what you REALLY want.  Unfortunately, there is no way to find out in advance and frankly, people (yes, women AND men) change.

Oh, yeah, did I say "nice ass?"

Class. I look for class in a woman - it will reveal itself in the way she dresses and carries herself.

I also like beautiful pale skin.

Oh, and cannons, too. wO0T! Bewbies!