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Posted: 1/30/2006 1:38:59 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 1:39:13 AM EDT by Specop_007]
Lets say you've been dating someone for a while. Long enough to know it isnt just a "flavor of the month" kind of thing. You havent gotten full on I Do serious, but both of you could see it happening.
At some point she confesses that sometime before you in the past she had an abortion.

Would you stay with her? Is abortion grounds for leaving a woman?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:39:23 AM EDT
no
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:45:05 AM EDT
She is a human being with feelings. Treat her right if she treats you right.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:50:11 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 1:50:49 AM EDT by Badseed]

Originally Posted By twonami:
no





If you love her... I think y'all can push through that. If you don't, dump 'er ass and call it a day.

This is something I see frequently... on this here board (normally, I just try to cause trouble). But when it comes to love; follow your heart. If you feel she is so enigmatic that you must post such an intimate question.... she is NOT the girl.

You shoiuld simply know.

Edit: I agree w/ nami
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:52:04 AM EDT
No,

My exdhad an abortion before i met here and even when I met her she told me that she couldnt have kids.

Our breakup was mutual. I didnt care about her past. It was her life.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:56:21 AM EDT
No. That said I have never dated someone with children. I am 29.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:58:50 AM EDT
Probably.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:58:55 AM EDT
I have. Although it wasn't the primary reason. She sure did try to use it for an emotional advantage though....
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 2:03:41 AM EDT
IMO not quite as bad as dating the gal who has kids.....


I don't need to be raising some other man's kids.



People do make mistakes. That doesn't mean that I have to live with them.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 2:03:56 AM EDT
It means she puts out, so no I wouldn't ditch her.

Oh wait, is this a trick question???

I just know this is one of those goofy moral traps.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 2:45:00 AM EDT
Don't judge someone by where they were but where they are today.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:09:59 AM EDT
No, but I also don't give a fuck about abortions. People that froth at the mouth over the abortion issue are either men or are nutjobs.



- rem
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:10:48 AM EDT
No.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:33:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Specop_007:
Lets say you've been dating someone for a while. Long enough to know it isnt just a "flavor of the month" kind of thing. You havent gotten full on I Do serious, but both of you could see it happening.
At some point she confesses that sometime before you in the past she had an abortion.

Would you stay with her? Is abortion grounds for leaving a woman?



It depends.

You get her pregnant, and she doesn't tell you. She goes and gets an abortion without telling you. You find out a month later while still dating her. Would you be upset?

You get her pregnant, and she tells you. You want to keep the baby and she doesn't. She gets an abortion. Would you be upset?

How do you feel about having a child if she gets pregnant? Would you have her get an abortion?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:34:50 AM EDT
No.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:35:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Specop_007:
Lets say you've been dating someone for a while. Long enough to know it isnt just a "flavor of the month" kind of thing. You havent gotten full on I Do serious, but both of you could see it happening.
At some point she confesses that sometime before you in the past she had an abortion.

Would you stay with her? Is abortion grounds for leaving a woman?



Confessed out of trust and intimacy before we are married, no.

Admitted to after I found out about it third hand or after we were married, ya.

Even women who have had abortions can get right and be redeemed. But I know a woman who aborted two children without ever telling her husband. That right there is cause for kicking the sorry woman out the door.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:35:54 AM EDT
Yup. Abortion is baby killing
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:37:33 AM EDT
Probably not.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:38:16 AM EDT
No.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:38:29 AM EDT
Probably.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:41:18 AM EDT

Just remember two things about abortions:

1. For some reason girls who have an abortion often have trouble getting pregnant or carrying a baby to term in the future. I don't know why this is, but it seems to be a pattern with girls I know/have known. Of course not always.

2. This is the bad one to me. A girl has an abortion and it doesn't bother her too much. Five years later she sees a five year old and realizes her aborted child would be just like that. That seems to be when it starts getting to them. If she has been having trouble conceiving it's that much worse.

Of course these things don't always happen but be prepared for the possibility if you stick with this girl.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:42:47 AM EDT
No. I married her.

AB
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:43:48 AM EDT
No, I have a rule.

I judge you from what you have done from the day I met you forward.

I want the same in return.

This eliminates past "sins and relationships" from being an issue in the future.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:44:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Specop_007:
Lets say you've been dating someone for a while. Long enough to know it isnt just a "flavor of the month" kind of thing. You havent gotten full on I Do serious, but both of you could see it happening.
At some point she confesses that sometime before you in the past she had an abortion.

Would you stay with her? Is abortion grounds for leaving a woman?



Absolutely NOT in and of itself
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:45:24 AM EDT
Would you ditch her if she was in a hotel having a wild sex party with 2 midgets and a truck driver?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:45:44 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:47:04 AM EDT
Depends on whether she views that act as right or wrong today. I know 4 or 5 women who have had them and only 1 does not regret her decision and would do it again. People make mistakes.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:47:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By alaman:
Yup. Abortion is baby killing



There are no unforgivable sins besides possibly "Despair"=Loss of hope in the goodness of GOD'S
Grace.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:49:51 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:52:09 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:53:33 AM EDT
No.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:54:03 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TimJ:
Yes, dumpsville.
Abortion, drugs, wanton sluttiness are all grounds for immediate dismissal.

Waht kind of selfish person murders their own baby because it's "inconvenient"?



i mostly agree. i could allow for a person being in an absolute low point in their life and understand that bad decisions can be made in such a manner. I struggle w/ an issue like this though. How can anyone make such a serious decision so flippantly? That point in itself would probably mean that I really have very little in common in the person no matter how they feel about it now.

I think the most important question is how you feel about it. Is she having a recent change of life moment? Or has she got a track record to support her change? Time is a good test of peoples character.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:58:50 AM EDT

Originally Posted By remedy:
No, but I also don't give a fuck about abortions. People that froth at the mouth over the abortion issue are either men or are nutjobs.



- rem



I have this little problem with people brutally murdering babies. Call it a flaw in my personality.

Recently a nurse came forward with an eyewitness account where a pair of twins was aborted.

Problem was, they wouldn't die. So the doctor put them in the sink and poured sterile water in their mouths and drowned them. Then the doctor cut the babies' ears off and sold their body parts.

So the nurse just could not take it anymore and quit her job. She must be a real loser, huh?

The above sort of thing is legal and happens every day.

But... no big deal.

Signed,

Glad to be a Man and Nutcase (in your opinion).

PS -

Go to Google Images and type in "abortion" .

Have a look at the nightmare. If you have the guts.


PPS -

To answer the original question:

Forgive the woman for her past. Everyday every liberal and feminist says that abortion is a wonderful wonderful thing.

There is more than one person who fell for that evil lie.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:58:56 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Specop_007:
At some point she confesses that sometime before you in the past she had an abortion.

Would you stay with her?



Assuming she regrets it and is no longer pro-"choice", then no, I wouldn't leave her. We all make mistakes.

I, myself, once decided, along with the then-GF, that she would have an abortion. It turned out not to be needed (she wasn't pregnant after all), but the decision was made. It's a stain on my conscience I've only recently moved on from.


Is abortion grounds for leaving a woman?


If she has one behind your back, or had one or more without regret, then HELL yes.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:04:44 AM EDT
No. For whatever reason, people make choices that they, and they alone have to live with. I would not hold it against someone for making a crucial decision for something like that. She did it for a reason - which is her own business, in a time when you were not part of her life.

That said, my GF had one when she was just out of high school (1988). It was her decision, baed on a stupid choice she made prior. I do not now, and never will hold it against her for that.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:07:01 AM EDT
If people judged me by things I did in the past I'd be in a world of shit. I used to be a complete and utter asshat of monumental proportions. I didn't run around committing felonies or anything, but I really was a fucking asshole in a myriad of ingenious "colorful" ways. Of course you couldn't tell me that at the time because I was convinced I was the most brilliant creature ever to stalk the planet.

Ignorant, zealous, bitter, and full of testosterone (potentially vodka as well depending on what year it was). Yeah buddy.

I'm probably still an asshat, but I'm fairly certain I'm markedly more civilized than I was in my younger days.

Besides, I figure my past is none of anyone's business. If anyone wants to grill me about something I don't want to discuss I'll make up a boring, convenient lie and that will be the end of that. If I want someone to know something, I'll tell them without them asking. Makes life easier on everyone, eh?

There is one exception to the rule: I would like to know if any woman I was "with" happend to be an escaped vivisectionist. That's one bit of knowledge that could potentially come in handy. You know. For general purposes.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:18:32 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Maxxx:
No. That said I have never dated someone with children. I am 29.



29, eh? As you get older, women with kids are pretty much going to be all that's out there for dating.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:24:38 AM EDT
NO.

Never judge others lest ye be judged yourself.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:24:40 AM EDT
sorry, but I woudln't date a woman that murdered a child because she was irresponsible.

I also don't date womenz with bad credit and hubcaps missing on their cars.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:32:34 AM EDT
Never met a person who has not made a mistake. I would hate to be judged by my past. Forgiveness is a good thing.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:35:10 AM EDT
Nope...
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:37:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Echo_Hotel:
If people judged me by things I did in the past I'd be in a world of shit. I used to be a complete and utter asshat of monumental proportions. I didn't run around committing felonies or anything, but I really was a fucking asshole in a myriad of ingenious "colorful" ways. Of course you couldn't tell me that at the time because I was convinced I was the most brilliant creature ever to stalk the planet.

Ignorant, zealous, bitter, and full of testosterone (potentially vodka as well depending on what year it was). Yeah buddy.

I'm probably still an asshat, but I'm fairly certain I'm markedly more civilized than I was in my younger days.

Besides, I figure my past is none of anyone's business. If anyone wants to grill me about something I don't want to discuss I'll make up a boring, convenient lie and that will be the end of that. If I want someone to know something, I'll tell them without them asking. Makes life easier on everyone, eh?

There is one exception to the rule: I would like to know if any woman I was "with" happend to be an escaped vivisectionist. That's one bit of knowledge that could potentially come in handy. You know. For general purposes.



McUzi is dat you...?!!


...
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:37:34 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:40:48 AM EDT
Provided she regretted it and didn't believe it was right anymore, no I wouldn't leave.
If she still believed abortion was morally ok, I'd be long gone. I'll pass on dating fans of infanticide.

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:43:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By red65:

I have this little problem with people brutally murdering babies. Call it a flaw in my personality.

Recently a nurse came forward with an eyewitness account where a pair of twins was aborted.

Problem was, they wouldn't die. So the doctor put them in the sink and poured sterile water in their mouths and drowned them. Then the doctor cut the babies' ears off and sold their body parts.

So the nurse just could not take it anymore and quit her job. She must be a real loser, huh?

The above sort of thing is legal and happens every day.

But... no big deal.

Signed,

Glad to be a Man and Nutcase (in your opinion).

PS -

Go to Google Images and type in "abortion" .

Have a look at the nightmare. If you have the guts.


PPS -

To answer the original question:

Forgive the woman for her past. Everyday every liberal and feminist says that abortion is a wonderful wonderful thing.

There is more than one person who fell for that evil lie.



sounds like anti BS
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:52:01 AM EDT
If you stay, be prepared for an emotional rollercoaster if and when you do have kids.

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:52:50 AM EDT
I'd probably end it. A person's history tells a large part of the story as far as a person's character, and that's not really the kind of girl I want to be spending my time with.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 7:06:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:
It means she puts out, so no I wouldn't ditch her.

Oh wait, is this a trick question???

I just know this is one of those goofy moral traps.



I think someone needs to dispatch Ackbar to this thread.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 7:37:41 AM EDT
One abortion, no.. Two, possibly. Three, RUN LIKE HELL, FORREST!

Yes, I dated one who had three abortions in the past.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 7:58:03 AM EDT
Been there, almost marrier her. Didn't matter, never really discussed it.
The ONLY thing that bothered me was she was having unprotected sex and not on the pill. Pretty irresponsible one way or the other.
I never had unprotected sex with her.
Oh, if it matters I was in my mid 20's at the time.
I'm 37. Still wouldn't be a deal breaker even though I have two kids with my wife now.
(I'm a nurse save it. I know the pill just about NEVER fails if taken correctly. If your girl said she was taking it when she got preg and wasn't on antibiotics or ignorant of one of the very few contraindicated situations...you are a sucker.)
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 8:01:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer:

Originally Posted By red65:

Originally Posted By remedy:
No, but I also don't give a fuck about abortions. People that froth at the mouth over the abortion issue are either men or are nutjobs.



- rem



I have this little problem with people brutally murdering babies. Call it a flaw in my personality.

Recently a nurse came forward with an eyewitness account where a pair of twins was aborted.

Problem was, they wouldn't die. So the doctor put them in the sink and poured sterile water in their mouths and drowned them. Then the doctor cut the babies' ears off and sold their body parts.

So the nurse just could not take it anymore and quit her job. She must be a real loser, huh?

The above sort of thing is legal and happens every day.

But... no big deal.

Signed,

Glad to be a Man and Nutcase (in your opinion).

PS -

Go to Google Images and type in "abortion" .

Have a look at the nightmare. If you have the guts.


PPS -

To answer the original question:

Forgive the woman for her past. Everyday every liberal and feminist says that abortion is a wonderful wonderful thing.

There is more than one person who fell for that evil lie.





sold the body parts huh? i'd like to see verfied documentable proof of this other than one nurses account. This is illegal on just about every level in the US. I'd also like to know where the doctor is serving time. She did report this to the police didn't she?

this is the reason i typically regard most rabid anti abortion folks as nutjobs. i don't like abortions nor do i think they should be allowed for birthcontrol on demand. But some of you guys will beleive absolutly anything if you think it supports your case.



Ok, forget the body parts. That was big news about 5 years ago when 20/20 did an expose' on a loophole that had doctors selling body parts. i believe at this time it is legal to collect parts but not profit from them, per a federal law c. 1999.

Suppose I'm all wrong about selling the body parts.

FORGET ALL ABOUT THAT PART.

Let's you and I stick to the part that can be proved.

Say photographic evidence.

Do this:

Be a stand up guy and look at the pictures on Google Images of abortions.

Look a range of pictures, from the little tiny dime sized fetuses right up to the fully grown ones.

Look at the little bloody bodies, torn and shredded, intestines hanging out, arms torn off, etc.

If you can look at that horror and decided that it's just ducky, then I pity you.

You think I'm a bad guy because I'm disgusted by abortion? WTF? Why wouldn't I be?

PEOPLE JUST WANT TO CHANT NICE SOUNDING SLOGANS.

Take your head out of the sand. Look at the pictures.

Clink this link and understand - WARNING VERY DISTURBING
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