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Posted: 6/18/2003 1:36:42 PM EDT
Ive got a friend who is dating a girl who could pass for a supermodel. She is gorgeous and treats him really well. I was at the bar with them the other night; she went up to order a drink and put it on his tab and he screamed at her, then she was talking to a guy friend of hers and he yelled at her again. When we go out he will ignore her until she leaves and then go pick up on other girls, (ones that arent nearly as nice or pretty as she is.) He cheats on her constantly with far less attractive girls, and tells me he wants to marry this girl since he can get away with cheating. It just doesnt make sense, she is a total knockout and he treats her like shit, and she cant seem to get enough of him. Whats the deal? It seems to be that way with alot of women, maybe they have emotional issues or somthing, I just dont get it. Maybe I need to start being a complete asshole.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 1:39:01 PM EDT
and you call this guy your "friend" ??? [whacko]
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 1:41:16 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 1:42:45 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 7IDL: and you call this guy your "friend" ??? [whacko]
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Good point, but other than that he is a good friend. I yell at him constantly about that.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 2:10:58 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 2:30:14 PM EDT
you'll find that this was the type of treatment she received
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I don't know about that. I know way too many young women that had great fathers that are only attracted to guys that treat them badly. I've also seen many of them treat nice guys with absolute contempt which I know was something many of them didn't learn at home. I don't know where this common problem comes from.z
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 2:30:27 PM EDT
Listen to Tom Leykis and the many women who call in to his show and you'll know why. I'll add that I largely agree with Troy, but make it clear that it doesn't always go back to being the fault of some man.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 2:33:55 PM EDT
Originally Posted By MAHABALI: Whats the deal?
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It's in thier nature.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 2:52:40 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/18/2003 2:53:52 PM EDT by TitaniumT]
Originally Posted By Kristofer:
Originally Posted By MAHABALI: Whats the deal?
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It's in thier nature.
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It is not in anyone's nature to want to be treated badly unless there is some pathology involved. Women put up with bad behavior from men as equally as men put up with bad behavior from women. That in it's self is pathological. One has to ask why any man or woman would want to be with someone that allows another to treat them disrespectfully. The woman in the OP's scenario may well be beautiful to look at, but she lacks signficantly important attributes that would otherwise make her complete; her "boyfriend" does as well. Any man that treats his "girlfriend" in such a disgraceful manner gets what he ends up with. His behavior is not anymore appropriate than her acceptance of it. Unless of course, he has a Visa Titanium card taped to his forehead and she's just in it for the free ride. TT [wave]
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 2:55:13 PM EDT
My friend and I have had this same conversation. We've decided we will spend the rest of our lives as bachelors because we just cannot lower ourselves to becoming assholes like that.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 2:55:51 PM EDT
Kris is correct. Women are "fixers" and "accomodaters" by instinct. Troy is also correct. If they had a bad alcholic father, thats what they look for to right the wrong. The thing that you are missing, is that these assholes, are confident. Confidence is the the key. Women can smell and taste this. My gut has grown, my hair has greys in it. I have never had so much fun with women like I do now. Did you also ever think, these assholes were the only ones that asked these girls out? Ask a good looking chick out and see what happens.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 3:02:26 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 3:03:24 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Troy: If you ask her about her father (or, if her father abandoned her, then whoever filled the role of "father figure"), you'll find that this was the type of treatment she received, and saw her mother receive, when she was growing up. To her, this is "normal" behavior, and what she is comfortable with. While she intellectually would like a guy to treat her nice, the reality is that she would end up leaving the nice guy, because his behavior would make her so uncomfortable that she would destroy the relationship. This is a very common problem, and usually one that needs some therapy to get over, or, for a smaller percentage of women, a significant event that "snaps them out of it" and makes them truly understand the error of their way. -Troy
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My wife's best friend in college had (has) a thing for asshole guys. She had an excellent father who treats her, her mother and her sister very well. He is a bit of a nerd (classic engineer nerd with the horn rim glasses, pocket protector, etc.), but he is in no way like the assholes his older daughter likes. I tend to think the propblem is hard-wired. Girls want dominant men, and dominant men tend to be assholes.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 3:14:52 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/18/2003 3:21:14 PM EDT by TitaniumT]
Originally Posted By ARDOC: Kris is correct. Women are "fixers" and "accomodaters" by instinct. Troy is also correct. If they had a bad alcholic father, thats what they look for to right the wrong. The thing that you are missing, is that these assholes, are confident. Confidence is the the key. Women can smell and taste this. My gut has grown, my hair has greys in it. I have never had so much fun with women like I do now. Did you also ever think, these assholes were the only ones that asked these girls out? Ask a good looking chick out and see what happens.
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I agree that women generally tend to like men who are confident, articulate, well educated, funny, etc. All attributes that reflect a strong healthy ego and are enhanced as most men age. As for finding a man with a large gut attractive, sorry that's just nonsense. I have a visceral response to an unfit body and the laxidaisical attitude that goes along with it. I disagree that men who display blatant disrespect and almost abusive behavior have health egos. I believe they behave the way they do to bolster or enhance their faltering egos. I believe they have tremendous insecurities that are reflected in their interactions with others. A self assured truly confident man does not need to treat anyone disrespectfully. TT
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 3:46:28 PM EDT
I to have noticed many a girls falling for assholes. Eventually I asked a few of my females friends about this and they all say the same thing. By the guy being a dick and cheating it causes drama in the relationship which girls love. When something dramatic happens they love it cause everything starts to revolve around them. Their sadists at heart.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 3:49:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/18/2003 3:51:46 PM EDT by Crookshanks]
[url]www.doubleyourdating.com[/url] David DeAngelo is my hero.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 3:59:57 PM EDT
Even if the women dont want to admit this, they like the assholes, or the majority do. i used to think "nice guys finish last" was bullshit and that if i continued to treat girls really well they would like me, but they dont...they just want to be friends with you. Being nice to girls always worked when i was younger but since college it hasn't. So I started being an asshole and girls wouldnt stop calling me or coming over...but i do admit a few girls i've met won't stand for the asshole routine, and you have to find a way to be nice and still seem really confident and original. I'm still trying to figure it out and i doubt i ever will.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 4:03:24 PM EDT
It's not really arrogance they're after, but confidence; however most of them can't tell the difference.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 4:06:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/18/2003 4:08:25 PM EDT by TitaniumT]
Originally Posted By Sam_Rothstein: Even if the women dont want to admit this, they like the assholes, or the majority do.
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What's the saying about likes attracting? [:D]
i used to think "nice guys finish last" was bullshit and that if i continued to treat girls really well they would like me, but they dont...they just want to be friends with you. Being nice to girls always worked when i was younger but since college it hasn't. So I started being an asshole and girls wouldnt stop calling me or coming over...but i do admit a few girls i've met won't stand for the asshole routine, and you have to find a way to be nice and still seem really confident and original. I'm still trying to figure it out and i doubt i ever will.
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The more I read posts like the above, the more I become aware and appreciate that my boyfriend is a rare breed of man - successful, confident, well educated, funny, articulate, attractive... ::sigh:: TT [wave]
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 4:22:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/18/2003 4:26:53 PM EDT by Phil_in_Seattle]
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 4:58:25 PM EDT
Yup..it's a arrogance that is mistaken for confidence. women want men who are confident and exciting...the jerk fits the bill perfect! Look online for a book called "Nice Guys don't get laid"...it's funny as all hell, and TRUE!!!!
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 5:15:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Crookshanks: [url]www.doubleyourdating.com[/url] David DeAngelo is my hero.
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I couldn't agree more. The book that is available on this site explains the majority of women and what they react to down to a T. It's worth the money. Right now he has a special going on you can get the eBook for free. If you don't like it just request your money back. You can't go wrong with this. Without this book I never would have been able to take my co-worker on a date to Atlanta. Crookshanks did you find this on your own or visit the site from one of my postings about it a month ago?
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 5:23:41 PM EDT
I have to add that a friend told me he gets more girls now than when he was young and fit. Now he has a big gut, and at 39 (almost 40), he dates hot 20 year old girls. He has lots of confidence with the ladies (and appears to be very confident, although I know that a lot of that is acting), is very outgoing, and has an aggressive personality. He is also self centered and and is about as mature as a typical 12 year old. He is good at getting phone numbers, dates, and sex, but doesn't do well in getting long term relationships. He isn't abusive in the manner some have discribed in this thread, but he really doesn't act respectful of women, except in a shallow sort of way. Good at buying flowers, that kind of thing, but also inclined to use 'em and loose 'em.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 5:24:47 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun: I to have noticed many a girls falling for assholes. Eventually I asked a few of my females friends about this and they all say the same thing. By the guy being a dick and cheating it causes drama in the relationship which girls love. When something dramatic happens they love it cause everything starts to revolve around them. Their sadists at heart.
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[u]Interesting![/u]
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 5:54:15 PM EDT
That is because he read and followed this book: [img]http://members.aol.com:/zmurgist/graphics/chicks.jpg[/img] This book is freaking hilarious! I was reading it one day in Barnes and Noble for an hour and it makes a pretty convincing argument that "nice guys" finish last. Basically, these guys have given up trying to figure out women (haven't we all) and advocate that if being an asshole can get you a supermodel, then what the hell, why not!
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 8:03:15 PM EDT
ROFL!
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 8:31:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SWIRE:
Originally Posted By Crookshanks: [url]www.doubleyourdating.com[/url] David DeAngelo is my hero.
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I couldn't agree more. The book that is available on this site explains the majority of women and what they react to down to a T. It's worth the money. Right now he has a special going on you can get the eBook for free. If you don't like it just request your money back. You can't go wrong with this. Without this book I never would have been able to take my co-worker on a date to Atlanta. Crookshanks did you find this on your own or visit the site from one of my postings about it a month ago?
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Missed your postings. I've been away from the site for almost 2 1/2 months, until about a week ago. I must have made a mailing list somewhere. I got an email for the product about 2 weeks ago. Almost didn't open it.
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 1:42:05 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/19/2003 1:45:19 AM EDT by Imbroglio]
Originally Posted By TitaniumT: I agree that women generally tend to like men who are confident, articulate, well educated, funny, etc.
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Uh, I feel that I fulfill all of those requirements, but I still ain't gots me none womenz. I do watch Dr. Phil everyday so that I may someday reach a defining moment in my life and have a quality and meaningful long term relationship.
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 3:19:54 AM EDT
Why do women like asshole guys?
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This usually is the excuse guys use for not getting laid. Take a look at yourself sometime. How do you dress? How do you comb your hair? What kind of car do you drive (doesn't have to be expensive, but keep the fucker clean for crying out loud, and try not to have any obvious rust spots)? I remember a post from one of our junior members awhile back about "why can't I meet women". He drove a purple truck and had a catepillar on his upper lip. Gee, I wonder.
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 3:31:10 AM EDT
chicks dig jerks.
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