Why do women like asshole guys?

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Why do women like asshole guys?

Posted: 6/18/2003 1:36:42 PM EDT

Ive got a friend who is dating a girl who could pass for a supermodel. She is gorgeous and treats him really well. I was at the bar with them the other night; she went up to order a drink and put it on his tab and he screamed at her, then she was talking to a guy friend of hers and he yelled at her again.

When we go out he will ignore her until she leaves and then go pick up on other girls, (ones that arent nearly as nice or pretty as she is.) He cheats on her constantly with far less attractive girls, and tells me he wants to marry this girl since he can get away with cheating.

It just doesnt make sense, she is a total knockout and he treats her like shit, and she cant seem to get enough of him. Whats the deal?
It seems to be that way with alot of women, maybe they have emotional issues or somthing, I just dont get it.

Maybe I need to start being a complete asshole.

Posted: 6/18/2003 1:39:01 PM EDT

[#1]

and you call this guy your "friend" ??? [whacko]

Posted: 6/18/2003 1:41:16 PM EDT

[#2]

[url=www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html]Everything you need to know. All questions answered.[/url]

Posted: 6/18/2003 1:42:45 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
and you call this guy your "friend" ??? [whacko]

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Good point, but other than that he is a good friend. I yell at him constantly about that.

Posted: 6/18/2003 2:10:58 PM EDT

[#4]

If you ask her about her father (or, if her father abandoned her, then whoever filled the role of "father figure"), you'll find that this was the type of treatment she received, and saw her mother receive, when she was growing up. To her, this is "normal" behavior, and what she is comfortable with. While she intellectually would like a guy to treat her nice, the reality is that she would end up leaving the nice guy, because his behavior would make her so uncomfortable that she would destroy the relationship.

This is a very common problem, and usually one that needs some therapy to get over, or, for a smaller percentage of women, a significant event that "snaps them out of it" and makes them truly understand the error of their way.

-Troy

Posted: 6/18/2003 2:30:14 PM EDT

[#5]

you'll find that this was the type of treatment she received

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I don't know about that. I know way too many young women that had great fathers that are only attracted to guys that treat them badly. I've also seen many of them treat nice guys with absolute contempt which I know was something many of them didn't learn at home. I don't know where this common problem comes from.z

Posted: 6/18/2003 2:30:27 PM EDT

[#6]

Listen to Tom Leykis and the many women who call in to his show and you'll know why. I'll add that I largely agree with Troy, but make it clear that it doesn't always go back to being the fault of some man.

Posted: 6/18/2003 2:33:55 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Whats the deal?

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It's in thier nature.

Posted: 6/18/2003 2:52:40 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Whats the deal?

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It's in thier nature.

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It is not in anyone's nature to want to be treated badly unless there is some pathology involved.

Women put up with bad behavior from men as equally as men put up with bad behavior from women. That in it's self is pathological.

One has to ask why any man or woman would want to be with someone that allows another to treat them disrespectfully.

The woman in the OP's scenario may well be beautiful to look at, but she lacks signficantly important attributes that would otherwise make her complete; her "boyfriend" does as well. Any man that treats his "girlfriend" in such a disgraceful manner gets what he ends up with.

His behavior is not anymore appropriate than her acceptance of it.

Unless of course, he has a Visa Titanium card taped to his forehead and she's just in it for the free ride.

TT [wave]

Posted: 6/18/2003 2:55:13 PM EDT

[#9]

My friend and I have had this same conversation. We've decided we will spend the rest of our lives as bachelors because we just cannot lower ourselves to becoming assholes like that.

Posted: 6/18/2003 2:55:51 PM EDT

[#10]

Kris is correct. Women are "fixers" and "accomodaters" by instinct. Troy is also correct. If they had a bad alcholic father, thats what they look for to right the wrong.

The thing that you are missing, is that these assholes, are confident. Confidence is the the key. Women can smell and taste this. My gut has grown, my hair has greys in it. I have never had so much fun with women like I do now. Did you also ever think, these assholes were the only ones that asked these girls out? Ask a good looking chick out and see what happens.

Posted: 6/18/2003 3:02:26 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Confidence is the the key. Women can smell and taste this.

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Oh yes, a woman can smell hesitation or fear like a shark in the water sniffing for blood.

Posted: 6/18/2003 3:03:24 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
If you ask her about her father (or, if her father abandoned her, then whoever filled the role of "father figure"), you'll find that this was the type of treatment she received, and saw her mother receive, when she was growing up. To her, this is "normal" behavior, and what she is comfortable with. While she intellectually would like a guy to treat her nice, the reality is that she would end up leaving the nice guy, because his behavior would make her so uncomfortable that she would destroy the relationship.

This is a very common problem, and usually one that needs some therapy to get over, or, for a smaller percentage of women, a significant event that "snaps them out of it" and makes them truly understand the error of their way.

-Troy

View Quote

My wife's best friend in college had (has) a thing for asshole guys.

She had an excellent father who treats her, her mother and her sister very well. He is a bit of a nerd (classic engineer nerd with the horn rim glasses, pocket protector, etc.), but he is in no way like the assholes his older daughter likes.

I tend to think the propblem is hard-wired. Girls want dominant men, and dominant men tend to be assholes.

Posted: 6/18/2003 3:14:52 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Kris is correct. Women are "fixers" and "accomodaters" by instinct. Troy is also correct. If they had a bad alcholic father, thats what they look for to right the wrong.

The thing that you are missing, is that these assholes, are confident. Confidence is the the key. Women can smell and taste this. My gut has grown, my hair has greys in it. I have never had so much fun with women like I do now. Did you also ever think, these assholes were the only ones that asked these girls out? Ask a good looking chick out and see what happens.

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I agree that women generally tend to like men who are confident, articulate, well educated, funny, etc. All attributes that reflect a strong healthy ego and are enhanced as most men age. As for finding a man with a large gut attractive, sorry that's just nonsense. I have a visceral response to an unfit body and the laxidaisical attitude that goes along with it.

I disagree that men who display blatant disrespect and almost abusive behavior have health egos. I believe they behave the way they do to bolster or enhance their faltering egos. I believe they have tremendous insecurities that are reflected in their interactions with others.

A self assured truly confident man does not need to treat anyone disrespectfully.

TT

Posted: 6/18/2003 3:46:28 PM EDT

[#14]

I to have noticed many a girls falling for assholes. Eventually I asked a few of my females friends about this and they all say the same thing. By the guy being a dick and cheating it causes drama in the relationship which girls love. When something dramatic happens they love it cause everything starts to revolve around them. Their sadists at heart.

Posted: 6/18/2003 3:49:14 PM EDT

[#15]

[url]www.doubleyourdating.com[/url]

David DeAngelo is my hero.

Posted: 6/18/2003 3:59:57 PM EDT

[#16]

Even if the women dont want to admit this, they like the assholes, or the majority do. i used to think "nice guys finish last" was bullshit and that if i continued to treat girls really well they would like me, but they dont...they just want to be friends with you. Being nice to girls always worked when i was younger but since college it hasn't. So I started being an asshole and girls wouldnt stop calling me or coming over...but i do admit a few girls i've met won't stand for the asshole routine, and you have to find a way to be nice and still seem really confident and original. I'm still trying to figure it out and i doubt i ever will.

Posted: 6/18/2003 4:03:24 PM EDT

[#17]

It's not really arrogance they're after, but confidence; however most of them can't tell the difference.

Posted: 6/18/2003 4:06:06 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Even if the women dont want to admit this, they like the assholes, or the majority do.

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What's the saying about likes attracting? [:D]

i used to think "nice guys finish last" was bullshit and that if i continued to treat girls really well they would like me, but they dont...they just want to be friends with you. Being nice to girls always worked when i was younger but since college it hasn't. So I started being an asshole and girls wouldnt stop calling me or coming over...but i do admit a few girls i've met won't stand for the asshole routine, and you have to find a way to be nice and still seem really confident and original. I'm still trying to figure it out and i doubt i ever will.

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The more I read posts like the above, the more I become aware and appreciate that my boyfriend is a rare breed of man - successful, confident, well educated, funny, articulate, attractive... ::sigh::

TT [wave]

Posted: 6/18/2003 4:22:03 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Unless of course, he has a Visa Titanium card taped to his forehead and she's just in it for the free ride.

TT [wave]

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That's not nearly as good as the Visa Plutonium card with the Tritium upgrade package though.

Actually boys read what TitaniumT is saying, she's on the ball here.

No one with a good self image would allow themselves to be treated that way.
What does an abuser need to be an abuser? All together now.. "a victim" Very good class.

Help that girl gain some self respect and a positive self image and she won't subject herself to a-holes again.

Posted: 6/18/2003 4:58:25 PM EDT

[#20]

Yup..it's a arrogance that is mistaken for confidence.

women want men who are confident and exciting...the jerk fits the bill perfect!

Look online for a book called "Nice Guys don't get laid"...it's funny as all hell, and TRUE!!!!

Posted: 6/18/2003 5:15:56 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
[url]www.doubleyourdating.com[/url]

David DeAngelo is my hero.

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I couldn't agree more. The book that is available on this site explains the majority of women and what they react to down to a T. It's worth the money. Right now he has a special going on you can get the eBook for free. If you don't like it just request your money back. You can't go wrong with this. Without this book I never would have been able to take my co-worker on a date to Atlanta.

Crookshanks did you find this on your own or visit the site from one of my postings about it a month ago?

Posted: 6/18/2003 5:23:41 PM EDT

[#22]

I have to add that a friend told me he gets more girls now than when he was young and fit. Now he has a big gut, and at 39 (almost 40), he dates hot 20 year old girls.

He has lots of confidence with the ladies (and appears to be very confident, although I know that a lot of that is acting), is very outgoing, and has an aggressive personality. He is also self centered and and is about as mature as a typical 12 year old. He is good at getting phone numbers, dates, and sex, but doesn't do well in getting long term relationships.

He isn't abusive in the manner some have discribed in this thread, but he really doesn't act respectful of women, except in a shallow sort of way. Good at buying flowers, that kind of thing, but also inclined to use 'em and loose 'em.

Posted: 6/18/2003 5:24:47 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
I to have noticed many a girls falling for assholes. Eventually I asked a few of my females friends about this and they all say the same thing. By the guy being a dick and cheating it causes drama in the relationship which girls love. When something dramatic happens they love it cause everything starts to revolve around them. Their sadists at heart.

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[u]Interesting![/u]

Posted: 6/18/2003 5:54:15 PM EDT

[#24]

That is because he read and followed this book:

[img]http://members.aol.com:/zmurgist/graphics/chicks.jpg[/img]

This book is freaking hilarious! I was reading it one day in Barnes and Noble for an hour and it makes a pretty convincing argument that "nice guys" finish last.

Basically, these guys have given up trying to figure out women (haven't we all) and advocate that if being an asshole can get you a supermodel, then what the hell, why not!

Posted: 6/18/2003 8:03:15 PM EDT

[#25]

ROFL!

Posted: 6/18/2003 8:31:25 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:

Quoted:
[url]www.doubleyourdating.com[/url]

David DeAngelo is my hero.

View Quote

I couldn't agree more. The book that is available on this site explains the majority of women and what they react to down to a T. It's worth the money. Right now he has a special going on you can get the eBook for free. If you don't like it just request your money back. You can't go wrong with this. Without this book I never would have been able to take my co-worker on a date to Atlanta.

Crookshanks did you find this on your own or visit the site from one of my postings about it a month ago?

View Quote

Missed your postings. I've been away from the site for almost 2 1/2 months, until about a week ago.
I must have made a mailing list somewhere. I got an email for the product about 2 weeks ago. Almost didn't open it.

Posted: 6/19/2003 1:42:05 AM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:

I agree that women generally tend to like men who are confident, articulate, well educated, funny, etc.

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Uh, I feel that I fulfill all of those requirements, but I still ain't gots me none womenz.

I do watch Dr. Phil everyday so that I may someday reach a defining moment in my life and have a quality and meaningful long term relationship.