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Posted: 12/26/2002 11:14:32 PM EDT
> A farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he > wants chicks. So, he goes own the road to the next > farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would like > to sell. > > The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great > rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you > got, no problem." > > Well, Kenny the rooster costs a lot of money, but the > farmer decides he'd be worth it. > > So, he buys Kenny, and takes him home, where he sets > him down in the barnyard, and gives him a rooster pep > talk. "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a > lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot > of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good > job. So, take your time and have some fun," the Farmer > said with a chuckle. > > Kenny seemed to understand, so the farmer pointed > toward the Hen house and Kenny took off like a shot. > > WHAM! - Kenny nails every hen in the hen house three > or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. > > After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck > pen. Sure enough Kenny is in there. > > Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese, > down by the lake. Once again-WHAM! He gets all the > geese. By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields > chasing quail and pheasants. > > The farmer is distraught and worried that his > expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. > > Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the > next day, to find Kenny on his back, stone cold in the > middle of the yard, with buzzards circling overhead. > The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful > and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, > Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you > to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." > > Kenny opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling > in the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer."
Link Posted: 12/26/2002 11:15:24 PM EDT
> An old lady is very upset as her husband Albert had > just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have > one last look at her dearly departed husband. The > instant she saw him she starts crying. > > One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort > in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains > that she is upset because her dearest Albert was > wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wishto be > buried in a blue suit. The undertaker apologizes and > explains that traditionally, they always put the > bodies in black, but he'd see what he could arrange. > > The next day she returned to the undertakers to have > one last moment with Albert before his funeral the > following day. When the undertaker pulls back the > curtain, she manages to smile through her tears as > Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit. > > She says to the undertaker "Wonderful, wonderful, but > where did you get that beautiful blue suit?" > > "Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about > your husband's size was brought in and he was wearing > a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very > upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black > suit," the undertaker replied. The wife smiled at the > man. > > He continued, "After that, it was simply a matter of > swapping the heads."
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