[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Stupid Turtle... (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 4/28/2011 5:15:44 AM EDT
Massive rainstorm yesterday. Got up this morning to let the dog out, and found this under my front porch:
You probably can't tell, but that sucker's about a foot and a half long. The porch is completedly surrounded with lattice except for a small area under the stairs. To get under there he'd have had to squeeze through that opening, and fall off a foot high concrete slab. There's no way he's going to find his way out again, so I'm going to have to remove a 5 foot section of lattice. Stupid, stupid turtle. |
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Ingredients
1 1/2 pound turtle meat (remove ALL fat) 2 3/4 teaspoon salt, in all 3/4 teaspoon cayenne, in all 6 cups water 1 stick butter 1/2 cup flour 1 1/2 cup chopped onions 2 tablespoons minced shallots 1/4 cup chopped bell peppers 1/4 cup chopped celery 3 bay leaves 1/2 teaspoon dried leaf thyme 2 tablespoons minced garlic 1 cup chopped tomatoes 1/2 cup Worcestershire sauce 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice 1/2 cup dry sherry 1/4 cup chopped parsley 1/2 cup chopped green onions 4 hard boiled eggs, finely chopped 2 tablespoons chopped green onions 2 tablespoons chopped hard boiled eggs Directions Put the turtle meat in a large saucepan with 1 teaspoon of salt, 1/4 teaspoon cayenne and the water. Bring to a boil. Skim off any foam that rises to the top. Reduce heat to medium and simmer for 20 minutes. With a slotted spoon transfer the meat to a platter. Cut the meat into 1/2 inch dice and reserve the liquid. In another large sauce pan, combine the butter and flour over medium heat, stirring constantly for 6 to 8 minutes to make a dark roux. Add the onions, shallots, bell peppers and celery. Stir occasionally and cook for 2 to 3 minutes until the vegetables are slightly tender. Add the bay leaves, thyme and garlic, cook for 2 minutes. Add the tomatoes and the turtle meat. Cook for 5 to 6 minutes stirring occasionally. Add the Worcestershire sauce, the remaining salt and cayenne, the turtle stock (about 6 cups) lemon juice, and sherry. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to medium and simmer for 10 minutes. Add the parsley, green onions, and eggs and simmer for 45 minutes. Garnish with green onions and chopped eggs |
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Quoted:
I bed he finds his way out. God, I hope so. He'll have to either climb up a foot high vertical concrete slab to get back out under the stairs, or dig his way out. There's trails through the dirt under there showing he's gone all the way around looking for an exit, so I don't think he's going to do either. My choices will be either wait until he dies, then remove the lattice and drag the body out before it starts to stink, or remove the lattice and either wait for him to get out on his own, or try and drag him out with a rake or something... can these suckers move fast on land? There's only about 3 feet of clearance under there, if he comes at me while I'm under there it'll be trouble. |
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Quoted:
One hand to grab the front of the shell and one to grab the back. Or if you are really chicken you can pick it up with a flat-nosed shovel and drop it in a big plastic lexan. No need to remove any fence. No, man, it's under my front porch, which is completed enclosed with a lattice. There's no way to get in there to get him, or let him out, without removing some of that lattice. |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
One hand to grab the front of the shell and one to grab the back. Or if you are really chicken you can pick it up with a flat-nosed shovel and drop it in a big plastic lexan. No need to remove any fence. No, man, it's under my front porch, which is completed enclosed with a lattice. There's no way to get in there to get him, or let him out, without removing some of that lattice. You can't fit under there, gotcha. It might be easier to dig a hole under the fence it can fit through, then fill it back in after it gets out. But it should be able to scale a 1 foot concrete step. |
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As another poster mentioned, there are two ways to go about grabbing this joker. In both cases you're holding on to the top edge of the shell.
One hand in back above the tail, the other supporting underneath. He can scratch you with his hind legs, but no biting. One hand above the head and the other above the tail. When I was a kid we used to catch snapping turtles all the time. If he's as big as you say he is, he's lived a pretty good while. No sense in killing him. |
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Yes. That's me. Except I have all my teeth, and rather than wallowing in ponds half naked, i work in an office wearing a shirt and tie. And I'm from New Jersey, not Kentucky. But other than that, we could be twins. 
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| Common snapping turtle. Remove the lattice and pull him out by the tail. Keep the head away from any parts of your body. Put him in a bucket or something and dump off in nearest body of water. It is probably a female looking to lay eggs. They're good eating, we used to eat them quite often back home in the midwest. |
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Quoted: Quoted: I bed he finds his way out. God, I hope so. He'll have to either climb up a foot high vertical concrete slab to get back out under the stairs, or dig his way out. There's trails through the dirt under there showing he's gone all the way around looking for an exit, so I don't think he's going to do either. My choices will be either wait until he dies, then remove the lattice and drag the body out before it starts to stink, or remove the lattice and either wait for him to get out on his own, or try and drag him out with a rake or something... can these suckers move fast on land? There's only about 3 feet of clearance under there, if he comes at me while I'm under there it'll be trouble. Don't be a pussy, for fuck sakes. Take the lattice off (I know, it's a big job  ) and set that fucker free. |
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Quoted:
It's there to lay eggs. It will just back up and hiss at you...unless you get close. Then it will snap really, really fast. Really? I guess that makes sense... there's a pond across the street from us, and a lake behind us, and we have a creek running through the yard, I guess, for hte suburbs, this is as close to ideal snapping turle country as you'll find. When do snapping turtle eggs hatch? |
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Quoted:
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It's there to lay eggs. It will just back up and hiss at you...unless you get close. Then it will snap really, really fast. Really? I guess that makes sense... there's a pond across the street from us, and a lake behind us, and we have a creek running through the yard, I guess, for hte suburbs, this is as close to ideal snapping turle country as you'll find. When do snapping turtle eggs hatch? IIRC, July. They will be about an inch across when they hatch. They are really cute little shits. 
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
It's there to lay eggs. It will just back up and hiss at you...unless you get close. Then it will snap really, really fast. Really? I guess that makes sense... there's a pond across the street from us, and a lake behind us, and we have a creek running through the yard, I guess, for hte suburbs, this is as close to ideal snapping turle country as you'll find. When do snapping turtle eggs hatch? IIRC, July. They will be about an inch across when they hatch. They are really cute little shits. Thanks! I'll free the mother when I get home tonight. In July I'll keep an eye out when mowing. |
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Quoted: Yes. That's me. Except I have all my teeth, and rather than wallowing in ponds half naked, i work in an office wearing a shirt and tie. And I'm from New Jersey, not Kentucky. But other than that, we could be twins. Poor bastard....... . |
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I'll bet he likes turtles. |