Stupid Turtle... - Page 2

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Posted: 4/28/2011 7:32:47 AM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
http://i725.photobucket.com/albums/ww254/bslaton24/Photo0036.jpg

at the zoo when my 4 yr old daughter spotted this

He's just tired and the other one is giving him a ride.

Posted: 4/28/2011 7:38:08 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:

Quoted:
http://i725.photobucket.com/albums/ww254/bslaton24/Photo0036.jpg

at the zoo when my 4 yr old daughter spotted this

He's just tired and the other one is giving him a ride.

"He's just scratching the other's back" (my grandmother to my 4yr old little brother watching two bovines mating)

Posted: 4/28/2011 7:42:22 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:

Quoted:
It's there to lay eggs.

It will just back up and hiss at you...unless you get close. Then it will snap really, really fast.

Really? I guess that makes sense... there's a pond across the street from us, and a lake behind us, and we have a creek running through the yard, I guess, for hte suburbs, this is as close to ideal snapping turle country as you'll find. When do snapping turtle eggs hatch?

IIRC, July. They will be about an inch across when they hatch. They are really cute little shits.

Yes, they are.

Here's a baby snapper at my lake from a few years ago.

When my house was being built in 2005, I saw a female trying to dig in the freshly dug dirt. I put her in a wheelbarrow and moved her up the hill. I've never seen any eggs laid near my lake or any hatchings.

Posted: 4/28/2011 7:44:03 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
http://ts4.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=819963174771&id=ba1c7ddde7d351754dbad177bb7e9e96&url=http%3a%2f%2fapi.ning.com%2ffiles%2fi8lDbHwHcLnGxVOajqJ6PDmeytKyGAfVNajGBDKa-Vf*VhZfd-8YkMfS9tmXAy9f1O9OMJYfSV54ZBzGHeIItt299oCznhjd%2fi_like_turtles.jpg

I like turtles!

Posted: 4/28/2011 7:46:18 AM EDT

[#5]

..........

Posted: 4/28/2011 7:48:22 AM EDT

[#6]

Just reach in and pull him out.

What could go wrong...?

Posted: 4/28/2011 7:55:45 AM EDT

[#7]

Stick something through and opening for him to grab onto. You can then pull him off.

Any real man would use his penis.

- BG

Posted: 4/28/2011 8:00:25 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Just reach in and pull him out.

What could go wrong...?

Nothing––if you do it right.

Posted: 4/28/2011 8:01:05 AM EDT

[#9]

thats a gravid female common snapper looking to anchor her babies in your yard

Posted: 4/28/2011 8:08:10 AM EDT

[#10]

That's Gamera dude.

Posted: 4/28/2011 8:08:14 AM EDT

[#11]

If you spray a bunch of water out there the EPA will declare it a protected wetlands and you'll have to move.

Posted: 4/28/2011 8:13:12 AM EDT

[#12]

grab dat sucker and hoist him over the fence ftw!

Alligator snapping turtle re-caught from Visitor's Center lake.It was attached to a mallard duck.
The duck escaped with a sore rump and the turtle was admired and released.
Jeremy Hilderbrand (left) and John Bryant of D.T. holding turtle of at least 100 pounds in weight.

Posted: 4/28/2011 9:25:30 AM EDT

[#13]

Turtle kid.

Posted: 4/28/2011 9:33:37 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:

I bet he finds his way out.

or dies trying

Posted: 4/28/2011 9:44:41 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

Quoted:

I think you should call him ralph and paint a BFL on his back.

this ^^

Posted: 4/28/2011 9:57:41 AM EDT

[#16]

i like turtles

Posted: 4/28/2011 10:00:16 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
thats a gravid female common snapper looking to anchor her babies in your yard

Yep, picked a good spot too.

when i was a kid used to catch them for fun. i find belogna to be the best bait. get a length of wood, when it chomps down pull it out. put in buckett and try to find a more suitable place where she can lay her eggs.

Posted: 4/28/2011 10:01:39 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I bet he finds his way out.

or dies trying

nah, she'll get out. turtles aren't as dumb and slow as we would like to belive.

Posted: 4/28/2011 10:26:03 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Quoted:

It's there to lay eggs.

It will just back up and hiss at you...unless you get close. Then it will snap really, really fast.

Really? I guess that makes sense... there's a pond across the street from us, and a lake behind us, and we have a creek running through the yard, I guess, for hte suburbs, this is as close to ideal snapping turle country as you'll find. When do snapping turtle eggs hatch?

IIRC, July. They will be about an inch across when they hatch. They are really cute little shits.

Uh...maybe the second batch. I was out with my boy yesterday (in Michigan) finding them by the dozens already. Snappers & paints.

Gestation period is about 60 -80 days.

Posted: 4/28/2011 10:26:16 AM EDT

[#20]

Step 1: .22LR to the top of the head.
Step 2: Take down lattice or otherwise remove turtle from under the porch.
Step 3: Put in box or other container.
Step 4: Throw out along a dirt road.
Step 5: Go back home and enjoy a cold Coke.....

Posted: 4/28/2011 10:35:14 AM EDT

[#21]

ummm...pick it up and set it on the other side... take a stick and pop him on the nose lightly to get his head into his shell before you do that.
you can even put a small strip of duct tap across the opening of his shell when his heads in there to keep him from coming back out and scaring you.
doesnt need to cover the whole thing of be secure..just enough so that he things something is blocking him from coming back out

Posted: 4/28/2011 10:43:04 AM EDT

[#22]

snapping turtle eh? .22lr.

Posted: 4/28/2011 10:49:30 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
ummm...pick it up and set it on the other side... take a stick and pop him on the nose lightly to get his head into his shell before you do that.
you can even put a small strip of duct tap across the opening of his shell when his heads in there to keep him from coming back out and scaring you.
doesnt need to cover the whole thing of be secure..just enough so that he things something is blocking him from coming back out

It's a snapper, man. They don't retreat into their shells.

Posted: 4/28/2011 10:50:02 AM EDT

[#24]

Um, how did he get in there?

Posted: 4/28/2011 10:51:24 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:

Quoted:
ummm...pick it up and set it on the other side... take a stick and pop him on the nose lightly to get his head into his shell before you do that.
you can even put a small strip of duct tap across the opening of his shell when his heads in there to keep him from coming back out and scaring you.
doesnt need to cover the whole thing of be secure..just enough so that he things something is blocking him from coming back out

It's a snapper, man. They don't retreat into their shells.

Yes they do. Not in the same manner as paint turtles, but they do pull their head and legs in, and fold their tail over one side. The shell just doesn't close up like painters and three-toed tortoises.

Posted: 4/28/2011 11:14:20 AM EDT

[#26]

Just grab it. Stay away from mouth or just open the portch and wait for it to leave.

Posted: 4/28/2011 11:16:37 AM EDT

[#27]

Broomstick through the hole you do remove. He'll likely chomp on and you can drag him out.

I <3 Turtles!

Edit. Then carry out away from you by the back legs. I used to carry by the tail, in fact have driven several miles down the road with a large turtle hanging out the window by the tail, but I was told that when they get over about 12 inches long their weight can cause damage dangling from the tail ... so grabbing the rear legs are preferred. Do not get your hand anywhere near its head or sides, they can chomp at least halfway around their shell.

Posted: 4/28/2011 11:25:22 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:

I bed he finds his way out.

Ninja turtle?

Posted: 4/28/2011 11:30:08 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Stick something through and opening for him to grab onto. You can then pull him off.

Any real man would use his penis.

- BG

I, too, was going to suggest dingling your dangle at an angle.

Posted: 4/28/2011 11:32:15 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:

anyone else see the similarity?

Posted: 4/28/2011 11:55:04 AM EDT

[#31]

Posted: 4/28/2011 11:58:26 AM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I bed he finds his way out.

God, I hope so. He'll have to either climb up a foot high vertical concrete slab to get back out under the stairs, or dig his way out. There's trails through the dirt under there showing he's gone all the way around looking for an exit, so I don't think he's going to do either.

My choices will be either wait until he dies, then remove the lattice and drag the body out before it starts to stink, or remove the lattice and either wait for him to get out on his own, or try and drag him out with a rake or something... can these suckers move fast on land? There's only about 3 feet of clearance under there, if he comes at me while I'm under there it'll be trouble.

Call the Humane Society if you're too afraid to handle him, they'll send a nice little old lady to come scoop him/her up and relocate it somewhere safe.

Posted: 4/28/2011 12:02:57 PM EDT

[#33]

Its breeding season for them right now

Posted: 4/28/2011 12:08:18 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:

Quoted:
http://www.dausettrails.com/snapturtle.jpg

http://www.officialpsds.com/images/thumbs/Bully-Dog-psd40120.png

anyone else see the similarity?

I think this is closer.

Old. Ugly. And would bite your cock off if given the chance.

Posted: 4/28/2011 12:45:57 PM EDT

[#35]

good call

Posted: 4/28/2011 12:47:18 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
good call

http://premium1.uploadit.org/docZox//helenturtle.jpg

Posted: 4/28/2011 12:57:24 PM EDT

[#37]

You should get him out, fashion a leash and take him for a walk.

Posted: 4/28/2011 1:04:33 PM EDT

[#38]

Free him from porch

put in shower

close shower curtain

Surprise wife

Posted: 4/28/2011 1:07:54 PM EDT

[#39]

It's OK, he still knows he's a turtle.

Posted: 4/28/2011 1:12:17 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I think you should call him ralph and paint a BFL on his back.

this ^^

paint him black and bolt some Larue stuff to his shell!

ETA: Will a Larue Dillo open a turtle?

Posted: 4/28/2011 1:13:22 PM EDT

[#41]

We have snappers in VA?

Whereabouts? Should I prepare for the reptilian invasion?

Posted: 4/28/2011 1:19:06 PM EDT

[#42]

http://mdc.mo.gov/conmag/1996/06/common-snapping-turtles-catching-cleaning-eating

Posted: 4/28/2011 1:23:05 PM EDT

[#43]

You cant just dig a little place under the lattice for him to crawl under it? Would be a shame to kill him or let him die a slow death by starvation.

I also like turtles. I think you should relocate him by whatever means necessary.

Posted: 4/28/2011 1:23:22 PM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
He looks friendly.

You should pet him.

yes do so. then post picks of your missing fingers

Posted: 4/28/2011 2:50:45 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
You cant just dig a little place under the lattice for him to crawl under it? Would be a shame to kill him or let him die a slow death by starvation.

I also like turtles. I think you should relocate him by whatever means necessary.

LOL––how do you think it got in there?? That turtle needs no help getting out. It will go THROUGH the lattice if necessary.

Posted: 4/28/2011 2:57:33 PM EDT

[#46]

Today I found this little guy in a pool skimmer in burke, VA, saving him from certain death. I am keeping him.

Posted: 4/28/2011 5:44:12 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You cant just dig a little place under the lattice for him to crawl under it? Would be a shame to kill him or let him die a slow death by starvation.

I also like turtles. I think you should relocate him by whatever means necessary.

LOL––how do you think it got in there?? That turtle needs no help getting out. It will go THROUGH the lattice if necessary.

You're right -

Got home from work, and he was gone. We're not sure how, but the lattice isn't damaged and I don't see anywhere where he dug under it, so I have to assume he got back out how he got in:

That's the underside of my stairs, the only place with no lattice. Front and sides are ground level, allowing him to get under there and fall off the concrete slab, but the back end is a foot or more off the ground. I really didn't think it was possible, but he sure got out somehow, unless he buried himself under there and he's lying in wait for me...