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Posted: 10/20/2004 1:10:31 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 1:12:03 PM EST by IRONsite]
My friend who is a girl but who isn't my girlfiend went to a party and was not only wasted, she was also baked ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Some guy I don't know walks while she is lying on a bed barely able to move and starts feeling her up while she is trying to push him off. Anyway, he holds her down and then he put it in but just then there was a knock at the door so he couldn't finish. This guy is 21 and just got back from Iraq apparently but she is 17, a minor! She doesn't want any of her friends to know about it so she won't take him to court but I told her she needs to take this asshole to court. What is the best course of action for her to take in this situation?
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:11:29 PM EST
Rape is a "muzzle to the back of the head" offense in my book.

But, that's just my opinion.



My condolences to your friend. I hope things improve.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:11:43 PM EST
Call his CO

Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:11:50 PM EST
Cops or axe handles.

Either way, something must be done.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:12:11 PM EST
turn his ass in and maybe help preventing another girl from getting raped.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:13:19 PM EST
Rape is wrong but so is getting wasted and putting yourself in that position. Perhaps she might re-think about getting wasted again.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:13:31 PM EST

Originally Posted By Sturmwehr:
Rape is a "muzzle to the back of the head" offense in my book.



+1
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:14:34 PM EST
Have her report it. Most times an offender will likely accept a plea agreement rather than go to trial and possibly get launched to prison by a Judge with a teen aged daughter of his own. She'll have to tell the cops what happened but likely won't have to go to court. Even if she ends up having to go to court, she'll feel better about it afterward, knowing she had the final word on it.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:14:38 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 1:16:16 PM EST by IRONsite]

Originally Posted By DOA:
Rape is wrong but so is getting wasted and putting yourself in that position. Perhaps she might re-think about getting wasted again.


Totally, that's what my friend and i told her, that was a TERRIBLE position to be in. She says she learned her lesson and I hpe it's true.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:14:57 PM EST
Kick his ass and slap her.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:15:28 PM EST
My daughter was raped 3 years ago. This girl will need another woman to help her put this in perspective. Too often rape victims develop a very poor self image.

As for the other guy, drop a dime on him. If that doesn't work, break both of his effing legs, collar bones, nose, and arms. He might at that point begin to accept the consequences of his actions. Any guy who will do this once, will do it many times.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:15:39 PM EST
call the cops and/or the guy's CO
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:15:47 PM EST

Originally Posted By livefreeordieNH:

Originally Posted By Sturmwehr:
Rape is a "muzzle to the back of the head" offense in my book.



+1



while I agree alot of guys have been accused, this info is all 2nd or maybe 3rd hand.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:15:57 PM EST

Originally Posted By HighCaliber:
slap her.



-1, HighCaliber.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:16:19 PM EST
My suggestion would be illegal so I will refrain. However, some course of action needs to be initiated.

Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:16:20 PM EST
No disrespect, or shifting of blame intended. However, 17 and wasted? and baked? WTF? First of all, I don't even know what he means by "baked".
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:16:45 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 1:17:11 PM EST by bvmjethead]
Prosecute.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:17:06 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 1:17:41 PM EST by John_Wayne777]

Originally Posted By IRONsite:
My friend who is a girl but who isn't my girlfiend went to a party and was not only wasted, she was also baked ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Some guy I don't know walks while she is lying on a bed barely able to move and starts feeling her up while she is trying to push him off. Anyway, he holds her down and then he put it in but just then there was a knock at the door so he couldn't finish. This guy is 21 and just got back from Iraq apparently but she is 17, a minor! She doesn't want any of her friends to know about it so she won't take him to court but I told her she needs to take this asshole to court. What is the best course of action for her to take in this situation?



Was he drunk too?

That has bearing on his responsibility.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:17:16 PM EST
Sorry, baked meaning she took drugs.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:17:28 PM EST
Oh, and +1 on the axe handle.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:17:56 PM EST
+1 on going to the CO. If he is still active duty, the UCMJ hammer will fall...HARD.
She needs to file charges, be it mil or civilian authorities.

The medic in my platoon at Ft. Bragg pulled the same shit. He got 20 yrs in Leavenworth.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:19:44 PM EST

Originally Posted By Sturmwehr:

Originally Posted By HighCaliber:
slap her.



-1, HighCaliber.



Slap some sense into her for being 17, drunk, high, and at a party with nobody to take care of her; not for getting raped.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:20:23 PM EST
He needs to have his dick cut off.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:20:46 PM EST

Originally Posted By TeuffelHunden1775:
No disrespect, or shifting of blame intended. However, 17 and wasted? and baked? WTF? First of all, I don't even know what he means by "baked".



I'm gonna go out on a limb and say "baked" probably means under the influence of marijuana., not just high but "baked" as in, "very high" I know that's not an articulate definition but I'm sure someone will correct me if I have made a misrepresentation.

Obviously this ought to be reported to the police if it is indeed the case. Even if she declines to do that, she ought to get to a clinic and make sure he didn't transmit anything when he "put it in." That would be a primary concern, I would think.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:21:57 PM EST
This is why I think rape and child molestation both should be capital crimes and punishable by the death penalty. My wife was
raped years before I meet her and was still dealing with it when we got married. I'd give him a choice cops or a rusty can lid.

She must go to the police ASAP. This animal needs to be dealt with.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:21:58 PM EST
DOD employee chiming in, call his CO right f'ing now.

Kharn
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:22:05 PM EST

Originally Posted By HighCaliber:
Kick his ass and slap her.



+1. Done.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:22:23 PM EST

Originally Posted By DOA:
Rape is wrong but so is getting wasted and putting yourself in that position. Perhaps she might re-think about getting wasted again.



+1

She in no way deserved to get raped, but when someone combines crap like that it'll get them wasted to the point that it's easy for someone to take advantage of them.

Good luck to her.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:22:38 PM EST
Is there any other witness to this? Look at the Kobe situation and how difficult anything has been to prove, if the girl was wasted and high and then tried to claim rape do you think they would have charged him with a crime? Who do you believe a military man just back from Iraq or an underage drunk that was high at the time? I know this first hand as I was a victim of assault when I was 19. But since I had been drinking earlier that evening the cops bascially blamed the assault on me.

Without another witness it will be extreamly difficult to prove anything. She should still file charges though. Just have her be prepared to be made to feel like a criminal for her illegal alcohol and drug use.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:23:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By Sturmwehr:
Rape is a "muzzle to the back of the head" offense in my book.



Way too easy for the rat bastard!
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:24:40 PM EST

Originally Posted By Palo_Duro:
My suggestion would be illegal so I will refrain. However, some course of action needs to be initiated.




+1

I'm sure this guy could be taught a lesson that wouldn't involve dragging her (the victim) through the court system, further exposing her to embarassment. Most court cases turn out in favor of the defendant because rape is very difficult to prove... it's one person's word against the other. And if she's got no evidence, she's out of luck. Actually, if she's only 17, sex alone could constitute statuatory rape, depending on the state.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:25:44 PM EST

Was he drunk too?

That has bearing on his responsibility.



What do you mean? He was just as responsible either way.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:27:57 PM EST

Originally Posted By legalese77:

Originally Posted By TeuffelHunden1775:
No disrespect, or shifting of blame intended. However, 17 and wasted? and baked? WTF? First of all, I don't even know what he means by "baked".



I'm gonna go out on a limb and say "baked" probably means under the influence of marijuana., not just high but "baked" as in, "very high" I know that's not an articulate definition but I'm sure someone will correct me if I have made a misrepresentation.

Obviously this ought to be reported to the police if it is indeed the case. Even if she declines to do that, she ought to get to a clinic and make sure he didn't transmit anything when he "put it in." That would be a primary concern, I would think.



Actually, yeah, that's what I meant. That was the term she used and she used it meaning she was REALLY high. Sorry for the confusion.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:29:23 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:30:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By 444slayer:

Was he drunk too?

That has bearing on his responsibility.



What do you mean? He was just as responsible either way.


Plus the fact that he was "aware" enough to pull out when there was a knock at the door doesnt say he was too intoxicated to not know what he was doing.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:30:12 PM EST

Originally Posted By SWIRE:
Is there any other witness to this? Look at the Kobe situation and how difficult anything has been to prove, if the girl was wasted and high and then tried to claim rape do you think they would have charged him with a crime? Who do you believe a military man just back from Iraq or an underage drunk that was high at the time? I know this first hand as I was a victim of assault when I was 19. But since I had been drinking earlier that evening the cops bascially blamed the assault on me.

Without another witness it will be extreamly difficult to prove anything. She should still file charges though. Just have her be prepared to be made to feel like a criminal for her illegal alcohol and drug use.



She mentioned a condom he threw away when the knock on the door came. and if it's still in the trash there is BIG TIME evidence.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:31:03 PM EST
You're probably going to get alot of bad advice from people who have never knowingly dealt with a rape victim.

First off, "make her file charges" is not so easy as it sounds. Since time has passed since the incident occurred, the physical evidence will be pretty much destroyed now it's his word against her and she was drunk at the time.

Not to mention that if you have to pressure her to press charges she does not have the mental stamina to see it through to the end, that I guarantee. If she doesn't want to press charges, don't try to change her mind. It's not like you file a report and the cops do the rest of the work. She will have to face him time and again and answer personal questions as well so on and so forth.

Thirdly, if you really really want to do something, vigilante justice is probably the only way to get anything done. But that raises the question, how well do you know this girl? Are you ABSOLUTELY certain she wouldn't make it up? Suppose you form a posse and bust out his knee caps and all along she was witholding some part of the story from you. Think how that will weigh on your conscience.

I have known some gals who were raped and I have seen what it can do to them emotionally. I have also known som guys who were rapists, so I have seen it from both sides. I have seen what happens to a woman when she is pressured to press charges and her heart isn't into it.

The best writeup I have seen on the whole subject is here. I strongly suggest you read it (lots of info) and have your friend read it.

Rape Info Page

High-Risk Behavior that Makes you More LIkely to Be Raped

I strongly recommend that site, as it has lots of excellent info on all manner of violent crime and how to avoid it. The section on rape is top-notch, not PC, just straight up practical wisdom.

Good luck to you and your friend.

-Nick Viejo.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:35:52 PM EST

Originally Posted By HighCaliber:
Kick his ass and slap her.


+1
as stupid as she was or is, it still doesn't give anyone the right to rape.


meat
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:36:07 PM EST

Originally Posted By Zaphod:

Originally Posted By Sturmwehr:
Rape is a "muzzle to the back of the head" offense in my book.



Way too easy for the rat bastard!



The other head? *shrug*
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:37:14 PM EST
If her story is true, I say hang the dirty bastard!

As things are, unless a witness comes forward, or some evidence was collected, how can you or a jury or anyone else know what the truth is?

I know you trust and believe your friend as any good friend would, but this would turn quickly into a he said, she said case if legal action is taken.

Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:38:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By TeuffelHunden1775:
WTF? First of all, I don't even know what he means by "baked".





Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:40:20 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 1:41:15 PM EST by TeuffelHunden1775]
This is a bad deal all the way around. I dealt with a similar situation with a step-daughter a few years ago. There are a lot of different ways this could have gone down. Everyone needs to keep that in mind.

Drunk, wasted 17 yo, drunk, wasted 21 yo, etc, etc.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:41:48 PM EST
She needs some sense knocked into her for getting in that situation to begin with.

The rapist needs to die.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:43:23 PM EST
There is no excuse for rape. But, there is always some scumbag who is gonna do it. The girl must be instructed on how to take care of herself. She didn't ask to be raped, but she did put herself in a bad position. Guy needs an ass kicking, but the girl needs to pay a little more attention. If it were my doughter this prick would be looking down the barrel of something nasty. My wife and myself would also be having a little chat with my doughter about this too.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:44:26 PM EST
Was she too messed up to scream for help?
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:44:36 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:45:47 PM EST
Before I even knew her, this happened to my future wife. She was in her early 20s at the time and was NOT wasted when it happened. The "friend" was a rather large cop, she is rather petite. The scum forced her clothes off and put it in but did not finish the job. He pulled his pants up, laughed, and left.

She tells me this after we were married and I am the only one that knows. She never reported it because she was always afraid of how her dad would have felt if he knew! I will never understand women.

About a year after we are married, we find out (how is too long a story) that that this "friend" also did this to at least 6 other women that we know of. Not one of them ever reported it! He is still a cop in Denton, Texas.

Should the rape be reported? Hell yes! It is her duty to prevent the next victim from becoming one.


Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:46:35 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 1:53:31 PM EST by IRONsite]

Originally Posted By KN:
Was she too messed up to scream for help?



From what she said, I think so. She said she tried to push him off but she said she was probably barely hitting him. I seem to recall her saying she tried to say something or call for help but couldn't.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:56:25 PM EST

Originally Posted By Crock:

About a year after we are married, we find out (how is too long a story) that that this "friend" also did this to at least 6 other women that we know of. Not one of them ever reported it! He is still a cop in Denton, Texas.



Crock, I'd do anything to make that "Cop" a welfare seeker.

Seriously, get that worthless piece of shit fired.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:57:35 PM EST
17- bring in the parents perhaps?? seems logical to me, if they're worth a damn as parents they'll want to help her through this even though she put herself in a very bad situation. what she did was in no way deserving of what she got and he really should answer for it. i really think her parents should be in at this point.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:58:03 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 2:06:37 PM EST by warlord]
If she wants to report the rape to the local PD, find out if they have a officers that are specially trained to handle this. It would be best to report the rape, whether the guy will get prosecuted or not doens't matter.

Here in Kali-fornia, the govt is prosecuting a guy who is the son of the high-ranking deputy sherrif in Orange County for raping a woman who had passed out. This is a serious offense.
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