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Posted: 12/22/2003 1:28:09 PM EDT
Or are you socially ept?
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 1:43:12 PM EDT
I'm a good listener.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 1:44:36 PM EDT
I'm the eptest mo'fo' you're likely to run into anywhere. Actually, the opposite of "inept" is "apt," if I'm not mistaken.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 1:47:19 PM EDT
Originally Posted By The_Macallan: I'm a good listener.
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That's half of it, right there!
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 1:52:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2003 2:08:59 PM EDT by raven]
I'm pretty good in everything except for one-on-one interaction. Unless I'm friends or they're an interesting smart person, I kind of clam up and have nothing to say. And I am an expert in saying the worst possible things when I'm in romantic situations with girls. But other than that, I'm pretty socially adept.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 1:55:30 PM EDT
I don't like people.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 1:57:33 PM EDT
It depends if it people I have anything in common with.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:10:14 PM EDT
Those who can talk to just about anybody - I really wish I had that ability. A very marketable skill.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:15:41 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Duffy: I don't like people.
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I second that.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:23:41 PM EDT
The key to talking to "just about anyone" is finding something they're interested in quickly. To do this you have to be pretty good at reading people. I'm an expert at reading people's faces. I can always tell when they're genuinely interested or they're just humoring me. I'm especially good at being able to tell when someone is bored with what's going on or what's being said. Another key is to not talk about any one thing for too long. Knowing when to change the subject is very important if you want to keep someone interested in what you're saying. Also, something interesting in your lifestyle really helps. Take up an interesting hobby. I really don't think talking about your Star Wars figurine collection and how you totally own when you play role playing games will interest the general populace. Hobbies such as painting, photography, SCUBA diving, mountain climbing, sky diving, etc. intrigue most people whether they have tried them or not. Another key is confidence. If you speak with purpose and confidence, people will respect what you have to say. People who stutter nervously and always talk like they're scared out of their wits are not very successful in carrying on a conversation. And... like The_Macallan said... listen! You can learn a lot about people by just listening instead of nodding and waiting to talk. If you always seem like you're trying to talk instead of truly listening, you will annoy the hell out of people.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:31:33 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2003 2:36:51 PM EDT by 556Cliff]
I have no confidence, how do I get it?
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:33:48 PM EDT
I can talk with just about anybody. I'm a pretty social person. I like people. That said, here are my biggest faults: I have a darned hard time initiating conversation with people I don't know. As I said above, I can talk to just about everbody ... if I know them, or if they initiate conversation. If I have to, it's really really hard. It feels like I'm invading their privacy and such. I can be condescending and arrogant sometimes. I don't try to be, but when I was younger I was great at just about everything I did except people skills, and it rubbed off on my people skills. I'm getting better, though.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:39:10 PM EDT
[SNL]I'm a wild n' crazy guy![/SNL]
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:46:55 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 556Cliff: I have no confidence, how do I get it?
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That's something no one can really tell you how to do, you have to do it on your own. Realizing you have no reason to be nervous around people is a good start. We're all human beings. We all dislike something about ourself. Most of us get uncomfortable around people we don't know... harness that and use it to seem confident, don't show your discomfort. Women especially love that attitude.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:47:32 PM EDT
I am neither the life of the party nor the nerd hiding in the corner. I don't find it easy to strike up small talk with strangers, but when it comes to talking to someone that has any kind of common interests with me, we can converse our heads off until someone sprains his vocal cords. I'm not big on playing the usual social games, though. CJ
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:54:51 PM EDT
Socially retarded Philistine here. [wave]
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:55:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2003 3:03:12 PM EDT by Hpl]
Originally Posted By 556Cliff: I have no confidence, how do I get it?
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Well, you could always get that Troy McClure Self help video called "Get Confident, Stupid!" :D I hear it's bundled with "Smoke yourself thin".
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 2:57:39 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Hpl:
Originally Posted By 556Cliff: I have no confidence, how do I get it?
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Well, you could always get that Troy McClure Self help video called "Get Confident, Stupid!" I hear it's bundled with "Smoke yourself thin".
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[lol]
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 3:00:11 PM EDT
I’m very sociable guy and can talk to any man or woman at any level. I used to be in sales so I learned to “read” people just from their appearance and posture in seconds and then “tune” into them within minutes of starting conversation. You can usually tell a lot about a person just from their shoe and vocabulary. I feel comfortable talking to strangers at the local gun shop about the latest AR setup or price of milk at the supermarket.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 4:30:30 PM EDT
Heh. Look at my track record here. No one knows who I am. [:D] I really don't fit in anywhere. I guess I'm a social misfit. AB
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 4:36:28 PM EDT
I do great at talking about common interests, or talking to people I don't know, as far as the confidence aspect. I don't usually have anything to talk with other people about, though, because I don't like most people. It doesn't help that the more I know most people, the more I dislike them. I can usually tell when someone is interested or just humoring me, but beyond that I'm not very good at 'reading' people.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 4:43:09 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2003 4:50:06 PM EDT by Duffy]
The problem with most people is they're stupid, ignorant and rather unexciting, they have very little to offer, I have no time or patience for them and get bored with them in a few minutes. I think most smart people find it difficult to relate to the masses. On the other hand, smart and/or educated folks are a lot of fun to be with. You have to be smart to be funny.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 4:43:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By yobo: I’m very sociable guy and can talk to any man or woman at any level. I used to be in sales so I learned to “read” people just from their appearance and posture in seconds and then “tune” into them within minutes of starting conversation. You can usually tell a lot about a person just from their shoe and vocabulary. I feel comfortable talking to strangers at the local gun shop about the latest AR setup or price of milk at the supermarket.
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I avoid people like you. In fact I avoid talking to people in public. I walk around with a scowl on my face to scare people. It works.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 4:46:27 PM EDT
I like pancakes.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 4:47:14 PM EDT
they made me a moderator in GD. what the hell do you think? mike
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 6:31:03 PM EDT
Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer: they made me a moderator in GD. what the hell do you think? mike
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[smartass mode] Uh, they were really hard up for help at the time?[/smartass mode] [rofl] Not that I have much to say about that, anyway. I'm a mod in the AK reloading forum [img]http://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/nighty.gif[/img] and also in the Florida hometown forum. [img]http://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/sleep2.gif[/img] [img]http://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/madgrin.gif[/img] It's not like they need the best talent for THAT...[img]http://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/ogo.gif[/img] CJ
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 6:41:51 PM EDT
i is a college gradjiate so i kan conversate with the breast of them
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 6:45:07 PM EDT
Socially Inept? Never. [img]http://photos.ar15.com/ImageGallery/Attachments/DownloadAttach.asp?iImageUnq=20828[/img]
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 6:55:18 PM EDT
Is that Abraham Lincoln all strung out or something?
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 7:14:46 PM EDT
I'm a hermit who just happens to be married and have children. I've also been forced by my master at work to travel and meet with people all over Asia. But when it's all said & done, I have to agree with Duffy - I don't like people. NMSight
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 7:20:40 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 7:31:10 PM EDT
I dont know if anyone noticed....but Im kind of an introvert [:I]
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 7:35:37 PM EDT
Apparently.......... 39 still single, no G/F. Either that or really ugly.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 7:39:56 PM EDT
Social incompetence is rampant among adult American males. And it generally gets worse with age.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 8:17:23 PM EDT
Originally Posted By clean_cut:
Originally Posted By The_Macallan: I'm a good listener.
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That's half of it, right there!
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The other half is being skilled at delivering the "non-comittal remark" to appear as if you really are listening. Timing is everything.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 8:19:31 PM EDT
I dont like most people. The more I get to know them, the closer they push me towards hating them. The vast majority of the general population is too stupid to live. Once I get to know someone and have determined that I dont hate them, I can talk to them about anything. There's not much that is an off-limits subject with people that I'm comfortable around. When I go somewhere and there is one of those salesman creeps running his mouth, I get even more quiet, and whenever possible respond with grunts or single syllable words. I dont even talk much to strangers at the range, since 90% of the time they're the goddamn duck huntin, NRA joinin, shotgun-totin, "Whut yu need a Ay-Kay ferty-sebbin fer, anyhow" crowd. Occassionally there is an exception to this rule, but around here the exceptions are few. Aside from the antisocial thing, I wouldnt say I'm socially inept. I know how to be polite, and interact with others at social events, and all that crap. I just dont give a shit.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 8:45:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 556Cliff: I have no confidence, how do I get it?
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Alcohol?[:)] Once they know me, I generally get along well with most folks. But since I've been told I'm a tad strange, most folks don't want to get to know me. Maybe a shower would help.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 8:48:11 PM EDT
Originally Posted By QCMGR: I like pancakes.
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WTF!?!?!?!?!
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 8:51:34 PM EDT
I have been called socially retarded many times.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 9:06:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2003 9:28:35 PM EDT by Cypher214]
I didn't say you had to like the people you're talking to but if you work in any sort of sales or business position or you just want to seem socially competent, you have to talk to people constantly. I don't like many people... in fact, most people get on my fuckin nerves but you have to put on that smile and do the little dance to make them think you are their best friend. In reality, I manipulate most people I come in contact with. I am the nice guy that helps out when people need it, the sweet guy, the compassionate guy, the guy to turn to with questions, when in reality I seriously dislike most people. I also have a way of using sarcasm to keep people in check. The best way to be considered intelligent, trustworty, and honest is to only open your mouth when you know you're right. It's like the wise old saying goes "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." There's plenty of times when I'm listening to someone talk and in my mind I'm thinking "god what a fuckin idiot... ok, shut the hell up before you really embarass yourself... oh yeah, that was real smart... right, I'm sure you did..." but I just smile and nod and say things like "oh really?... damn...HA! that's cool...etc." The key to being considered socially competent is to put on a facade for the rest of the world. The folks who are considered hermits are either: A: Introverts who don't like to talk to people, genuinely. B: Guys who don't give a damn what people think and don't care if people like them. These guys will only talk to people who obviously share their interests or women who they're pretty sure like them. C: Guys with very little confidence who are uncomfortable around people. or D: Guys who are uninteresting and truly don't know what to say and have nothing to add to any conversation.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 9:07:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Tras: Is that Abraham Lincoln all strung out or something?
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He looks like Steve Buscemi.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 9:12:44 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Hpl:
Originally Posted By Tras: Is that Abraham Lincoln all strung out or something?
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He looks like Steve Buscemi.
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[:D] You know, you're right!
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 9:13:31 PM EDT
Nah. Had the same group of friends for years. We do all the regular stuff-get plastered, holler at chicas, go to concerts and events, watch basketball,drive everywhere all over the damn city, Work and go to college. I'm the only Gun-nut amongst all of them. We Have everything in common BUT GUNS. Strange-All the folks I can talk/shoot all day long about with guns I really have nothing in common with ......but guns. Yet I remain obsessed with the damn things. So a good balance I suppose is to live life and frequent ARFCOM.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 9:34:27 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 9:43:02 PM EDT
I'm not socially inept. I just don't give a shit for superficial social interactions. I prefer to spend what little free time I have for socializing with family and close friends. If you are not already my friend or if I don't immediately see potential for genuine friendship, I don't waste time on a person. When I meet people for the first time, I am polite, respectful and courteous. I am also distant and formal. I like it that way.
Link Posted: 12/22/2003 10:31:35 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Cypher214:
Originally Posted By 556Cliff: I have no confidence, how do I get it?
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Realizing you have no reason to be nervous around people is a good start. We're all human beings. We all dislike something about ourself. Most of us get uncomfortable around people we don't know... harness that and use it to seem confident, don't show your discomfort. Women especially love that attitude.
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Very true. Besides, the absolute worst off you'll be is slightly rejected by someone else who, ultimately, really doesn't matter any more or less than you do.
Link Posted: 12/23/2003 1:41:27 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/23/2003 1:43:41 AM EDT by Ragnaroc]
I don't play well with others. Outside of 4 lifelong(hopefully) friends.
Link Posted: 12/23/2003 3:11:15 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Cypher214: B: Guys who don't give a damn what people think and don't care if people like them. These guys will only talk to people who obviously share their interests or women who they're pretty sure like them.
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I am distant, emotionless and quiet. I really only to talk to close friends.
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