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Posted: 10/9/2004 3:12:55 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/9/2004 3:13:43 PM EST by Shadow_Warrior]
I want my wife to take a lie detector test.
She has been telling me things that by no means add up, but she is smooth enought to cover her tracks very wisely. I dont want to find myself acusing her of things that she hasn't done. But if any jury where to hear her story they would call BS. I have never had any issues w/ trust. I am by no means a jealous guy, in fact I'm way to easy going with her.
Have any of you ever taken a lie detector test?
What are the chances the test could fail and give the wrong answer.
Is this the best way to go about finding out the truth.
Help me out here fellas
shadow
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:14:01 PM EST
I wouldnt do such a thing myself but YMMV
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:15:18 PM EST
If you don't trust your wife enough to think that she's telling you the truth, you got bigger fucking problems than worrying about the validity of a lie detector test.

Marriage counseling NOW and start covering your ass with respect to (from what it sounds like) the impending divorce.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:15:59 PM EST
hmm

I'd say that if your at the point where you want your wife to take a lie detector test, the marriage is already over.

good luck to you man

Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:17:07 PM EST
I have a little experience with polygraph exams. If you get a good polygraph examiner AND your wife doesn't know how the polygraph works, its over 99% correct. On the other hand, the less experience/intelligence your examiner has and the more your wife knows about how it works, the lower its accuracy is. Thats why the first question an experienced polygraph examiner asks is "what do you know about the polygraph exam".
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:17:13 PM EST
Asking her to take the test is just as bad as acusing her of something. I think that's about how it would go over, I think. It will cause problems.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:17:22 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:18:35 PM EST

Originally Posted By lokt:
If you don't trust your wife enough to think that she's telling you the truth, you got bigger fucking problems than worrying about the validity of a lie detector test.

Marriage counseling NOW and start covering your ass with respect to (from what it sounds like) the impending divorce.



I agree. If you have trust issues, you have problems.

A marriage doesn't work without trust.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:19:04 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:19:11 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/9/2004 3:19:47 PM EST by Airwolf]
Lie detectors for the most part are bullshit (IMHO)

I'd say that you need to confront whatever is going on NOW! Don't play games with shit like this. If you're wrong about your assumptions then apologize. If you're right then you need to cut to the chase and deal with the problem NOW!

Letting something like this eat away at the foundations of a relationship will do nothing except destroy that relationship in the long run.

Better to figure out what's going on now rather than let it fester.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:19:31 PM EST
What would you think if your wife asked you to take one?
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:21:59 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:22:36 PM EST
Thats just it we have ALWAYS had trust
Thats why now everything seems fishy.
I want to know whats going on before she gets the upper hand if you know what I mean.
Before today I would have laughed at anyone wanting to put their wife on a lie dectector test.
But this is serious enough to have to know the truth
I have ALOT to lose if the truth comes out down the road
Shadow
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:26:04 PM EST
If your serious about a polygraph, you need to save the money and put it towards a divorce lawyer.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:26:41 PM EST
P.I.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:27:29 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/9/2004 3:28:39 PM EST by Shadow_Warrior]
"If your serious about a polygraph, you need to save the money and put it towards a divorce lawyer."



divorce her w/o the facts huh?
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:30:30 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:31:05 PM EST
NO LIE DETECTOR TEST. They are not accurate. I've lied on a lie detector test and not been caught. They don't work well on people who can remain cool under stress. Plus, if she's not lying, it'll ruin your marriage.

If you REALLY think she's doing something wrong, you'll just have to catch her. There are numerous ways of catching people doing wrong things.

For example, you can buy a simple discrete device to record key-strokes on a computer. They even have software that will do this. These things are very inexpensive, like under $100. This can help you figure out if she's communicating with someone on email or the internet somehow.

You can also discretely record telephone conversations that occur while you are not home with some inexpensive devices readily available on the internet.

The next best thing is to hire a P.I. If after that, you still cant find any wrongdoing, then she's probably not doing anything wrong, and it's all just in your head.



DO NOT DO A LIE DETECTOR TEST! If the lie detector says she's not lying (and she still could be), you'll look like an ass, and you'll cause her to be more cautious, making it harder to catch her red handed.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:32:45 PM EST
What, specifically, has she told you that sounds fishy? Give us more facts so we can make some kind of assumptions on whether she is screwing you or if you are just over-reacting!
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:36:45 PM EST

Originally Posted By niceguymr:
NO LIE DETECTOR TEST. They are not accurate. I've lied on a lie detector test and not been caught. They don't work well on people who can remain cool under stress. Plus, if she's not lying, it'll ruin your marriage.

If you REALLY think she's doing something wrong, you'll just have to catch her. There are numerous ways of catching people doing wrong things.

For example, you can buy a simple discrete device to record key-strokes on a computer. They even have software that will do this. These things are very inexpensive, like under $100. This can help you figure out if she's communicating with someone on email or the internet somehow.

You can also discretely record telephone conversations that occur while you are not home with some inexpensive devices readily available on the internet.
The next best thing is to hire a P.I. If after that, you still cant find any wrongdoing, then she's probably not doing anything wrong, and it's all just in your head.



DO NOT DO A LIE DETECTOR TEST! If the lie detector says she's not lying (and she still could be), you'll look like an ass, and you'll cause her to be more cautious, making it harder to catch her red handed.





Do not do this--it's against the law to record any conversation, unless one of the parties is aware of the recording. (ie: if you're not part of the conversation, you are breaking the law with your recording. She could use your recording to hang you)
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:38:45 PM EST
Good advise NICEGUYMR

What if she just did it once w/ the intention to never do it again or the ability?
I belive the calls were from work, if any.

She has been around me long enough to know how to perfectly cover all trails, to even lay booby traps to see if anyone is on your trail.
The issue is that now that I might be on her she would stop anything she is doing, or lay low for along time so a PI would be ruled out
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:43:49 PM EST
Maybe a dumb suggestion but why don't you just ask her. Tell her you have some issues and would like the truth. Ask her to look you in the eyes during the conversation. You will be able to tell from that alone. If she has the ability to look you in the eyes and lie without you knowing she is some sort of sociopath and you dont need her. You might end up looking like an ass though if your wrong.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:46:58 PM EST
I have asked her, she has amitted to some wrong-doing
But its the details that really matter now at this point.
I think she is tring to hide some of the details to make it less of an impact.
She knows some of the details could ruin everything
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:47:42 PM EST
Women lie? say it ain't so......
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:49:43 PM EST

I have asked her, she has amitted to some wrong-doing
But its the details that really matter now at this point.
I think she is tring to hide some of the details to make it less of an impact.
She knows some of the details could ruin everything



I hope for you that this does not involve a friend or family member.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:51:46 PM EST
no friend or family member
just someone w/ a few missing teeth
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:53:12 PM EST
Ask her WTF is up. Keep in mind the following:

1. If she loves you, she will not be upset.
2. IF she is guilty, she will either admit it (least likely), or act offended and accuse you of being a possesive, jealous creep, therefore turning the situation around to be YOUR fault (likely), or just deny it and try to obfuscate by diverting your attention to something/somebody/someplace else (most likely). For example, my ex was dating the guy she would up leaving me for well before she left. She started spending a lot of time with her youngest sister and her fiance', and she told me that's where she was going. However, it was well established that she didn't like this fiance' very much. So when she started going there a LOT, I got suspicious and questioned her about it. She got defensive with me. A few weeks later when she was still leaving a lot, I questioned her again. She started dropping bombs like "I am going to so and so's (friend) place to go drinking". She didn't drink much, and she never hung out with this friend that she worked with. The friend also lived 30 miles east of us. In reality, she was still going to her sisters place (20 miles south), because she was dating her sisters fiance's cousin.

Tread carefully. I hate to say it, but on one hand you should talk openly with her and try to find out exactly what is happening. On the other hand, you should probably hire a PI to find out the truth, as it doesn't sound like you have any trust happening. This makes everything suspect.

It's too bad a woman can fuck up a man's life so much, a lot of this CYA crap wouldn't be necessary.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:56:10 PM EST

Originally Posted By Shadow_Warrior:
no friend or family member
just someone w/ a few missing teeth



Is this person the same race as you? I'm only wondering because it does make a difference.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 3:58:00 PM EST
Magnus357
yes same race
so what is the reason for the question?
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:02:07 PM EST
the best thing to do would be to volunteer to take the test as well. then she doesnt feel so alone and accused.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:02:16 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/9/2004 4:35:45 PM EST by Magnus357]
Some white girls (maybe other ethnicities? I don't have too much experience in other areas) have a fantasy about sex with a black man. That is why I was wondering.

If it was something like that, then maybe just maybe it would be a one time thing.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:02:35 PM EST
im all for it
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:03:02 PM EST
I agree that with trust issues as you have, the marriage is over. Save yourself a lot of heartache and move on.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:03:17 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/9/2004 4:05:12 PM EST by Shadow_Warrior]
thats funny magnus real funny
you sure thats not your fantasy?
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:09:59 PM EST
I didn't say your girl had that fantasy. I just asked a relevant question. I wish you best of luck though all of this, but my advise is to cut your losses and run as long as there are no kids in the equation.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:11:52 PM EST
no kids
just 7 years of my life
and everything I have ever worked for
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:15:46 PM EST
Purdy girls are a dime a dozen. If she is playing the head games it may be a form of payback to Her . If she is covering, forgive her and move on and live with it or start over with a new relationship and try not to make the same mistakes again . If I was you I would move on unless your head over heels over her .
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:20:09 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:27:22 PM EST

Originally Posted By Magnus357:
Some white girls (maybe other races? I don't have too much experience in other areas) have a fantasy about sex with a black man. That is why I was wondering.

If it was something like that, then maybe just maybe it would be a one time thing.



WTF?

Link Posted: 10/9/2004 4:39:32 PM EST
Trust your instincts. If you think there is more than meets the eye- there probably is. Lie detector is a bad idea. Have a heart to heart with her. She is probably trying to spare your feelings. It is also possible that you would be better off without the truth. Use the next couple months to verify, to hide your assets, and to lay the groundwork for leaving her, or forgiving her. Good luck

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 5:32:57 PM EST
Someone on here had it right a while ago. The line went something like this: "Every women is a liar, except your mother and she lies to your father."
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 5:34:49 PM EST

Originally Posted By lokt:
If you don't trust your wife enough to think that she's telling you the truth, you got bigger fucking problems than worrying about the validity of a lie detector test.

Marriage counseling NOW and start covering your ass with respect to (from what it sounds like) the impending divorce.



+1 sory to say it but....
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 5:40:48 PM EST

Originally Posted By lokt:
If you don't trust your wife enough to think that she's telling you the truth, you got bigger fucking problems than worrying about the validity of a lie detector test.



Shack...
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 5:45:38 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 5:50:31 PM EST
LOL- BAIL OUT!
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 6:20:10 PM EST
Is it feasible to find someone with voice stress analysis equipment. Supposedly extremely difficult to fool, albiet expensive, and possibly only available to .gov types...

No, seriously, if you are thinking of having her take such a test, the marriage is pretty much shot. Get your ducks in a row for the inevitable divorce. Hide your guns, and stash some cash; you'll need it.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 6:22:34 PM EST

Originally Posted By Shadow_Warrior:
I want my wife to take a lie detector test.
She has been telling me things that by no means add up, but she is smooth enought to cover her tracks very wisely. I dont want to find myself acusing her of things that she hasn't done. But if any jury where to hear her story they would call BS. I have never had any issues w/ trust. I am by no means a jealous guy, in fact I'm way to easy going with her.
Have any of you ever taken a lie detector test?
What are the chances the test could fail and give the wrong answer.
Is this the best way to go about finding out the truth.
Help me out here fellas
shadow


bad idea
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 6:26:07 PM EST

Originally Posted By TheKill:
Ask her WTF is up. Keep in mind the following:

1. If she loves you, she will not be upset.


what planet is this?
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 9:06:15 PM EST
You know, Im gonna go out on a limb here and just tell us SPECIFICALLY is the deal. Stop with the beating around the bush. Was she cheating?, did she do something criminal? Just come out and say it. You never know, someone on this board may have already either done it or knows someone who has.

Specifics son, SPECIFICS.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 11:13:28 PM EST
If you're at the point of seriously considering a lie detector or a PI then trust is already gone. If that's the case, what's left?

If it looks like a duck...
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 11:15:50 PM EST
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