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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:17:14 AM EDT
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her.

So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist

Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking .

So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army.

Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy)

So how did I do for a thur night?
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:18:47 AM EDT
Gag reflex, not so deep next time.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:20:14 AM EDT
Gag reflex, not so deep next time


ROTFLMAO!
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:20:18 AM EDT
Originally Posted By sjerdude:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time.


Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:20:29 AM EDT
You were probably the 4th guy that night to come back to her place.  

I'd give you a 2/10 since you did not score.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:21:19 AM EDT
You failed to hit it, so you receive a "nice try, but you fail" award.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:21:29 AM EDT
Originally Posted By chase45:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her.

So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist

Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking .

So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army.

Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy)

So how did I do for a thur night?


Sounds like you did as well as the guy on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Well, you didn't actually fuck her, and they probably did, but anyway...enjoy it! everyone else has
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:23:11 AM EDT
mandatory pics missing, fail.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:24:34 AM EDT
Which Erotic Services Craigslist posting did you reply to?
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:26:25 AM EDT
Originally Posted By RolandBozz:
Which Erotic Services Craigslist posting did you reply to?


Erotic shemale foot massager

hahahhahah Jk
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:26:56 AM EDT
well, at least she isn't a Navy girl...you know what they say about Navy girls.  
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:28:38 AM EDT
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.

I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world...

Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:29:50 AM EDT
Originally Posted By distributor_of_pain:
Originally Posted By chase45:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her.

So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist

Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking .

So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army.

Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy)

So how did I do for a thur night?


Sounds like you did as well as the guy on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Well, you didn't actually fuck her, and they probably did, but anyway...enjoy it! everyone else has


AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA> That is sum truth there. If she will sleep with you that quick, who else is she sleeping with. Oh wait, she said you were special and lemme guess she said "Ive never just brought a guy I just met home b4"

LOL..

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:38:15 AM EDT
Ah that's nice.  You made a friend.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:39:53 AM EDT
hahahaha she is army and you are joining the navy... and you want to marry her? FYI this WILL end in epic failure
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:40:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Gabriel11808:
You were probably the 4th guy that night to come back to her place.  

I'd give you a 2/10 since you did not score.


+1

women+military=whore (or i have often noticed)
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:42:08 AM EDT
Pics orBS.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:43:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By sjerdude:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time.


haha, someone had to say it.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:44:02 AM EDT
should have hit it while she was puking.  makes the walls tighter.

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:44:20 AM EDT
Originally Posted By BadShovelhead:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.

I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world...

Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.


Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:44:26 AM EDT
Trust me on this.   That kentucky jelly tastes like shit.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:45:02 AM EDT
No pics/No score   Massive FAIL!
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:45:25 AM EDT
Originally Posted By BadShovelhead:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.

I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world...

Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.


that was epic
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:46:11 AM EDT
Jesus, you tried to hit an Army chick.

did she have one of those NSN reorder numbers on her lower back?
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:46:41 AM EDT
Take a bath next time before you go out.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:47:51 AM EDT
So how did I taste?

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:48:55 AM EDT
you came on arfcom bragging about a chic, and NO PICS?


we all know now that this is
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:52:10 AM EDT
Originally Posted By BadShovelhead:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.

I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world...

Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.


You are one sick puppy-dawg.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:54:06 AM EDT
Originally Posted By sjerdude:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time.


Link Posted: 5/1/2009 8:56:52 AM EDT
Girl of your dreams and whore should not be 2 in one
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:02:37 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:03:10 AM EDT


I love this place.


Oh yeah, pics or GTFO.  
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:07:07 AM EDT
Originally Posted By sjerdude:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time.


lulz

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:16:10 AM EDT
I sense potential win in this thread.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:17:51 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Luke77:
well, at least she isn't a Navy girl...you know what they say about Navy girls.  


They have enormous asses?  
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:20:51 AM EDT
This. Keep it zipped or it will be growing something the next morning



Originally Posted By exman98:



Originally Posted By Gabriel11808:

You were probably the 4th guy that night to come back to her place.  



I'd give you a 2/10 since you did not score.




+1



women+military=whore (or i have often noticed)






 
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:21:19 AM EDT
no pics = fail
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:26:33 AM EDT
Originally Posted By BadShovelhead:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.

I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world...

Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.


Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:27:55 AM EDT



Originally Posted By PUBBOY:



Originally Posted By sjerdude:

Gag reflex, not so deep next time.




lulz





/Thread.



 
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:36:59 AM EDT
Originally Posted By BadShovelhead:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.

I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world...

Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.


Verified service in the USMC right here folks.  This guy is legit.

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:38:40 AM EDT
Originally Posted By distributor_of_pain:
Originally Posted By chase45:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her.

So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist

Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking .

So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army.

Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy)

So how did I do for a thur night?


Sounds like you did as well as the guy on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Well, you didn't actually fuck her, and they probably did, but anyway...enjoy it! everyone else has


The Truth - Sometimes it's a fucking shoe in the ball!
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:40:15 AM EDT
Originally Posted By DangerDave:
Trust me on this.   That kentucky jelly tastes like shit.



What?
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:53:03 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Colby:
Originally Posted By BadShovelhead:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.

I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world...

Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.


Verified service in the USMC right here folks.  This guy is legit.



No question about it.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:55:03 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 45FMJoe:
Originally Posted By Colby:
Originally Posted By BadShovelhead:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.

I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world...

Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.


Verified service in the USMC right here folks.  This guy is legit.



No question about it.


The real question is....did he pop on her stump
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:01:19 AM EDT
Originally Posted By BadShovelhead:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.

I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world...

Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.


WINNER!!
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:01:21 AM EDT

Here is a pic of him her.  Do not marry the shemale. It will get out of service before you then take half your pay.


Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:05:39 AM EDT
Originally Posted By chase45:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her.

So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist

Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking .

So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army.

Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy)

So how did I do for a thur night?




Watch out for your cornhole dude!

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:09:14 AM EDT
Originally Posted By chase45:
So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army.


I wonder what her husband will think when he gets back from the sand box.

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:13:13 AM EDT
Originally Posted By sjerdude:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time.


/Thread

Got to love it when a thread is answered in the first post.

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:23:49 AM EDT
Next time, floss.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:28:45 AM EDT
Originally Posted By blessteve:

Here is a pic of him her.  Do not marry the shemale. It will get out of service before you then take half your pay.

http://i472.photobucket.com/albums/rr90/blessteve/ho.jpg


Hip implants...again!  
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