User Panel
Posted: 5/1/2009 8:17:14 AM EDT
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her.
So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking . So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy) So how did I do for a thur night? |
|
You were probably the 4th guy that night to come back to her place.
I'd give you a 2/10 since you did not score. |
|
You failed to hit it, so you receive a "nice try, but you fail" award.
|
|
Quoted:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her. So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking . So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy) So how did I do for a thur night? Sounds like you did as well as the guy on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Well, you didn't actually fuck her, and they probably did, but anyway...enjoy it! everyone else has |
|
Quoted:
Which Erotic Services Craigslist posting did you reply to? Erotic shemale foot massager hahahhahah Jk |
|
well, at least she isn't a Navy girl...you know what they say about Navy girls.
|
|
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.
I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her. So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking . So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy) So how did I do for a thur night? Sounds like you did as well as the guy on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Well, you didn't actually fuck her, and they probably did, but anyway...enjoy it! everyone else has AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA> That is sum truth there. If she will sleep with you that quick, who else is she sleeping with. Oh wait, she said you were special and lemme guess she said "Ive never just brought a guy I just met home b4" LOL.. |
|
hahahaha she is army and you are joining the navy... and you want to marry her? FYI this WILL end in epic failure
|
|
Quoted:
You were probably the 4th guy that night to come back to her place. I'd give you a 2/10 since you did not score. +1 women+military=whore (or i have often noticed) |
|
Quoted:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time. haha, someone had to say it. |
|
should have hit it while she was puking. makes the walls tighter.
|
|
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it. |
|
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it. that was epic |
|
Jesus, you tried to hit an Army chick.
did she have one of those NSN reorder numbers on her lower back? |
|
you came on arfcom bragging about a chic, and NO PICS?
we all know now that this is |
|
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it. You are one sick puppy-dawg. |
|
|
|
Quoted:
well, at least she isn't a Navy girl...you know what they say about Navy girls. They have enormous asses? |
|
This. Keep it zipped or it will be growing something the next morning
Quoted: Quoted: You were probably the 4th guy that night to come back to her place. I'd give you a 2/10 since you did not score. +1 women+military=whore (or i have often noticed) |
|
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it. |
|
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it. Verified service in the USMC right here folks. This guy is legit. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her. So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking . So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy) So how did I do for a thur night? Sounds like you did as well as the guy on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Well, you didn't actually fuck her, and they probably did, but anyway...enjoy it! everyone else has The Truth - Sometimes it's a fucking shoe in the ball! |
|
Quoted:
Trust me on this. That kentucky jelly tastes like shit. What? |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it. Verified service in the USMC right here folks. This guy is legit. No question about it. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it. Verified service in the USMC right here folks. This guy is legit. No question about it. The real question is....did he pop on her stump |
|
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it. WINNER!! |
|
|
Quoted:
So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. I wonder what her husband will think when he gets back from the sand box. |
|
Quoted:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time. /Thread Got to love it when a thread is answered in the first post. |
|
Quoted:
Here is a pic of him her. Do not marry the shemale. It will get out of service before you then take half your pay. http://i472.photobucket.com/albums/rr90/blessteve/ho.jpg Hip implants...again! |
|
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.