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Posted: 9/17/2009 12:36:21 PM EST
"Fact: The FDA doesn't allow very large or very small condoms. Magnum XLs are only sightly bigger than normal. In Europe, however, they are soon going to get them in 70 different sizes. Are you a J33 or a G22?

Click to download the fit kit in PDF format

Believe it or not, using a condom that is not suited for your penis increases the possibilities of breakage and slippage, which in turn increases the possibility of sexually transmitted infections, or unwanted pregnancies. Even while they know this—as have been discovered in various studies—the FDA doesn't allow for condoms that are longer, shorter, thinner, or thicker than the average. That's bad—not to mention effing annoying.

In Europe, however, men will be able to print out this measuring tool, and order exactly the size they need. Hopefully, someone will bring these TheyFit condoms to the US. For now, however, all you can do is print and play."



Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:38:29 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 12:38:39 PM EST by sleepy56ace]
Wow
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:40:19 PM EST
Everyone knows all of ARFCOM is a size G22.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:40:58 PM EST
I just printed it out and tried it, G22 here .
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:43:51 PM EST
Another G22
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:44:11 PM EST
Shit, I got a paper cut from the top of the page.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:44:59 PM EST
Don't they make them in big boy sizes?
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:45:27 PM EST
It's sad that I'm really tempted to print this out.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:46:08 PM EST
TheyFit used to be available in the US, they kept failing the FDA-mandated tests so they were banned from importation.

Kharn
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:46:11 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 12:48:07 PM EST by Burntrubber87]
Originally Posted By 70satvert:
Everyone knows all of ARFCOM is a size G22.


i'm built like a tuna can, I need a J22.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:46:22 PM EST
Haha

Wide––––––wider
long––––––-longer

Can't offend the customers!
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:49:59 PM EST
Bunch of nancy boys here, tell me when thay come out with G22 XXL
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:50:08 PM EST
You guys are doing it wrong, suppose to measure your junk, not your feet
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:50:26 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 12:59:02 PM EST by ScaryBlackGuns]
The size J33 comes with your choice of either a bottle of Prozac or a single shot shotgun.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:50:50 PM EST
So all you G22 guys...do you kaboom when you go off?
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:51:50 PM EST
"Please report to the BOTD Forum for proper fitting inspiration"
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:52:04 PM EST
Just stick to anal and you won't have to worry about the latex silliness
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:52:53 PM EST
Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:53:56 PM EST
WTF? Is something wrong with this sizing thing? I printed it off, and it's like trying to measure a telephone pole with a yardstick.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:54:11 PM EST
Originally Posted By DriftPunch:
Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?


Don't you mean 3x5 index card
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:55:13 PM EST
n...
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:55:20 PM EST
Got a papercut on my tongue.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:55:53 PM EST
Originally Posted By ragedracer1977:
WTF? Is something wrong with this sizing thing? I printed it off, and it's like trying to measure a telephone pole with a yardstick.


call them up and ask for the child sizes
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:56:39 PM EST
Originally Posted By clement:
Originally Posted By ragedracer1977:
WTF? Is something wrong with this sizing thing? I printed it off, and it's like trying to measure a telephone pole with a yardstick.


call them up and ask for the child sizes


Any smaller and I couldn't even measure my damn forearm.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:57:15 PM EST
wow that cartoon penis has some super wood going on there
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:58:23 PM EST
Is that chart oversized or something? I can't get past the fine print.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:02:25 PM EST
Originally Posted By DriftPunch:
Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?


I made a special copy sized just for you.




Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:04:07 PM EST
I notice your size options are Wide or Wider, and Long or Longer.

Looks like the marketroids got that one right!
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:06:15 PM EST
Too...many....hilarious....responses!!!
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:08:51 PM EST
Originally Posted By Armed_Scientist:
Just stick to anal and you won't have to worry about the latex silliness


Good way to get a UTI. Ask me how I know.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:11:49 PM EST
Damn

I'm hung like a

















Hamster
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:14:04 PM EST
Is that picture of the Wizard really necessary.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:14:07 PM EST
I am going to go to staples and tell the girl I need this page enlarged because it isnt big enough on an 8x11 sheet.


She'll figure it out when I leave.

Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:14:27 PM EST
I said "fuck it" and just taped the damn thing to my dick, wife didn't even notice.


GM
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:16:11 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 1:16:24 PM EST by DriftPunch]
Originally Posted By CWO:
Originally Posted By DriftPunch:
Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?


I made a special copy sized just for you.




http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y91/Eyesofsilver/custom_1253207337740_FitKit-1.jpg


Ha, that looks like the seating chart on United Airline's reservation site...
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:16:25 PM EST
"Big like can of pepsi"
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:16:31 PM EST
I'm not putting my junk anywhere near that creepy penis measuring wizard
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:16:53 PM EST
What size smaller than 'J'?

Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:22:29 PM EST
That chart doesn't work for shit. I can't line it up with my junk without scrolling around with the mouse roller, my balls keep hitting the F12 key, and now I need to clean my monitor. Who thought this shit up
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:22:38 PM EST
I don't see any warning for "Remove before use"

The cool thing is, now women can discriminate by size when they post up personal ads.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:23:37 PM EST

Originally Posted By FMJshooter:
Is that picture of the Wizard really necessary.

I put on my wizard robe, and hat.


I thought the same thing. Why not a hot chick?
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:24:14 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 1:27:01 PM EST by Admiral_Crunch]
Damn, my monitor glass is cold.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:27:07 PM EST
Originally Posted By Ragin_Cajun:
That chart doesn't work for shit. I can't line it up with my junk without scrolling around with the mouse roller, my balls keep hitting the F12 key, and now I need to clean my monitor. Who thought this shit up


Try these alternate instructions:


Place your junk on the scanner. Slam the lid closed. Scan, print and voila!
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:27:54 PM EST
I'm sure there's an Arfcommer here who could modify the template to American Standards and a pic of Megan Fox superimposed
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:30:03 PM EST
A copy will be left on the work printer soon...
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:30:20 PM EST
Originally Posted By Ragin_Cajun:
That chart doesn't work for shit. I can't line it up with my junk without scrolling around with the mouse roller, my balls keep hitting the F12 key, and now I need to clean my monitor. Who thought this shit up




Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:30:22 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 1:31:08 PM EST by kap_x]
I see I'm not alone on not wanting to put my dick on a cartoon wizard
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:30:57 PM EST
I'm smart as a horse.

And hung like Einstein.

John
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:32:23 PM EST
Originally Posted By DriftPunch:
Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?


We're arfcommers, you know everyone here needs an Hp plotter, and that picture needs to be plotted on ansi e size.

Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:32:27 PM EST
Guys.

Just go to the store and buy some A4 sized paper.

Or print this off in Mexico or Canada and use their paper instead.

We use 8 1/2 x 11. Why? Because were awesome and want to say FUCK YOU to the rest of the world as often as possible.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:33:33 PM EST
That's some funny shit
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