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Posted: 2/18/2012 5:19:21 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 5:23:26 AM EDT by fortyfive4life]
So recently I've been looking for a rather anonymous person to chat with. I think text on my phone would be the ultimate goal. I'll explain.

I'm married, have kids, as such I really have no one to truly talk with. If you think about it, there is in no way to be genuine when you are in person. There are rules, telling someone you work with that you had a fight with your wife last night is sort of TMI. If you start talking to a stranger or fellow student (I usually feel more comfortable talking to women) they assume you might be hitting on them.

I've tried some online chat rooms to see if I could find a good conversationalist, and they are mostly filled with pedophiles. Online services seem scammy or specifically geared towards dating.

My wife and I talk certainly, however she has no real interest in politics, guns, etc. and we normally have bills or the kids as the main topic.

Anyone else ever think that an anonymous person would be a great texting buddy?
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 5:23:14 AM EDT
omegle
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 5:24:02 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 5:24:18 AM EDT by fortyfive4life]
yeah tried that. A LOT of guys looking for sex talk etc.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 5:26:33 AM EDT
You're weird.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 5:31:29 AM EDT
Frankly, if you can't have a conversation with your family/wife/girlfriend about things which don't involve the the primary concerns of the them, you have bigger problems that your lack of outputs is going to solve.

Maybe it's time to have "big boy" talk with the wife? Explain that you feel intellectually stifled, suggest an alternative.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 5:34:00 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
omegle.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: ur a gay *igger


Yeah, that's a really good idea.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 5:35:18 AM EDT
Originally Posted By HKUSP45C:
Frankly, if you can't have a conversation with your family/wife/girlfriend about things which don't involve the the primary concerns of the them, you have bigger problems that your lack of outputs is going to solve.

Maybe it's time to have "big boy" talk with the wife? Explain that you feel intellectually stifled, suggest an alternative.


That will do nothing but cause strife. You can't change someones intellectual tendencies. I can talk to her, we don't have some of the same interests when it comes to Politics, Reading etc. She would tell me to go find someone that I liked to talk to. Have you ever been married with small children. 90 percent of the topics by necessity are those of finances, appointments, etc.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 5:38:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 5:42:57 AM EDT by HKUSP45C]
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
Originally Posted By HKUSP45C:
Frankly, if you can't have a conversation with your family/wife/girlfriend about things which don't involve the the primary concerns of the them, you have bigger problems that your lack of outputs is going to solve.

Maybe it's time to have "big boy" talk with the wife? Explain that you feel intellectually stifled, suggest an alternative.


That will do nothing but cause strife. You can't change someones intellectual tendencies. I can talk to her, we don't have some of the same interests when it comes to Politics, Reading etc. She would tell me to go find someone that I liked to talk to. Have you ever been married with small children. 90 percent of the topics by necessity are those of finances, appointments, etc.


I am married with children. Our topics of discussion cover the spectrum you provided,

If you discussing things with your wife "causes strife" I refer you to the door you walked in, it swings both ways.

ETA: to say that you're so dissatisfied with your wife's company that you'd prefer the company of strangers (even in a platonic sense) is a big fucking indicator that you're dissatisfied with your current station in life. Shit or get off the pot. fix it or leave, it doesn't get better on its own.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 5:53:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 6:02:21 AM EDT by fortyfive4life]
Originally Posted By HKUSP45C:
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
Originally Posted By HKUSP45C:
Frankly, if you can't have a conversation with your family/wife/girlfriend about things which don't involve the the primary concerns of the them, you have bigger problems that your lack of outputs is going to solve.

Maybe it's time to have "big boy" talk with the wife? Explain that you feel intellectually stifled, suggest an alternative.


That will do nothing but cause strife. You can't change someones intellectual tendencies. I can talk to her, we don't have some of the same interests when it comes to Politics, Reading etc. She would tell me to go find someone that I liked to talk to. Have you ever been married with small children. 90 percent of the topics by necessity are those of finances, appointments, etc.


I am married with children. Our topics of discussion cover the spectrum you provided,

If you discussing things with your wife "causes strife" I refer you to the door you walked in, it swings both ways.

ETA: to say that you're so dissatisfied with your wife's company that you'd prefer the company of strangers (even in a platonic sense) is a big fucking indicator that you're dissatisfied with your current station in life. Shit or get off the pot. fix it or leave, it doesn't get better on its own.


I was referring to this comment you made "Explain that you feel intellectually stifled" I find that unnecessary, something like that would hurt feelings for no reason. She doesn't have to have the same interests as me.

Also I enjoy her company, so i don't agree with the assessment that I should "Shit or get off the pot".

Whether we like it or not familiarity prevents us from being truly genuine is some way or another. Whether protecting someones feelings (family members) or maintaining privacy(friends / acquaintances). An "anonymous" friend would resolve this theoretically.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 5:59:35 AM EDT
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
Originally Posted By HKUSP45C:
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
Originally Posted By HKUSP45C:
Frankly, if you can't have a conversation with your family/wife/girlfriend about things which don't involve the the primary concerns of the them, you have bigger problems that your lack of outputs is going to solve.

Maybe it's time to have "big boy" talk with the wife? Explain that you feel intellectually stifled, suggest an alternative.


That will do nothing but cause strife. You can't change someones intellectual tendencies. I can talk to her, we don't have some of the same interests when it comes to Politics, Reading etc. She would tell me to go find someone that I liked to talk to. Have you ever been married with small children. 90 percent of the topics by necessity are those of finances, appointments, etc.


I am married with children. Our topics of discussion cover the spectrum you provided,

If you discussing things with your wife "causes strife" I refer you to the door you walked in, it swings both ways.

ETA: to say that you're so dissatisfied with your wife's company that you'd prefer the company of strangers (even in a platonic sense) is a big fucking indicator that you're dissatisfied with your current station in life. Shit or get off the pot. fix it or leave, it doesn't get better on its own.


I was referring to this comment you made "Explain that you feel intellectually stifled" I find that unnecessary, something like that would hurt feelings for no reason. She doesn't have to have the same interests as me.


You have two (maybe three) choices. Fix your relationship through discussion or find a wife you like to talk to.

The third choice is a fucked up mix of you having these clandestine "affairs" with people, online, who stimulate you, intellectually, and your wife being "ok" with you finding fulfilment elsewhere.

It honestly sounds to me like you picked the wrong woman and are now trying to fill her deficiencies with the rest of the world.

That's fucked up.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:02:47 AM EDT
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
So recently I've been looking for a rather anonymous person to chat with. I think text on my phone would be the ultimate goal. I'll explain.

I'm married, have kids, as such I really have no one to truly talk with. If you think about it, there is in no way to be genuine when you are in person. There are rules, telling someone you work with that you had a fight with your wife last night is sort of TMI. If you start talking to a stranger or fellow student (I usually feel more comfortable talking to women) they assume you might be hitting on them.

I've tried some online chat rooms to see if I could find a good conversationalist, and they are mostly filled with pedophiles. Online services seem scammy or specifically geared towards dating.

My wife and I talk certainly, however she has no real interest in politics, guns, etc. and we normally have bills or the kids as the main topic.

Anyone else ever think that an anonymous person would be a great texting buddy?


Do you like model trains and crab meat?
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:03:14 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 6:05:18 AM EDT by fortyfive4life]
HKUSP:
I think you are jumping to conclusions

repost

Also I enjoy her company, so i don't agree with the assessment that I should "Shit or get off the pot".

Whether we like it or not familiarity prevents us from being truly genuine is some way or another. Whether protecting someones feelings (family members) or maintaining privacy(friends / acquaintances). An "anonymous" friend would resolve this theoretically.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:05:54 AM EDT
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
HKUSP:
I think you are jumping to conclusions


I'm responding to your assertions.

This is a place where people discuss things, I think you're in denial.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:06:52 AM EDT

A/S/L ?

Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:07:35 AM EDT
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
An "anonymous" friend would resolve this theoretically.


Run with that, let me know how it works out.

Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:09:29 AM EDT
Originally Posted By HKUSP45C:
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
An "anonymous" friend would resolve this theoretically.


Run with that, let me know how it works out.



I'm trying, that's the purpose of this post. I find it an interesting exercise.

Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:10:38 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 6:11:07 AM EDT by fortyfive4life]
Originally Posted By TacticalMOLONLABE:

A/S/L ?



lol

Not quite what I was looking for, honestly those type of chat scenarios make me think 2/3 of the world is more perverted than I thought.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:11:51 AM EDT
Would you be ok if it was your wife asking the same question?

How do you think she would feel about it?
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:17:03 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 6:18:32 AM EDT by fortyfive4life]
Originally Posted By bafordman:
Would you be ok if it was your wife asking the same question?

How do you think she would feel about it?


I would be fine with this. She's fine with me texting girls I know. Anonymity/ great geographical distance would certainly be fine. We trust each other.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:19:52 AM EDT
Aren't you pretty much doing that here?
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:22:52 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 6:23:09 AM EDT by fortyfive4life]

Originally Posted By Windustsearch:
Aren't you pretty much doing that here?


Exactly. Although I'm interested in someone I can text eventually. I'm busy and always have my phone.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:22:59 AM EDT
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
Originally Posted By HKUSP45C:
Frankly, if you can't have a conversation with your family/wife/girlfriend about things which don't involve the the primary concerns of the them, you have bigger problems that your lack of outputs is going to solve.

Maybe it's time to have "big boy" talk with the wife? Explain that you feel intellectually stifled, suggest an alternative.


That will do nothing but cause strife. You can't change someones intellectual tendencies. I can talk to her, we don't have some of the same interests when it comes to Politics, Reading etc. She would tell me to go find someone that I liked to talk to. Have you ever been married with small children. 90 percent of the topics by necessity are those of finances, appointments, etc.


Why on Earth did you ever get married and have kids then???

I have to agree with HKUSP... you've dug yourself a real hole here, and chatting with an anonymous stranger isn't going to solve anything. It might make you feel a little bit better for a short period of time, but that's about it.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:29:14 AM EDT
Originally Posted By LuckyDucky:
You're weird.


Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:31:20 AM EDT
Just be careful. These innocent things have a tendency to spiral out of control, fast!
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:32:12 AM EDT
Originally Posted By HKUSP45C:
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
HKUSP:
I think you are jumping to conclusions


I'm responding to your assertions.

This is a place where people discuss things, I think you're in denial.


Hate to agree with this fucking guy, but I found myself in a very similar situation. My girlfriend is very intelligent and physically fit. My exwifes boyfriend is a gamer who likes to drink and hang out on Fakebook. I encourage you to reconnect with your wife.

Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:35:56 AM EDT
No.

Texting (i.e., from your phone) some random person all the intimate details of your private life... What could go wrong?

__________________________________________________________________
Cross-platform gun database/electronic bound book (v1.3.2) (and the original thread).
«nolite confidere in principibus, in filiis hominum quibus non est salus»
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:38:08 AM EDT
Originally Posted By tc2k11:
No.

Texting (i.e., from your phone) some random person all the intimate details of your private life... What could go wrong?




Not all intimate details. Do I post my SS # here? my address? no
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:40:11 AM EDT
The pen pal sites typically connect you with a pen pal via email now a days. You might find one interested in texting.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:40:21 AM EDT
Hmm that's all I got.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:51:39 AM EDT
Originally Posted By SplintNicket:
The pen pal sites typically connect you with a pen pal via email now a days. You might find one interested in texting.


Good idea. I am willing to email.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:54:43 AM EDT
Something is amiss, and it sounds like you're in deinal about it.

Link Posted: 2/18/2012 6:59:38 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 7:00:00 AM EDT by TangoPapa]
ASL? and S2R
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:01:49 AM EDT
You can search by age, country, etc. here.

this one requires a sign up.

Just google pen pals.

Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:04:51 AM EDT
Usually when I reach that point with a wife, I get a divorce.

With the current, and third iteration of Ms. 45-Seventy, we usually talk about guns, hot girls, steak & eggs, cats, and hot girls (hey, we really like hot girls).... That and we both like to watch Fox News, Top Shot, Smokey & the Bandit and shit tons of lesbian porn.

All in all, it works.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:05:11 AM EDT
Buzzen chat. Used to be MSN chat but they stopped service and the chatters took over and made their own site. Check General and the Espressobar. Theyre fine for regular discussion without everyone openly trying to get laid.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:08:04 AM EDT
Where the fuck did I leave my robe and wizard hat?
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:14:49 AM EDT
Damn OP...certainly didn't take long for people to wander in here and start judging you. ARFCOM never ceases to deliver.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:16:51 AM EDT
Craigslist - under the strictly platonic section. There are alot of stay at home chicks that are bored, they would love to chat with someone via text/email/phone.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:24:13 AM EDT
This is football bat level of fuxxored, get off arfcom and get into some personal counseling
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:30:48 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 7:32:36 AM EDT by Miles_Urbanus]
Are you looking for a friend or looking for a friend with female parts?

Get off the computer and make some real life friends. Sounds like you don't have any. Join a fraternal organization, get involved at the local range/shooting club, start flying R/C choppers/planes, play video games online and make nerd friends, go to meet-ups in your area for things that interest you, take a class (I took a pottery class last year) etc.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:37:40 AM EDT
Originally Posted By die-tryin:
Craigslist - under the strictly platonic section. There are alot of stay at home chicks that are bored, they would love to chat with someone via text/email/phone.


Most of them will blow you for 20 or 25 "roses", too... So you'll have that going for you.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:48:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By die-tryin:
Craigslist - under the strictly platonic section. There are alot of stay at home chicks that are bored, they would love to chat with someone via text/email/phone.


yeah sure.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:51:47 AM EDT
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
Originally Posted By TacticalMOLONLABE:

A/S/L ?



lol

Not quite what I was looking for, honestly those type of chat scenarios make me think 2/3 of the world is more perverted than I thought.

More like 99/100.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 7:59:32 AM EDT
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
So recently I've been looking for a rather anonymous person to chat with. I think text on my phone would be the ultimate goal. I'll explain.

I'm married, have kids, as such I really have no one to truly talk with. If you think about it, there is in no way to be genuine when you are in person. There are rules, telling someone you work with that you had a fight with your wife last night is sort of TMI. If you start talking to a stranger or fellow student (I usually feel more comfortable talking to women) they assume you might be hitting on them.

I've tried some online chat rooms to see if I could find a good conversationalist, and they are mostly filled with pedophiles. Online services seem scammy or specifically geared towards dating.

My wife and I talk certainly, however she has no real interest in politics, guns, etc. and we normally have bills or the kids as the main topic.

Anyone else ever think that an anonymous person would be a great texting buddy?


You can't find a "good conversationalist" who texts. People who rely on texting in my experience can't keep a conversation going for shit.

It sounds rmarkably like you are bored and want someone to entertain you. Don't you have friends you can talk to?

This shit sounds shady as fuck.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 8:00:23 AM EDT
Maybe he just needs to borrow a toaster.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 8:00:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 8:01:12 AM EDT by 25Chuck]
Op, this question may sound insulting but it isn't meant to be.

Don't you have any friends? The things you list are usually what one does with their friends.

ETA: As said above, you can't really have a meaningful conversation over text anyway.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 8:00:38 AM EDT
OP, people have had your lament since the dawn of time. Blabbing about yourself to others, whoever they may be, is no solution. Have you tried reading novels? You need to get out of your own thoughts and invested in someone else's. Jonathan Franzen just had a really interesting piece in the New Yorker about the writer Edith Wharton: essentially, he explained how such an unappealing person as Wharton could still write such gripping tales. For instance:
One of the great perplexities of fiction -and the quality that makes the novel the quintessentially liberal art form- is that we experience sympathy so readily for characters we wouldn't like in real life. Becky Sharp may be a soulless social climber, Tom Ripley may be a sociopath, the Jackal may want to assassinate the French President, Mickey Sabbath may be a disgustingly self-involved old goat, and Raskolnikov may want to get away with murder, but I find myself rooting for each of them.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 8:03:28 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 8:04:03 AM EDT by Smashy]
Originally Posted By fortyfive4life:
That will do nothing but cause strife. You can't change someones intellectual tendencies. I can talk to her, we don't have some of the same interests when it comes to Politics, Reading etc. She would tell me to go find someone that I liked to talk to. Have you ever been married with small children. 90 percent of the topics by necessity are those of finances, appointments, etc.




You're right, 90% of everyday conversation is about everyday stuff like finances, appointments, etc. But the other things you're saying make it sound like your wife simply isn't interested in the other 10% of conversation with you.

Link Posted: 2/18/2012 8:03:38 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 8:04:34 AM EDT by patriot73]
Wow. Congratulations. In 9 years this is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever seen anyone post.

I bet your wife has access to the internet.

My god have you just ruined your life.

Work through your problems with your wife. Your kids are about to suffer big time.

What you have here is a failure to communicate.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 8:15:43 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2012 8:20:31 AM EDT by fortyfive4life]
Originally Posted By 25Chuck:
Op, this question may sound insulting but it isn't meant to be.

Don't you have any friends? The things you list are usually what one does with their friends.

ETA: As said above, you can't really have a meaningful conversation over text anyway.


Most of my "friends" are busy people, "Hey friend/wife I just got an A on my test at school today!, and I have some time here on lunch to chat" "ahh yeah great good for you, umm kinda busy at work..."

and again I will reiterate, which is easily seen here, people judge. Due to this fact, you simply cannot say whatever you want to in normal social situations.

An "anonymous" person somewhat helps with this "problem" . Case in point, again is here on Arfcom. A lot of people might call me an asshole or tell me to divorce my wife and it doesn't matter as I don't know all of you.

In fact the reactions by many of you is exactly why anonymity is what I feel is essential. It's somehow not socially accepted to talk to a woman about anything "personal" thoughts etc without people telling me I've fucked my marriage or something. It's a social convention. It's not the truth. Somehow ONE person is supposed to fill EVERY role in your life? Honestly I think THAT is setting oneself up for failure.



For the comments regarding getting away from the computer, that is really the whole point of text/email. I'm busy too and my phone comes with me.
Link Posted: 2/18/2012 8:19:21 AM EDT
I have been married 26 years.


Get off the internet and go talk to your wife
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