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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:11:12 PM EDT
My 16 year old cousin has been telling me about how he's going to run away.

He hates his step mom, and his dad is dead, so he feels alienated, blah blah.


Aside from all the standard "You're a retard." reasons about why he shouldnt do it, I also told him that he couldnt get a job, since they'd require tax ID, and he'd have to pay taxes wherever he ran away to (state and federal), and if his step mom filed a missing persons on him, he'd get found and dragged back there.

Then he told me that he'd still be able to get a job and wait until he was 18 and then get his GED from a community college, and pay rent with some random guy he met on the internet that agreed to let him stay there.

SOMEONE OFF THE GODDAMNED INTERNET!?!?!?!?! he
I'm trying to deter this little retard, but he doesnt believe me that he'll actually be actively sought if he does the running away and leaves a note explaining that he wasnt kidnapped. hinking.gif
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:13:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/4/2005 11:14:22 PM EDT by SteyrAUG]
Hope he likes having anal sex and blowing "some guy on the internet."
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:14:47 PM EDT
tell him to make himself useful and join the military
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:15:38 PM EDT
A guy from the internet?

Christ, I don't know what to say to him to keep him from leaving and finding this pervert, but hope it's found quickly.. Ugh.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:15:45 PM EDT
Isn't school supposed to start pretty soon...?
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:19:00 PM EDT
tell him to have fun and send you a post card saying what sucking a hobos penis tastes like.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:28:18 PM EDT
16 year olds are dumbasses. They think they know everything....

Can you let him "run away" to live with you? Charge him rent and let him try to support himself on the type of job a 16 year old can get. (want fries with that?)

I can visualize the look on his face when he realizes that food costs money



Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:29:41 PM EDT
Let him run. Make sure to pack him an extra pair of shoes and his angry eyes.

Seriously though, when I was 16 I hated my parents because they were doing their duty. Now, I can't thank them enough for it.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:33:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 4xys2xxs:
16 year olds are dumbasses. They think they know everything....

Can you let him "run away" to live with you? Charge him rent and let him try to support himself on the type of job a 16 year old can get. (want fries with that?)

I can visualize the look on his face when he realizes that food costs moneyhr


Wouldnt that be a crime?
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:35:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:

Originally Posted By 4xys2xxs:
16 year olds are dumbasses. They think they know everything....

Can you let him "run away" to live with you? Charge him rent and let him try to support himself on the type of job a 16 year old can get. (want fries with that?)

I can visualize the look on his face when he realizes that food costs money






Wouldnt that be a crime?



Well..it's your cousin. Wouldn't it be better to be safe with you, then with some strange dude from the internet?



Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:35:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/4/2005 11:36:16 PM EDT by SteyrAUG]

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:

Originally Posted By 4xys2xxs:
16 year olds are dumbasses. They think they know everything....

Can you let him "run away" to live with you? Charge him rent and let him try to support himself on the type of job a 16 year old can get. (want fries with that?)

I can visualize the look on his face when he realizes that food costs money






Wouldnt that be a crime?



So is forced sodomy on a minor. Your call.

Perhaps you should talk to his parents and maybe let him try "making it on his own" with you for a little bit.

People with families shouldn't have to rely on dudes on the internet.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:36:44 PM EDT
Give the standard Loveline advice:

Tough it out, get good grades, apply to college, move out as soon as you can once you graduate or turn 18.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:39:19 PM EDT
How the hell do you convince some "guy" on the internet to let you live with him?
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:43:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:

Originally Posted By 4xys2xxs:
16 year olds are dumbasses. They think they know everything....

Can you let him "run away" to live with you? Charge him rent and let him try to support himself on the type of job a 16 year old can get. (want fries with that?)

I can visualize the look on his face when he realizes that food costs moneyhr


Wouldnt that be a crime? hr


So is forced sodomy on a minor. Your call.

Perhaps you should talk to his parents and maybe let him try "making it on his own" with you for a little bit.

People with families shouldn't have to rely on dudes on the internet.



Well, right now I'm in State Law Enforcement with the DOC, and I would like to enlist in the Army.

I dont want any charges for kidnapping or whatever else would be associated with harboring a minor that ran away from home across state lines.

Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:45:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:

Originally Posted By 4xys2xxs:
16 year olds are dumbasses. They think they know everything....

Can you let him "run away" to live with you? Charge him rent and let him try to support himself on the type of job a 16 year old can get. (want fries with that?)

I can visualize the look on his face when he realizes that food costs money






Wouldnt that be a crime?



So is forced sodomy on a minor. Your call.

Perhaps you should talk to his parents and maybe let him try "making it on his own" with you for a little bit.

People with families shouldn't have to rely on dudes on the internet.



Well, right now I'm in State Law Enforcement with the DOC, and I would like to enlist in the Army.

I dont want any charges for kidnapping or whatever else would be associated with harboring a minor that ran away from home across state lines.




That is why I suggest talking to his parents and seeing if you can arrive at some kind of arrangement.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:50:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:

Originally Posted By 4xys2xxs:
16 year olds are dumbasses. They think they know everything....

Can you let him "run away" to live with you? Charge him rent and let him try to support himself on the type of job a 16 year old can get. (want fries with that?)

I can visualize the look on his face when he realizes that food costs money






Wouldnt that be a crime?



So is forced sodomy on a minor. Your call.

Perhaps you should talk to his parents and maybe let him try "making it on his own" with you for a little bit.

People with families shouldn't have to rely on dudes on the internet.



Well, right now I'm in State Law Enforcement with the DOC, and I would like to enlist in the Army.

I dont want any charges for kidnapping or whatever else would be associated with harboring a minor that ran away from home across state lines.




That is why I suggest talking to his parents and seeing if you can arrive at some kind of arrangement.



I agree 100%

I'm sure his parents would prefer that he was safe with a family member.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:53:13 PM EDT
He refuses to talk about any of his problems with his step-mother, as his father is dead and he hates her.

He said if I mention anything to her, he'll just take off.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 11:55:20 PM EDT
I remembered that he said he initially wanted to move in with his older brother (he's in college), but his step-mom wont let him leave and threatened to call the cops on him running away if he did that.

Yet another reminder of why he cant live with me.


Fuck him, I guess he'll just have to go off and do his own stupid shit.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:06:25 AM EDT
I CANT LET IT GO


This is keeping me up, and the reason why I cant sleep.

I would love for him to come and stay with me until he was 18, but I know his step-mom would call the cops on me if she knew, just to spite him (and me, since we kinda dont get along)

But I dont want the kid to freeload, so he'd have to get a job. I guess he'll have to get part-time jobs that pay cash to avoid the red tape that would lead to him even being in this state.

Sometimes life sucks, and if your family is stupid, yours sucks by proxy. hinking.gif
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:52:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:
He refuses to talk about any of his problems with his step-mother, as his father is dead and he hates her.

He said if I mention anything to her, he'll just take off.



You just said a mouthful about his problems. He's coming from CHAOS.

He has no father, is living with someone other than his mother (that might be a whole other situation), and he wants to run away. Boys without mothers usually have a whole littany of emotional problems.

Sounds like the boy needs counseling, seriously. I'm not judging the boy, I was 16 and never wanted to run away. He does, and it sounds like he's got problems that run deeper than being young and dumb.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:09:01 AM EDT

Sounds like you're going to have to talk to the stepmom. Grill the boy for as much info as possible beforehand, such as the name and location of this "guy on the internet", and be prepared for him to hate you--maybe forever.

But that's probably a small price to pay for protecting him, isn't it?

Jim
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:39:48 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 1:40:44 AM EDT by TomJefferson]
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:43:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 4xys2xxs:

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:

Originally Posted By 4xys2xxs:
16 year olds are dumbasses. They think they know everything....

Can you let him "run away" to live with you? Charge him rent and let him try to support himself on the type of job a 16 year old can get. (want fries with that?)

I can visualize the look on his face when he realizes that food costs money






Wouldnt that be a crime?



Well..it's your cousin. Wouldn't it be better to be safe with you, then with some strange dude from the internet?




+1 why the fuck isn't he going to live with blood family, instead? no other aunt/uncles? why not YOUR family?

Running away is a shit-ass childish solution.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:31:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:
Hope he likes having anal sex and blowing "some guy on the internet."



Amen.

Kids are stupid. Especially when they are teenagers and get some fool notion into their heads.

They can end up wearing a toe tag if someone doesn't beat some sense into them.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 9:38:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:
I CANT LET IT GO


This is keeping me up, and the reason why I cant sleep.

I would love for him to come and stay with me until he was 18, but I know his step-mom would call the cops on me if she knew, just to spite him (and me, since we kinda dont get along)

But I dont want the kid to freeload, so he'd have to get a job. I guess he'll have to get part-time jobs that pay cash to avoid the red tape that would lead to him even being in this state.

Sometimes life sucks, and if your family is stupid, yours sucks by proxy.



Running away from home is not a crime, even across state lines. If you give a home to a runaway, even without the stepmom's consent, that is not a crime, either. The cops would probably tell her they couldn't do anything.

I wouldn't encourage the kid to run away but, if he did, there is nothing immoral or illegal about you providing the kid food and shelter while he works out his issues.

I would tell him to try to stick it out and work it out the right way, while I would recognize myself that there often isn't a lot of choice for some kids. If the kid really finds the home environment to be abusive, what are you going to do? I would also make it clear that if he ever needed me, my door and refrigerator were open to him, provided he decided that he really wanted to live like an equal adult.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 9:40:25 AM EDT
He's a retard.

Let him run away. He'll be back...maybe even come back alive.


SGatr15
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 9:42:43 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 9:44:26 AM EDT by sgtar15]

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:
He refuses to talk about any of his problems with his step-mother, as his father is dead and he hates her.

He said if I mention anything to her, he'll just take off.



Mention it to her anyways.

And then tell you cousin he's is an idiot and a moron, then write him out of your life until he gets his shit together.

Sgat1r5
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 9:45:33 AM EDT
Slam him over the kitchen table and jam a cucumber up his poop shoot and then tell him there is plenty more of that waiting for him "in the real world".

That should do the trick
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 9:52:10 AM EDT
He will likely make your life miserable (or worse) if you let him move in with you.

If he is intent on moving out let him petition the Family Court (or equivalent in his state) for emancipation. The specifics of how to do this will vary by state. After a few months of living on his own he will likely come to his senses. That is if he doesn't end up dead from one of his new Internet friends.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 9:57:18 AM EDT
Tell him to look in the toilet, where his life will be if he does that.

I wasnt' THAT stupid when I was 16.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 10:00:22 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rkbar15:
He will likely make your life miserable (or worse) if you let him move in with you.

If he is intent on moving out let him petition the Family Court (or equivalent in his state) for emancipation. The specifics of how to do this will vary by state. After a few months of living on his own he will likely come to his senses. That is if he doesn't end up dead from one of his new Internet friends.



Don't ask me to explain it, but "been there, done that". Kids of that age are always a hassle. That doesn't mean they aren't worth the hassle if your intervention can set them straight. I could tell you about one kid that all the psychologists had said would do at least five years in prison by the time he was 25. Turns out the kid really was being abused and when he got into a more reasonable environment he cleaned up his act in a big way. He still wasn't perfect, but he was tolerable. Now he has ten years in the US Navy, working at a great job with a beautiful family and a promising career.

And if someone cares anything at all for the kid, then a little hassle on their part is probably worth saving him from some pervert. Emancipation isn't necessary. There is no law against the kid sleeping wherever he wants to sleep. There is no law against giving a kid shelter when he would otherwise be homeless, either.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 10:01:56 AM EDT
just a phase, he'll grow out of it
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 10:04:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By AssaultRifler:
just a phase, he'll grow out of it



From what I have seen of similar situations, it would often be a mistake to assume that.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 10:16:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By wolfman97:

Originally Posted By rkbar15:
He will likely make your life miserable (or worse) if you let him move in with you.

If he is intent on moving out let him petition the Family Court (or equivalent in his state) for emancipation. The specifics of how to do this will vary by state. After a few months of living on his own he will likely come to his senses. That is if he doesn't end up dead from one of his new Internet friends.



Don't ask me to explain it, but "been there, done that". Kids of that age are always a hassle. That doesn't mean they aren't worth the hassle if your intervention can set them straight. I could tell you about one kid that all the psychologists had said would do at least five years in prison by the time he was 25. Turns out the kid really was being abused and when he got into a more reasonable environment he cleaned up his act in a big way. He still wasn't perfect, but he was tolerable. Now he has ten years in the US Navy, working at a great job with a beautiful family and a promising career.

And if someone cares anything at all for the kid, then a little hassle on their part is probably worth saving him from some pervert. Emancipation isn't necessary. There is no law against the kid sleeping wherever he wants to sleep. There is no law against giving a kid shelter when he would otherwise be homeless, either.



What you're talking about takes a long term commitment with a stable home environment. Avtomat_Serpent said he wants to join the Army so he's not likely to be able to offer much long term help.

Emancipation gives him certain legal rights he would not have as an infant as well as demonstrating to the court a certain level of maturity.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 10:20:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rkbar15:

What you're talking about takes a long term commitment with a stable home environment. Avtomat_Serpent said he wants to join the Army so he's not likely to be able to offer much long term help.



Well, everyone has to make their own decisions about their life schedule. But I can attest to the fact that it often doesn't take much.



Emancipation gives him certain legal rights he would not have as an infant as well as demonstrating to the court a certain level of maturity.



I have never seen a case other than the cases where the kid already had lots of money and wanted to manage it himself where it would have made any difference. If he can raise the money for the attorney through his own work then he has effectively solved the emancipation problem. (And I have seen a fair number of similar cases).
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 10:26:31 AM EDT
He should ask the "guy on the internet" if he's expected to bring the Vasoline.

Also, remind him if he runs into Natalee Holiway, there's a big reward for information leading to her whereabouts.

Kid needs an irremovable ankle gizmo so you can retrieve him.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 10:56:28 AM EDT

Originally Posted By wolfman97:
I have never seen a case other than the cases where the kid already had lots of money and wanted to manage it himself where it would have made any difference. If he can raise the money for the attorney through his own work then he has effectively solved the emancipation problem. (And I have seen a fair number of similar cases).



Actually there are quite a few things he would be legally barred from doing without a parent or legal guardian's consent.

Since the kid isn't very mature and really has no workable plan it is just as likely that he will also run away from Avtomat_Serpent's care. Just going with the percentages. None of us have a crystal ball.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:05:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rkbar15:

Actually there are quite a few things he would be legally barred from doing without a parent or legal guardian's consent.



Such as?


Since the kid isn't very mature and really has no workable plan it is just as likely that he will also run away from Avtomat_Serpent's care. Just going with the percentages. None of us have a crystal ball.


Having seen several similar cases, I would dispute your judgment of the percentages. But it depends on the case. If someone cares about the kid enough, then they are willing to take the risk.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:11:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By Avtomat_Serpent:
He refuses to talk about any of his problems with his step-mother, as his father is dead and he hates her.

He said if I mention anything to her, he'll just take off.



Mention it to her anyways.

And then tell you cousin he's is an idiot and a moron, then write him out of your life until he gets his shit together.

Sgat1r5




Yep, because turning your back on family members is always the best thing to do!!
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:20:22 AM EDT
Is his name Taxman?
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:22:25 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 11:22:48 AM EDT by chooper]

Slam him over the kitchen table and jam a cucumber up his poop shoot and then tell him there is plenty more of that waiting for him "in the real world".

That should do the trick



Man, talk about tough love.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:29:43 AM EDT
Have him check on a decree of emancipation. This would make him able to go his own way legally as an emancipated juvinile. That way he could live with you and not jepordize your future.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:35:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By wolfman97:

Originally Posted By rkbar15:

Actually there are quite a few things he would be legally barred from doing without a parent or legal guardian's consent.



Such as?



Joining the military, entering into a contract, elective medical procedures, inheriting money or property and getting married to name only a few. Some of these may depend on his state of residence.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:43:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rkbar15:

Originally Posted By wolfman97:

Originally Posted By rkbar15:

Actually there are quite a few things he would be legally barred from doing without a parent or legal guardian's consent.



Such as?



Joining the military, entering into a contract, elective medical procedures, inheriting money or property and getting married to name only a few. Some of these may depend on his state of residence.



Well, as already stated, I have seen a number of such instances and never seen an instance when a kid that age wanted to join the military (assuming the military even accepts kids that age), had need to enter into a contract, had the money to pay for a nose job, wanted to get married, had any great sums of inherited money waiting for them, etc.,

Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:10:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:20:56 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 3:24:34 PM EDT by GwenInLA1]

Originally Posted By rkbar15:
He will likely make your life miserable (or worse) if you let him move in with you.

If he is intent on moving out let him petition the Family Court (or equivalent in his state) for emancipation. The specifics of how to do this will vary by state. After a few months of living on his own he will likely come to his senses. That is if he doesn't end up dead from one of his new Internet friends.



That's my best suggestion as well, if there are no relatives he can stay with. Other option is tough it out until he can join the military.

Gwen
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:31:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By GwenInLA1:

Originally Posted By rkbar15:
He will likely make your life miserable (or worse) if you let him move in with you.

If he is intent on moving out let him petition the Family Court (or equivalent in his state) for emancipation. The specifics of how to do this will vary by state. After a few months of living on his own he will likely come to his senses. That is if he doesn't end up dead from one of his new Internet friends.



That's my best suggestion as well, if there are no relatives he can stay with. Other option is tough it out until he can join the military.

Gwen



Uh, yeah, a troubled kid with no money is supposed to hire an attorney and try to work this thing through the courts. With any luck, he will get a court date by his 25th birthday.

Tell me, if the kid has the money to hire an attorney, why wouldn't he just go pay rent somewhere? And I am still unclear on what emancipation does for this kid that would be remotely close to useful.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:54:58 PM EDT
An emancipation petition is usually a simple procedure that doesn't require an attorney or take very long to complete. Some states have "emancipation petition packets" available with all the forms you need. There is often low-cost or no-cost legal aid available in many states as well.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 4:08:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By rkbar15:
An emancipation petition is usually a simple procedure that doesn't require an attorney or take very long to complete. Some states have "emancipation petition packets" available with all the forms you need. There is often low-cost or no-cost legal aid available in many states as well.



And the typical 16-year-old kid would have how much knowledge of how to go about that?

And remind me again exactly what benefit this would provide for the typical kid, assuming they knew how to do it. You listed things it could do. Not one of them would have been useful to any kid I knew in that situation.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 4:13:42 PM EDT
Let me just say, I truly do appreciate the responses.

I told him about the Emancipation thing, and I hope he looks into it.

As it stands, he actually has about $4000 he inherited from when his real mother died, so he could afford a lawyer if he needed to.

* So it is really not illegal for a person at age 16 to run away from home, and go live with someone else in another state? That isnt "Child Endangerment" or "Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor?"

If that is the case, I might not have as many reservations about providing shelter and comfort to him. He could get his license in my state, purchase a car, and drive himself to and from work.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 4:13:48 PM EDT
Hope this works out ok for your Cousin

When I was about that age I thought of takeing off (actually had it pretty good,just usuall teenage BS,hated school,hated parents bla,bla,bla) but was smart enough to think out the whole thing and KNOW I would be tradeing a pretty good life for a world of crap .
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