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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:13:42 PM EDT
[#1]
Hope he likes having anal sex and blowing "some guy on the internet."
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:14:47 PM EDT
[#2]
tell him to make himself useful and join the military
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:15:38 PM EDT
[#3]
A guy from the internet?
Christ, I don't know what to say to him to keep him from leaving and finding this pervert, but hope it's found quickly.. Ugh. |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:15:45 PM EDT
[#4]
Isn't school supposed to start pretty soon...?
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:19:00 PM EDT
[#5]
tell him to have fun and send you a post card saying what sucking a hobos penis tastes like.
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:28:18 PM EDT
[#6]
16 year olds are dumbasses. They think they know everything....
Can you let him "run away" to live with you? Charge him rent and let him try to support himself on the type of job a 16 year old can get. (want fries with that?) I can visualize the look on his face when he realizes that food costs money  |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:29:41 PM EDT
[#7]
Let him run. Make sure to pack him an extra pair of shoes and his angry eyes.
Seriously though, when I was 16 I hated my parents because they were doing their duty. Now, I can't thank them enough for it. |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:33:47 PM EDT
[#8]
Wouldnt that be a crime? |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:35:36 PM EDT
[#9]
Well..it's your cousin. Wouldn't it be better to be safe with you, then with some strange dude from the internet? |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:35:37 PM EDT
[#10]
So is forced sodomy on a minor. Your call. Perhaps you should talk to his parents and maybe let him try "making it on his own" with you for a little bit. People with families shouldn't have to rely on dudes on the internet. |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:36:44 PM EDT
[#11]
Give the standard Loveline advice:
Tough it out, get good grades, apply to college, move out as soon as you can once you graduate or turn 18. |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:39:19 PM EDT
[#12]
How the hell do you convince some "guy" on the internet to let you live with him?
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:43:28 PM EDT
[#13]
Well, right now I'm in State Law Enforcement with the DOC, and I would like to enlist in the Army. I dont want any charges for kidnapping or whatever else would be associated with harboring a minor that ran away from home across state lines. |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:45:28 PM EDT
[#14]
That is why I suggest talking to his parents and seeing if you can arrive at some kind of arrangement. |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:50:10 PM EDT
[#15]
I agree 100% I'm sure his parents would prefer that he was safe with a family member. |
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:53:13 PM EDT
[#16]
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Posted: 8/4/2005 11:55:20 PM EDT
[#17]
I remembered that he said he initially wanted to move in with his older brother (he's in college), but his step-mom wont let him leave and threatened to call the cops on him running away if he did that.
Yet another reminder of why he cant live with me. Fuck him, I guess he'll just have to go off and do his own stupid shit. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 12:06:25 AM EDT
[#18]
I CANT LET IT GO
This is keeping me up, and the reason why I cant sleep. I would love for him to come and stay with me until he was 18, but I know his step-mom would call the cops on me if she knew, just to spite him (and me, since we kinda dont get along) But I dont want the kid to freeload, so he'd have to get a job. I guess he'll have to get part-time jobs that pay cash to avoid the red tape that would lead to him even being in this state. Sometimes life sucks, and if your family is stupid, yours sucks by proxy. hinking.gif |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 12:52:07 AM EDT
[#19]
You just said a mouthful about his problems. He's coming from CHAOS. He has no father, is living with someone other than his mother (that might be a whole other situation), and he wants to run away. Boys without mothers usually have a whole littany of emotional problems. Sounds like the boy needs counseling, seriously. I'm not judging the boy, I was 16 and never wanted to run away. He does, and it sounds like he's got problems that run deeper than being young and dumb. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 1:09:01 AM EDT
[#20]
Sounds like you're going to have to talk to the stepmom. Grill the boy for as much info as possible beforehand, such as the name and location of this "guy on the internet", and be prepared for him to hate you--maybe forever. But that's probably a small price to pay for protecting him, isn't it? Jim |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 1:39:48 AM EDT
[#21]
The first thing I can advise is to remember all teenagers have "shit for brains". Their hormones are raging and reason fuddled. I sometimes wonder why my parents didn't lock me in my room except to go to school. Now you combine "shit for brains" and the fact it sounds like your cousin has never properly coped with the loss of his father and you have one messed up kid.
Your cousin has no idea how lucky he is to have a step mom that after the death of her husband is willing to take on the responsiblity of providing even room and board for a step child. It's quite rare in these times of disfunctional families. It's hard in todays world to realize how important something as simple as food on the table and a roof over your head is. Short of letting him run away, I can't think of a way to convince him of this for his head will be as hard as a rock if he's a normal 16 year old boy. I can advise you to stress to him the key to independence is money and the key to money is education. It's not bad to want independence and one should never chastise another for it but encourage it while stressing there is a right way and a wrong way. Every plan needs a backup plan and that backup plan a backup plan. It's called the rules of "3". I'd encourage him to quit bitching about it and do something about it and do it right. Get the grades, get a job, and save your money. Plan for your freedom for freedom always comes at a price. He won't accept this now but the day will come when he will appreaciate wha this woman has done for him regardless of the stress. More often than not, living with the hassle for a couple years if far less hassle than living with the guilt for a lifetime. This is a lesson that many of us if not most of us that were 16 now understand. For when I meet the 16 year old that doesn't have or didn't have "shit for brains", I shit my pants. Tj |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 1:43:45 AM EDT
[#22]
Running away is a shit-ass childish solution. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 3:31:51 AM EDT
[#23]
Amen. Kids are stupid. Especially when they are teenagers and get some fool notion into their heads. They can end up wearing a toe tag if someone doesn't beat some sense into them. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 9:38:57 AM EDT
[#24]
Running away from home is not a crime, even across state lines. If you give a home to a runaway, even without the stepmom's consent, that is not a crime, either. The cops would probably tell her they couldn't do anything. I wouldn't encourage the kid to run away but, if he did, there is nothing immoral or illegal about you providing the kid food and shelter while he works out his issues. I would tell him to try to stick it out and work it out the right way, while I would recognize myself that there often isn't a lot of choice for some kids. If the kid really finds the home environment to be abusive, what are you going to do? I would also make it clear that if he ever needed me, my door and refrigerator were open to him, provided he decided that he really wanted to live like an equal adult. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 9:40:25 AM EDT
[#25]
He's a retard.
Let him run away. He'll be back...maybe even come back alive. SGatr15 |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 9:42:43 AM EDT
[#26]
Mention it to her anyways. And then tell you cousin he's is an idiot and a moron, then write him out of your life until he gets his shit together. Sgat1r5 |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 9:45:33 AM EDT
[#27]
Slam him over the kitchen table and jam a cucumber up his poop shoot and then tell him there is plenty more of that waiting for him "in the real world".
That should do the trick 
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Posted: 8/5/2005 9:52:10 AM EDT
[#28]
He will likely make your life miserable (or worse) if you let him move in with you.
If he is intent on moving out let him petition the Family Court (or equivalent in his state) for emancipation. The specifics of how to do this will vary by state. After a few months of living on his own he will likely come to his senses. That is if he doesn't end up dead from one of his new Internet friends. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 9:57:18 AM EDT
[#29]
Tell him to look in the toilet, where his life will be if he does that.
I wasnt' THAT stupid when I was 16. 
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Posted: 8/5/2005 10:00:22 AM EDT
[#30]
Don't ask me to explain it, but "been there, done that". Kids of that age are always a hassle. That doesn't mean they aren't worth the hassle if your intervention can set them straight. I could tell you about one kid that all the psychologists had said would do at least five years in prison by the time he was 25. Turns out the kid really was being abused and when he got into a more reasonable environment he cleaned up his act in a big way. He still wasn't perfect, but he was tolerable. Now he has ten years in the US Navy, working at a great job with a beautiful family and a promising career. And if someone cares anything at all for the kid, then a little hassle on their part is probably worth saving him from some pervert. Emancipation isn't necessary. There is no law against the kid sleeping wherever he wants to sleep. There is no law against giving a kid shelter when he would otherwise be homeless, either. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 10:01:56 AM EDT
[#31]
just a phase, he'll grow out of it
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Posted: 8/5/2005 10:04:34 AM EDT
[#32]
From what I have seen of similar situations, it would often be a mistake to assume that. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 10:16:05 AM EDT
[#33]
What you're talking about takes a long term commitment with a stable home environment. Avtomat_Serpent said he wants to join the Army so he's not likely to be able to offer much long term help. Emancipation gives him certain legal rights he would not have as an infant as well as demonstrating to the court a certain level of maturity. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 10:20:41 AM EDT
[#34]
Well, everyone has to make their own decisions about their life schedule. But I can attest to the fact that it often doesn't take much.
I have never seen a case other than the cases where the kid already had lots of money and wanted to manage it himself where it would have made any difference. If he can raise the money for the attorney through his own work then he has effectively solved the emancipation problem. (And I have seen a fair number of similar cases). |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 10:26:31 AM EDT
[#35]
He should ask the "guy on the internet" if he's expected to bring the Vasoline.
Also, remind him if he runs into Natalee Holiway, there's a big reward for information leading to her whereabouts. Kid needs an irremovable ankle gizmo so you can retrieve him. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 10:56:28 AM EDT
[#36]
Actually there are quite a few things he would be legally barred from doing without a parent or legal guardian's consent. Since the kid isn't very mature and really has no workable plan it is just as likely that he will also run away from Avtomat_Serpent's care. Just going with the percentages. None of us have a crystal ball. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:05:25 AM EDT
[#37]
Such as?
Having seen several similar cases, I would dispute your judgment of the percentages. But it depends on the case. If someone cares about the kid enough, then they are willing to take the risk. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:11:46 AM EDT
[#38]
Yep, because turning your back on family members is always the best thing to do!! |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:20:22 AM EDT
[#39]
Is his name Taxman?
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:22:25 AM EDT
[#40]
Man, talk about tough love.
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:29:43 AM EDT
[#41]
Have him check on a decree of emancipation. This would make him able to go his own way legally as an emancipated juvinile. That way he could live with you and not jepordize your future.
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:35:48 AM EDT
[#42]
Joining the military, entering into a contract, elective medical procedures, inheriting money or property and getting married to name only a few. Some of these may depend on his state of residence. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:43:46 AM EDT
[#43]
Well, as already stated, I have seen a number of such instances and never seen an instance when a kid that age wanted to join the military (assuming the military even accepts kids that age), had need to enter into a contract, had the money to pay for a nose job, wanted to get married, had any great sums of inherited money waiting for them, etc., |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 12:10:42 PM EDT
[#44]
It doesn't have to go badly,but it probably will
 I left home in 1965,when I was 17.I had dropped out of HS after completing the 10th grade,because I was 16 ,the age at which I was legaly allowed to drop out. I worked in a Miami,FL women's garnment factory from 7AM to 10PM most days, including many Saturdays.I had no money for an apartment,so I slept in my best friend's car (back seat) while my clothes remained in the trunk.Gas was around $0.28/Gal. I bathed in Miami's Greyhound bus station and in the beaches, to later "desalinize" in the public showers at those places. Eating was fair but simple and inexpensive,often consisting of a sandwitch and water/milk. Most weekends, my friend and I went hunting to the Homestead AFB area -before it was developed- to eat ducks and rabbits we hunted,and slept in a tent freezing out butts in Dec-Feb.We also found out that in the Summer, rabbits carry worms in their flesh and are "inedible"..........unless you like worms.So we ate what we could, $.12 White Castle hamburgers were a staple we could afford on the weekends. ....and I was lucky! I had a great friend who owned a car and stuck with me,although he had a home and a bedroom he could have used.I refused his offer to sleep and bathe in his house because they were poor and he had a sister my age,so I considered it improper to stay with them. It built character ,I think, and prepared me for just about anything I faced later in life,but I could have had a bad outcome. My advice -and I told you all this crap so you see my "credential" of "been there...." - is for him to wait until he turns 18, at which time he SHOULD join the military and take it from there. I had no alternative,but if he has a way to avoid leaving home at 16,I suggest he strongly considers it. The life he will face in TODAY'S world,living on his own,is not a bright one. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 3:20:56 PM EDT
[#45]
That's my best suggestion as well, if there are no relatives he can stay with. Other option is tough it out until he can join the military. Gwen |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 3:31:51 PM EDT
[#46]
Uh, yeah, a troubled kid with no money is supposed to hire an attorney and try to work this thing through the courts. With any luck, he will get a court date by his 25th birthday. Tell me, if the kid has the money to hire an attorney, why wouldn't he just go pay rent somewhere? And I am still unclear on what emancipation does for this kid that would be remotely close to useful. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 3:54:58 PM EDT
[#47]
An emancipation petition is usually a simple procedure that doesn't require an attorney or take very long to complete. Some states have "emancipation petition packets" available with all the forms you need. There is often low-cost or no-cost legal aid available in many states as well.
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Posted: 8/5/2005 4:08:35 PM EDT
[#48]
And the typical 16-year-old kid would have how much knowledge of how to go about that? And remind me again exactly what benefit this would provide for the typical kid, assuming they knew how to do it. You listed things it could do. Not one of them would have been useful to any kid I knew in that situation. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 4:13:42 PM EDT
[#49]
Let me just say, I truly do appreciate the responses.
I told him about the Emancipation thing, and I hope he looks into it. As it stands, he actually has about $4000 he inherited from when his real mother died, so he could afford a lawyer if he needed to. * So it is really not illegal for a person at age 16 to run away from home, and go live with someone else in another state? That isnt "Child Endangerment" or "Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor?" If that is the case, I might not have as many reservations about providing shelter and comfort to him. He could get his license in my state, purchase a car, and drive himself to and from work. |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 4:13:48 PM EDT
[#50]
Hope this works out ok for your Cousin
When I was about that age I thought of takeing off (actually had it pretty good,just usuall teenage BS,hated school,hated parents bla,bla,bla) but was smart enough to think out the whole thing and KNOW I would be tradeing a pretty good life for a world of crap . |
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