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Posted: 4/19/2007 12:57:09 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/19/2007 1:01:54 PM EDT by Cypher214]
For me it has to be the time my ex got a little too carried away on top and somehow bent my member in a way that made it "pop".

It felt like my meat missle was literally snapped in half. I laid there motionless for about 5 minutes with the most intensely focused pain I've ever felt.

Luckily, it went back to normal after a few days with only a slight sting everytime I took a piss for a couple of weeks...


I looked at myself in the mirror last night and it looks like I got in a fight with a pissed off bobcat... some women love to use those claws.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 12:58:04 PM EDT
INBF anal jokes!
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 12:59:34 PM EDT
I was banging this chick (Currently my wife) at my friends house when he snuck in and fucking whipped my ass with a wet shoestring.

Talk about a welt.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:00:01 PM EDT
She was on top, and I went to give her ass a slap - my aim was a little low. She thought it funny.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:00:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By POOR_MAN:
INBF anal jokes!



Suprize Buttsecks!
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:01:00 PM EDT
full body cramp
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:02:12 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:02:39 PM EDT
The dog came in and cold nosed me and I got hit in the head by the ceiling fan blade.




Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me bubba.


Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:02:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By -RotorDemon-:
I was banging this chick (Currently my wife) at my friends house when he snuck in and fucking whipped my ass with a wet shoestring.

Talk about a welt.


Wow... major homosexual undertones...
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:03:33 PM EDT
The scar on my left foot is from doing on the floor of his room. Computer mats chafe, apparently.

Ummm he kneed a hole in the wall when we were switching positions once, but I think he was too drunk for it to hurt at the time.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:03:52 PM EDT
Bangin away on the bathroom counter with some ol girl.

she's sitting, I'm standing. Got my nut meat pinched in the drawer facing. I was really goin to town so it slammed to pretty hard.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:11:21 PM EDT
pounding away after bad chinese food....developed a wicked cramp but didn't want to stop; she was having too much fun
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:11:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/19/2007 1:12:44 PM EDT by Admiral_Crunch]
One time she was straddling me and got too carried away and almost snapped my neck and suffocated me at the same time.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:14:39 PM EDT
Drunk happy pie time on a shag carpet.

My knees and shins looked like I had been drug behind a truck for a while the next day.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:17:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BDeauman:
Drunk happy pie time on a shag carpet.

My knees and shins looked like I had been drug behind a truck for a while the next day.


palms too?



Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:19:32 PM EDT
cramp in my left ass cheek while doing it doggy style....looked like I was riding the full 8 seconds there....
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:20:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fivepointoh:
cramp in my left ass cheek while doing it doggy style....looked like I was riding the full 8 seconds there....


Thats what you get when you let a guy pound you in the ass.



j/k
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:21:38 PM EDT
ab cramp

both sides

sustained an umbilical hernia hittin it also

that wasn't painful, but it sure put a wack on my performance
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:22:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CletusRoundbelly:
The dog came in and cold nosed me and I got hit in the head by the ceiling fan blade.




Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me bubba.




+1
Damn dog
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:23:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By POOR_MAN:

Originally Posted By fivepointoh:
cramp in my left ass cheek while doing it doggy style....looked like I was riding the full 8 seconds there....


Thats what you get when you let a guy pound you in the ass.



j/k



ahhh you asshole!!!
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:24:56 PM EDT
Pulled a muscle in my stomach.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:27:40 PM EDT
Charlie horse.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:28:24 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/19/2007 2:50:06 PM EDT by BDeauman]

Originally Posted By rob78:

Originally Posted By BDeauman:
Drunk happy pie time on a shag carpet.

My knees and shins looked like I had been drug behind a truck for a while the next day.


palms too?





And my forearms...hey wait!

Since we're sharing stories, had a dog cold nose me in the ass in mid-hump once. Resulting attempt to remove said ass from said cold-nose ended up hurting both parties and scaring the dog for life.

Poor puppy, now he just sits in the corner and trembles.

Jumped on the bed, roaring drunk and butt ass naked. Bounced and sailed partially through the waferboard wall behind the bed. Left a man sized hole behind and a small piece of my pride/ass.


Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:29:12 PM EDT
My 4 year old son walked in on me and the fiancee once. I was on top. I froze. He whispered (getting off would be a good start).

Oh, and my kitten licked my nipple.

ok, it didn't hurt, but it shocked the hell out of me!
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:30:00 PM EDT
Paying at the end.


<rimshot>

Thank you...I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:30:13 PM EDT
Turned the lights on.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:31:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Cypher214:
For me it has to be the time my ex got a little too carried away on top and somehow bent my member in a way that made it "pop".

It felt like my meat missle was literally snapped in half. I laid there motionless for about 5 minutes with the most intensely focused pain I've ever felt.

Luckily, it went back to normal after a few days with only a slight sting everytime I took a piss for a couple of weeks...


I looked at myself in the mirror last night and it looks like I got in a fight with a pissed off bobcat... some women love to use those claws.



EEK!!!! a "Bender"!!!
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:31:45 PM EDT
the 90 pound girl who bit way too hard
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:32:55 PM EDT
Painful? You mean like when they point and laugh, or cry alot?

Nothing other than that.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:33:38 PM EDT
The MPI of this thread is heading towards negative infinity.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:35:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BDeauman:


Jumped on the bed, roaring drunk and butt ass naked. Bounced and sailed partially through the waferboard wall behind the bed. Left a man sized hole behind and a small piece of my pride/ass.




Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:36:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Cypher214:
For me it has to be the time my ex got a little too carried away on top and somehow bent my member in a way that made it "pop".

It felt like my meat missle was literally snapped in half. I laid there motionless for about 5 minutes with the most intensely focused pain I've ever felt.

Luckily, it went back to normal after a few days with only a slight sting everytime I took a piss for a couple of weeks...



You have to be careful about that. You are VERY lucky that you didn't rupture your dick when that happened. It soundslike you may even have a little bit.

Some guy's dicks never fully recover from a rupture.

I don't let chicks get too buckwild on top for this reason.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:39:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/19/2007 1:40:52 PM EDT by ADaughen]
In college my roomate had a chick riding him. He was in a loft bed in the dorms... He thrust and rammed her face into the textured ceiling. There were chunks of flesh up there the weekend we moved out.

My one good friend got a hernia pounding his old lady. (She's ~85lbs)



I have had the "bent member pop" and the charley horse in the foot, thigh, and calf (seperate occasions, I gotta get more potassium or something).

I think it is more painful when she looks at you and says "you're ok right?" and keeps going. Oh, sure! It happens all the time.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:50:42 PM EDT
I either cracked a rib or dislocated a rib playing hockey once but never had a doctor look at it.

For like 10 months afterward it hurt like an SOB whenever my wife would get on top.

I didn't miss a shift in the game and I sure as hell didn't let it stop me with the wife!
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:51:43 PM EDT
I had gone on a long road bike ride and came to to eat and nap. I was sleeping peacefully when my not then wife woke me up. We were having at a few minutes later when I got the most painful cramp in the back of my thigh. Damn thing hurt for a week and I never did um, complete the act that day.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 1:56:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/19/2007 2:03:21 PM EDT by iNuhBaDNayburhood]
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 2:02:27 PM EDT

Originally Posted By iNuhBaDNayburhood:

Originally Posted By Cypher214:
I looked at myself in the mirror last night and it looks like I got in a fight with a pissed off bobcat... some women love to use those claws.
Ooooh! Scratchers are fun & wild in bed!

Hurt so good.


It's not so bad until she gets close... then she grabs onto whatever is nearby and CLAMPS down with her nails. I had to stop her before she drew blood. It happened to my forearm, my bicep, my calf...
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