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Posted: 4/28/2011 10:37:22 AM EDT
Is this something new? I'm seeing references to it now but have never heard of this practice. Is it supposed to help determine if you'll fit in with the culture or what?

I was discussing this with one of my buddies today and he asked me what I would say. First thing out of my mouth was "What do Jesse Jackson and Lisa Lampanelli have in common?"

Any joke worth telling is going to get you at least a written warning in the corporate environment. So what would you tell them?
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:38:08 AM EDT
Favorite Joke: "This interview"
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:39:25 AM EDT
time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:39:40 AM EDT
Uh...I'll have a coke, then.

Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:40:32 AM EDT
Where's that Indian I was supposed to wrestle?
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:42:16 AM EDT
The Aristocrats!
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:42:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By California_Kid:
Where's that Indian I was supposed to wrestle?


This one might work if you were applying for an IT position.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:43:16 AM EDT
So a family walks into a talent agency...
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:43:31 AM EDT
Ya know, I ran into this earlier in the year at a career fair.

These two engineers were interviewing for a variety of jobs...

"Hi, I'm Rem"
"Hi, Rem...listen, we're going to be up front with you neither one of us has any interviewing expereience so its as stressful for us as it is you so...ummm...pshhhh...lets break the ice and get more comfortable...tell us a funny joke or something"
"....uhhhhhhhhh...ummmmmmmmmmm...uhhhhhhh...derrrrrrrrr...uhhhhhhhh"
"ah hem...okay, we'll lets skip the joke..."

The interview was conducted poorly by these two morons. Career services asked me to evaluate the interviews and I said something to effect of "I was fine and it went well for me...but the retards that interviewed me didn't have a freaking clue about anything. Will not work for them regardless of offer"
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:43:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Harvster:
The Aristocrats!


Love it. Although I'm not sure Barbara in HR would appreciate it much less understand it.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:44:29 AM EDT
Velcro chaps.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:44:31 AM EDT
Why did Princess Diana cross the street?


She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:44:58 AM EDT
Sonofabitch Fish

One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before; the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, "Give it a shot, father."

After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says, "Whoa, what a big sonofabitch!"

The priest says, "Ah, please sir, can you mind your language?"

The fisherman responds (thinking quickly), "I'm sorry father, but that's what this fish is called––-a sonofabitch!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the priest. "I didn't know."

After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop. "Eminence, look at this big sonofabitch!"

"Please father," says the bishop. "Mind your language, this is a house of God."

"No, you don't understand," says the priest. "That's what this fish is called, and I caught it. I caught this sonofabitch!"

"Hmmm," says the bishop. "You know, I could clean this sonofabitch and we could have it for dinner."

So the bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to Mother Superior at the convent.

"Mother Superior, could you cook this sonofabitch for our dinner tonight with the Pope?"

"My lord, what language!" says the mother.

"No, sister," says the bishop. "That's what the fish is called––-a sonofabitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we'd like you to cook it"

"Hmmm," replies Mother Superior. "Yes, I'll cook that sonofabitch tonight."

While the Pope is over for dinner that evening he remarks that the fish is superb. He asks where they got it.

"I caught the sonofabitch!" says the priest.

"And I cleaned the sonofabitch!" says the bishop.

"And I cooked the sonofabitch!" says Mother Superior.

The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then takes off his hat, puts his feet up on the table, and says, "You know, you f***ers are all right.".
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:46:03 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Capt-Planet:
Why did Princess Diana cross the street?


She wasn't wearing a seat belt.


That's right up there with "What kind of wood doesn't float?"


Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:46:21 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Capt-Planet:
Why did Princess Diana cross the street?


She wasn't wearing a seat belt.


I rost
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:46:40 AM EDT
Honest answer?

I'd probably say some lame engineering joke that everyone's heard a million times before. The question only exists to see if you have the ability to make good conversation and think on your feet.


ARFCOM answer?

What do you get when you cut open a dead baby with a razor?

An erection! Eeeeey!
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:48:06 AM EDT
Originally Posted By grywlf52:
Originally Posted By Capt-Planet:
Why did Princess Diana cross the street?


She wasn't wearing a seat belt.


I rost


Thats fuckin horrible..


But so did I
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:48:39 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Capt-Planet:
Why did Princess Diana cross the street?


She wasn't wearing a seat belt.


did you hear that she was on the radio a while back?

and on the dashboard, and on the windshield...
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:51:50 AM EDT
That's a tough one.

Most jokes have a slight element of being off colored, and that's the last thing you want to say for a first impression in the work place.

Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:53:50 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ED_P:
That's a tough one.

Most jokes have a slight element of being off colored, and that's the last thing you want to say for a first impression in the work place.



I agree, I just tried to think of one that wouldn't piss off someone, no way I could do it.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:54:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
Uh...I'll have a coke, then.





Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:55:32 AM EDT
Being that I'm an engineer, I would tell an engineering joke!
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:58:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Bob243:
Originally Posted By ED_P:
That's a tough one.

Most jokes have a slight element of being off colored, and that's the last thing you want to say for a first impression in the work place.



I agree, I just tried to think of one that wouldn't piss off someone, no way I could do it.


Hence the conundrum.

Link Posted: 4/28/2011 10:59:39 AM EDT
I would lead them in a short prayer before the interview.

"Dear Lord,
This has been a tough couple of years ...
You have taken my favorite actor Patrick Swayze,
my favorite actress Farrah Fawcett,
my favorite musician Michael Jackson,
my favorite salesman Billy Mays,,
and my favorite athlete Steve McNair.
"I just wanted you to know that my favorite president is Barack Obama.
Amen
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:03:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SevenMaryThree:
Originally Posted By Bob243:
Originally Posted By ED_P:

That's a tough one.

Most jokes have a slight element of being off colored, and that's the last thing you want to say for a first impression in the work place.

I agree, I just tried to think of one that wouldn't piss off someone, no way I could do it.

Hence the conundrum.

It's a trap. I don't know any jokes that would be appropriate for work. In all seriousness, I don't know any jokes at all. I didn't realize the position was "comic".
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:03:51 AM EDT
"Quick as I catch my breath, I call him darlin'." The problem is that it's more story than joke, and takes about three or four minutes to tell properly.

Jane
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:04:58 AM EDT
Originally Posted By PlaneJane:
"Quick as I catch my breath, I call him darlin'." The problem is that it's more story than joke, and takes about three or four minutes to tell properly.

Jane


Intrigued.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:05:16 AM EDT
Originally Posted By SevenMaryThree:

Originally Posted By Capt-Planet:
Why did Princess Diana cross the street?


She wasn't wearing a seat belt.


That's right up there with "What kind of wood doesn't float?"




Natalie?
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:05:42 AM EDT
"I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore".
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:06:28 AM EDT
Originally Posted By LinkedM4:
Originally Posted By Capt-Planet:
Why did Princess Diana cross the street?


She wasn't wearing a seat belt.


did you hear that she was on the radio a while back?

and on the dashboard, and on the windshield...


I hear she was always a very hygeine-conscious woman.

She always made sure to have her Head & Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:07:22 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Conju:
Being that I'm an engineer, I would tell an engineering joke!


"Why can't they play at night?"
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:07:28 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Fweakley:
Sonofabitch Fish


lol
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:13:40 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Caboose314:
"I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore".


I lost. One of the best SNL skits ever.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:17:29 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/28/2011 11:20:48 AM EDT by bluetick357]
Q:What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
A: A quarter pounder with cheese.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:17:33 AM EDT
My neighbour found out that her dog ( a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian.

The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The lady went to the chemist and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."

The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."

The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."

The lady replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."

The pharmacist says, "Well stay off your bicycle for about a week."
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:20:32 AM EDT



Get a job sparkling wiggles.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:24:29 AM EDT
Originally Posted By pdg45acp:
I would lead them in a short prayer before the interview.

"Dear Lord,
This has been a tough couple of years ...
You have taken my favorite actor Patrick Swayze,
my favorite actress Farrah Fawcett,
my favorite musician Michael Jackson,
my favorite salesman Billy Mays,,
and my favorite athlete Steve McNair.
"I just wanted you to know that my favorite president is Barack Obama.
Amen


Except, "Meet the 45th President of the United States, Joe Biden" is no joke at all.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:28:53 AM EDT
I'd tell the font joke, it's clean and probably can't get me into much trouble.

Two fonts walk into a bar and order drinks.

The bartender refuses and escorts them to the door.

Why can't we have a drink they ask.

The bartender replies, because we don't serve your TYPE in here.


Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:30:21 AM EDT
Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

A: Dr. Dre.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:30:45 AM EDT
They're just looking for another reason to not hire you.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:37:33 AM EDT
Did you hear Playboy offered Sarah Palin a full spread for next month?? Not to be out done National Geographic contacted Michelle Obama...


If asked to tell a joke I would immediately think of the WORST thing I could come up with
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:38:52 AM EDT
Eric Holder.

Ha-ha.

Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:40:12 AM EDT
what's brown and sticky?


A stick.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:45:37 AM EDT
Originally Posted By TrojanMan:
Originally Posted By LinkedM4:
Originally Posted By Capt-Planet:
Why did Princess Diana cross the street?


She wasn't wearing a seat belt.


did you hear that she was on the radio a while back?

and on the dashboard, and on the windshield...


I hear she was always a very hygeine-conscious woman.

She always made sure to have her Head & Shoulders in the glove compartment.


Everyone expected her to marry a handsome Arab but she took a turn for a solidly built pole.

Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:46:08 AM EDT


"How come it takes three Polacks to screw up a light bulb? –– Cause they're so darn stupid!"
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:46:12 AM EDT
Resort to the classics.

What is the difference between broccoli and boogers?













Kids will eat boogers.
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:46:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Billmanweh:
time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana

Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:48:00 AM EDT
Did you here the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

He lays in bed, tossing and turning, night after night....wondering whether or not there is a dog.

***************

No profanity, no sex, no race...just a (very) little humor at the expense of a stupid nondescript person.

Remember, this "tell a joke at the job interview" idea is not meant to make the interviewer laugh. It is designed to show the interviewer what sort of person the job candidate is, and whether or not they have the necessary viewpoint to work there. Telling an offensive joke equals "don't call us, we'll call you", especially if the interviewer is a politically correct corporate drone from HR.


Steve
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:49:28 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/28/2011 11:50:53 AM EDT by FZ1Steve]
There is a new Game Warden in town and he knows that Bubba is a outlaw where hunting out of season, and game limits are concerend. So the Game Warden decides to break the ice, let Bubba know who's boss so he takes Bubba fishing.
In the Game Wardens boat, Bubba is at one end, the GW is at the other.
Bubba opens his tackle box, takes out a quarter stick of dynamite, lights it and tosses it in the lake, BOOM fish float to the surface.
The GW is livid, starts telling Bubba how much the fine is, how he is going to jail.
Bubba opens his tackle box, takes out a quarter stick of dynamite, lights the fuse, tosses the dynamite in the GW's end of the boat and says:

Are yew gonna talk or are yew gonna fish?
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:53:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Cheesebeast:
Resort to the classics.

What is the difference between broccoli and boogers?













Kids will eat boogers.


Have to admit, I
Link Posted: 4/28/2011 11:55:51 AM EDT
Originally Posted By FZ1Steve:
There is a new Game Warden in town and he knows that Bubba is a outlaw where hunting out of season, and game limits are concerend. So the Game Warden decides to break the ice, let Bubba know who's boss so he takes Bubba fishing.
In the Game Wardens boat, Bubba is at one end, the GW is at the other.
Bubba opens his tackle box, takes out a quarter stick of dynamite, lights it and tosses it in the lake, BOOM fish float to the surface.
The GW is livid, starts telling Bubba how much the fine is, how he is going to jail.
Bubba opens his tackle box, takes out a quarter stick of dynamite, lights the fuse, tosses the dynamite in the GW's end of the boat and says:

Are yew gonna talk or are yew gonna fish?


I rost!
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