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Posted: 7/21/2005 12:25:49 PM EDT
What are your favorite phrases to use or that you've heard?

One of my all time favorites is: "If we're not supposed to eat animals, then why did God make them out of meat?"
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:27:30 PM EDT
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:27:41 PM EDT
I love animals...they.re delicious!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:28:36 PM EDT
"I'm so Goth I shit bats!"
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:32:35 PM EDT
When in a place devoid of any light: "It's darker than a sack full of assholes."
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:34:46 PM EDT
That stinks so bad it could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:38:57 PM EDT
...is that so... well if my Aunt had balls, she'd be my Uncle...
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:40:31 PM EDT



BUSIER THAN A ONE LEGGED MAN IN AN ASS KICKING CONTEST
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:42:07 PM EDT



not really a phrase, but:

homobile.

in reference to gay cars.

i'm not going to take credit for this one, but i've never heard it before the day it popped out when a co-worker asked what i thought of his new car. guys shouldn't ever drive light blue VW beetles.

Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:42:29 PM EDT
Slicker than a double-cunted cow pissin' on a flat rock
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:44:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bullyforyou:
guys shouldn't ever drive light blue VW beetles.



Fixed it for you.
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:44:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motocam25:
Slicker than a double-cunted cow pissin' on a flat rock




To continue the above theme: "I wouldn't give a cunt full of cow slobber for that."

Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:45:04 PM EDT
I'm gonna make like a banana and split.

Let's make like a Tom and Cruise.

I'm gonna make like a rock, and roll

Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:45:35 PM EDT
I'd like to add: "I would hit it like a retard on a drum set."
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:46:08 PM EDT
I'm gonna mop the floor with your ass then whip it for not gettin' up in the corners.

I'll put a pot knot on your head big enough for a calf to suck on.

I'll put a pot knot on your head big enough to use as a trailer hitch.

I've got a 55 gallon drum of whup ass and I'm 'a gonna come down there and pour it all over you.

Roy D. Mercer
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:46:31 PM EDT
She's sexier'n socks on a rooster!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:47:00 PM EDT
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:47:07 PM EDT
It's colder than a witch's tittie!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:48:03 PM EDT
She's uglier than a sack of assholes!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:48:05 PM EDT
She's uglier than a truckload of crushed asshole.

Water? No thanks...fish fuck in that stuff ya know.
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:48:42 PM EDT
I'm cleaner than a preacher's sheets!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:49:30 PM EDT
You're slower than smoke off of possum shit!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:49:58 PM EDT
Who put the sand in your Mangina?

while fishing..."You had a pre-mature eJERKalation"

I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be flossing with my boot lace

Engage your brain before your mouth, please.

I eat Salmon, the other pink meat

As far as the ladies are concerned, I'm just a professional dildo model


Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:50:12 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/21/2005 12:51:02 PM EDT by dvr9]

Originally Posted By rifleman2002:
I'm gonna make like a banana and split.

Let's make like a Tom and Cruise.

I'm gonna make like a rock, and roll





Jeez....who are you, Vinnie Barbarino??
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:50:13 PM EDT
[Patton] Faster than SHIT THROUGH A GOOSE! [/Patton]
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:51:29 PM EDT
That thing reads like a fuck book!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:52:09 PM EDT
Ever see a ring block a hole?
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:53:09 PM EDT
That's like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:53:46 PM EDT
That thing's moving at the speed of heat!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:55:34 PM EDT
Dilligaf

PETA people eating tasty animals

and some others
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:56:42 PM EDT
He's a good kid, but he'd cross thread a ketchup bottle.
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 12:58:00 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Fly-Navy:
What are your favorite phrases to use or that you've heard?

One of my all time favorites is: "If we're not supposed to eat animals, then why did God make them out of meat?"



I love that billboard that says "There's room for all gods creatures, right next to the mashed potatoes".,
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:07:56 PM EDT
Im sweatin like a fagg eatin a hotdog!!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:08:45 PM EDT
Im sweatin like four fat funky bitches in a fiat!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:09:33 PM EDT
Thats funnier than a retard at the chucky cheese.
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:09:46 PM EDT
tag
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:10:15 PM EDT
Damn! She looks like she got in a chainsaw fight and hers wouldn't crank!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:10:52 PM EDT
Boy im happier than a fagg with a bag full o dicks!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:13:56 PM EDT
You’re about as useful as pigeon shit on a pump handle!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:15:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/21/2005 1:16:13 PM EDT by Lakeguy]
From some old guy I used to work with:



shakin like a dog shittin a 2 foot bone...

that motherfuckers slower then a turtle with airbrakes

Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:17:54 PM EDT
Words of wisdom:

He who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:18:16 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/21/2005 1:19:59 PM EDT by zeekh]
My fathers sayings when working around the house when I was young:

A man running for his life will never see it. And if he's in my house he better be running.

Damn said the ram as he shot over the cliff

EDA: Shicks which is a combination of shit & shucks because he didn't want me to be learning new words when I was at that impressionalbe age
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:21:39 PM EDT
This is one I heard YEARS ago and it’s with a real strong Texas or southern accent-

“Hotter’n a fast fucked fox in a forest far.”

All right, I’m demented but it got me tickeled.
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:27:47 PM EDT
..and my personal favorite:

"It's hotter than two rats fuckin in a wool sock!"

there are a lot of "it's hotter than" phrases that came from TEXAS
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:30:16 PM EDT
For bad smell situation. "Gag a maggot off a shit wagon at twenty paces".
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:30:29 PM EDT
you drive like old people fuck....

...slow and sloppy.
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:31:27 PM EDT
Crazier than a rat in a tin shithouse.

as confused as a blind dog in a meat packing plant.

as nervous as a pregnant Nun. (Sorry to all you Catholics)

(while pointing at the offender) If you're here, who's runnin hell?


Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:32:54 PM EDT
For some reason since I've read this I laugh every time I think of it.



Your mama's so fat when she sits in the tub, the water in the toilet rises.

Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:37:52 PM EDT
Damn spcwes, tryin to get the ole post count up are ya.
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:44:04 PM EDT
Jeebus Cripees, would you look at the grill on her!! She could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence!
Link Posted: 7/21/2005 1:48:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By chuckhammer:
It's colder than a witch's tittie!



...in a brass bra....
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