Funny Phrases - AR15.COM

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Funny Phrases (Page 1 of 4)

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:25:49 PM EDT

What are your favorite phrases to use or that you've heard?

One of my all time favorites is: "If we're not supposed to eat animals, then why did God make them out of meat?"

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:27:30 PM EDT

[#1]

this makes me laugh

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:27:41 PM EDT

[#2]

I love animals...they.re delicious!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:28:36 PM EDT

[#3]

"I'm so Goth I shit bats!"

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:32:35 PM EDT

[#4]

When in a place devoid of any light: "It's darker than a sack full of assholes."

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:34:46 PM EDT

[#5]

That stinks so bad it could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:38:57 PM EDT

[#6]

...is that so... well if my Aunt had balls, she'd be my Uncle...

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:40:31 PM EDT

[#7]

BUSIER THAN A ONE LEGGED MAN IN AN ASS KICKING CONTEST

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:42:07 PM EDT

[#8]

not really a phrase, but:

homobile.

in reference to gay cars.

i'm not going to take credit for this one, but i've never heard it before the day it popped out when a co-worker asked what i thought of his new car. guys shouldn't ever drive light blue VW beetles.

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:42:29 PM EDT

[#9]

Slicker than a double-cunted cow pissin' on a flat rock

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:44:29 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
guys shouldn't ever drive ~~light blue~~ VW beetles.

Fixed it for you.

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:44:48 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Slicker than a double-cunted cow pissin' on a flat rock

To continue the above theme: "I wouldn't give a cunt full of cow slobber for that."

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:45:04 PM EDT

[#12]

I'm gonna make like a banana and split.

Let's make like a Tom and Cruise.

I'm gonna make like a rock, and roll

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:45:35 PM EDT

[#13]

I'd like to add: "I would hit it like a retard on a drum set."

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:46:08 PM EDT

[#14]

I'm gonna mop the floor with your ass then whip it for not gettin' up in the corners.

I'll put a pot knot on your head big enough for a calf to suck on.

I'll put a pot knot on your head big enough to use as a trailer hitch.

I've got a 55 gallon drum of whup ass and I'm 'a gonna come down there and pour it all over you.

Roy D. Mercer

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:46:31 PM EDT

[#15]

She's sexier'n socks on a rooster!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:47:00 PM EDT

[#16]

see second part of my sig line.

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:47:07 PM EDT

[#17]

It's colder than a witch's tittie!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:48:03 PM EDT

[#18]

She's uglier than a sack of assholes!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:48:05 PM EDT

[#19]

She's uglier than a truckload of crushed asshole.

Water? No thanks...fish fuck in that stuff ya know.

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:48:42 PM EDT

[#20]

I'm cleaner than a preacher's sheets!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:49:30 PM EDT

[#21]

You're slower than smoke off of possum shit!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:49:58 PM EDT

[#22]

Who put the sand in your Mangina?

while fishing..."You had a pre-mature eJERKalation"

I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be flossing with my boot lace

Engage your brain before your mouth, please.

I eat Salmon, the other pink meat

As far as the ladies are concerned, I'm just a professional dildo model

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:50:12 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
I'm gonna make like a banana and split.

Let's make like a Tom and Cruise.

I'm gonna make like a rock, and roll

Jeez....who are you, Vinnie Barbarino??

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:50:13 PM EDT

[#24]

[Patton] Faster than SHIT THROUGH A GOOSE! [/Patton]

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:51:29 PM EDT

[#25]

That thing reads like a fuck book!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:52:09 PM EDT

[#26]

Ever see a ring block a hole?

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:53:09 PM EDT

[#27]

That's like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:53:46 PM EDT

[#28]

That thing's moving at the speed of heat!

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:55:34 PM EDT

[#29]

Dilligaf

PETA people eating tasty animals

and some others

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:56:42 PM EDT

[#30]

He's a good kid, but he'd cross thread a ketchup bottle.

Posted: 7/21/2005 12:58:00 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
What are your favorite phrases to use or that you've heard?

One of my all time favorites is: "If we're not supposed to eat animals, then why did God make them out of meat?"

I love that billboard that says "There's room for all gods creatures, right next to the mashed potatoes".,

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:07:56 PM EDT

[#32]

Im sweatin like a fagg eatin a hotdog!!

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:08:45 PM EDT

[#33]

Im sweatin like four fat funky bitches in a fiat!

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:09:33 PM EDT

[#34]

Thats funnier than a retard at the chucky cheese.

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:09:46 PM EDT

[#35]

tag

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:10:15 PM EDT

[#36]

Damn! She looks like she got in a chainsaw fight and hers wouldn't crank!

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:10:52 PM EDT

[#37]

Boy im happier than a fagg with a bag full o dicks!

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:13:56 PM EDT

[#38]

You’re about as useful as pigeon shit on a pump handle!

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:15:48 PM EDT

[#39]

From some old guy I used to work with:

shakin like a dog shittin a 2 foot bone...

that motherfuckers slower then a turtle with airbrakes

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:17:54 PM EDT

[#40]

Words of wisdom:

He who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:18:16 PM EDT

[#41]

My fathers sayings when working around the house when I was young:

A man running for his life will never see it. And if he's in my house he better be running.

Damn said the ram as he shot over the cliff

EDA: Shicks which is a combination of shit & shucks because he didn't want me to be learning new words when I was at that impressionalbe age

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:21:39 PM EDT

[#42]

This is one I heard YEARS ago and it’s with a real strong Texas or southern accent-

“Hotter’n a fast fucked fox in a forest far.”

All right, I’m demented but it got me tickeled.

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:27:47 PM EDT

[#43]

..and my personal favorite:

"It's hotter than two rats fuckin in a wool sock!"

there are a lot of "it's hotter than" phrases that came from TEXAS

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:30:16 PM EDT

[#44]

For bad smell situation. "Gag a maggot off a shit wagon at twenty paces".

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:30:29 PM EDT

[#45]

you drive like old people fuck....

...slow and sloppy.

Posted: 7/21/2005 1:31:27 PM EDT

[#46]

Crazier than a rat in a tin shithouse.

as confused as a blind dog in a meat packing plant.

as nervous as a pregnant Nun. (Sorry to all you Catholics)

(while pointing at the offender) If you're here, who's runnin hell?