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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 4/6/2002 3:57:00 AM EST
The clean-up portion of the ground war in heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of the remaining Taliban zealots by proving the non-existence of God. Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade or 'Black Berets' will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of sidewalk cafes at strategic points near the front lines. There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears every five minutes and looking remote and unattainable to everyone else. Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intense and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said "The Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous. There is no God and I can prove it. Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliet, I am talking." Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films of Alfred Hitchcock. However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoke from the Frenchmen's endless consumption of Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 4:10:31 AM EST
Rodent, I have no idea how you came by this highly classified information on a future operation and don't want to know. However, since you've posted this much I've heard Hanoi Jane Fonda will be there with her own table and a chimp on either side to lick her ears. Hanoi Jane is scheduled to give a seminar just for Afghan women titled" "How to screw Ted Turner out of one Billion dollars."
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 8:36:56 AM EST
Dude that was hillarious. I especially found the part about France actually helping us funny. Crack units...LOL.
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 8:48:51 AM EST
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 8:51:27 AM EST
ROTFLMAO!!! I almost fell clear out of my chair laughing!
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 9:01:54 AM EST
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 9:24:51 AM EST
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 9:33:33 AM EST
Well atleast the French will abide by the Taliban's "No shaving policy" (men or women) hahahaha
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 9:37:07 AM EST
The French brigade's girlfriends will further undermine the Taliban's confidence by gesturing to the Taliban's puny beards and then showing their bushy underarms. [rolleyes]
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 9:44:22 AM EST
What, us surrender ya right.....LOL
Link Posted: 4/6/2002 4:05:21 PM EST
Some of you guys just aren't taking this seriously, nor are you looking at the enormous benefit this will be. A new supply of slightly used French weapons will shortly be hitting the market...cheap...only dropped once! [:D]
Link Posted: 4/7/2002 5:52:42 AM EST
LOL! Now that should bring the French Fanatics outta the woodwork!
Link Posted: 4/7/2002 6:02:50 AM EST
A new supply of slightly used French weapons will shortly be hitting the market...cheap...only dropped once!
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Yeah, but who want a rifle with an NRA rating of "Very Poor, Class D"? (Class D: suggested use - drive the muzzle into the ground and nail a bird house to the buttstock). [;)]
Link Posted: 4/8/2002 2:01:59 PM EST
LOL...now that was funny
Link Posted: 4/8/2002 2:47:21 PM EST
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